Once upon a time, there was a camp in the woods. Sounds like a fairy tale, right? But this is not a fairy tale. Not really.

The camp had some wooden cabins, as most camps do. They were all in a line with a dirt path in front of them. Three were for campers and their chaperones to live in. One was the camp office. A larger one was the kitchen and dining hall. Slightly further away, but on the same path, another building served as a classroom. Across from these cabins were the showers and a lake, and across the lake was another tiny cabin for the scary old man in the woods. But he’s not old or scary. Not really.

On this particular day, the sun shone brightly down on the cabins. It sparkled cheerfully on the lake. And it filtered through the curtains of one cabin onto the face of a sleeping girl. Birds chirped in the forest, an early spring breeze rustled the leaves in the trees, and the remnants of a campfire were still slightly smoking. But don’t be fooled. This place is hardly ever peaceful. Not really.

This place is different. It’s called Camp Milk and Cookies. And it’s the home of a group of very unusual people called the Tri-Leaders.

***

The girl sleeping in the cabin ignored the sun on her face by snoring and pulling the blanket over her head. All was well. At least until another girl threw open the cabin door. These two girls appeared to be in their early twenties and looked exactly alike. Except that the girl sleeping had a larger head, and the one awake was decidedly more cheerful.

“Good morning, Ann!”

“Shut up, Roses. It is way too early for you to be happy.”

“It’s noon! Get up!”

“You say that every day. Do I ever listen?”

“Every time,” Roses busily, and with more noise than was necessary, opened her dresser drawers and threw things into an open suitcase on her bed.

“Well, today I’m not.”

“Yes, you will,” Roses nodded, heading for the closet. “We’re leaving today.”

“Don’t remind me. I have to drive you people.”

“Squeak!” a small brown and gray squirrel complained from the window ledge. He’d followed Roses inside, un-noticed.

“And animals, too. I have to drive you people and animals. Sorry, Billy Jo.”

The squirrel seemed appeased and turned to Roses. “Squeaker squeaken squeak squeak?”

“No, but thanks,” Roses told him. “I’ll supervise loading the van and the spaceship myself. Two o’clock gives everyone two hours. Tell them to be ready and to meet in front of the kitchen. Got it?”

Billy Jo shook his head yes, saluted, and ran away. Roses continued packing while humming to herself.

“I’m glad you’re so pleasant,” Ann mumbled from underneath her pillow.

“I wasn’t in a good mood on our last vacation, but this is my favorite place.”

“I know. Believe me, I know.”

“Go take a shower,” Roses ordered. “I’ll see you outside the kitchen.”

“Mhmmm,” a hand emerged from the blanket to wave Roses away.

Roses grinned, zipped up her suitcase, and dragged it outside and down the stairs. To her left was the boys’ cabin. She suspected they were still sleeping, but she didn’t go check. She headed to the right instead, past the other girls’ cabin. Loud music blared from inside, a sure sign that they were up. She continued down the dirt path, passing the newly rebuilt kitchen. That was a John disaster, best left alone. Thinking about it always put her in a really bad mood. Stupid bulldozer.

Roses glanced across the lake. Smoke rose from behind the cabin on the other side. Normally, she’d worry, but with Vinnie there was no reason to be concerned. He was probably doing something she didn’t need to know about.

She finally reached her destination, the camp office. It was a one-room cabin on the other side of the kitchen. Of course it was hers, as she lived at the camp and owned it, but she had to share with Roseidous and Ann when they visited. Otherwise, it was her personal, private office, organized to perfection.

Inside, she sat down at her spotless desk, grabbed the phone, and dialed.

A chipper woman answered. “A very happy morning to you! Please let me know how I can help you!”

“Yes, hello. I wanted to verify the rooms for the Tri-Leader Convention, party of 22. We’ll be arriving today around four.”

“If you would wait just a few seconds, I’ll certainly check that for you!” There were sounds of keys clicking from a computer. Roses tapped a pen on the desk. “There we are! Yes, ma’am. Your reservations are all set. Are you sure you want the different locations for your group?”

“I’m sure.”

“Great! Do you need transportation from the airport? We can arrange for the MEARS bus to pick you up.”

“I think I’ve got it covered, thanks.”

“Can I do anything else to help you?”

“Nope, we’re ready. You’ve been very helpful.”

“Thank you, ma’am! We’ll look forward to seeing you later today!”

“Goodbye.” Roses hung up and sat back in her chair. Tri-Leader Convention. It wasn’t really a convention, just an excuse for special privileges and nametags. Because the Tri-Leaders deserved special treatment.

Tri-Leaders. A name that would one day strike fear into the hearts of rivals and demand respect from everyone. Once they took over the world.

The Tri-Leaders were a long and complicated story.

***

It all started back when Molly, the wayward time traveler, met Ringo, the Eternally Happy, during a performance of the Leonardo Traveling Troupe Spectacular Clown Quartet. During the Dance of Eternal Happiness, to be exact. And, as the story so typically goes, they fell in love. But marriage would have to wait. And wait it did until that fateful night when John, a fellow member of the clown quartet, was murdered. Rather than become a trio, the remaining clowns split up. Paul and George were free to set up their own company in Hawaii, and Ringo was free to marry Molly.

Soon, the happy couple found themselves with a family. Ann and Roses, twin girls, were the oldest, followed by their adopted brother Roseidous, and their biological brother, John. The oldest three children hated John because he was Ringo's favorite. He got all of the attention, and all of the toys. Sibling rivalry grew, as did a rivalry between Molly and Ringo. The unhappy family was about to be split apart. But not like you think. One day, in the middle of an argument, Ringo and Molly got in the old time machine. They were going back in time to determine who was right. Old Betsy exploded, and the bodies were never found. Ann, Roses, John, and Roseidous were sent to various foster families in their own neighborhood.

Somehow, life went on, and the children continued to attend EVIL Elementary School with all of their friends. When Roses, Ann, and Roseidous were in their last year at EVIL Elementary, there was quite an unexpected accident. A memory potion in Professor Snape's fifth grade class went horribly wrong, and the entire population of the school lost their memories. The families moved away from the town and never spoke of the incident to their children. Roseidous with his foster family, Roses in Clyattville, and Ann with the Chovis had no memory of their parents, friends, or even each other. But again, life went on.

After the potion incident, John was doing well, too. Or at least he was until he decided to run away from his foster family to find his destiny. He ran to New Jersey first and met Ian and Silent Jim, two friends who pledged to be loyal to him forever. He eventually ended up at Evil School, a different one, in another dimension. He, along with his classmates, was trained in the art of evil and learned how to take over the world. The class had an interesting year, including the Pan-Evil Prom, several 'incidents,' and graduation. The students were sent out into the real world, under the careful watch of Randall, Director of Evil Human Resources.

John really was brilliant. That's why he was only a year behind Roses and Ann at school and why he graduated at the top of his class. John teamed up with his girlfriend, Ebony Trester, and together they created an army of robots. They also created a baby, but that's a story that doesn’t need telling. John, the evil mastermind; Ebony, the technological genius; and the robot army were prepared to make their teachers proud and take over the world. They just needed an opportunity. And they got one.

While John was away at Evil School, something strange was happening. Some of the children whose memories were erased moved to the same town. They realized their odd connection and became friends again, even though they didn’t know they attended the same elementary school. Roses arrived at that school her senior year, and quickly joined in the group just in time for Spring Break.

Roseidous was also at the school, and he was hiding his own technological genius. During Spring Break, he introduced Roses to his secret lab in the desert and announced his own plans to take over the world. Roses helped him in the creation of an army of Tyrael clones to take over Albuquerque, and in the plan to kidnap a community leader, Jeff, to command the army. Unfortunately, Tyrael escaped with help from Tails, Fitey, Dahjo, Lone, Yoda, and a sexy orange hat. He flew to the planet Whydontyoueatyourveggies and spoke to the all-knowing Tangerine Hologram Watch. It told him how to defeat Roses and Roseidous, and he did so. He had a little help from Jeff, though. Jeff, with his omnipotent powers, deleted everyone.

This was John's great opportunity. He and Ebony would go to Albuquerque while everyone else was occupied, and then make their own army take over the world. But John didn't figure that his robots would be deleted, too. He went crazy and fought with Ebony. She left him and moved to Clyattville, where she gave birth to Katherine. Ebony wanted to get back at John, so she tried to genetically age Katherine to be ten years old. Katherine could then live with John and make his life miserable. But there was a mistake in the experiment, and Katherine only reached age five before disappearing. Or so Ebony thought. Katherine ended up in EVIL elementary as a kindergartener while Ebony and John were in fifth grade. Technically, Katherine did annoy John every day, fulfilling Ebony's dream. But she didn't know that Katherine was her daughter then, and didn't remember anyone named Katherine because of the memory potion, and….time travel is confusing. Anyway, John moved to a cave in the woods and began to gather his allies.

Everyone back in Albuquerque survived the deletion and headed back to school. Everyone except Roses. She was tangled in Roseidous’ really weird robotic hair that somehow materialized in the deletion process, and she couldn't get out. Cait, meanwhile, was enjoying his own school's Spring Break. He decided to go visit Roseidous and make fun of him. He quickly realized that Roses was trapped and called for help. What he got was his friend TAS-man, a self-proclaimed superhero with an addiction to Mountain Dew. They worked together all day, causing commotions in the halls, and then left early because TAS's Mommy made cookies. They never did save Roses from the creepy hair.

Roseidous and the others were placed in detention for the problems TAS caused and settled in for a long afternoon. Tyrael and Roseidous amused themselves with the "Throw Pens at Holli Game." Roses got annoyed and rescued herself. Bunny, the class pet, died; the fourth-dimensional being named Crayak showed up; and they all met Jaina, the only other person in detention. Roseidous' hair turned into a portal to another dimension. The entire group landed in a non-reality version of Clyattville. Roses, being from the real Clyattville, took charge and they were soon “rescued” by TAS-man and Cait-Dog. Roses moved to Budapest and vowed never to be involved with Roseidous and his stupid plans ever again. But she couldn't escape forever.

Meanwhile, Ann Chovi had been very busy. She had an Oreo recipe, a cousin named Jan, a map to Atlantis, and her very own Moonbase, complete with computer specialist and accountant. She met a girl named Roses on a routine trip to Budapest and the two quickly became best friends. Not to mention they looked scarily alike. Like they could almost be twins. Roses decided to have a sleepover for all of the girls. They began by playing prank phone calls on Nothlit at work, and he invited them all over. They flew Ann's spaceship to the bookstore and chaos ensued. Roseidous and Pen fell into another inter-dimensional portal and the group set out to rescue Pen. Roses refused to go, only to show up later with TAS and Cait for a dramatic rescue. Roseidous brought back his fortune from that dimension and immediately bought a fortress and made some supermodel clones. TAS and Cait opened a Pizza Delivery Service at TAS's Mommy's house and hired Yoda and Nothlit along with the new guy, Todd.

Sitting around in his fortress all day began to give Roseidous ideas. He decided to attempt to conquer the world again and recruited Ann and Roses to help. They became the Tri-Leaders and their weapon of choice was a genetically altered Oreo cookie. Roses bought a camp and some coalmines in the woods; they hired associates, and agreed to train the Junior Tri-Leaders: Holli, Tails, and Tyrael. Things were going great for them, but they were going great in another part of the woods, too. John also had a host of allies, and the stage was set for a showdown on Main Street. During the showdown, it was revealed that Ann’s cousin, Jan, knew Ian on an extremely personal basis. After everyone recovered from the shock, the battle continued. Both sides claimed victory. The Tri-Leaders and John became mortal enemies and promised to destroy each other.

The Tri-Leader associates were quite the group. They had Vinnie, the cross-dressing hit man. He was trained in every technique imaginable in the fields of theft, arson, torture, survival, and stealth. The strong and silent type, he was a perfect employee as long as he was allowed his own choice of wardrobe, usually skirts and dresses. Then there was Vic, their supplier. Vic could get anything from anywhere and in his spare time, secretly led the Garden Gnome Liberation Front, as he was, indeed, a garden gnome. Next was Murry, a floating skull with a propensity for using bad language. He managed the coal mines. Billy Jo, the squirrel, and his friends were the security guards of the camp. Billy Jo also liked to document all activities with his video camera. Bubba the penguin came from who knows where, but a giant penguin who liked to hug people a little too much was a great form of intimidation. Mr. Packard, the local mailman and Brad Pitt look-alike, delivered all the packages and was a friendly ally. Ann brought her two-headed monkey robot named Al who handled all their finances. One head liked to save, one liked to spend and they often argued or ignored each other. Stan the ferret/weasel also worked for Ann. He was certified in all sorts of computer work and could run the Moonbase while she was away. And finally, Roseidous had his supermodel clones and his blow-up doll, Sally.

One day, in a temporary moment of insanity, Roseidous invited everyone over to the fortress to show off his new machine. Of course, the worst happened, and everyone ended up in his or her own alternate dimension. Yes, again. The separate universes broke down and combined into one. Roseidous found himself on a strange planet where the women were in charge. He, along with his fellow male prisoners, staged a rebellion and managed to escape. They all returned to the real world, which wasn't any better for Roseidous. At Roses' party, he was arrested and put on trial for certain crimes, best left unsaid. Luckily, the real culprit, Richard Simmons, was found and plead guilty. The group then got together for a campfire in the woods and shared made-up stories about their lives. Because, of course, they didn’t remember much of anything.

John then had his one, true, brilliant idea. He would create a video game called Crapomon and, through it, take over the world. He got help from Ian, Silent Jim, and his new ally named Ilinana. Ili was Fitey's evil, long-lost twin/split personality and she had five pets that could transform into any animal of their choice. Katherine also agreed to help John, but she and Fitey told the Tri-Leaders about the plan. The Tri-Leaders sent Holli, Tails, and Tyrael on a mission to stop John. They were caught. Ili went to pick up some water guns from Pam that could turn people into stone. She planned to shoot the Junior Tri-Leaders with them. But, the Junior Tri-Leaders escaped and John was the one turned to stone. Ian accidentally blew up the entire Crapomon supply, ruining the plan. Ilinana, as punishment, had to carry the stone-John around for a few months.

The Tri-Leaders celebrated their victory and happily flew off to Ann's Moonbase for Christmas. They exchanged presents, had some special eggnog, and surprisingly saved Christmas. After the New Year, Ili got the potion to un-freeze John. John had been thinking while he couldn’t move and had a new brilliant idea. He had to find the Tangerine Hologram Watch and ask it how to take over the world. The Tri-Leaders discovered his plan and hurried to stop him. Katherine also went along. The Annoying Parents kidnapped John before the Tri-Leaders could get there. Ian saved them, and it became a race to the Watch. John won and the Watch did tell him how to take over the world. Then he killed the Watch because he didn't want Roses to find out how to stop him.

Back on Earth, the other Tri-Leaders ignored the recent space adventure and planned a surprise party for Roseidous' birthday. They snuck into the Fortress and set everything up during the night. Holli, Tails, and Tyrael even kidnapped Sally. All of the associates arrived on time, and the party was a success. To celebrate the success, the Tri-Leaders immediately planned a surprise party for Holli. John found out that the Tri-Leaders were doing something, and assumed it was for his birthday. To appease him, the Tri-Leaders told him about Project X, Version One. On her birthday, Holli thought that everyone had forgotten about her. As a necessary distraction, Billy Jo took her driving for the first time in town. The Tri-Leaders, meanwhile, rounded up the associates and Pizza Boys, who already knew about the party, thanks to Sally's inability to keep a secret. Luckily, Holli didn’t find out and the party was a great surprise.

Later that month, Roses and Roseidous went to visit various people, but they didn’t know they would be in the same town. They might not have known it, but Holli and Tails did. The two girls set up the couple on a blind date. At the Chuck E. Cheese, the cashier gave the two Tri-Leaders a strange drink. In a drunken state, Roseidous proposed to Roses and she accepted. When they recovered from the drink, they figured a wedding wouldn’t be such a bad idea. By marrying each other, it would strengthen the power of the Tri-Leaders. Everyone helped to plan the wedding and the bridal shower. Tyrael was going to be the stripper, but Roseidous told him no. Ann unknowingly hired Ian to take his place. Tyrael became jealous and, with the help of a cartoon airplane named Jetter, he kidnapped Ian and Silent Jim and impersonated them. Tyrael also met John, Lord of Darkness (dramatic reverb), the other John's effeminate neighbor. Ian and Jim returned in time to appear at the bridal shower, expose Jetter's disguise, and find out the location of the wedding. Ann Chovi’s cousin Jan moved back to town. Ian and Jan's attempt to ruin the bachelor party failed when the boys went off to a stripper convention.

The wedding took place at the Viva Las Vegas Wedding Chapel. After getting lost, the boys finally arrived at the hotel and had to sneak in through the girls' room. Bubba completely wrecked the ceremony and they were kicked out. Roses was angry, but agreed to have the wedding in the alley next to the chapel. They actually went through with the marriage, much to everyone's surprise and despite John's attempts to stop it. Roseidous and Roses drove off for their honeymoon, a trip to the Newlywed Game Show. Before you ask, remember that Roses and Roseidous don’t remember that they’re brother and sister, and he was adopted anyway, so they’re not technically related. It’s okay.

Tails married Tyrael, Holli married Nothlit, and Ann married Todd, for some unknown reasons. The event is best left forgotten. They decided to be contestants on the same show. Katherine recruited OMEGA to be her partner for the game. John learned of the marriages and planned to ruin all of them. Probably the most brilliant idea he ever had. He kidnapped the host and took over the show. He revealed secrets that turned the couples against each other. But the Tri-Leaders tied him up and threw him in the coalmines. Everyone had the marriages annulled. Good idea.

The Tri-Leaders quickly grew tired of John stirring up trouble in the coalmines. They kicked him out and he returned to his cave. It was now time for him to fulfill the mission given to him by the Tangerine Hologram Watch. He would take over the world based on his favorite musical, Les Miserables. John set up a barricade at the Morphz message board, the same one run by the all-powerful Jeff. Katherine pretended to work for him, but really was sharing information with the Tri-Leaders. John revealed that he is her father. (He does know. Remember, Katherine was born after they lost their memories.) The Tri-Leaders went to Jeff's house to convince him to take charge and delete the barricade. He refused. Everyone realized this would be a real battle.

Later that day, the two sides gathered at the barricade. Katherine went to visit John's side, and Ian revealed that she was a traitor. The first round ended with a victory for John, his allies, and the freed coal miners. But not without losses. On the Tri-Leader side, several clones and associates had been frozen with the water guns and Sally was popped. On John's side, the Trix Rabbit died because of a stray Oreo. Early the next morning, both sides were ready for battle again. Just when it seemed that John would win, Jeff showed up with the Morphz boardies. They defeated John, and he went insane. Like he wasn't already.

To celebrate the victory, the Tri-Leaders took a vacation to Hawaii. They met up with the Pizza Boys who had moved to the islands. But someone else was on vacation, too. John was there. After taking some tours and visiting Katherine's house, everyone went to a teenage dance club. Two ex-clowns, George and Paul, owned the club. Roses wasn’t acting like herself the entire trip, and instead of standing her ground to fight with John at the club, she was prepared to take everyone home early. Before she could get to the door, a strange song played. It was the song of the Dance of Eternal Happiness, and they couldn't help but do the dance. All of their memories from EVIL elementary returned. Roses, Ann, Roseidous, and John realized they were related to each other.

Back home, John was still depressed from his loss at the barricade. He sent his allies to see what the Tri-Leaders were up to. The Tri-Leaders were planning a Prom. Roseidous accidentally sent Goober an invitation, and John found out. He threatened to invite people the Tri-Leaders hated unless they cancelled the dance. The Tri-Leaders attempted to get his only proof--the invitation--back. To do this, they called the Justice League. The League failed their mission, and the Tri-Leaders had to try something else to avoid Richard Simmons. Tyrael came up with the idea to actually invite John to the Prom. John accepted Holli as his date. Prom night went perfectly until Holli's prank humiliated John in front of everyone. He returned to his cave, determined to get revenge.

A few weeks later, Jeff showed up at Camp Milk and Cookies. Someone had taken away his control of Morphz, and they suspected that it was John. It was indeed John, who was moving to take over Albuquerque with his new army of Hot Dog Men. His secret plan was really to delete Albuquerque, which is the center of the universe. If he did this, it would negate all existence. His allies were horrified when they find out, and most abandoned him. The Justice League and the Pizza Boys figured out how to destroy the Hot Dog Men army. The Tri-Leaders arrived just in time for Jim to stop John. He returned to his normal self, if you could call that normal, and they welcomed in the New Year.

And since then, Roses thought to herself, things have been very quiet. The Tri-Leaders were positively bored. This is why she’d decided that they should go on another vacation.

She glanced at the clock. Five minutes until two. Time to go.

***

Two hours earlier, the other girls at the camp were indeed awake and packing their own things. Both of these girls were in their late-teens and, therefore, classified as ‘campers’ at Camp Milk and Cookies. Holli stood atop a ladder, looking as cute and innocent as she always did in her jeans and tank top. Her short, brown hair was tinted slightly red today. Tails stood at the bottom of the ladder, equally cute, but less innocent, in her all-black ensemble, complete with fake tattoo wrapped around her upper arm. Her blond hair was also hinting at red, a sure sign there had been some experimenting the night before.

“We should do something fun before we go!” Tails shouted at Holli, over the music.

“What?!” Holli shouted back, from somewhere near the ceiling.

“I said, we should do something fun!”

Holli shook her head yes and pried the last thumbtack out of the wall. A strand of Christmas lights fell into Tails’ waiting hands. The two girls were packing for their vacation, and, of course, the Christmas lights had to go with them.

“We should…..oh, I don’t know. Go wake up the boys?” Tails asked, hitting the pause button on the CD player.

Holli climbed down. “We do that all the time, though. What would make it more fun?”

“I dunno,” Tails shrugged, and then held up two strings of lights. “You want the fruit shaped ones or the multicolored flashing ones?”

Holli gestured at the multicolored lights and Tails tossed them towards a suitcase. “What to do…what to do…wait! I know! How about we wake them up, but then they can’t get up?”

“But why wouldn’t they be able to--oh, I see. That’s a very good idea, Holli. I’ll get the supplies out of the classroom and meet you there in five minutes?”

“Right. I’ll make sure Roses and Ann are busy.”

Six and a half minutes later, Tails joined Holli outside the boys’ cabin. She crouched down in the bushes under one of the windows and glanced at her friend, who glared. “Sorry, but I couldn’t find the extra set of handcuffs. I had to ask Vic where they where.”

“He’s here already? And he didn’t ask you why you needed them?”

“Yep, we should hurry. And no, he probably knows why.”

“Okay,” Holli cautiously stood up and peered in the window. “They’re both sleeping. Looks like it’s a go.”

Tails nodded and gave Holli one set of handcuffs. “Let’s do it!”

The two girls crawled through the bushes towards the front steps. Once there, Holli picked up the doormat and got the extra key. They shook their heads sadly and crept up the wooden steps. At the door, Holli carefully inserted the key and turned it. There was a small click as the door unlocked. Holli pocketed the key while Tails slowly turned the doorknob.

The door creaked a little, but not enough to disturb the two sleeping boys. The girls went inside, quickly shutting the door behind them. Without speaking, Tails went to the left, Tyrael’s half of the room, and Holli went the right, Roseidous’ half.

Tails approached the head of Tyrael’s bed while Holli stayed at Roseidous’ feet. An unspoken signal, and they grabbed their targets. Holli snapped her handcuffs around Roseidous’ ankle, and then around a bedpost. Tails did the same, using Tyrael’s wrist. Neither of the boys moved.

Tails looked disappointed and shrugged at Holli. Holli winked, took off her backpack, opened it up, and produced two balloons, seemingly full of water. Tails walked over to get one, and then resumed her post next to Tyrael. The two girls counted silently to three and threw the balloons at the sleeping boys.

The balloons exploded on contact, covering the boys and their beds not in water, but in green, lime Jell-o.

“EEEEE!!!!” Tyrael tried to sit up, but couldn’t, as his hand was attached to the post.

Roseidous also shrieked, but he managed to jump up. Unfortunately, he fell off the bed, his foot still caught up in the air. He looked around blindly, until he spotted Holli and Tails. “Not funny.”

“Yeah,” Tyrael agreed. “Let us go.”

“Let yourselves go,” Holli giggled, and tossed the keys to the handcuffs in the center of the floor, just out of both boys’ reach.

She and Tails rushed from the cabin. Tails stopped long enough to turn and say, “Roses wants us ready to leave in an hour. Don’t be late, or you know she’ll be mad!”

Laughing to themselves, the two girls leapt off the porch steps and ran for their cabin. However, they didn’t see the person walking towards the boys’ cabin and crashed right into her. All three tumbled to the ground.

“Ouch! Hey, watch it!” Katherine complained. “And get off of me!”

“Sorry, Katherine. Didn’t see you.” Tails climbed to her feet and extended a hand to help the younger girl stand up.

Katherine, now fourteen years old, pushed her short, black hair, inherited from her mother, out of her eyes. “Apparently,” she said, examining a possible grass stain. “And why were you in such a hurry to get away from Rosey and Ty?”

“Ah…well, let’s just say they’re…um…they’re covered in lime Jell-o and handcuffed to their own beds?” Holli shrugged.

“And you didn’t wait for me?!”

“We didn’t know you’d be here so early. But don’t worry,” Holli led the way back towards the girls’ cabin. “I’m sure we’ll have lots more fun on vacation. You are still going, aren’t you?”

“Roses made me a reservation. I’d hate to cancel.”

“Yeah, she wouldn’t be having with that.” Tails seemed to realize something and froze mid-step. “John doesn’t know about this, does he?”

“Nope. Not that he’d go anywhere near Disney World. Not after that Satannie thing, anyway.”

“What?”

“Never mind.”

***

“Can you reach it?” Tyrael peered down at Roseidous. “Because I can’t exactly use my hands.”

“You can use your feet. Kick it closer.” Roseidous stretched for the handcuff keys.

“I can’t reach it with my feet, either.”

“What are you doing?” Roseidous watched Tyrael twist around on the bed. “Your hand won’t come out of there.”

“Just hang on,” Tyrael told him.

Roseidous sighed and tried to drag himself and his bed closer to the keys. The bed moved a few centimeters. “This is not working.”

“Aha!” Tyrael said, triumphantly. He’d managed to turn his hand around in the handcuffs and stand up, still stuck to the bedpost. He used his free hand and the handcuffs to pull it across the floor and pick up the key. He unlocked himself, then Roseidous. “Probably best not to mention this to Roses or Ann. They’d only laugh.”

“Yes,” Roseidous nodded. “We’ll have to find some other way to get revenge.”

A few minutes later, both boys emerged from the cabin and headed for the showers. Ann met them on her way back from her own shower. She paused to stare at the green slime dripping onto the ground, but no one said a word. She just shook her head and kept walking.

***

“Bubba, I said no. You absolutely cannot sit by Vic or Murry. Don’t make me put a leash on you,” Roses threatened the giant penguin. He looked disappointed, but climbed onto the spaceship anyway, heading for his seat in the very back. “And don’t you dare touch the clones on your way to your chair!”

Roses looked down at her clipboard. “Vinnie, you sit next to Bubba, okay? I put the new, mini-tranquilizer gun under your seat if you need it.”

Vinnie tossed a few suitcases into the cargo hold and nodded.

“Whose are those?” Roses asked, staring at the stack of luggage. Vinnie had barely made a dent in the number of suitcases. “I thought I limited how much stuff people could bring.”

“Clones,” he said.

“Oh. Well, if it will make them shut up and not complain, I suppose.”

Roses surveyed the scene. The Tri-Leaders’ spaceship sat on the lawn in front of the kitchen, having been parked there by Al and Stan. They’d just arrived from Ann’s Moonbase and were, presumably, looking for her. They’d already been to the Fortress to pick up Roseidous’ clones. Everyone else was at Camp and were now boarding for the vacation. Vinnie took their suitcases and re-organized the cargo hold as Roses checked them off on her paper.

“How’s it going?” Ann walked up behind her with Al and Stan in tow. Al was carrying her two suitcases, which he promptly dropped for Vinnie.

“Great right now,” Roses answered. “Oh, and Al, you sit in front of Bubba, okay? Don’t let him get up during the trip.”

One of Al’s heads ignored her and frowned at the ever-present handheld poker game. The other saluted. “Yes, sir!”

“Taking all precautions? I don’t want to have to deal with Bubba on this flight.” Ann glanced over Roses’ shoulder at the clipboard.

“Yes, I have him sitting next to Vinnie and behind Al. I put Mr. Packard next to Al. Between the three of them, he should be fine.”

“Good. I know when we remodeled the spaceship, we made room for almost everyone, but it’ll be a long trip with all of us onboard. Oh, wait! We didn’t include Katherine when we counted new seats. What about her?”

“Already thought of that,” Roses waved at Mr. Packard, who had just pulled up in his mail truck. “I told Rosey he could only bring six clones; the rest have to stay at the Fortress.”

Ann raised her eyebrows. “How many of those things does he have now, anyway?”

“I have no idea. I’m afraid to ask.” Roses directed Mr. Packard to give his suitcase to Vinnie and told him where to sit. “Stan, you sit in front of Al. You can get along with Murry next to you, can’t you?”

Stan giggled and gestured at Ann. She sighed and dug around in her extra suitcase. She pulled out an entire box of Cheez Crackers for the ferret/weasel. Stan grabbed them and turned to shake his head enthusiastically at Roses. He ran aboard the spaceship, cackling to himself.

Roses looked at Ann. “It’s like taking care of a bunch of children, sometimes. Honestly.”

“If it makes them happy and keeps them quiet, then by all means, do it.” Ann said.

“I agree.”

“Good *&%$ afternoon!” a skull floated up to Roses, red light glowing from somewhere inside.

“Yes, good afternoon, Murry. Glad to see you’ve been practicing your people skills.”

“I try.”

“You are going to behave on this trip, aren’t you?”

“Why wouldn’t I? Who am I sitting next to?”

“Stan. And in front of Mr. Packard. And behind some clones, who have been instructed to ignore you. No flying around to talk to Bubba or Vic, understand me? I’ll stop the spaceship and put you off at the nearest gas station. I mean it.”

“You are no @#$% fun.”

“Yes, thank you, Murry. Onboard the ship, please.”

“He’s hopeless,” said a voice from somewhere around Roses’ feet.

She looked down at the garden gnome. “Yes, Vic, I know. But we can’t get rid of him; he manages the coal mines so well. First seat to your left, in front of the clones.”

Vic frowned, but he climbed the stairs. Billy Jo followed him, after dropping a bag of extra video camera batteries for Vinnie to load in the cargo hold.

Roses looked at her watch. “Three minutes ‘til two. They’d best be here on time.”

“Yeah, for everyone’s sanity.” Ann mumbled.

“What?”

“Nothing. I’m going to go warm up the ship.” Ann headed for the pilot’s chair.

As soon as she’d gone, the three younger girls ran up to Roses, suitcases in hand. Roses greeted them cheerfully, told Katherine that she was glad to see her, and pointed them to their normal seats. Katherine took the one behind Tails. Roses stared at her watch again and tapped her foot impatiently. Thirty seconds to go before the whip had to be pulled out.

“Fifteen…fourteen…thirteen…twelve…elev…”

“Wait for us!” Roseidous shouted, sprinting across the grass. He had a suitcase in one hand and his plastic blow-up doll, Sally, in the other. Tyrael rushed behind him, holding his suitcase as well as Sally’s. “Don’t leave us!”

After their shower, they looked considerably better than their Jell-o covered counterparts. Tyrael, the same age as Holli, had shaggy brown hair that Holli kept trying to convince him to let her trim. He was always trying to avoid her and Tails, who had gotten him into this mess in the first place. He wasn’t quite sure yet that he was evil enough to help take over the world (or that he was evil at all), but he was definitely sure that he wouldn’t be able to run away. They’d catch him and tie him to a tree.

Roseidous, on the other hand, was perfectly confident about everything. A year younger than his adoptive twin sisters, he had perfectly kept light brown hair, of which he was very proud. Roseidous’ favorite person in the world was, of course, Roseidous, and he made sure that he looked the best. He also surrounded himself by the best-looking people-namely his supermodel clones and Sally, the love of his life.

“We’re not late, are we?” Tyrael asked, hopefully. “We had to take showers.”

“Hmph,” Roses said, noting their still-damp hair. “That’s probably a good thing. You made it.”

Vinnie crammed the last suitcases in the ship and nodded to Roses. She followed him onboard and stood next to the co-pilot’s seat.

“Okay, people. I’m going down the list now, deal with it,” Roses told them, holding up a hand against the protests. “I’m going down my right side and back up the left. Respond when I call your names. Ann!”

“Who else would be sitting here?”

“Tails!”

“Here!”

“Katherine!”

“I think you are insane.”

“Sally!”

Nothing.

“Billy Jo!”

“Squeak!”

“You three clones, whichever ones you are.” Roses looked up. “Oh, Carmen Electra, Tyra Banks, and Cindy Crawford.”

“Here!” they chorused in response.

“Murry!”

“(*$%!!”

“Mr. Packard!”

“Here, ma’am!”

“Vinnie!”

A vague hand wave.

“Now back down the left side. Bubba!”

“QUACK!!”

“Thanks for your enthusiasm. Al!”

“Sir!”

“Stan!”

Giggles.

“The other three clones! Um…Claudia Schiffer, Naomi Campbell, and Heidi Klum.”

“Here!”

“Vic.”

Some grumbling.

“Roseidous!”

“I didn’t do…wait…what?”

“That will do. Tyrael!”

“Here. I guess.”

“Holli!”

“Present!”

“And I’m here!” Roses turned to Ann. “Ready when you are.”

“Oh, good. That’s over with.” Ann flipped a few switches and the spaceship lifted off. It hovered for a few minutes over the camp, and then Ann pressed the red button. It shot forwards, heading for the east coast.

POP!!!

“Tails! You popped Sally!” Roseidous leapt from his seat to pull out the safety pin Tails had thrown at the doll. “Tyrael! Where’s that repair kit? Hurry!”

‘It’s in her suitcase, Rosey.”

“But that’s in the cargo hold! Stop the spaceship!!!”

Holli and Tails laughed while Katherine shook her head. “She’ll be okay until we get there, I’m sure.”

“Murry’s looking at me!” one of the clones complained. “He’s creepy.”

“I’ll show you @#$% creepy!” Murry shouted.

“You shut up and leave them alone!” Vic yelled. “I’m not dealing with you this whole week!”

“You wanna make me shut up, garden fairy?”

“What did you call me?!”

“You ^&*(#$ heard me!”

“You want to come up here and say that?!”

“Yeah, I’ll come up there and say it! Bubba, back me up here!” Murry glared at Vic.

“Quack!” the penguin started to stand up.

“Um. That’s not a good idea, Bubba,” Mr. Packard said, soothingly.

“Yo! Bubba! Some help up here!” Murry’s eyes started to glow red.

“Quack!!!”

Al jumped in front of Bubba and blocked the aisle. “You shall not pass!”

“QUACK!”

BANG.

Silence, as Bubba slowly fell on top of Al, knocking the robot to the floor. Behind him, Vinnie put down the tranquilizer gun.

“A little help? Maybe?” Al asked, from somewhere under Bubba.

“At least it’s only an hour cross-country flight.” Roses grinned at Ann. “Disney World, here we come!”

***

“So wait. How come the airport officials let us park the spaceship here?” Tails asked Roses. “It doesn’t seem like they’d be used to spaceships.”

“Oh. We paid for our own hangar for the week,” Roses answered.

“They rent hangars?”

“They rented one to me.” Roses shrugged, as if that explained everything.

“I see.”

The Tri-Leaders and associates had just parked the spaceship and unloaded their suitcases. Ann and Mr. Packard were off getting their rented transportation to the hotels. Roseidous alternated between glaring at Tails and using the portable air pump to re-inflate Sally, but otherwise everyone was concentrating on staying as far away from each other as possible. Or, mostly as far away from Bubba as possible. He’d just woken up and seemed to be confused.

Twenty minutes later, a horn honked outside the hangar and there was a rush for the door.

“Cool!” Holli pronounced.

Ann was seated behind the steering wheel of a bus. Not a van or a school bus, but a luxury rental bus, complete with bathroom, intercom, and TV system. And it was purple. She seemed happy.

After a frantic few minutes of re-loading the luggage and settling into the same assigned seats, they were on the interstate, headed for their hotels. They followed the purple and pink signs towards the park entrance. Roses, trying to figure out how to work the intercom to make an important announcement, almost missed the correct exit.

“Right! Go right!” she shrieked.

Ann turned the wheel, almost taking out a family in a minivan, and barely making it onto the exit ramp. “That sign said nothing about the All-Star Resorts.”

“Yes, but you have to follow the Animal Kingdom signs to get to the All-Star Resorts.”

“That makes no sense whatsoever.”

“I know, but that’s how it is.” Roses pushed another button and tried again. “Test, test….ooooh, it works! Attention everyone!”

There was a chorus of groans from the rest of the group.

“Shut up, it makes me a happier person to deal with. Ann, turn left at the bottom of the hill. Okay. Now, to your right, you will see the All-Star Sports Resort. Note the giant cups of Coca-Cola and the footballs and hockey sticks. Those are the stairwells for the buildings. Aren’t they great?”

“Yeah, sure,” Katherine mumbled.

“None of us are staying at Sports, though. Ann, pull into the next driveway.”

Ann stopped at the security checkpoint. Roses gave her some papers, she showed them to the guard, and he gave them a parking pass for the week and waved them through. From the main entrance, they could see giant stereo speakers and bright, neon green bongo drums attached to the buildings.

“First stop! All-Star Music Hotel! Tails, Katherine, and Vic, this is where you are staying. Here is a folder of information for you; I highly suggest you read it. That’s not an optional suggestion, either. We will see you tomorrow!” Roses gave them a bright yellow folder and they waved at the bus as it pulled away.

“Go right and then on to the next driveway, please Ann. That is the All-Star Movies Resort. Holli, Vinnie, and Billy Jo, here is your folder.” Roses waited at the front entrance for them to climb off the bus before directing Ann back onto the interstate.

“Where next?” Ann asked.

Roses consulted the nearest sign. “Second left.”

The bus followed a winding road that lead to the main Disney World Resorts. First in line was the Polynesian Resort, a group of buildings with bright orange geometric patterns painted on the sides and tropical gardens behind them.

“Tyrael and Mr. Packard, this is your resort.” Roses left them with yet another yellow folder.

Ann continued on the road to the impressive, Victorian-style Grand Floridian Resort. Its bright, white walls and windows were almost blinding in the late afternoon sun.

“This is the best one, right? It’s my stop?” Roseidous stared out the window.

“Yes, Rosey, you, Sally, and the clones are staying here. Enjoy.” Roses gestured for them to get off the bus.

“Where’s my folder?” Roseidous turned back to ask while the clones searched for someone to carry all of their bags to the room.

“You’d only lose it if I gave one to you. I’ll call you later. Just don’t go anywhere that I can’t find you.” Roses smiled and shut the doors.

“I have a question,” Ann navigated the bus around the driveway and turned onto the road. “What will the staff think about the clones? I mean, won’t they recognize them?”

“Oh, that. I’ve instructed the staff to be very discreet. There are no celebrities anywhere in that hotel.” Roses winked. “And, technically, that is the truth.”

“Indeed.” Ann waited for a stoplight to change to green and drove down a smaller, twisting road that seemed to lead into the woods. “Are you sure this is right?”

“Yep. My hotel is way out here, away from all the others.” Roses sighed happily as the Wilderness Lodge came into view, hidden amongst the trees. “It’s a giant log cabin. And see the lake? It’s just like home, but nicer. With people to make your bed for you.”

“Well, here you are.”

“Thanks. And here is your folder,” Roses got out the last one. “Bubba, Murry, get out, you’re with me. Ann, if you follow the road back the way we came and turn right at the stoplight, your hotel is at the end of the road. You, Al, and Stan are at the Contemporary Resort. They have a parking place reserved for you. And read that folder!”

“Got it.” Ann waved and pulled away.

Roses picked up her suitcase, turned to the front door, and smiled. “This is going to be great.”

“Roses, tell Bubba not to look at me like that. I’ll @#$% kill him!”

Roses’ smile faded and she glared at both of them. “Murry, I don’t want to hear about it. You and Bubba have separate rooms and I will not hesitate to send either of you home if I need to. So you shut up, both of you, and I mean right now. You will not ruin this vacation, do you understand me?”

“Well then. Yes @#$%8 ma’am,” Murray also glared.

Bubba looked sheepish. “Quack.”

“Good. Bubba, you go and hide behind that tree to your right. Murray, you get under those bushes. I’ll come back out and find you after I check in.”

***

“…that is the Broadway Building, rooms 2056 and 2057. And you can take the hall at the end of the lobby,” the receptionist told Tails. “The bus stops are all to the left and the cafeteria is to the right. Go out the right door and follow the paths to your building.”

“Thanks!” Tails took the room cards from the woman and walked back to the bench Katherine and Vic were waiting on.

They gathered up their stuff again and headed for building number seven. Which was, of course, in the very back corner, past both swimming pools and all of the other themed buildings.

“At least it’s not the country music themed building,” Katherine pointed at the three-story-tall cowboy boots that served as stairwells for building five. “There are neon lights on those things.”

“Yeah, but it figures that it had to be the last one,” Vic grumbled.

“There has to be a reason Roses didn’t put us in the first building,” Tails argued.

“Besides the fact that it’s Calypso-themed?”

“Yeah, besides that.”

“Hey, cool, look!” Katherine indicated the street sign in the middle of the sidewalk. “It says Broadway.”

“And look at that,” Tails stared. “That has got to be our building.”

They were approaching two buildings with top hats and canes attached to the sides. The center of each building had what seemed to be a theater entrance. A ticket counter sat in the middle while huge posters of Broadway shows filled the walls. Wings of hotel rooms stretched out to either side.

“I bet this all lights up at night,” Tails nodded. “And now you see why Roses put us here. This is the best theme.”

“Well, come on. Let’s go upstairs.” Katherine headed inside with Vic.

“Oh, and don’t forget, we have to read our folder first!” Tails followed.

***

“Thanks for carrying all that stuff, Vinnie,” Holli said. “I don’t know why Roses put us way back here in Building Seven.”

She, Vinnie, and Billy Jo had just taken the elevator up to their rooms in the Love Bug themed building. There were racing flags and giant, plastic tires affixed to all three floors of the hotel.

Billy Jo pointed the camera at Holli. “Squeaker squeaker squeaken squeak?”

“No, Billy Jo, I don’t think it says anything about my obsession with driving, thank you very much. But it is great. And do you have to film everything?”

“Squeak!”

“Okay, whatever. You are staying in here, aren’t you? I can put up your tree thing in the corner. So Vinnie can have his own room?”

Billy Jo nodded. Vinnie didn’t say anything, but moved to close the door between the adjoining rooms.

“Wait!” Holli ordered. “We have to read what Roses gave us, remember?”

***

“How come we have to share a room? I doubt that everyone else is sharing.” Tyrael asked. “I mean, I’m not complaining, mind you, but I just wanted to know.”

“Well,” Mr. Packard tossed his suitcase on one of the beds and unzipped it. “I imagine that Roses didn’t want either of us staying with one of the girls, for our own safety.”

Tyrael grinned. “True.”

“And I also imagine that she had to get three rooms at the hotel where Roseidous, Sally, and the clones are staying, because you know they’re staying at the same one. No one else would stay with them. So she had to save a room somewhere.”

“You make a lot of sense. More sense than anyone else, most of the time.”

“I like to think so. For some reason, no one ever listens to me.”

“That’s what I’m saying! No one ever wants to hear what we think. They prefer to live in their crazy, mixed-up minds instead of listening to sanity. I mean, they employ penguins!”

“I know.”

“Anyway. You wanna read it first?” Tyrael offered the folder to Mr. Packard, who was hanging up his shirts in the closet.

“Nah, go ahead. I’m going to sit on the balcony. We have a view of the tropical gardens, did you know? And we can see our private beach from here, too. Good for checking out the ladies.”

***

“What. Is. That?” Ann demanded, staring at the elevators in her hotel.

A giant mural masked the elevators. There were smiling, laughing children dressed in costumes of various cultures. Very bright costumes. As she, Al, and Stan considered it, the monorail zipped through the center of the hotel, passing over their heads, and startling them all.

“Incoming!” Al shouted, shoving Ann to the floor.

“Um. Al?”

“Sir?”

“I think that was supposed to happen.”

“Right, sir!”

“You can get off me now.”

“Yes, sir!”

Al pulled Ann back to her feet and she looked around for Stan. “Stan, get out of the flower pot. Roses would have to give us the space-age-themed resort. At least Al looks like he’s part of the decoration. Come on.”

They took the elevator to the top floor and Ann pulled out the room key. It slid into the white door and Ann pushed it open.

Ann frowned. “Huh. I actually expected it to slide into the wall or something equally dumb. That’s almost disappointing. Al, bring my bags inside here and leave me that folder. You and Stan are next door.”

***

Dear Tri-Leaders and Associates,

Welcome to Disney World, the happiest place on Earth!

Like I said, you must read the information in this folder. It is essential for you to know the schedule and other necessary facts about our stay here.

First of all, you must be successfully checked into your rooms by now. I hope they are to your liking, as I picked them personally. If not, be sure to let someone at the front desk know.

Instructions for tonight: You are to remain at your hotels. Do not leave them, unless you are Katherine, Holli and Tails, in which case your buildings are only across the parking lot from each other (go out the back door). Dining facilities are located at each hotel. I highly recommend the cheesecake. There are also gift shops and heated swimming pools at each resort, along with an arcade. Do NOT let Al see the arcade; we don’t have time for that. If you only wish to stay in your room, you do get cable and there is a pizza delivery service for the resorts.

Notes about your room keys: There is no money in your folders. That is because you can use your room key to charge anything to your room. Do not abuse this privilege, or it will be taken away from you. I can promise that.

Otherwise, enjoy your stay. Here is our schedule for the week, and we will be keeping it: No exceptions.

Sunday:
4:00 to 5:00 pm-arrive at resorts and check in.
Remain at resorts for the rest of the evening

Monday:
5:30 am-wake up call (except Ann’s at 6:00)
6:30 am-take the buses, ferries, and monorails to the central
terminal (except Ann). Meet Roses at the ferry landing
6:45 am-take the monorail to the Contemporary Resort
6:50 am-meet in front of the elevators on the fourth floor
(THAT MEANS YOU, ANN!!)
7:00 am to 8:30 am-attend character breakfast at Chef Mickey’s
8:45 am-take monorail to Magic Kingdom
9:00 am-9:00 pm-Enjoy the Magic Kingdom!
9:00pm-meet in front of ice cream shop for electric parade and
fireworks
9:45 pm-take transportation back to central terminal
10:00 pm-take transportation back to resorts

Tuesday:
9:00 am- wake-up call
10:00 am-take the buses, etc. from your resorts to the central
terminal.
10:30 am-meet Roses at the ferry landing
10:45 am-take the monorail to EPCOT “Experimental Prototype
Community Of Tomorrow,” in case you need to know
11:00 am to 9:00 pm-Enjoy EPCOT
9:00 pm-meet at main fountain for water show
9:30 pm-take monorail back to central terminal
9:45 pm-take the transportation to your resorts

Wednesday:
10:00 am-wake up call
11:00 am-take transportation to the central terminal
11:15 am-meet at ferry landing
11:30 am-take buses to MGM Studios
12:00 pm to 8:45 pm-enjoy MGM Studios!
8:45 pm-meet at the entrance to the Tower of Terror
9:00 pm-attend Fantasmic show
9:45 pm-take transportation to central terminal
10:00 pm-take transportation back to resorts

Thursday:
8:30 am-wake up call
9:30 am-take transportation to central terminal
9:45 am-meet at ferry landing
10:00 am-take transportation to Disney’s Animal Kingdom
10:15 am to 8:00 pm-enjoy Animal Kingdom!
8:15 pm-take transportation back to central terminal
8:30 pm-take transportation back to resorts

Friday:
Sleep in!
12:00 pm-wake up call
1:00 pm-take transportation to central terminal
1:15 pm-meet at ferry landing
1:30 pm-take transportation to Downtown Disney
1:45 pm to 6:00 pm-enjoy Downtown Disney
6:15 pm-meet at Rainforest Café for dinner reservations
7:15 pm-take transportation back to central terminal
7:30 pm-take transportation back to resorts

Saturday:
Free day!

Sunday:
8:00 am-wake up call
9:00 am-pack your suitcases; return keys to front desk
9:15 am-Ann , Al, and Stan will leave Contemporary Resort
9:25 am-Ann picks up Roses, Bubba, and Murry
9:35 am-Ann picks up Roseidous, Sally, and clones
9:40 am-Ann picks up Tyrael and Mr. Packard
9:50 am-Ann picks up Tails, Katherine, and Vic
9:55 am-Ann picks up Holli, Vinnie, and Billy Jo
10:00 am-travel to airport
10:30 am-take spaceship back to camp

***

There was a knock at the door. Holli stopped flipping channels on her TV and got up to answer. Upon opening it, she came face to face with Tails and Katherine.

“Hey!” Tails grinned. “This is why Roses gave us rooms way in the back. They really are just across the parking lot. We saw you come in from our window.”

“Perfect for flashing our lights and talking in Morse code at night,” Holli also grinned and moved aside to let them into the room.

“We can’t use Morse code!” Katherine protested. “Vinnie can understand it. So why don’t we just use the telephones-no wait, they could be bugged.”

“Yeah, Roses is probably making someone monitor what we do,” Tails sighed.

“Tell me about it!” Holli agreed. “Have you seen our schedule? Aren’t we on vacation?”

“Yeah,” Katherine said. “It’s like we’re in prison. Or school.”

“Maybe it could be fun. We’ll see,” Tails searched through the bedside tables. “You have all the same stuff we do. How unoriginal. Want to call for a pizza?”

The other two shrugged.

“It won’t be Pizza Boy delivery, but it’ll do. Maybe the delivery person will be a cute guy,” Holli said.

“Then we can go swimming or something,” Katherine suggested. “Our hotel pool is heated. It is-sadly-shaped like a guitar, but what can you do?”

“I think we should go get Tyrael to swim with us.” Tails nodded.

“Do you know which hotel he’s staying in?”

Tails frowned. “No. She didn’t tell us. I wonder why.”

“We could go look in them all.”

“I like the way you think, Holli. We certainly could. Even if we’re not supposed to. Just don’t tell Vinnie.”

“He wouldn’t care, I don’t think. Only let’s not look in the one that’s supposed to be a giant log cabin. You know she’s in there. She’d have to be.”

“Right.”

***

“Sally, we have landed in heaven,” Roseidous told his blow-up doll. “Roses definitely made the right choice for our hotel.”

He carried the doll through the hotel lobby, towards the check-in desk. The ceiling of the lobby itself was open up to the fourth floor. High above his head, ornate, decorative chandeliers illuminated the antique, Victorian furniture. Groups of very comfortable-looking sofas were arranged around coffee tables and elaborate rugs. Visitors could sit here and listen to a live pianist in the center of the room. Or the live band, currently playing next to the restaurant doors on the balcony of the second floor.

The registration desk was tucked into a back corner, as not to intrude on the grandeur of the rest of the resort.

“I’m here to check-in!” Roseidous told the woman at the counter.

She blinked for a moment at the doll under his arm, “Um, yes, of course, sir. What’s the name?”

“Roseidous J. Moonn.”

She typed something into the computer. “Here you are. You have reservations for yourself and two other rooms?”

“Yes,” he looked back at the supermodel clones, who were thanking the boys they’d found to carry the luggage. “I’m with them.”

“Oh!” she leaned forward to whisper. “I assure you that the staff will be very discreet about your visit. None of the other guests will bother you or your um…friends.”

“Great! So what kinds of special stuff do I get?”

“You mean, what services do we offer?”

“Yeah, that.”

She pulled out some brochures for him. “You can schedule any kind of appointment in our spa. Manicure, pedicure, facial, mud bath, that kind of thing. We have a hair salon, too. There’s a private beach for our guests. There are two swimming pools. You can play golf on our private course. And, of course, restaurants, room delivery, and gift shops for all your needs.”

“Really?”

“Yes, sir.”

“I will definitely look into all of that. This is going to be so much better than that last vacation. As long as there are no clowns around,” he gave the woman a suspicious look. “There aren’t any clowns, are there?”

“Um, I don’t believe there are.”

“Good. Now, which way to my room?”

***

“Okay, go!”

Three girls and a squirrel broke out of the perfectly trimmed hedges and raced down the street.

“Left! Car!” Holli shouted from the lead.

They all dove back into the next row of hedges.

“This is stupid,” Katherine untangled some leaves from her hair. “Why don’t we just walk up to the building, go in the front door, and ask? And must you film all of this?”

Billy Jo squeaked.

“It would be easier than trying to commando roll through their bushes, climb to the roof, break in, and find a computer to hack into,” Holli conceded.

“Yeah, I guess,” Tails stood up. “But not as much fun. And before we go through all the trouble, didn’t Roses say that no one was staying in the All-Star Sports hotel?”

“She could have been lying to protect the innocent. Or well, Tyrael and Mr. Packard,” Holli said and then sighed. “Inside, I guess.”

They walked the rest of the way to the main lobby of the Sports hotel. The sliding doors opened to allow them into a lobby exactly like the ones at their respective resorts. Luckily, there was no line at Guest Relations, and the three girls crowded around the desk and the employee sitting behind it.

He smiled. “How can I help you, ladies?”

“We’re having a family reunion here at Disney World,” Tails lied. “And we’re supposed to be meeting with our cousins.”

“Yeah,” Katherine caught on to the plan. “But we don’t know if they checked in yet or not. Can you tell us?”

“Please?” Holli batted her eyelashes.

“Well, I’m not really supposed to, but you look like you could use some help. And they are your family, after all. What’s the last name?”

Holli thought fast. “Check under Moonn. That’s with two O’s and two N’s.”

“Are you sure?” Tails glanced at her.

“Yes. Aunt Roses and Aunt Ann should have checked in first.”

“Oh, right.”

The employee typed something and then shook his head. “Sorry, girls, but it doesn’t look like your aunts are staying at this hotel. Could it be under a different name?”

“Um…try Packard,” Tails told him, flashing a charming smile.

“Oh, is Uncle Hewlett coming this year?” Holli asked, innocently.

“Hewlett Packard?” Katherine muttered.

“He is!” Tails said to Holli and then turned to Katherine to whisper, “Do you know his real first name?”

She shrugged.

“Nope, nothing under Packard, either.”

“Wait, I got it!” Katherine said. “Cousin Tyrael is the one staying here. He sent me that email yesterday.”

“Oh, of course. I was thinking the wrong set of aunts and uncles,” Holli pretended to be confused. “Sorry, sir. Look under Knoteville.”

They waited a few seconds, but the employee shook his head again. “Are you sure your family was staying at this hotel? I’m sorry you all got your messages confused. Maybe they meant All-Star Music or Movies?”

“No,” Tails pretended to pout. “I’m sure someone said Sports. But never mind. We’ll just go call them or something.”

“I’m very sorry I couldn’t do anything for you. I hope you find your family.”

“Thanks,” Katherine said. “Oh, by the way, if we find out they’re staying at one of the other resort areas, like maybe the cabin-resort-thing, how would we get there?”

“You mean the Wilderness Lodge, right? At least I can help you with that problem! You would go left at the end of the lobby here and take the bus to the central transportation area at the Magic Kingdom. From there you can catch the boat to the Wilderness Resort or the monorail to the other ones.”

“Ah. Thanks. Can you only get to the Wilderness place by boat?”

“From there, it’s the easiest way.”

“Does it cost money?” Holli asked.

“Nope. All our transportation is free for our guests. Buses run every ten minutes or so.”

Tails nodded. “You have been a great help.”

The girls turned and walked away, back towards the main doors.

“Think Roses paid him to lie?” Holli asked.

“Nah,” Tails said. “He’s probably not capable of it. Why are they so nice and cheerful?”

“It’s brainwashing,” Katherine said. “The MIWC do it.”

“You think maybe Roses has the boys using an alias?” Holli thought.

“Perhaps. But we’ll hunt them down eventually. We always do. Come on, Billy Jo.” Tails gestured for the squirrel hidden in the bushes to follow them towards the bus stop.

***

“Ty!” Tails grinned.

“Mr. Packard!” Holli said.

“Um, hi?” Tyrael said cautiously, peering up and down the hallway. “Are you supposed to be here?”

“No,” Holli shoved her way past him and into their room. “Cool! You have a balcony!”

“So how did you get here, then?” Mr. Packard asked.

“Well,” Tails sat down on the bed. “Don’t mention anything to Roses about the monorail driver missing some stops, the accident with the cleaning supplies in the Grand Floridian lobby, or the misheard lyrics on the bus sing-a-long.”

“Ah. I see.”

“You don’t want to know more than that,” Katherine advised.

“Where are your other roommates?” Tyrael asked. “Like, maybe Vic? Or even better, Vinnie?”

“Billy Jo said he was tired and didn’t want to follow us around. But as for the others, I don’t know. Maybe sleeping?” Tails shrugged and turned on the TV. They all stared for a minute. Tails thought about it. “Um…is this Rush My Hour?”

“No!” Tyrael and Mr. Packard both said, a little too loudly.

“It is!” Holli shrieked. “You were watching it!”

“I’ll have you know that we most certainly were not!” Mr. Packard denied.

“And besides,” Tyrael added helpfully, “It’s the third movie in the trilogy. Rush My Hour In Miami.”

“Yeah, like that makes a difference,” Katherine gave up trying to figure out what exactly was happening on the screen. “So are we going or not?”

“Going where?” Mr. Packard asked, cautiously.

“Swimming, of course!”

“Um…”

Holli smiled. “I saw a beach from the balcony. We don’t even have to go back to our hotel.”

“Don’t you need...um…bathing suits?” Tyrael seemed slightly worried.

“We’re already wearing them, silly!” Tails stripped off her shirt. “Now, go put yours on. We’re not leaving until we get to swim. Even if we have to stay all night.”

***

Ring, ring…ring, ring…rin-

“Hello?” Roses picked up the phone.

A high-pitched giggle came from the receiver, followed by, “Good morning, Walt Disney World guest! This is Mickey Mouse, giving you a wake-up call! The time is-“

Roses slammed the phone down and put her pillow over her head. Then she laughed. “Ann is so going to hate me what that wakes her up.”

“I’m sure we’ll all have to hear about it later,” Murry said from his place atop the lamp. The real lampshade sat on the floor under him.

“Morning, Murry.” Roses removed the pillow and rolled over.

“Yeah, whatever. Can I wake up Bubba?”

“Absolutely not.”

“But-“

“No.” Roses got up and rummaged through her bag for shampoo. “I know what you can do, though. Get Roseidous on the phone for me; his room number is in that top drawer. I want to talk to him.”

“You’re letting me use the phone?”

Roses paused. “No prank calls or it’s coming out of your salary.”

“Well, *(&#$ @#$ then!”

“Thank, you Murry.”

***

At precisely six-fifteen, Roses stepped onto the ferry landing at the main terminal. The ride across the lake had been quite enjoyable. Bubba and Murry followed her. The entrance to Disney World was directly in front of them, but the park wasn’t open yet. The sun was shining, the sky was blue, and it was going to be a warm day, although not hot. Perfect.

“Morning!” Tails called, waving from other side of the barrier.

“Good morning,” Roses stepped through the gate. “You’re early. No trouble getting here, I assume?”

“Nope, we just took the bus. Vinnie said we had to leave early, just in case we ended up in the wrong place. But I told him we wouldn’t.”

“Vinnie isn’t staying at your…oh, all of you All-Star people rode together?”

“Yep. The same bus stopped at both of our hotels. You’re early, too.” Tails led the way over to where the others had found shade under a small tree.

“I’m early because I have to go pick up Rosey on the monorail. You all can ride with me or wait here if you want. We’ll have to come back through here anyway to get to the Contemporary Resort. And to pick up Tyrael and Mr. Packard.”

“Sure, we’ll ride!” Holli said and they all headed towards the monorail stop.

Roses, the two Junior Tri-Leaders, five Associates, and Katherine piled into one of the monorail cars. Their train stopped briefly at the Polynesian Resort on its way to the Grand Floridian. Tyrael and Mr. Packard were standing on the platform.

Tails waved them into the car.

“The main stop is the other way,” Katherine pointed out. “The way we just came from.”

“Yes, but doesn’t the monorail turn around and go back that way after the last stop?” Tyrael asked.

“It’s a good thing we found you,” Holli ignored him. “You would have been lost.”

“Right,” he shrugged.

Roseidous was waiting for them at the Grand Floridian station. The clones, all wearing white, filed on, followed by Roseidous. He carried Sally, who wore a pink shirt reading “Princess” in sparkly letters, obviously from the gift shop. Roses shook her head.

“Morning, Rosey!” Tails smiled, making room for him on the blue, plastic bench next to her. The second he sat down, she whipped out a safety pin and jabbed it into Sally’s leg. The air started whistling out.

“No!” Roseidous yelled. “Cwap! I left the repair kit in the room today! Anyone have any tape? Holli?”

“Nope, sorry Rosey. Didn’t bring it.”

“Ack!” he glanced around frantically, looking for a solution.

Katherine grabbed the plastic doll and tied her rapidly deflating leg into a knot above the leak. Sally’s leg dangled, airless, but the rest of her remained inflated. She handed the doll back to Roseidous. “There! She’s saved!”

Roses and Tyrael glanced at each other, trying not to smile. Holli, Katherine, Tails, and most of the associates had already dissolved into laughter. Even Vinnie looked vaguely amused. Bubba quacked helpfully.

“Now I’m going to have to rent a wheelchair for her! See what you’ve done? I’ll have to push it around all day and---wait! I’ll get to go to the front of the lines! Some good will come of this!”

Before Roseidous could continue about his change of luck, the monorail stopped at the Contemporary Resort. The group exited onto the second floor and walked to the elevators. The clones led the way, along with Roseidous and Sally. Tyrael was next, followed closely by Katherine, Holli, and Tails. Holli got some rope out of her pocket and gestured at his back. Roses put her hand out to stop the girls from causing trouble. She was holding Vic to keep people from being too suspicious. Bubba trailed along behind her. Keeping a close eye on Bubba, Vinnie talked to Mr. Packard and held on to a cursing Murry at the same time. Billy Jo was last, the camera filming everything.

They paid no attention to the other people waiting for the monorail.

“Hey, Mommy!” a little boy pointed at them. “Look at that penguin! Is he from Mary Poppins? Can I get his autograph?”

His mother watched the group and grabbed his hand. “Um…no, dear. We’ll get his autograph in the park, later. Okay?”

“We can’t all fit in one,” Holli said, arriving at the bank of elevators.

“Nah.” Roses put Vic down and walked into the open door. “We’ll go ahead with the clones and the rest of the Associates will follow in the next one. Come on.”

Ding! The elevator door closed, they rose up, and it re-opened to deposit them on the fourth floor landing.

“I hate you.” Ann glared.

“I knew you’d say that.”

“He giggled at me!”

“I thought it was cute,” Holli said.

“It was not cute,” Ann yawned. “What time is it?”

“Five ‘til seven. AM.”

“Is that a real time?”

“What?”

“Nothing. Where are the rest of them?”

“Next elevator.” Roses gestured backwards.

“Was that the best idea?”

On cue, the elevator door opened again. An unconscious Bubba fell out. Vinnie was just putting away the tranquilizer darts. As he couldn’t carry around a gun, Roses told him to just carry around the darts in his pocket and stab the penguin himself. If security didn’t see you with any bags, they didn’t subject you to any kind of search. Vinnie climbed over the penguin, followed by an angry Murry and Mr. Packard, who was holding Vic.

“Well,” Roses thought aloud. “At least the all-you-can-eat buffet won’t have to deal with Bubba.”

“Right. Speaking of which, I’m hungry.” Roseidous sniffed. “And it smells good up here. Where’s the restaurant?”

“Chef Mickey’s is just down this hall. Vinnie, Mr. Packard, hide Bubba in the bathroom. The rest of you follow me.” Roses marched down the corridor and up to the woman who was responsible for reservations.

“Good morning! How can I help you?”

“Yes, we have a reservation for-“ Roses counted to herself. “-fifteen. It should be under the name Tri-Leaders.”

The woman consulted her list and then looked up. She stared at the non-human members of the group. “Oh, so you’re that technology convention! Are these your prototype robots? They’re so lifelike!”

“Yes, but please don’t touch. We’d hate for something to happen to them.” Roses told her.

“No, we won’t touch them. The staff knows you’re bringing them here as your trial run. We hope to employ robots some day ourselves.” She reached under her podium and produced a box. “Here are your identification tags for the week. You have priority in all of the lines. Would you like your complimentary picture taken before you eat?”

“Yes, please,” Roses nodded.

“Okay, wait here! I’ll let the photographer know,” she hurried off.

Every single person turned to stare at Roses.

“What?”

“We’re a technology convention?”

“I am not a robot!”

“Squeaker squeak!”

“Is that how you got us in here?”

“We get priority in the lines?”

“There are more than fifteen of us! Who isn’t eating? I know I am!”

“Am I a robot?”

“You’re doing an experiment?”

“Shut up!” Roses shouted over them. “Now, quickly, before she comes back, how else do you think I got us all in here? They believe that everyone who is not human is a robot and that we are the creators. Well, except Sally, of course. They also believe that we are doing a test run of our products and that we will sell them one day. The clones are the celebrities who support us, but they don’t want the press to know yet. That’s why we’re getting special rates and priority. Okay?”

“Okay, but there are still more of us than fifteen. How are the others going to eat?” Roseidous complained.

“It’s all-you-can-eat. They can eat off of someone’s plate. There are only, what, seven of us who don’t look human? Sally, Al, Vic, and Murry don’t have to eat and Bubba isn’t here. So we’ll only have to sneak food to Stan and Billy Jo. Easy.”

“Sometimes you plan way too much,” Ann nodded.

“I use what we have to get what we want. It’s a skill.”

“He’s ready!” the woman returned. “Come with me and we’ll get you all set up for your picture.”

The clones immediately started fussing with their hair.

“How did I end up with you people?” Katherine sighed.

A camera was set up in a small room off from the main restaurant.

“Everyone who eats here gets a free group portrait. Would you like your robots in the picture, too?” the photographer asked. He was wearing a Goofy hat.

“Sure!” Roses said. “Just tell them where to stand. They obey all voice commands.”

The photographer posed them and snapped the picture. Then, the group headed off to their private dining area. They filled their plates at the huge buffet while the servers brought orange juice. They had barely started eating when the music began to play. Roses grinned evilly, put down her fork, and picked up her big, green napkin while the others looked around, confused.

“What is that song?” Ann asked.

“The napkin dance.”

“The what?”

“The napkin dance. Grab yours, the fun part is coming up.”

The tempo of the song increased and their servers filed into the room, also carrying green napkins. The chorus started and the servers began to dance around the room, waving the napkins around over their heads. Chip and Dale ran into the Tri-Leaders room, also dancing with napkins. Roses enthusiastically joined in, waving hers from her chair. The rest of the group stared.

“Oh, come on!” Roses said. She stood up and pulled Ann to her feet, giving her a napkin. “Dance!”

Chip and Dale grabbed Holli and Tails and dragged them up to dance. The clones joined in, taking an unresisting Tyrael and Mr. Packard with them. Roseidous led Sally in some sort of strange tango around the room.

“This is just so wrong,” Katherine whispered to Vinnie, who nodded and tried to back further into his corner.

After a few minutes, the music stopped and the servers returned to their jobs. Tails and Holli got autographs from Chip and Dale, winking at them as they left. The rest of them came back to their seats, laughing.

“I don’t know why, but that was more fun than it should have been,” Ann said, putting butter on her toast.

Roses grinned evilly again. “They do it every half hour.”

***

Two napkin dances later, the group piled onto a monorail car leaving for the Magic Kingdom.

“Before you all ask, we don’t have to stick together today,” Roses told them. “You can even go off by yourself as long as you meet to catch the right bus back to your hotel. However, as I have the tickets, I suggest we stick together long enough to get in the park.”

The monorail stopped, and they filed off, joining the crowd headed for the gates. Roses guided them through, handing over the tickets.

“Wait!” Roseidous shouted, before they could actually go through the tunnel to Main Street. “I have to get a wheelchair for Sally!”

“Well, hurry up about it,” Holli told him. “We’re ready to go.”

He nodded and ran over to short rental building to get in the line. Reaching the desk, the woman smiled at him.

“Can I help you?”

“Yes, I need a wheelchair for my…er…my assistant.”

“Okay, and what is your assistant’s name? First and last, please.”

“Sally….um…Roseidous. Yes, Sally Roseidous. That’s R-O-S-E-I-D-O-U-S.”

“Great,” she wrote it down. “And I need to document the reason for the wheelchair, just for our records.”

Roseidous picked Sally up and put her on the counter. Her airless leg flew over, almost hitting the woman. “Can’t you tell her leg is broken?”

“Um…sir? You know that Sally is um…well, she’s not a real person.”

Roseidous clapped his hands over the doll’s ears and leaned in to whisper. “Don’t say that; you’ll hurt her feelings!”

“Yes, sorry, sir, but I’m afraid I can’t rent a wheelchair to a…well, to Sally.”

“Hang on, Roses will tell you. Roses!” he called, and then waved her over. She rolled her eyes, but left the group to see what was going on.

“What’s the problem now, Rosey?” Roses asked.

“She won’t rent a wheelchair to Sally. I showed her the broken leg and everything.”

“Oh,” Roses turned to the woman. “I apologize, I didn’t know he’d gotten in this line. He’s on new medication today. I wouldn’t ask you this otherwise, but the doctors say he’s only coherent when he’s with Sally. If you don’t mind--?”

“I see,” the woman nodded, giving Roses a ‘look’. “Of course he can have a wheelchair.”

She gestured at another employee, who brought a wheelchair to Roseidous. He reverentially fastened Sally into it, being careful to elevate her leg with the footrest. Roses thanked the woman and led Roseidous back to the group.

“I can’t believe they gave you one,” Tails said. “How did you do it?”

“Roses told them I was insane.”

“Not far from the truth,” Katherine mumbled.

“Now that Sally is taken care of, if you’ll all hang on for a minute, I have your passes for the lines,” Roses gestured for them to gather around her as she dug through her backpack.

She handed them out and had just given the last one to Vinnie, when the voice shrieked, “Is that Brad Pitt?!”

A group of women quickly surrounded the Tri-Leaders, forcing them into a circle. Poor Mr. Packard, unfortunately, did not get to the inside.

“Brad, I’m your biggest fan!”

“Can I have your autograph?!”

“Brad, I loved you in Troy!”

“You dyed your hair gray! Is it for a new movie? I love it!”

“I love you!”

“Um…I apologize ma’am, but I’m not…” the paper shoved into his hand and the flash of a camera silenced Mr. Packard.

“Hey, take a picture with me in it!”

“Where’s Jennifer? Is she really dating OJ Simpson?”

“Someone help him!” Tails said from somewhere behind Roses.

“Yeah, Vinnie, help!” Holli’s voice came from the left.

Vinnie sighed and pushed his way through, almost stepping on Billy Jo and definitely stepping on Tyrael’s foot. He shoved Ann backwards, got next to Mr. Packard, and put his hand on the other man’s shoulder. He glared at the women and said, “This is not Brad Pitt, he will not give you an autograph, and he………is with me.”

The women shut up. They took in Vinnie’s glare, his muscles, and his black skirt. Then they backed away, blending into the crowd.

“Um, thanks,” Mr. Packard said.

“No problem.”

“So,” Roses couldn’t help but laugh, “first thing seems to be a stop at the Emporium to get Mr. Packard a hat and some sunglasses. It’s over to the le--”

Another voice cut her off. “Is that Tyra Banks?!!!”

“On second thought, first thing is to run. GO!”

The entire group turned and fled down Main Street, following in the path cleared by Bubba. At least the giant penguin was good for moving through the crowds. Roses grabbed the nearest person, who happened to be Ann, and ducked into the Ice Cream Parlour. The sickeningly sweet smell of sugar filled the room. Roses waited a few seconds before peering outside.

“Okay, we’re clear.”

She stepped out, followed by Ann, who asked, “You think they all got away?”

“I think that the people we’re with are more than capable of taking care of themselves.”

“Good point. So now what?”

“Now you and I are going to Fantasyland.” Roses started off down the street. “Ready for ‘It’s A Small World?’”

“No,” Ann froze in horror.

“Oh, come on. It’ll be great.”

***

“So what’s this way?” Holli looked down the street.

“I dunno,” Tails shrugged.

“Roses would know.” Katherine said.

The three girls had taken the first main pathway to the left and crossed a bridge. The sign on the bridge proclaimed that they were entering Adventureland. They were approaching a large, tan building with a park employee sitting out front.

“Is this a ride?” Tails asked him.

“It’s Pirates of the Caribbean!” he said, surprised that they didn’t know. “You know, big hit movie? It was based on this ride.”

“Pirates of the Caribbean, huh?” Holli turned to the other two girls and smiled. “We are so going on this one. Hey, mister, we have these passes, can we go to the front?”

“Of course. Take the line on the left.”

“Thanks.”

They went inside and wound their way through the dark corridors, decorated to look like a fortress and prison. Lanterns flickered at various intervals. At the end, they found themselves in the loading area. It looked like the wharf of a small island town. Overhead, the ceiling was painted to look like the night sky. Along side of the dock, the boat waited for its passengers. Katherine, Tails, and Holli climbed into the front seat of one and were on their way, floating through a dark, barren, rocky cavern

Suddenly a gust of sea air blew through the tunnel. The sound of thunder crashed and sea gulls squealed. A ghostly echo moaned throughout the cave: Dead men tell no tales, tales, tales, tales. Dead men tell no tales, tales, tales, tales. Dead men tell no tales, tales, tales, tales.

To the left they could see a small area of the cavern, where the floor rose above the waterline. Up on the rocky ledge were the skeletal remains of a long dead pirate, pinned upright against a stone column with a sword. On the right was an old shipwreck, wedged into the cavern. Another skeleton held the steering wheel of his ship, never having given up. Lightning flashed through a hole in the cavern wall and there was a sound of rushing water ahead.

Another pirate voice said, “Hold fast there lubbers! There be rough water ahead!”

The boat was, without warning, caught up in a strong current. It entered a pitch-black tunnel and plummeted down a waterfall. They landed with a splash in a calm, open sea.

“That was sort of scary,” Tails said.

POP! SPLASH! Cannon fire interrupted Holli’s reply. They were floating towards a battle between a pirate ship and a coastal Spanish fort. Both fired at each other, the girls’ boat trapped between them.

An older pirate voice yelled, “You may not survive to pass this way again!”

A second pirate also called, “No fear have ye of evil curses says you. Aye? Hehehe. Properly warned ye be says I.”

The pirate captain shouted at his crew and at the fort, “Fire at will! Stand by at your guns mates! Strike your colors, you bloomin' cockroaches! By thunder, we'll see ya to Davy Jones! Surrender, you lilly livered lubbers!”

The boat drifted safely past the battle and into a small Caribbean town. It appeared that pirates had completely taken over. To the immediate right, the unfortunate mayor of the town, a man named Carlos, was being tortured in the town square. He was tied up and suspended over a water well. The pirate holding the rope occasionally lowered him into the water.

Floating past the town square, the found themselves in another area of town. There, the women of the town were being auctioned off as slaves to lonesome pirates. The auctioneer, a fancily dressed pirate, was prepared to sell a fat young maiden to the buccaneers. She didn’t seem to be too distressed about it. The voluptuous red headed woman who was next in line didn't seem very concerned either. Many of the other women in line were crying.

“We wants the red head! We wants the red head! We wants the red head!” some pirates chanted.

The boat sailed silently onward, under a stone arch and into a residential part of the town. There were balconies and staircases here and there, where disorderly pirates chased some women. Down near the waterline, a very drunk pirate dressed in gold and blue had lost his girl.

“Have you set your eyes on the bewitched maiden in your travels?” he asked the boat.

The girl he was talking about stuck her head up from a barrel behind him to look around. Quickly, she retreated back into the relative safety of the barrel.

“Oh, she be a lively lassie she were. Oh, I tell you true... it's alright be to hoist me colors on the likes of that shy little wench!” the pirate laughed. “I be willin' to share, I be! Ah ha ha!”

The boat kept going, finding its way into a section of the city that was on fire. The pirates themselves didn't appear too worried, however. They went about their business of acting drunk.

On the left, three pirates sang their theme song.

“Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me.
We pillage, we plunder, we rifle the loot.
Drink up me hearties, yo ho.
We kidnap and ravage and don't give a hoot.
Drink up me hearties, yo ho.
Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me.
We extort, and pilfer, we filch and sack.
Drink up me hearties, yo ho.
Maraud and embezzle and even hijack.
Drink up me hearties, yo ho.
We kindle and char and inflame and ignite.
Drink up me hearties, yo ho.
We burn up the city, we're really a fright.
Drink up me hearties, yo ho.
We're rascals and scoundrels, we're villains and knaves.
Drink up me hearties, yo ho.
We're devils and black sheep, we're really bad eggs.
Drink up me hearties, yo ho.
Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me.
We're beggars and blighters, ner do well cads.
Drink up me hearties, yo ho.
Aye but we're loved by our mommies and dads.
Drink up me hearties, yo ho.
Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me.”

To the right, a drunken pirate sat happily in the mud with three pigs.

In the next part of town, they found themselves in the village jail. The men of the town, those not shot or stabbed to death yet, were locked in the cells. A furry dog sat casually, just out of reach. He held the keys to the jail in his mouth. The men whistled, calling for the dog to come over. The dog regarded the men curiously with a tilt of the head, but refused to move.

In the last room, there was a blazing gunfight going on between the pirates, who didn’t want to share their treasures. Shots flew over the heads of the passengers from both sides. All the while, the theme music played and the pirates seemed to be having a jolly time, despite the fact that they were trying to kill each other.

After this final room, the boat parked at the unloading dock.

“There was no Johnny Depp on that ride,” Holli complained.

“No Orlando Bloom, either,” Tails added.

“But this is a lot better,” Katherine pointed. The ride’s exit had deposited them into a pirate-themed store.

Tails’ eyes lit on a barrel full of swords. “Yes. It’s much better.”

***

“It’s not that bad,” Tyrael considered, staring at Mr. Packard.

Stan giggled at the postman.

“It’s a Goofy hat, like that photographer was wearing,” Mr. Packard said. “Billy Jo, turn that camera off.”

“Squeak!”

“It’s the only hat in the store, unless you’d rather have mouse ears. Or there was a light-up wizard hat with moons. Sorcerer Mickey or something like that.”

Mr. Packard frowned. “Well, at least the sunglasses are normal.”

Stan giggled again.

Tyrael paid for the hat and glasses and they headed outside. They walked through the castle and took the first left. They passed through Liberty Square and entered Frontierland. Tyrael looked at the nearest ride, Big Thunder Mountain.

“Up for this one?” he asked.

Mr. Packard and Billy Jo both nodded, Stan cackled to himself, and they headed across the wooden bridge to the roller coaster. Halfway there, a giant wave from Splash Mountain soaked all four of them.

***

How do you do?
Mighty pleasant greetin'
How do you do?
Say it when you're meetin'
How do you do?
With every one repeatin'
Pretty good sure as you're born.

What goes up is sure to come down.
A penny lost is a penny found.
How do you do?
And here's a hearty back
A little bit of this and a little bit of that.

How do you do?
Fine. How are you?
How you come on?
Pretty good sure as you're born.

Stop jumpin' around,
You'll run out of breath!
Why don't you sit back
And calm yourself?

You can hurry on now if you must.
We'll do what we like, 'cause...
That suits us.

“I hate these singing frogs.” Katherine complained.

“Yeah, when’s the big drop?” Tails tried to look ahead of their fake log boat, but she couldn’t see around the next corner.

Holli nodded in agreement. “It better be soon. I can’t take much more singing.”

Following the track around another corner of singing animals, the boat suddenly started heading up. A sign above them read “Danger.” Before they had time to prepare for the hill, the log tipped over the mountain and plummeted down the waterfall.

“EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

“AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!”

“CWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!”

The boat crashed at the bottom.

“Hey, I didn’t even get wet!”

“That was the whole point!”

“Did you see those two guys on the bridge, though? They got soaked.”

“Yeah, but the one in the Goofy hat deserved it. That hat looks stupid.”

***

Vinnie scowled as he stepped off of the ride and into the sun. The Alien movie ride was supposed to be scary, especially when the creature “escaped” and “touched you” on the back of your neck. He found it kind of boring, as did Murry, who did not have a neck to be touched. And the screaming people were just annoying.

“Maybe the Haunted Mansion is scarier?” Murry suggested.

Vinnie shrugged.

***

“Well, what do we have here?” a park employee picked up the garden gnome. “Someone liberated you from Fantasyland, did they? I’ll just have to return you to Snow White’s Adventures myself.”

“You most certainly will not,” Vic told him.

“Oh, an interactive robot. I didn’t know we were getting some of those. Come on, Mr. Dwarf, it’s back to your place.”

“You don’t really know how much trouble you’re going to be in. I’m just warning you.”

“Aren’t you the grumpy one?”

“You have no idea.” Vic sighed. There was no point in struggling, as he definitely wasn’t big enough to fight off the worker alone. Just wait until Roses and Vinnie found him. Or even better, Bubba. Maybe the penguin could finally be useful.

***

“Sir, are you sure you want the picture?”

“I paid for it! Only…leave off the “Just Married” sign. I’d never hear the end of it.”

“Um…okay, then.”

Roseidous wrapped his arm around Sally’s shoulders as the elephants lifted into the sky and the photographer snapped the picture.

“See, Sally, we just got the perfect souvenir.”

Sally stared back at him.

“Yes, I know,” he told her. “The others don’t have someone special to ride Dumbo with them. They’ll be jealous.”

***

Someone nearby screamed and Ann jumped. She recovered, though, and looked around suspiciously.

“Oh, don’t worry,” Roses said. “It’s not Holli and Tails. It’s the Haunted Mansion ride. You’ll love it.”

“You said that about Peter Pan, It’s a Small World, and Winnie-the-Pooh. I will never get the singing out of my head. It’s so…happy. Always happy.” Ann traipsed through the iron gates towards the foreboding, deserted mansion.

“Admit you liked bouncing through the forest with Tigger in our honeypot.”

Ann gave her a look.

“Okay. Maybe not. Then at least be glad I skipped Snow White’s Adventures, because it’s just creepy.”

“Indeed,” Ann showed their passes to the man at the beginning of the line and he immediately waved them into the house.

The two girls walked down a very short entry hall into the first chamber, which served as a sort of elevator. The attendant closed the door behind them. It seamlessly blended into the wall, leaving no noticeable way out of the room. A single cartoon portrait hung on each wall of the octagonal-shaped room.

The floor began to sink. Or the walls began to stretch. It was difficult to tell. But as the ceiling moved further away, more of each portrait was revealed, showing that the people in them were either dead, or certainly about to die. Like the female tightrope walker, who balanced precariously over a crocodile pit.

Ann whispered to Roses, “Don’t let Holli, Tails, or Katherine on this ride. They’d get ideas, you know.”

A voice spoke during the stretching process. “Welcome! Foolish mortals, to the Haunted Mansion. I am your host, your ghost host. Our tour begins here, in this gallery. Here where you see paintings of some of our guests, as they appeared in their corruptible, mortal state. Kindly step all the way in please, and make room for everyone. There’s no turning back now. Your cadaverous pallor betrays an aura of foreboding, almost as though you sense a disquieting metamorphosis. Is this Haunted room actually stretching? Or is it your imagination, hhmm? And consider this dismaying observation: this chamber has no windows, and no doors. Which offers you this chilling challenge: to find A WAY OUT! HAHAHAHAHHAHA!!!!! Of course, there's always my way....”

The lights suddenly went out, leaving them in complete darkness. Some of the other guests in the room screamed.

“Oh, please,” Roses sighed. “On my count, look up. One…two…three!”

Ann looked up. Lightning flashed exactly when Roses said three to reveal a body hanging from the rafters. It swung in a slight breeze. More people screamed.

“That is just wrong.”

“It’s great. Let’s go.”

Another ride attendant opened the opposite wall of the room from the outside. They left the elevator and entered the loading area. A third attendant helped them step onto the moving platform and climb into a car.

“These things look like two person coffins,” Ann said.

“Yeah, they’re called Doom Buggies for some reason. I read that somewhere.”

“Ah. Well, good to know.”

The ghost that haunted their car explained to them that the mansion was currently the home of 999 ghosts and that they were looking for number 1,000. It laughed spookily. The ride took them down a portrait gallery, where the eyes in the paintings literally followed their car’s movements. The next hallway was full of doors that rattled, opened, and closed to reveal nothing behind them. A lone candelabrum floated down an otherwise deserted side hallway. They traveled through the ballroom, where projected, transparent couples danced in the air, accompanied by an invisible pianist. In the library, books moved of their own accord and the marble busts had moving faces cast onto them.

The ghost host said, “Our library is well stocked with priceless first editions, only ghost stories of course. And marble busts, of the greatest ghost writers, the literary world has even known.”

“Get it? Ghost writers?” Roses said.

“Ha. Ha.”

They saw the crazy woman in the crystal ball, predicting their doom. Or something. Finally, they arrived in the graveyard set. Rotting hands pushed open graves, heads popped up from behind tombstones, drunken ghosts sang a song, and a skull floated by.

“Murry!” Roses said in a loud stage whisper.

Murry saw them and headed over to their car.

“Should have known you’d be here,” Ann told him.

“Yeah, and you’ll never #$%* guess what!”

“Then you’ll just have to tell me, I’m afraid.”

“My cousin, Murrie, works here! He invited me over later tonight to scare some more #$*$ kids!”

“Right,” Ann glanced at Roses. “So, is everyone in your family named Murry?”

“Of course not! Why?”

“Well, we know you, your Uncle Murray from EVIL Elementary, and now Cousin Murrie. Just wondering, that’s all.”

Their car entered a long hall of mirrors. The ghost voice came back to tell them that sometimes the ghosts liked to hitchhike in the visitors’ cars. In their reflection, Roses and Ann could see a ghost in a top hat and suit sitting between them. Roses held up two fingers and gave him bunny ears.

Ann ignored her. “So, have you seen anyone else?”

“No,” Murray said, and then, “Wait, that’s wrong. I was with Vinnie on this ride, but he said he was bored and I stayed to talk to Murrie anyway. He probably went back to his room.”

“Poor Vinnie. If he wants to see something really scary, he should go to Fantasyland,” Ann said.

“Hey!”

“Sorry, Roses, but it’s the singing. I’ll have nightmares!”

“That reminds me-“

“Uh-oh. What?”

“We skipped the Philharmagic back over by Peter Pan! Let’s backtrack before we go ride Splash Mountain.”

“Must we?”

“Have you ever seen a movie in four dimensions?”

“No…can’t say I have…”

Roses nodded. “Then you must go at least once.”

The ghost said something about how they were lucky to survive, but could always come back and die. Roses wasn’t paying attention, though, as she gathered up her things. Murry left their car and went back towards the graveyard. A few cars behind them, someone screamed.

“At least Murry is having fun,” Ann grumbled.

“What?”

“At least that ride was more fun.”

***

“The Enchanted Tiki Room: Under New Management,” Katherine read.

“Could be good,” Tails shrugged.

“Oh, why not,” Holli said, and walked up to the entrance.

The pre-show started outside the Tiki Room. There was a tropical garden with a waterfall. The three girls headed up to the front.

“Ooh, it’s pretty,” Holli said.

The waterfall suddenly stopped flowing, and the wall behind it opened up to reveal William and Morris, two birds. They both had suitcases. William was red and Morris was blue. The two birds were the talent agents of Iago, from Aladdin, and Zazu, from the Lion King.

“Hey, what're you doing' here, William?” Morris asked.

“What're you doing' here, Morris?” William asked in return.

“I just flew in from Hollywood. My client's the new owner of this birdcage.”

“What? Are you cuckoo? My client's the new owner. Disney gave me an exclusive.”

“Co-exclusive,” Morris told him. “Didn't you read your contract?”

“I gave it a bird's eye glance.”

“ And you call yourself a talent agent? I negotiated my tail feathers off for this deal.”

“Well,” William said. “My client does not share credit. He's a very big bird.”

“Your client is Big Bird?”

“No, not Big Bird. A big bird, you birdbrain.”

“Well, your dim little star is now half owner of the Enchanted Tiki Room with my superstar,” Morris said.

“Think again, chickie babe.”

“Chickie babe?” Katherine asked.

“Stop grousing!” Morris said, and gestured at the audience with a wing. “Just look at these paying customers waiting to get in.”

“Did you say ‘paying’?” William looked at them, suddenly interested.

“As in money.”

“As in ten percent? Hey, who am I to go against the status crow?”

A gong sounded from somewhere and a Disney employee appeared. He told the birds that the gong meant it was time to go inside and instructed the audience that the doors would open and they could go inside the theater.

“Wait!” William shouted. “Our clients are not here.”

“Maybe they hit traffic,” Morris suggested.

“Don't say that.”

“Sorry. Anyway, babe, I've got to fly this coop and migrate back to Hollywood. My birds will call your birds. We'll do lunch.”

“What's the rush?”

“I'm about to sign Donald Duck.”

“Oh yeah? Big deal, you hockey puck! I've got the Mighty Ducks in the wings.”

“You do not”

“Do too.”

“Do not.”

“Do too.”

“Not!”

“Too!”

“Not!”

“Too!”

“Not!”

“TOO!!!!”

“You don't. Come on.”

“Leave me alone.”

“Oh ...”

“Do too!”

“Oh ...”

“Yeah?”

“Come on, William.”

“Oh, not! Oh yeah?”

The theater doors opened and the crowd gladly left the arguing birds to take a seat in the theater. Inside, brightly colored animatronic birds and flowers were suspended above their heads.

The show began with the four original birds singing. Suddenly, Iago appeared, telling them that the show was stupid. Zazu spoke up from the opposite corner, telling him that the Tiki gods liked the show. Iago said that he wasn’t afraid of any old Tiki gods.

“Iago, please. The Tiki gods can hear you,” Zazu said.

“If I hear one more word about those Tiki-tacky, Polynesian, pineapple-pickin', wood-for-brains, MORON Tiki gods ...”

There was a loud clap of thunder and the lights dimmed.

“Hey! Who turned out the lights?” Iago demanded.

“That would be the moron Tiki gods.”

Deep voices, those of the Tiki gods, started chanting. “Uh Oa, Uh Oa, Uh Oa, Uh Oa…”

“What are they saying?”

“They are calling the goddess Uh Oa. Now you’ve done it. She’s angry.”

Green smoke came from the planter in the center of the room and a larger Tiki statue rose in the middle.

“Who dares to defame the Tiki gods?” Uh Oa asked.

“Remind you of Randall at all?” Holli whispered to Katherine.

“He needs a girlfriend, doesn’t he?”

With much smoke and noise, Iago was “banished” from the Tiki house. Then the party really started. The birds sang their own version of “In The Still Of The Night.” Uh Oa sang a song. Beautiful, white birds descended from the ceiling on a perch.

“Sing it, girls!” another bird said.

“Come on birdies, shake your feathers, do the conga.
No, we can't control ourselves any long-a.
Get into the Tiki rhythm of a song-a.
This is where the Tiki birds all belong-a.”

A heavily bandaged Iago came back during the song and he and Zazu danced. There were a few more fun songs and then the Tiki birds sang a farewell song to the audience.

“That was just weird,” Katherine said, back outside.

“Yeah, it was really strange,” Holli agreed.

“But kind of cute?” Tails suggested.

“I suppose. Now what?”

***

“Hello, Junior Space Rangers!” the giant plastic model of Buzz Lightyear proclaimed. “We have a very important mission for you today! Evil Emperor Zurg has stolen our power cells. You must follow him and recover the energy sources! You must not fail! Are you prepared to take on this mission?”

“Sure,” Tyrael shrugged.

The little kids around him stared.

“Oh, you know you wanted to tell him yes,” Tyrael frowned.

The doors to the actual ride opened, allowing them all through. Tyrael, Mr. Packard, Stan, and Billy Jo climbed into the same car.

“Okay, here’s the plan,” a pre-recorded Buzz said in the speakers by their ears. “We need to use our lasers to zap each of the power cells. Then, we can regain the energy for ourselves and return it to Earth. Pull the trigger on your laser guns while aiming at the targets. Use the controls in the middle to turn your car around. I’m counting on you, Junior Space Rangers. Good luck.”

“Right,” Mr. Packard said. “And here’s our plan. Tyrael, you and I will do the aiming and shooting. Stan, you control which way the car faces. Billy Jo, you really can’t film inside the rides, so put the camera down and help us out. You keep a lookout and tell Stan which way to turn the handle. Got it?”

“Yep,” Tyrael grabbed the handle of his laser.

The ride sent them through a fake launch process and then into “space.” All around their car, neon aliens held neon batteries in a neon landscape. The aliens themselves were the lime green ones from the claw skill game. They taunted the riders, who tried to hit the yellow targets on the batteries.

“Bright enough, do you think?” Tyrael asked.

Mr. Packard ignored him by firing at the nearest alien and scoring a direct hit. One thousand points flashed on the panel in front of his gun. He laughed, “This is great! Tyrael, shoot them!”

“Isn’t that really violent? They don’t look like mean aliens.”

“Are you evil or not?” Mr. Packard’s score was now 12,000 points. “Shoot!”

Tyrael half-heartedly aimed at some of the batteries. By the end of the fairly long ride, he’d managed to score 32 hits, for 32,000 points. Mr. Packard’s score read 257,000. A sign at the exit told them their new Space Ranger ranking.

“I’m a Senior Space Ranger,” Tyrael shrugged, putting his gun back in its holder.

“Yeah, well I’m a Star Fleet Commander!” Mr. Packard cheered. “That was fun!”

Tyrael walked back outside into the Tomorrowland commons area. “Where to?”

Mr. Packard managed to actually produce a map from one of his pockets. “We already rode the roller coaster on the other side of the park. And we don’t want to ride anything in Fantasyland, right?”

“Um…yeah,” Tyrael said. “None of those children’s rides for us.”

“So it looks like we’re staying here in Tomorrowland for the afternoon. There’s a racecar track and the Astro-Orbiter and some Alien ride. And, of course, Space Mountain. This seems to be the manly, adult side of the park.”

“Okay, we stay here,” Tyrael agreed. “But let’s find something for lunch, first.”

***

“Whooooooohooooooo!!! Sally, these spinning teacups are great!” Roseidous turned the wheel to make them spin faster.

Sally gave him a blank look.

“What do you mean, you’re feeling sick?”

Another look.

“What?! Don’t you dare throw up on me!”

Stare.

“Someone stop this ride! Stop it, I tell you! Right now!”

***

“I can’t believe we just ate lunch in a Western-themed restaurant,” Katherine said.

“Admit it,” Tails told her. “The cowboys were cute.”

“Yes, of course. And how many phone numbers did you and Holli get?”

Holli pulled out some napkins and counted. “Seven.”

“That’s...um…nice.”

“That’s not our best record. We could have gotten more.” Tails led the way through some arches into a different part of the park. “What’s this?”

“Let’s see,” Holli thought. “Lots of kids, pastel colored buildings, more kids, happy music, and even more kids. Must be Fantasyland.”

“Oh. We’re not riding anything in here, are we?”

“Only if we can’t find anything else to do,” Holli said. “And let’s walk through very quickly. Roses is probably in here somewhere.”

The three girls jogged down the street between Peter Pan and It’s A Small World. They rounded the corner and passed the Philharmagic and Winnie-the-Pooh. They made their way around Cinderella’s Carousel and stopped to get their bearings.

“Do you hear that?” Holli asked.

“I hear a lot of things, you’ll have to be more specific,” Katherine said.

“I hear engines running. Like, car engines.”

“Yeah, I hear it, too. Now that you mention it.”

Tails, who was facing the correct way, spun Holli around. “You do hear cars. It’s a racetrack.”

“Perfect,” Holli grinned.

The girls quickly found the entrance to the Grand Prix Raceway and joined the Fast Pass line. At the end of it, they found themselves behind Tyrael and Mr. Packard.

‘Hi, Ty!”

“Hello,” he said. “Of course you’d be on this ride.”

“Of course,” Holli said. “And we are so going to kick your butt in the race.”

“The cars are on tracks. It’s not a real-“ Katherine began, but Tails shushed her.

The attendants helped them into their authentic Autopia Mark VII racecars. Holli insisted that she have her own purple car. Mr. Packard got into the driver’s seat of the blue car he shared with Tyrael while Tails climbed behind the wheel of a yellow one with Katherine.

They pulled up to the starting line along with the rest of the park guests in the race. The light changed from red to yellow, and then from yellow to green. Holli hit the gas pedal, pushing it all the way to the floor. Mr. Packard did the same, making their two cars the early leaders in the race. Tails was right behind them.

“Give it up now, mailman!” Holli shouted, steering around a sharp bend. Her back tire caught on the track, slowing her down a little.

Mr. Packard pulled up next to her. “You give it up, woman driver!”

“You’ll pay for that one!” Holli tried pushing on the gas pedal again. “Why won’t these cars go faster?! Seven miles per hour is not enough!”

“They are insane,” Katherine said to Tails.

“Yes, but they’re funny.”

Mr. Packard squealed around the next turn.

“Can’t you um…slow down a little?” Tyrael asked.

“And lose this race to a girl? Holli? You have got to be kidding me,” he concentrated on keeping up with her.

“Women drivers are superior to you!” Holli shouted as they headed up the bridge together. “Any driver is superior to you!”

“We’ll see about that!”

On the downhill slope, their cars reached top speeds of seven and a half miles per hour. They steered around some hairpin turns and headed towards the finish line, engines roaring. The lead kept changing back and forth on the final straightaway. Both zoomed under the checkered flag.

“I won!” Holli cheered.

“No, we won!” Mr. Packard argued.

“Photo finish!” Tails called. “And we got third place.”

“Someone had to win!” Holli unbuckled her seatbelt and looked for the nearest employee. “Who won?”

“It was a tie, ma’am,” the employee said, very wisely.

“I call for a re-match!”

“And then I’ll kick your butt!” Mr. Packard yelled.

Tyrael shook his head slightly at the employee, who nodded.

“Oh, um, I’m afraid your passes are only good for one turn,” he said. “You’ll have to wait in the line with everyone else now. It’s an hour wait today, I hear.”

“Oh well,” Katherine said. She winked at the attendant and grabbed Holli’s arm, leading her away from the track. “We don’t have time to wait for an hour. Let’s go find something else to do. Want to ride Space Mountain?”

“We already did that,” Mr. Packard said. “It was fun.”

“Yeah?” Holli asked, both of them already forgetting the competition. “What else is fun over here?”

“Buzz Lightyear’s Space Rangers. Highly recommended.”

“Cool. We’ll see you later?”

“Yep,” he and Tyrael headed towards Liberty Square while the girls turned left towards the roller coaster.

***

“Now, see, Sally, this is going to be a very calm ride,” Roseidous removed the doll from her wheelchair, left it in the parking zone, and carried her up the escalator. “The Tomorrowland Transit Authority is just a tour of the rides.”

At the top, an announcer said, “Please step carefully onto the moving platform, then step into the vehicle and remain seated throughout your journey. Please stay clear of the Metroliner doors. They will close automatically.”

Roseidous settled Sally into a seat next to his. “See, Sally, we have our own private car.”

A monotone voice spoke from the speakers in their car. “Tomorrowland Transit Authority Metroliner non-stop now departing Rockettower Plaza Station for a round trip Super Skyway tour.”

A more cheerful voice said, “Welcome aboard TTA travelers! We hope you enjoy Tomorrowland Transit Authority's Super Skyway!”

The car turned left, providing an unhindered look at Tomorrowland. On the right, they could see Buzz Lightyear, Space Mountain and the Tomorrowland Power Station. On the left were Rockettower Plaza and the two main attraction buildings. As they continued turning, they saw the building that contained the “Interplanetary Convention Center,” or home of the Alien Encounter ride.

The monotone voice said, “Now approaching, Tomorrowland Interplanetary Convention Center.”

“The Convention Center is host to a galaxy of new ideas from other planets.”

The Metroliner passed over the entrance of the Merchant of Venus store and rolled past the front of the Convention Center. It traveled the entire length of the building and made a sharp right turn. They passed over the queuing area for Alien Encounter and entered the first of a series of tunnels, which led through the Tomorrowland buildings. The first sight in the tunnel, seen on the left, was a cityscape presented in perfectly scaled miniature. This city was created by Walk Disney engineering in the 1960’s to demonstrate Walt Disney's concept of Epcot, Experimental Prototype Community of Tomorrow.

“The Tomorrowland Metro Retro Historical Society presents, Walt Disney's Twentieth Century vision of the future. These models represent what Walt believed to be the perfect community in which to work, live and play.” Said the announcer.

“Now approaching, Mickey's Star Traders.”

On the right they saw the neon lit shipping room used by the Mickey's Star Traders shopping area. Robots loaded a spacecraft that would carry merchandize to other planets.

“For your convenience, the ground crew at Mickey's Star Traders will be glad to rocket 'ship' to any planet in the galaxy.”

After passing the shipping room, the Metroliner exited the tunnel and was once again outdoors. To the right were several sharply cropped topiary trees standing near Auntie Gravity's Galactic Goodies. They found themselves passing over the Grand Prix Raceway. A traffic reporter with a slight southern accent interrupted the music playing in their car.

“Hi there Tomorrowland travelers. This is Mr. Johnson in Sky Hovercraft One, bringing you the latest Tomorrowland traffic report. As usual, it's real busy down on the Tomorrowland Super Highway…”

After crossing over the Raceway, they passed another section of Metroliner track, to the left. The ride was timed perfectly, so that their car passed another train of Metroliners, going in the opposite direction. Roseidous waved at the people and held up Sally’s hand to help her wave. Beyond the track, the mammoth structure of Space Mountain rose skyward. As the car approached Space Mountain, it passed a sign that read "Space Mountain: A Journey Through Time and Space." The vehicle entered the huge, white building.

“Now arriving at Space Mountain.”

After several seconds of darkness, it entered a somewhat bright room, and passed between the dual, upward sweeping tracks of the roller coaster. Two animatronic astronauts worked above the car on a piece of space scaffolding. On the right, they could see out of the windows and into the loading area of Space Mountain, but the people below couldn’t look up and see them. Below and to the left, was a barren world, occupied by several high-tech looking tools, and a futuristic Fed Ex package.

“So as you can see, Space Mountain is hardly just another form of space travel; it's an adventure. Another fine transportation service provided by the Tomorrowland Transit Authority.”

Outside again, the Metroliners hugged the circular structure of Space Mountain.

“Attention. All visitors from Galaxy Planetary One, please keep all horns, claws and tentacles clear of oncoming Metroliner Vehicles. Thank you.”

The Metroliner rolled back towards the center of Tomorrowland, passing a row of track occupied by another train. Roseidous waved again. Directly to the left, was Tomorrowland Power Station with its red, lightening-like electricity, flowing through the huge windows. The vehicle soon branched off to the left, giving them a clear view of Rockettower Plaza.

“The center piece of Rockettower Plaza is the League of Planets Astro Obelisk. This symbol of interplanetary friendship provides all beings with an exhilarating sense of unity.”

To the left, was the Skyway entrance, under which was a futuristic waterfall. Straight ahead, was the circular structure of the seasonal Carousel of Progress. They circled the building.

“Paging Mr. Morrow. Mr. Tom Morrow. Your party from Saturn has arrived. Please give them a ring.”

“Now approaching Walt Disney's Carousel of Progress. This attraction is only open during specific times of the year. See a cast member or guidebook for more details.”

After passing around the Carousel building, they entered yet another tunnel. This tunnel led through the second attraction building. The first sight on the right was a futuristic beauty salon, where a female alien was having here hair styled.

“Here you can see the fun and entertaining attraction, Buzz Lightyear’s Space Rangers.”

Through the darkened windows, Roseidous and Sally watched the cars and passengers steer through the neon landscape to reclaim the battery sources. Back outside, the Metroliner took a right hand turn, around the side of the building. To the left, they saw Cinderella’s Castle and the entrance to Tomorrowland. After another right turn, they headed back into the center of Tomorrowland. The vehicle followed the side of the building.

“Now approaching Rockettower Plaza.”

“Welcome back to Rockettower Plaza, and the start of Tomorrowland. Come now, rejoin us and believe in the promise of tomorrow.”

“Now arriving, final destination, Rockettower Plaza Station.”

Their car entered the plaza, slowing down slightly to match the speed of the moving walkway. The automatic doors opened, and they disembarked. At the bottom of the escalator, Roseidous reclaimed his wheelchair and placed Sally in it.

“I told you it would be okay,” he said. “Now, you think you can handle another spinning ride? I want to try out the Astro-Orbiter. It’s getting late and there will be a great view at night.”

Sally gave him a blank stare.

“Yes, I promise to stop if you feel sick.”

***

“And a very good evening to everyone!” Roses addressed the group seated on the stairs near Main Street. “Glad you see you made it to the Ice Cream Parlour on time. Let’s all get some cones and meet back here at the steps for the fireworks show.”

“Then can I go back to the hotel and go to sleep?”

“Yes, Ann.” Roses said, waiting for everyone go into the store in front of her. She called up to the cashier, “I’ll pay for all of these!”

Once again assembled on the steps, ice cream cones making a really big, sticky mess, Roses took a head count.

“Someone is missing.”

“Um…Vic’s not here,” Tails said, finally noticing that her roommate was not there.

“What? Where is he? Was he here a minute ago?”

No response.

“Well, did anyone see him?”

There was a general chorus of no.

“Has anyone seen him all day?”

Again, a negative response.

“People, think about it! No one has seen him at all? He did come into the park with us, didn’t he?”

“Quack!”

“Thanks, Bubba. Anyone else?”

“Yeah, I think I saw him running away from the crazy fans this morning,” Katherine said. “Although, he is hard to see in a crowd.”

Holli licked her mint chocolate chip before it dripped on her shirt. “Are you that concerned? Isn’t he capable of taking care of himself? He is mean, you know.”

“Yes, but there are a lot of people here! What if someone took him? What if he got hurt? You’re not worried?”

“He’s made out of wood,” Roseidous pointed out. “It would be kind of hard for the average person to injure him without a power drill or something,” he took a napkin out of Sally’s pocket. “Thanks for holding that, Sally.”

“And besides,” Katherine said. “If someone did take him, I’ll bet they didn’t keep him for long. I sure wouldn’t.”

Roses tossed her uneaten chocolate waffle cone in the nearest trashcan. “Okay, people, on your feet. This calls for serious measures. We’re going to split up and search this entire park. I’m going back to my hotel. If anyone finds Vic, call me. Otherwise, stay in the park and keep looking until they kick you out at closing time. If he’s at one of your hotels, call me. Ann, you and Al go search in Fantasyland. Tyrael and Mr. Packard, you take Tomorrowland. Tails and Katherine, go to Adventureland. Holli and Vinnie, head over to Frontierland. Billy Jo and Stan, look around in Toontown. And Rosey and Sally, take Murry to check Liberty Square. Clones, all of you search the shops here on Main Street. You’re familiar with them, I know. Let’s move, people! Eat on your feet!”

“QUACK!!”

Other park guests in the vicinity shrieked. Roses rolled her eyes. “Sorry, Bubba. Your job is most important. You’re coming with me to regulate the search headquarters. I might even let you answer the phone. If you don’t eat it.”

With some grumbling, each group headed off in its assigned direction.

***

“Revolt, I say! Revolt!” Vic told the dwarf.

The dwarf continued to smile as it hacked at the gemstones imbedded in the rocks.

“Can’t you hear me? You are an oppressed servant of the human race! They keep you in here, day after day, forcing you to work. And for what? For them to drive past and look at you? Why do you stay? Why?”

More smiling.

“What is your name?” Vic demanded.

No response.

“Your hat says Happy. How can you be happy to be in these caves? At least come to the coal mines with me.”

Smile.

“I can see I have a lot of work to do here.”

***

There was some knocking on her hotel room door. Roses got up and opened it to let in Murry. “Nothing?”

“Nope. Maybe Short Stuff got himself (*$%& kidnapped. How #$%^^ cool would that be?”

“Murry, please. That is not helping. Your group is the last to check in. What took you so long, anyway?”

“Roseidous got Sally’s *$&%^ wheelchair stuck, somehow in one of those %*^*^ streetcar track things on Main Street. They had to call maintenance people to come and get it out. It was great.”

“Say no more. That explains it all.”

“I missed hanging out with my cousin Murrie, you know.”

“I know,” she sighed. “And I missed the parade and fireworks. There’s always another day, though. Maybe we can get there the last day.”

***

“I have to tell you something,” Tyrael joined Mr. Packard on the balcony and sat down in the second chair.

“What is that?”

“I am not evil.”

“Hmm?” Mr. Packard lowered his new book from the gift shop about the life of Walt Disney and blinked. “What was that?”

“You know how I didn’t want to shoot the aliens on the Buzz Lightyear ride today? And you said ‘Are you evil or not? Shoot!’? I am not evil.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“I mean that I’m not evil.”

“You…what?”

Tyrael sighed. “I never planned to join the Tri-Leaders. I was dragged into it, literally, by Holli and Tails. I thought it was a joke at first. But you know all the stuff that’s happened. It’s becoming less of a joke all the time. I never expected it to last this long, you know?”

“So…um…what?”

“I know, I know. Weird. I should just tell them all and leave. But you know what they’d do.”

“Of course I know,” Mr. Packard laughed. “They’d tie you up and drag you right back to the camp. Or put you in the coal mines. You know way too much.”

“Yeah,” Tyrael sighed. “Just…don’t say anything. To anyone.”

“I wouldn’t! You’re my roommate!”

“Right. Good. Well. Now I feel better.”

***

“I can’t believe Vic is going to miss all of this,” Roses led the way through a strange garden of various-sized, pointy, marble sculptures just inside the main gates of EPCOT. “I have no idea where he could have gone.”

“Me, either,” Ann yawned.

“Roses, what exactly are these things?” Tails asked. “They have some kind of weird writing on them. Is it supposed to be another language? Like, from the future? Or aliens?”

“It’s not any $%&^ demonic language I’ve ever seen, that’s for sure,” Murry said.

“No, no, of course not. Go see for yourselves,” Roses was reading a guide to the park and vaguely waved them closer to the sculptures.

Holli walked up to a shorter one. “Pictures! They’re all miniature pictures of people!”

“Yeah, Leave Your Legacy, or something. We don’t have time for that, though,” Roses pointed at the giant golf-ball thing, or rather, as she informed them: “Spaceship Earth. It’s really called a geosphere. Listen up; we’re going to learn about it. This is from the guidebook: The geosphere is 165 feet in diameter and weighs 16 million pounds. It encompasses 2.2 million cubic feet of space and has an outside surface diameter of 150,000 square feet. It is covered by 11,324 triangular panels and held aloft by 6 support legs that are sunk over 100 feet into the ground. Science fiction writer Ray Bradbury and a host of other consultants and advisors worked with the Disney Imagineers to develop Spaceship Earth. Spaceship Earth is made out of alucabond, a carbon - aluminum compound, which is easily cleaned and can withstand the Florida climate. Spaceship Earth has a unique gutter system so that guests passing by do not have rain dumped on them. The panels were developed to suck in the water as it hits them and in turn it replenishes the water around the World Showcase Lagoon. Huh. I didn’t know that.”

“Learn something new every day, I guess,” Ann said.

“Um. Can we ride it now?” Holli tapped her foot impatiently.

“Of course! Everyone have his or her pass? Yes? Good. Just so you all know, we are sticking together as a group today. I don’t want anyone else to go missing. So let’s go!”

“That sign says you can’t ride if you’re afraid of dark, enclosed spaces,” Tyrael pointed at the warning next to the entrance ramp. “Too bad. I can’t go in.”

“Tyrael, you are not claustrophobic. Now, come on. I promise that this ride is not scary at all. No worries.” Roses waited for everyone to go ahead of her in the Fast Pass lane.

Holli followed Tyrael towards the door, “It was a good attempt, Ty.”

“You know she’s going to make us ride everything in the park.”

“I know,” Tails said. “But what are we going to do about it? Make the best of it and we’ll get to go on our own tomorrow.”

Tyrael shrugged. “Yeah, we’ll see.”

The ride attendants split them into groups of four to fit into the cars. Roses, Ann, Sally, and Roseidous happened to be put in the last one.

“These seats aren’t very comfortable,” Ann squirmed around on the hard, blue, plastic.

“Oh, it’s only a sixteen minute ride,” Roses said. “And it’s all about the whole history and future of the global communications system. Very educational. We could learn something for when we rule the world.”

“We already have a communications system between here and the Moonbase,” Ann said. “How much more research do we need?”

“It’s always good to learn new things,” Roses said over the voice of the recorded guide, who was currently telling them not to stand while the ride was in motion.

Roseidous leaned up from the back seat. “Is every ride in this park educational?”

“Yep,” Roses nodded. “Everything is. Even the Test Track ride.”

“Oh. Um, that’s good. I guess.”

“Of course. Now be quiet, it’s starting.”

"Journey with us now to the dawn of recorded time..." a male voice said.

“That’s Jeremy Irons. The voice of Scar in the Lion King,” Roses whispered to Ann.

“Like a grand and miraculous spaceship, our planet has sailed through the universe of time,” Jeremy Irons continued. “And for a brief moment, we have been among its many passengers. From the very beginning, we have always sought to reach out to one another ... to bridge the gaps between us ... to communicate.”

The car traveled through a display of cave drawings, exact replicas of those found in the Salon-Niaux cave in Ariège, France. The next room showed a scene from the New Kingdom of Egypt where papyrus was invented. Roses told their car that the hieroglyphics on the walls were copied from real Egyptian tombs and that the robotic pharaoh was actually saying words from an ancient letter. Next up were the Phoenician trading ships, followed by the Renaissance in Italy, the Sistine Chapel Ceiling, Ancient Greece, Dark Ages and Destruction of Rome, the Age of Enlightenment, and the invention of the printing press. From there, the ride quickly went through the invention of television, motion pictures, and the Internet. It showed how the entire world was now connected and suggested that, in the future, people living on different planets would have instant communication.

Finally, the car turned around backwards and traveled down, giving them a view of a sky filled with stars. "We all share the common bonds of hopes and sorrows and dreams and joys,” Jeremy Irons said.

Meanwhile, in the lead car, Tails, Katherine, Tyrael, and Holli continued to discuss their forced together-ness.

“I’m saying that we live together all the time. We should at least be given the option to vacation separately, whether we choose to or not,” Tyrael said.

“Especially you, Ty,” Holli reached up and pulled his hair. “You need a vacation from us, right?”

“Right,” Tails answered for him, grinning.

“Well, no,” he tried to cover. “Just sometimes.”

“Aw, he’s being nice, Holli.”

“Ty, you know we’re still tying you up later.”

“I’m sure.”

“He’s looking forward to it,” Tails teased.

“Okay, that was more than I needed to hear,” Katherine said.

At the unloading station, they climbed out of their car and onto the moving platform. It took them around to the ride’s exit, where they waited for the rest of the group. Roses led them past the Innoventions East building and made a left.

“What in there?” Mr. Packard asked.

“I’m glad you’re so interested, but it’s usually just demonstrations of stuff. Like Segway scooters. That kind of thing.”

“Hey, maybe we should go demonstrate our prototype robots,” Tails glanced down at Billy Jo.

“Squeaker! Squeak!”

“Quack!”

“Oh, don’t get all excited, Bubba. I was just kidding.”

“And, here we are,” Roses pointed at a large building. In front of it, a mirror ball and glass tiles reflected water from a small pool. A sign above the pool read: Universe of Energy. “This ride is long, about 45 minutes, but it’s really funny.”

The Universe of Energy focused on a movie called Ellen's Energy Adventure. They started in a standing theater where Ellen DeGeneres talked to the audience. Her neighbor Bill Nye the Science Guy dropped by to borrow some sugar in the middle of her monologue. She ignored him and turned on Jeopardy. The contestant on the show happened to be her old college roommate, Dr. Judy Peterson, played by Jamie Lee Curtis. Ellen seemed annoyed that Judy was so smart, turned off the TV, and decided to take a nap on the couch. This, of course, meant there was going to be a dream sequence.

Dream-Ellen found herself on the set of Jeopardy. Unfortunately, her dream became a nightmare when she found the returning champ was Dr. Peterson. The other challenger was Dr. Albert Einstein. Alex Trebek read the title of the categories, all of which dealt with one thing--energy.

Horribly losing the first round, Ellen went backstage to find Bill Nye the Science Guy, who told her he could help her learn all about energy. But they would have to go back in time.

With that, the doors opened and the theater full of people separated into six 97-passenger vehicles. They drove into the first room, which had three, 70mm screens, 157 feet wide by 32 feet tall. These screens showed the Big Bang theory in action. Very loudly. The vehicles then traveled through primeval dioramas, complete with prehistoric flora, fauna, and a terrified robotic-Ellen. Dinosaurs were the main attraction, and included a fight between a Tyrannosaurus Rex and a Stegosaurus.

After the dioramas, the cars entered another theater and passengers viewed a final motion picture on three screens, each 30 feet tall and 74 feet wide and curved to create a 200-degree range of vision. Bill Nye and Ellen flew a helicopter and drove around various places to learn about the different types of energy available. They discussed problems, solutions, and future energy sources for the people of Earth.

Back at the Jeopardy stage set, Ellen quickly joined into the game and earned some money. She answered the final question correctly and beat “Stupid Judy.”

“When they said that ride was forty-five minutes, they meant it, didn’t they,” Mr. Packard complained to Vinnie once they were all back outside.

Vinnie shrugged.

“Roses, I’m hungry,” Roseidous said.

“Me, too,” said Tyrael.

“We have one more stop to make before lunch. Then I’ll feed you,” Roses told them.

“What is more important than feeding Bubba?”

“Test Track, of course. Come along.”

“Wait, what’s that?” Holli pointed at a large, geometric sculpture to their left.

“Oh, that’s the entrance to Mission: Space. We’re not all going on it together, though, because it simulates a real rocket launch and mission to Mars. It makes a lot of people throw up when they ride it.”

“What if the rest of you wait outside while some of us ride it, then?”

“That’s not fair to make everyone else wait. You can come back on your free day to ride it, if you want.” Roses turned away and towards Test Track.

Holli pouted, but walked with the group.

They went up to a taller building with a racetrack wrapped around the second floor. Every few seconds, a car would zip over their heads. Al watched nervously. The interior of the building resembled a noisy industrial testing laboratory filled with actual test equipment and vehicle components. The automotive tests performed on cars and trucks showed new General Motors automotive technology, and the Safety Zone displayed GM safety innovations and practices. The line inside wound its way through several displays including brake, wheel, suspension, airbag, seat belt and windshield tests.

“It even smells like a garage in here,” Holli wrinkled her nose.

“What?” Katherine asked over the noise of some machine pounding on the hood of a car.

“I said it smells in here!”

“Like a second home to me,” Roseidous took a deep breath. “This is my kind of educational ride. Very manly.”

“Rosey, you don’t even run your own vacuum cleaner, much less check the oil in the camp’s van. Second home. Yeah, right,” Ann said.

“Aren’t you cranky today? Sally and I don’t appreciate your attitude.”

“Blame it on lack of sleep and food.”

“You’ll be just fine,” Roses told her.

A ride attendant, dressed in a yellow and black, checkered shirt, gestured for them to enter the pre-ride area and closed the door behind them. Inside, a pleasant woman on a TV monitor told them that they were acting as test dummies for the day. She showed them how to climb into the car and fasten their seat belts.

“I bet you’re wondering what sorts of tests we have for you, right?” she asked. “Well, for that, we’ll turn to my friend Bill, over in the research department. Bill, what’s up for today?”

The screen changed to an equally pleasant man. “Hey, Sherry, we're going to start them off on an accelerated hill climb. Now, these steep grades give us a chance to evaluate the effects of heat and stress on your engine and on the transmission.”

Sherry programmed the test into the computer. “Okay.”

“Next, your vehicle is going to go over a variety of rough road surfaces. These are designed to test the integrity of the suspension and the chassis.”

“And it's going to get a bit bumpy,” Sherry cautioned.

“Yeah,” Bill agreed. “Next you're going to see and feel what it's like when your brakes lock up and you lose control of the steering. Not such a good feeling but hang in there because we're going to do the test one more time, this time with the ABS or the anti-lock brakes.”

Sherry was still typing. “Okay. What's next?”

“Let's do some environmental tests. Put up two, five, and seven.”

“Seven? That’s the corrosives test, you know.” She gave the camera a skeptical look, much like the ones Roses was receiving from people in her group. “Are you sure?”

Al looked concerned. “Acid rain?”

“Oh, please. It’s not real,” Roses reassured them. “Or is it?”

“That’s not nice,” Tyrael frowned.

Bill was still talking. “Yeah, seven. After that, we'll take you out for some handling runs.”

“Off road or cornering?” Sherry asked.

“Let's do the cornering. Um, I'm going to send you through some hairpin turns and then we'll take you out and do the high-speed loops. And depending on how your vehicle and you hold up, we'll even throw a few surprise tests in there.”

“Surprise tests?”

“Yeah, you pick one.”

Sherry typed something at her computer and an image of a crash barrier test appeared on the screen. Roses grinned while some of the others looked nervous.

“Now, if this whole routine seems a bit extreme, you're absolutely right, but that's what a test track is all about. The cars you drive at home are made up of over 15,000 different parts and every one of them has to pass the test under very extreme conditions before we ever let it off that test track and out onto the road. Now, as you can imagine safety is a big concern of ours so we're going to insist that you buckle up your safety belt securely,” Bill told them.

Sherry laughed, “You'll be glad you did.”

She confirmed the order of the tests and opened the doors to the ride. After a short wait, they divided into groups to fit into the six-person cars.

“Want to drive?” Roses offered the driver’s seat position to Ann.

Ann shrugged and climbed over, followed by Roses and Mr. Packard. Tyrael and Al climbed into the back seat of their vehicle. The six clones had a car to themselves while Bubba took up the back seat of another car with Vinnie, Stan, and Murry fastened into the front.

“I can’t see,” Murry complained.

“Hang on a minute,” Vinnie said, trying not to move his lips. “When the ride starts, I’ll pick you up.”

Holli jumped into the driver’s seat of a final car along with Tails, Katherine, Roseidous, Sally, and Billy Jo.

Ann’s car left the loading dock first. It rounded a corner for the hill-climb. Engines roaring and tires squealing, it raced up a steep incline to the third floor. Next was the suspension test. The car rattled over a series of various road surfaces. Two passes through a circular set-up of traffic cones showed how a wildly-out-of-control skid could become a manageable steer with antilock brakes.

Their car drove into three different self-contained rooms. The first used harsh sun lamps to generate very hot temperatures. The second room had ice and wind. The third had industrial robots spray them with a fake acid mist.

“There’s an actual temperature difference of 100 degrees between those first two rooms,” Roses said.

The car moved on to a fake mountain road. It sped around corners to see how well the steering and handling worked. Unfortunately, a fake log truck was barreling from the other direction. Their car swerved off the road and crashed through an imitation barrier.

The last test was acceleration. Outside the building, the car paused for a moment before hurtling down the track. In just a few seconds, the car reached a speed of 65 miles per hour. Then it was back inside to the unloading station.

“See? It was fun,” Roses told them. “And now, as promised, I will feed you. Follow me!”

***

“Welcome to the World Showcase!” Roses said, gesturing around the lake. “We will walk around the entire lagoon and visit Mexico, Norway, China, Germany, Italy, American, Japan, Morocco, France, the United Kingdom, and Canada. And while I’m of the opinion that they should add countries like Australia, Brazil, India, and Kenya to name a few, I do enjoy what they have. Except Canada. There’s nothing to do in Canada.”

“Well, is there really?” Ann shrugged.

“That is all that needs to be said,” Roses grinned. “First up is one of my favorite pavilions. Mexico. Oh, and everyone pay close attention. You’ll need to provide me with a favorite country so that you can live there when we take over the world.”

They approached the giant Aztec pyramid, modeled after a real one dedicated to the god Quetzalcoatl at Teotihuacan. Serpents’ heads at the entrance were there to represent the god of life. Inside the entrance, there were exhibits of artifacts from various periods of Mexican history. The inside of the pyramid was huge, extending further down and back than the outside. Once inside the main area, they entered what seemed to be a real marketplace at night. There were no lights from the ceiling to illuminate the various shops and houses lining the walls of the building. Roses led them around small carts to the end of the market. Opposite from the entrance, there was a restaurant. Tables lined a real river winding through the building. A plaster volcano with red lights glowed on a tiny stage on the other side of the river.

“This is really cool,” Tails conceded. “I didn’t think it would be, but it is.”

“Indeed,” Tyrael agreed.

“Yeah, I feel like I’m outside and I know I’m not,” Holli said.

“The river is actually part of a ride. It’s sort of like “It’s a Small World,” but with all Mexican themes and puppets.” Roses said.

Ann gave her a doubtful look.

“And regardless of whether you like the rest of the ride or not, you absolutely have to see the view from the river. Come on.”

The ride, called River of Time, was hidden over behind a shop, but Roses led them straight to it. They climbed into four-person boats and floated gently through an archway.

“Wow,” Ann said.

“Yep. Told you.”

The volcano shone on their left, but that wasn’t the best part. On their right, they could see the tables closest to the river, candles shining in the middle. They could see shimmering tin lanterns with lacy patterns punched through them hanging on wires above the diners. And they could see the blue-black sky of the ceiling. But they couldn’t see anything else. Not the marketplace, people, any of the light from outside. It really was like being in a boat, next to a tiny town, at night.

“This is great,” Roseidous said from the back of the boat. “Very romantic.”

“Um. Don’t start making out with Sally or anything, Rosey. It would ruin the mood. For us and the people who can see our boat.”

They drifted through another archway and into other rooms. Mechanical dolls, dressed in full costume sang and danced while videos of scenes from Mexico played in the background.

“Ack! More happy singing!” Ann covered her ears.

***

Back out in the bright sunlight, Roses continued walking to the left. “Next up is Norway.”

A rather imposing building sat at the entrance to a picturesque town square.

“That’s a church,” Roses said. “It’s called the Gol Stave Church and it’s a model of a real one, of course. Here, I’ll read about it: The Norwegians built the first Stave Churches, or Stavkirke, around the year 1050. When St. Olaf brought Christianity to Norway, the Norwegians turned to the craft they knew best, woodworking, to build their new churches. They blended Christian symbols with Viking images to create these impressive buildings. Note the wooden dragon heads decorating the eaves. Other European countries built wooden churches, but only Norway's are still standing. Of the 1,000 Norwegian Stave Churches built in the Middle Ages, 28 survive today. There’s a museum of artifacts from Norway inside, but we don’t have time for that. There’s another boat ride in one of these buildings.”

“Oh, yay, more singing children,” Ann said to no one in particular as they walked inside.

“Not having much fun, either?” Holli asked.

“You mean this isn’t fun?”

“It’s not that, it’s…well…it’s just…okay, it is that. All of this is interesting, I suppose, if you like this sort of stuff. Roses does, I know, but the rest of us could be doing other things, right?”

“I guess,” Ann shrugged.

“And can you ask her not to read all that stuff out of the guidebook all the time?”

“Oh, she’s not. She asked me to hold the guidebook while she was in the bathroom and half of that stuff is coming out of her own head. She probably read it somewhere, but there’s not that much in the book.”

“Great.”

“Yeah.”

Using their special passes, they quickly arrived at the front of the line.

“This isn’t just a boat ride,” Roses told them. “It’s called Maelstrom. There are waterfalls and storms at sea and that kind of stuff. No children singing, Ann.”

“Oh. I um…didn’t mean that. I’m having a great time.”

“Good.”

They got into the dragon-headed 16 passenger boats, patterned after those of Eric the Red and his fellow explorers. The boat immediately plummeted down a short waterfall and into an arctic landscape. An animatronic polar bear roared at them. The next room was a peaceful forest. But not for long. A giant troll refused to let them pass over a bridge and diverted their path. It reached out and pushed their boat backwards down a second waterfall. They landed in the middle of a stormy sea, the boat rocking back and forth in the waves. A modern-day oil rig loomed eerily in the simulated fog.

The boat coasted to a stop at the unloading dock.

“We don’t have time to stay and watch the movie about Norway,” Roses ushered them straight through the theater to the exit. “You can come back later, if you want.”

“Yeah, right,” Katherine whispered to Vinnie, who nodded.

“Okay, let’s go to China!”

A few meters away from Norway was an intricately detailed, red and gold archway. Buildings had red tiled roofs that gracefully curved upwards at the corners. A series of bridges spanned a calm pool with water lilies. And in the center, a perfectly round, three-tiered temple. Perfectly symmetrical blue, white, and gold patterns covered the entire structure.

“It looks like a very expensive Easter egg. Sort of,” Tails said. “Like, what do they call those things?”

“Faberge eggs?” Vinnie suggested. When people turned to stare at him, he shrugged. “I can’t be cultured?”

“Anyway, this temple is only half the size of the real one,” Roses lectured. “The real Temple of Heaven is near Beijing. They had to scale down those patterns and everything. There’s not much to do here unless you want to look around the gardens and museum. If you go inside the temple, there’s a space marked on the floor. Because of the perfect acoustics, you can hear yourself talk. It’s bizarre. And they show a movie about China in 360 degrees.”

“Well, if that’s all, I say we move on to the next country,” Holli suggested.

“You’re sure no one wants to go see the museum of traditional Chinese clothing? It’s the best one in America.”

“Nah,” Ann said. “Let’s keep going. What country is next?”

***

“This is Germany,” Roses said. “Where it is always Oktoberfest time. But we’re going to walk straight through it. There’s nothing here but shopping and restaurants. It’s also one of the few places that serves beer.”

“Oooh!”

“No, Holli.”

“But-“

“Nope.”

“Holli, we’re not old enough, anyway,” Tails pointed out.

“But still.”

“If you’re listening,” Roses continued, “you can hear the glockenspiel playing a melody specifically written for the World Pavilion. And that statue of the knight is St. George. The guy who killed the dragon, you know.”

“Look! It’s a train!” Roseidous hurried over to a low fence.

Indeed, behind the fence was a model train set. The miniature track and village were meticulously detailed. A bridge created a footpath over the set for those who wanted an aerial view.

“Can we stay and watch it for a minute, please, Roses?”

“Nope, Rosey, we have lots to see still. Must keep moving along.”

“Oh, I know where this is,” Ann said, as they entered the next country. “Venice, right?”

“Yep. Italy,” Roses nodded. “This is a replica of St. Mark’s square in Venice. You can see the Doge’s palace. The marble is imitation, by the way. The bell tower chimes on the hour, there’s a replica of the winged lion column, in the piazza back there is a fountain of Neptune, and, of course, the gondola docks out in the lagoon. Again, nothing to do here except eat and shop. I plan to come back here on my free day and shop the entire World Showcase, should anyone like to join me. They have great Carnevale masks.”

“And next?” Holli seemed more excited now that they were moving quickly through the countries.

“America,” Roses pointed at Independence Hall. “We’re going inside to watch the show.”

“Oh.”

Inside the classical English Georgian building, paintings and quotations lined the walls of the Main Hall, the West Hall, and the Upper Lobby. The quotes were from famous people, such as Walt Disney, Charles Lindbergh, Archibald MacLeish, Herman Melville, and Thomas Wolfe. Taking the escalators up to the theater room, a total of 44 flags hung over the visitors’ heads. They represented flags that had flown over the United States in all of its forms, including Revolutionary War flags, Colonial flags, and foreign flags that once had claim to the land.

Inside the theater, Roses made sure they had seats in the back. Bubba would be very distracting for those sitting behind him.

“Look at the sculptures along the walls,” she told the person beside her, who happened to be Mr. Packard. “They represent concepts like Individualism, Innovation, Tomorrow, Independence, Compassion, and Discovery. They talk about them in the final song.”

“They’re great! I do love this place. Very educational!”

“I said the same thing! Do you think the others are having fun? I really want them to have a good time. That’s why I’m making sure we see everything.” Roses appeared momentarily worried.

“Um…I’m sure they are!”

She looked relieved. “Good. I’d hate for them to be disappointed.”

The lights dimmed for the show to start. It was hosted by animatronic Benjamin Franklin and animatronic Mark Twain. Benjamin Franklin even climbed some stairs at one point into Thomas Jefferson’s study, a very impressive feat for a mechanical man. Scenes in the show included: the Pilgrims and the Mayflower; the Boston Tea Party; the writing of the Declaration of Independence; Valley Forge and the Revolutionary War; slavery and the Civil War; the suffering of Native Americans; the Philadelphia Centennial Exposition; the founding of Yosemite National Park; World Wars I and II; and a series of images depicting the people and events of recent history.

“This music is fantastic!” Mr. Packard leaned over to say.

“Yeah, they sell the soundtrack, if you’re interested,” Roses told him before turning back to the show.

After the patriotic finale, Roses made a pit stop at the nearest kiosk. “Funnel cakes. One of my weaknesses,” she explained. “Anyone else?”

***

“This must be Japan. And though I hesitate to ask…” Tyrael said to Tails and then spoke up. “Roses? What is that thing in the water? You know, right?”

“Yes, Ty, I do know. It’s called a torii gate. And behind us is the Goju-no-to pagoda, inspired by a shrine built at Nara in 700 A.D. The five levels stand for the elements earth, wind, water, fire, and sky. Let’s head over behind it and into the gardens. As you know, Japanese gardens are very precisely landscaped. It’s beautiful back there and the perfect place for us to take a short break.”

“Is that a bath house?” Roseidous asked, looking over to the right.

“Yes, but it’s really a big gift shop and restaurant, Rosey. So no bathing for you in there. Inside, there’s also a museum of tin toys if anyone wants to take a quick look while we sit in the gardens. The time is now 3:30 and we will be moving out at 4:00. No exceptions.”

***

“And this is Morocco,” Roses continued their tour. “Most pavilions here, including the rides and countries are funded by corporations. As you saw in the World of Energy, Exxon helps to pay for its maintenance and such. However, the country of Morocco itself funds the Moroccan pavilion. They wouldn’t let anyone but people from Morocco construct the buildings because they are replicas of sacred buildings in the country. Like the Koutoubia Minaret, or prayer tower, that you can see. The King of Morocco sent his royal craftsmen to lay all the tile work, carvings and paintings in the pavilion. None of the buildings have lights on them, because the government won’t allow it. The architecture represents three cities: Casablanca, Fez, and Marrakech. Now, all of you go and look around the shops while I find out about a tour.”

“Must we?” Holli sighed as Roses hurried off to find an employee and some of the others headed for the air-conditioned shops.

“I don’t know about you, but I’m getting tired of being educated for the day,” Roseidous said.

“Yeah, Rosey, your brain can only handle so much. Roses should know better,” Katherine teased.

“Hey, look!” he ignored her. “It’s Princess Jasmine!”

“Oh, dear,” Tails said, watching him hurry over to get her autograph. The actress looked momentarily confused by Sally, but recovered quickly. “Holli, should we go rescue her?……Holli?……Hello?”

Tails turned around to see Holli staring at a different character. “Tails, we have to go talk to him. Come with me!”

“Holli, it’s a guy dressed up like Aladdin. You can go get his autograph if you want.”

“But he’s hot!”

Tails looked again. “You know, he is hot. Let’s go!”

“So. Vinnie,” Katherine said to the only person left standing by the lagoon. “Having a good time, are you? Haven’t heard much out of you since we got here.”

“Nothing to say,” he shrugged. “I’d rather be back at camp, but it’s okay.”

“I expect you’re tired of hanging out with insane people.”

“Hey, compared to where I grew up, this is nothing.”

“Oh, really?”

“I lived and traveled with the circus until I was old enough to set out on my own, if you must know.”

“Hmm. Yes, I guess that qualifies as strange. No wonder you fit in so well with the Tri-Leaders.”

“Yes. I was also there when Molly met Ringo for the first time. Ringo was in the clown act, you know. But they don’t know that. Don’t tell them.”

“It does all make some sort of odd sense. Of course I won’t say anything,” Katherine nodded.

“Where is everyone?” Roses demanded, walking back towards them.

“They’re um…in the shops…like you said,” Katherine waved a hand vaguely. “And getting autographs.”

“Ah, yes. Right. Well, they aren’t giving tours today, for some reason,” Roses frowned. “So we’ll be moving on.”

Everyone gathered up, and Aladdin and Jasmine rescued from the adoring stares of their admirers, they set out for France. Stan had managed to find time to exchange his sombrero for a fez. Murry had, for some reason, agreed to wear the sombrero until they got back to the hotel. Bubba and Billy Jo seemed to find this quite amusing, although no one would say what exactly had happened in the store.

“We’re going in here,” Roses gestured at a large, obviously French building. “It’s the Palais du Cinema and has a big screen with 200 degree vision of aerial shots of France. It’s all set to classical music and is, in fact, the first motion picture to have its soundtrack recorded digitally. We’ll see stuff from Normandy, the Loire Valley, Cognac, Cannes, Paris, and others. According to the guidebook.”

Eighteen minutes later, they were back outside in the park.

“It’s beautiful here,” Holli conceded. “The prettiest place so far. I might pick France as my country.”

“I liked Germany,” Roseidous said. “Because it had a train.”

“Yes, Rosey, we know.”

“These gardens are modeled after the ones in the painting ‘A Sunday Afternoon on the Island of La Grande Jatte’ by pointillist artist Georges Seurat,” Roses, of course. “The landscape here has a single objective: to reflect an urban ambiance, particularly springtime in Paris. Street trees along the central boulevard are positioned and pruned to enhance the illusion of distance. Notice all the pastel flowers giving it an impressionistic flavor and reinforcing the theme. Think of Monet.”

“The Monet Code!” Ann said.

“Um, right.” Roses paused for a moment. “Anyway, the Eiffel Tower is an example of forced perspective. It’s a one-tenth replica using Gustav Eiffel's original blueprints. If you looked at the Eiffel Tower today, it would have similar coloring to the Statue of Liberty in New York. However, here in Epcot, the Eiffel Tower is more tan and pinkish. The reason is the France Pavilion here represents the late 1800s and the Eiffel Tower is the same color it would have been then.”

“That’s um, interesting,” Tails said.

“Sorry this if off-topic, but does anyone else smell fish?” Mr. Packard asked. “Or is that just me?”

“No, it’s not you,” Roses pointed. “The United Kingdom is next and they have an outdoor stand that serves fish and chips, bangers and mash, stuff like that.”

“Say that again!” Ann said, while the Junior Tri-Leaders giggled.

“What? Oh, you people. It’s not funny.” Roses led them over a small bridge and into the United Kingdom pavilion.

“I’m hungry,” Roseidous said.

“Quack!”

“I’m not feeding you again until we get to the underwater restaurant at the Living Seas Pavilion. Deal with it.”

“But..”

“So anyway, there’s a lot of architecture in this pavilion. The buildings are Victorian, London, Yorkshire Manor, Tudor, Georgian, Hyde Park, Regency and even a Shakespearean cottage design. And if you look at the second story of some of the buildings, you will see how it comes out over the street level. In the 1600s, taxes were based on ground floor space, so people built larger rooms on the second floor. There are replicas of two castles, King Henry's Court and Sir Walter Scott. And then, if you take a look at…”

“It’s…it’s…” Holli began.

“It’s what?” Ann looked concerned. “Everything all right, there?”

“It’s the Beatles!”

Everyone turned to look. Sure enough, John, Paul, George, and Ringo were crossing the street in front of the pub, towards a red telephone booth.

Roses rolled her eyes and turned back around. “They’re just actors. Mary Poppins is around here, too, somewhere.”

“But, the Beatles!” Holli insisted. “I have to get their autographs!”

Despite protests from Roses, she dashed across the street towards the performers. Mr. Packard followed her, shouting back something about how he loved Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band.

Roses gave up and ran after them, everyone else following in the chase. The four actors looked terrified to see the people, animals, and other things barreling towards them. They fled behind one of the castles and into the gardens, Holli and Mr. Packard right behind them. Roses skidded to a stop.

“What?” Ann asked.

“That’s the hedge maze they just went into,” Roses said.

“So?”

“So, we’ll all get lost and confused inside and spend forever trying to get back out and to the next stop.”

“True, but someone has to go and get them out.”

“Okay, fine,” Roses said. “Split up when we’re inside. But hurry, please, we do have a schedule to keep.”

Inside the maze, the pathways were fairly cool in the late afternoon sun. However, it was such a good maze that it was impossible to tell where you’d come in and where you could go next. There were frequent shouts of surprise when two people rounded a corner and came face-to-face with each other.

After such an encounter with Billy Jo, Ann had a brilliant idea. “This is ridiculous. Billy Jo, can you climb these walls or not?”

“Squeak!”

“Then, I give you permission to do so. Get up there and tell people where to go!”

He saluted and ran up the nearest hedge. After looking around for a moment, he pointed left.

“Good job,” Ann said. “Lead on!”

***

“But I never got their autographs!” Holli complained.

“Holli, listen very carefully,” Tails told her friend. “Those were not the real Beatles. They were actors. And it will be okay. We only have one more country left to see.”

“Really?” that seemed to brighten Holli’s mood. “Which one?”

“Canada.”

“Oh.”

“Yes, our neighbors to the north,” Roses said. “The large building you see is Hotel du Canada, patterned after the French Gothic design of the Chateau Laurier in Ottawa. You can also see the totem poles in front of it. We could go inside and see the 360 degree movie about Canada, or we could walk around to see the forced perspective used on the model of the Rocky Mountains, but since we wasted time in the United Kingdom, we have to keep moving.”

“Are um...those guys wearing kilts?” Holli asked.

“Yes, Holli, they are a performing band called Off Kilter who play New Age Celtic Music, whatever that means. But we have no time for that. We have now completed our tour of the World Showcase. When we get home, your first assignment will be to write a brief essay, telling me which country you want to be in charge of and why. Now, let’s go to the largest pavilion of them all, The Land.”

***

Outside The Land, a fairly steep ramp rose up towards the front doors. Along the sides of the ramp were mosaics, 134 feet long with individually shaped pieces of marble, granite, slate, glass and gold to represent the layers of the Earth that lead to the great hall.

Inside, they had to follow a balcony along the top story of the building and take some stairs down the great hall. The central focus of the hall was the large fountain in the middle. Above it hung five giant balloons. As Roses told them, the middle one represented Earth. The four surrounding balloons represented the seasons: yellow for summer, orange for fall, blue for winter, and green for spring. Under the Earth balloon were clouds and a lightning bolt. As it rained from the middle balloon, the water fell into the fountain below and then recycled through the pavilion.

The music in the pavilion was also themed. Songs played in a continuous cycle and included "Allegheny Moon," "Blue Moon," "Carolina Moon, "How High the Moon," Moon Medley, "Moon River," "Moonlight Bay," "Moonlight Becomes You," "Moonlight Serenade," "No Moon at All," "Old Devil Moon," "Paper Moon," "Polka Dots and Moonbeams," "Sing in the Sunshine," "Got the Sun," "Sonny," "Sunny Side of the Street," "Sunrise, Sunset," "Sunshine on My Shoulders," "Wait ‘Til the Sun Shines Nellie," "You Are My Sunshine," and "You are the Sunshine of My Life."

Roses led them to the featured ride inside the pavilion called Living With The Land. She briefly spoke to the attendant and secured their own tour boat and guide.

“Good afternoon!” the guide, a young man, said, as they settled into various benches on the large tour boat.

“You’re cute,” Holli told him.

“Um…thanks, miss,” he pushed the lever forward and they started to move. He began his rehearsed speech. “Welcome, Disney guests, to Living With the Land. We will briefly see some short films about agriculture in various world environments, or biomes.”

And they did just that. The boat drifted slowly past some dioramas of the biomes while videos of farmers and techniques in that environment played on screens behind them.

“Okay, farming?” Ann whispered to Roseidous. “This has got to be the most boring thing all day.”

“Shhh!” Mr. Packard said from the seat in front of her. “I’m trying to hear the guide!”

“At least someone is having a great time,” Ann said. She sat back in her seat and crossed her arms, frowning.

“Now, we will be entering a very special part of EPCOT,” the guide said. “We are going into the greenhouses to see a variety of new and innovative farming techniques. All of the food we grow here is served throughout our restaurants.”

First was the tropics greenhouse where they were growing crops such as rice, sugar cane, peanuts, cacao, and bananas, which are usually found in Southeast Asia, Africa, Latin America and the southern United States. Next up was the Aquacell, the facility for producing fish, alligators, catfish, tilapia, sunshine bass, and American eel.

The temperate greenhouse featured the concepts and technologies of sustainable agriculture, including intercropping, integrated pest management, and specialized irrigation systems that reduce waste and increase crop production. The production greenhouse was where tons of tomatoes, peppers, lettuce and other vegetables are grown for use in the restaurants.

“Land scientists utilize growing systems that are kinder to the environment and improve productivity,” the guide said.

And finally, they glided into the Creative House, to see imaginative ways to grow crops. They used hydroponics, which meant growing plants without soil. The roots were suspended into the air where a cool shower of water and nutrients could help the fruits and vegetables grow.

“USDA scientists currently are working at The Land to develop fruit with a longer shelf life,” the guide told them. “And that wraps up our tour for today. I hope you have enjoyed Living With The Land.”

Roses and Mr. Packard applauded. Roseidous, having fallen asleep, woke up and started clapping, too. Ann grabbed his hands to make him stop.

“Thanks for the tour, mister,” Holli winked at him. “Too bad it couldn’t be faster.”

“Holli!”

“Sorry, Roses. Forgot what I was saying there for a minute.”

Roses shook her head and gestured for them to climb out of the boat. “Upstairs is a theater where they show Timon and Pumbaa’s environmental adventure. Something like that. And they’re currently working on a new ride on the left side of the pavilion called Soarin.’ It’s an aerial tour of California and it feels like your hang gliding over the state. Shame it’s not open yet. So now we’ll head over to the Living Seas pavilion and eat in the underwater restaurant. If that’s okay with everyone?”

“I am hungry.”

“Quack!”

“I said that a long time ago.”

“Sounds good to me.”

“Then can we go home?”

“Squeak!”

“Ahahahaha #$%& fish!”

“Thank you, Murry.”

***

In front of the Living Seas building was a small pool and a rock, which, coincidentally, bore the inscription, The Living Seas. Every ten seconds or so, a wave, generated by a hidden machine, would crash over the rock. They went inside and followed the curving pathway. The floor was made to rise and sink as each person stepped on it, simulating the feeling of walking on a boat. Along the walls were glass cases with replicas, or sometimes originals, of artifacts from people who wanted to explore the ocean. Things included Alexander the Great's glass diving barrel, Sir Edmund Halley's first Diving Bell, and experimental diving suits that seemed very peculiar.

At the end of the line, an employee ushered them into the Hydrolators. About ten people could squeeze into one Hydrolator. Once inside, a voice announced, “Hydrolator Two ready for departure to Sea Alpha Base. Prepare to dive….diving!”

Through the small windows, the passengers could see bubbles rising towards the surface as their Hydrolator sank to rendezvous with the sea base.

“We’re not really moving,” Roses told the people in the room with her. “It’s simulated. We’ll go out the other side so that we don’t end up where we started.”

She was, of course, correct. The doors on the opposite side of the Hydrolator opened to allow them into the first floor of Sea Alpha Base.

“This is cool,” Tails said, hopefully. “Like a working sea base.”

“Yes,” Roses nodded. “They do a lot of research here. The latest technologies in ocean surveillance and management can be seen in use, including robotic submersibles, space-age diving suits and communications systems used by oceanographic institutes for monitoring the undersea world. Diver crews from Sea Base Alpha conduct experiments on marine mammal intelligence and on water chemistry within this ecosystem.”

“Um…cool. I guess,” Tails said and then leaned over to Katherine. “What did she just say?”

“They study sea life. I think.”

“Thought so.”

“This way to the restaurant!”

Food ordered, Roses allowed everyone to explore the sea base while they waited for their orders. On the first level, they could watch movies about sea life, try on old scuba diving suits, and see new equipment. On the second floor, they were completely surrounded by the world's largest saltwater aquarium tank, 203 feet in diameter and 27 feet deep. Within the tank they saw a man-made coral reef inhabited by sharks, tropical fish, rays, turtles, and dolphins, all exotic and colorful forms of life that normally colonize Caribbean reefs.

“I hope we’re not eating these fish,” Tyrael looked doubtful.

“Nah. Roses wouldn’t be having with that,” Roseidous said.

***

“Everyone good? You can see?” Roses asked, settling down on the grass near the lagoon. She pointed at something floating in the water. “I thought I’d rent one of those boats to take us out onto the lake for the Illuminations show, but I heard they weren’t so great. Can’t see the screens through all of the fog.”

“How does she know all of these things?” Roseidous asked Ann.

“I don’t know.”

“She’s your twin sister.”

“Yes, but I’m not claiming her today. Ask me later.”

“…and the water screens reflect the light and you can see the movies. Then the floats come out and…”

“Roses?” Holli interrupted. “Well, see, the thing is, a lot of us are really tired. It’s been a long two days. Lots of walking and all. Do you think that maybe some of us could go back to our rooms?”

“And miss Illuminations?”

“Well, yes?” Holli gestured at Tails, who was napping on Tyrael’s shoulder.

Roses sighed. “Anyone else?”

“I’m tired!” Ann stood up.

“Yeah, Sally says she is, too.”

“@#$*!”

“Squeak!”

“Quack!”

Giggling from Stan.

Vinnie shrugged.

Roses considered for a few seconds. She looked sadly at the lake and climbed to her feet. “Okay. Let’s go back to the hotels.”

“I’ll stay and watch it with you,” Mr. Packard offered.

“Thanks, but it’s okay. And I do expect everyone to be energized, happy, and excited tomorrow. You even get to sleep in. And we are staying for the Fantasmic show, whether you want to or not. End of discussion.”

***

Roses herded the entire group onto a bus headed for Disney’s MGM Studios. Fortunately, as it was later in the morning, they were the only people getting on. She waited for them all to get seated and briefly spoke to the driver. He nodded and handed her the intercom.

“Good morning, everyone. As for the Vic update, there is still no sign of him anywhere, as far as I know. We will continue to hope that he’s okay. Your behavior yesterday was decent and I am impressed. However, as there’s not all that much to do at this park, and we are not going to be there all day, we will be sticking together again,” Roses told them. “And I don’t want complaining. You will survive. And if the good behavior continues today, with no one getting lost, you will be allowed to go your separate ways tomorrow at The Animal Kingdom. That’s a big if.”

“Does she even know how much we hate sticking to her schedule all day?” Holli whispered. “Isn’t this supposed to be our vacation, too? I mean, what if I don’t want to ride the Tower of Terror. I mean, I do, but not when she tells me to.”

“Maybe it won’t be so bad to be stuck together again today. At least you know we’ll get to see everything in the park. She won’t let us miss anything good,” Tails tried to make the best of it.

“Tails, don’t tell me you agree with what she’s doing,” Holli raised her eyebrows. “You’re not saying you want to actually go along with her stupid schedule.”

“I’m saying it’s not that bad. Admit it.”

“It is kind of bad,” Katherine said.

“Yeah, really,” Tyrael agreed.

“Well, I don’t think it is,” Tails said, defensively.

“Tails, we are going to try and get away from her while she’s not looking. Are you coming?” Holli asked. “Or not?”

“No. I’m not.”

“Be that way, then. See if we want to hang out with you, anyway,” Holli glared.

“Obviously, I don’t want to hang out with you, either.”

“Fine!”

“Fine!”

“Fine!”

“Fine!”

“Fine!”

“Fine!”

“What is going on here?” Roses sat down across the aisle from them. “Don’t tell me the two of you are fighting. This is Disney World! Be happy! We get to ride the Tower of Terror tonight!”

“Oh, just shut up,” Holli muttered.

“What was that?”

“I was telling Tails to shut up.”

“Tails? Care to explain to me why she’s angry with you?”

“No, not really. It’s not a big deal. We’ll work it out, somehow,” Tails said.

“Well, you’d better. This is our vacation after all.”

***

The main street of MGM studios was designed to be Hollywood Boulevard. Decorations consisted of neon and chrome, art deco, and modern architecture dominating the scenery. To enhance the old-time atmosphere, Streetmosphere characters like 1930’s detectives, starlets, and gossip columnists, populated the streets, interacting with the crowds. Colorful shops and restaurants reinforced the feeling of the early 1900’s. The Hollywood Brown Derby, for example, faithfully recalled the landmark meeting place of the stars, right down to its menu.

As the group followed Roses down Hollywood Boulevard, immediately in front of them was the major landmark of this particular Disney World theme park. The giant Sorcerer Mickey Hat complete with lights and a stage underneath was originally built to mark Walt Disney World's 100 Years of Magic Celebration. Behind the hat was a replica of Mann's Chinese Theater. On the sidewalk next to the theater, Roses pointed out where numerous celebrities, including Robin Williams, Samuel L. Jackson, Sylvester Stallone, Billy Joel, and Christie Brinkley had left their handprints in cement.

“And inside the theater is our first stop of the day,” Roses told them. “It’s called the Great Movie Ride and we’ll get to see famous moments from movie history.”

“Fun,” Holli said.

“I like movies,” Roseidous said. “Just, not scary ones. Do they talk about scary movies?”

“Yes, Rosey, now come on. You can hide behind Sally. I’ll be she’s not scared.”

In the lobby of the theater, they could watch a repeating montage of vintage movie trailers while they waited for the next show. Also in the lobby were props from motion pictures, including the real carousel horse Julie Andrews rode in Mary Poppins.

The doors finally opened and they were allowed to climb into the touring cars.

“No comments before we start?” Ann asked Roses.

“Comments about what? The rides here aren’t as interesting as EPCOT.”

Roseidous turned around. “Are they educational?”

“Not really, no.”

“Ah. Okay.” He turned to face forward and put his arm around Sally’s shoulders.

Their tour guide got into the driver’s seat and grabbed the intercom. “Welcome aboard. At this time, I'd like to ask everybody to please remain seated throughout the show, and keep your hands and arms inside the vehicle at all times. And, for the safety of our cast, we ask that you please refrain from the use of flash photography and external video lighting. All right, now that we've taken care of business, let's talk about me. My name's John and-“

He stopped talking because all of the Tri-Leader group had burst into laughter. The rest of the guests in their tour group stared.

“John? Your name is John?” Holli giggled.

“Sorry, sorry,” Roses shushed them, even though she was laughing, too. “Sorry. Continue on.”

“Right. I'll be taking you through a magical journey into the movies. It's the perfect job for me because I love movies! Okay, is everybody ready?”

“Yes!” the people in the car shouted.

“Great, because the cameras are ready to roll. Ready when you are, C.B. ”

C.B., apparently the recorded announcer, said, “Action!”

John turned the engine on and put the car in gear. “And we're rolling!”

The song "Hooray For Hollywood" began to play.

“Hello everyone and welcome to The Great Movie Ride! Once again, my name is John,” pause. No comments from the back of car. “…and I'll be taking you from this Hollywood soundstage right into some of the greatest movies of all time. And just between you and me, this is no ordinary tour. So you won't be seeing these movies in the ordinary way; it'll be as if you're in the movies!”

Up ahead, they could see a pyramid of lovely chorus girls. Bubbles floated down onto the vehicle.

“Okay, now I don't know about you folks, but I just love the great Hollywood musicals of the 1930's. Here's Busby Berkeley's classic "Footlight Parade" starring James Cagney, Ruby Keeler, and Dick Powell. Busby Berkeley got his start directing parades for the U.S. Army during World War I.”

“Hey, Sally,” Roseidous whispered. “Take notes for me. Some of these girls are hot and we need some new clones, don’t we?”

“Rosey!” Ann said. “Be quiet!”

On the left, an animatronic Gene Kelly performed his famous "Singin' In The Rain" song and dance number.

“Come on with the rain, I've a smile on my face ...” he sang.

John spoke over him, “In 1952, Gene Kelly was singin' in the rain with Debbie Reynolds and Donald O'Connor. You know, not many people know this, but he was running a 103-degree temperature during the filming of this sequence. And did you know that he also directed this movie?”

Next, Mary Poppins and Bert sang "Chim Chim Cheree" with the chimney sweeps in a re-created set of London rooftops.

“Can anyone tell me what movie this is? How about you, young lady?” John asked a little girl in the front row with a princess costume on. Cinderella, from what Roses could tell.

“Mary Poppins, duh,” Katherine whispered.

“That's right, it's Walt Disney's Academy Award-winning film, "Mary Poppins", starring Julie Andrews and Dick Van Dyke.”

Julie Andrews sang, “Chim chiminey chim chiminey, chim chim cheree, when you're with a sweep, you're in glad company.”

“Nowhere is there a more 'appier crew,” Dick Van Dyke joined in.

The finished together, “Than them what sings chim chim cheree chim cheroo. Chim chiminey, chim chim, cheree chim cheroo.”

The car left the world of musicals and entered a dark, dirty back alley. A fight was going on in an apartment, seen only in shadow behind the window shades. Various city sounds filled the background, such as a woman shouting "Ah, shut up, you up there!"

John pretended to be worried. “Better hold on to your wallets and purses, folks, this doesn't look like a very good neighborhood. In fact, it looks a lot like the underworld, scene of such classic gangster films as "The Public Enemy", starring one of my favorite tough guys, Jimmy Cagney. In one famous scene, Cagney shoved a grapefruit into Mae Clark's face, ha ha. She could never look at breakfast the same way again. Those tough guys could turn anything into a weapon. Even though Cagney is considered one of the movies' greatest gangsters, he won his only Oscar for his role as song-and-dance man George M. Cohan in "Yankee Doodle Dandy." The working title of this movie was "Beer and Blood" and in the UK it was known as "Enemies of the Public."

“Did he say underworld?” Tails asked. “If this is the underworld, doesn’t Umar live here?”

“I thought that was Iso. Iso lives in the underworld.” Tyrael corrected.

“Speaking of Iso, we haven’t seen the Justice League in a while,” Holli thought. “Wonder what’s going on back East.”

Animatronic James Cagney appeared to the right, standing in a doorway. The car could hear snippets of dialogue as it passed him.

“Aw, you dirty, double-crossing - open up in there, you hear me?”

To the left, a pair of animatronic thugs were hiding behind some boxes. They seemed to be expecting trouble.

The first one whispered, “There's somebody coming! There's somebody coming! Get down!”

The second one looked at their vehicle. “Ah, it’s just a bunch o' rubberneckin' tourists.”

“You can do better than that!” Murry shouted. “You don’t any more @#$% curses! I could teach you a #$%(& thing or two!”

With that, their car came to a sudden halt. There was a streetlight above their heads.

John told them, “Sorry about the delay, folks, but I'm not running a red light, even if this is just movie.”

From the shadows, a real actor stood up and approached the car. “Hey! You!”

“Are you talking to me? Are you talkin' to me?” John demanded.

“No, tough guy! I'm talkin' to da dame in da funny-lookin' outfit over dere. Yeah, I'm talkin' to you. Come 'ere.”

“I'm not supposed to leave my vehicle.”

The gangster pulled out a gun. Vinnie jumped up, reaching for the tranquilizer darts. Al dove over the back of his seat to land in front of Ann, protecting his creator. Roseidous threw Sally in front of him. The clones shrieked. Roses grabbed Vinnie’s arm and yanked him back down into his seat.

“It’s just an actor!”

“Yeah, Al, get off,” Ann shoved him away.

“Um, so, as I was sayin’,” the gangster waved the gun. “I said come 'ere.”
John really did seem nervous now. He climbed out of his chair. “Whatever you say, Mugsy.”

“Hey, how did you know my name?”

“I've seen this movie before.”

“Well, da heat's on, see? And your fancy car's my ticket outta here. So beat it!”

“I can't just…” John gestured at the car.

“I said scram outta here, or you're gonna get hoit.”

“On second thought, I could use some popcorn.” He ran off into the shadows.

“Just like our John,” Katherine shook her head.

The first animatronic thug said, “Here dey come, boss! Get out your grinders!”

A 1930's model car screeched into the scene on the right. There were robotic gangsters inside, who started having a shootout with the thugs on the left. The tour vehicle was caught in the crossfire of machine guns. Rat-a-tat-tat! Rat-a-tat-tat!

Mugsy climbed into the visitors’ car. He noticed the streetlight, which still hadn’t changed to green. “Everybody sit tight. Red light? I hate red lights! Watch this, Mack,” he shot the light. “No more red light! Sorry boys, but it's time to go. See you 'round the cellblock, suckers!”

The drove away, towards the next scene.

Mugsy turned to the elderly woman closest to him. “What're you lookin' at? Everybody mind your p's and q's, and maybe nobody'll get hoit.”

Their car entered the following room, decorated to be an Western town.

“Whoa, what's this? Where am I? New Joisey?” Mugsy asked.

The recorded voice of C.B. said, “And now, the Old West, and two of Hollywood's legendary stars: Clint Eastwood and John Wayne.”

Animatronic Clint Eastwood stood to the right, in front of a saloon door and lighting a cigarette. Animatronic John Wayne was to the left, sitting on a horse. The car could hear some of what they were saying as they drove past.

“... fixin' to get myself shot. Hightail it outta here. Go right ahead if that's what you're a mind to do. A long time ago, I made me a rule. Let people do what they want.” John Wayne said.

“Sleepy little town, ain't it?” Mugsy said.

“Well, that's a mighty tough territory you're headin' into, pilgrim. I'd think about turnin' back if I were you.”

Mugsy turned his attention to the car. “Now that we're in da clear, dis is the poifect time for me to collect up your valuables. We'll start with da jewelry, and den move on to da hard cash.”

The voice of an unseen sheriff came from inside the saloon. “There he is! It's the bank robber! Don't let him get away!”

Shooting began from both sides of the vehicle, as the townsfolk mistook Mugsy for the bank robber.

Mugsy ducked. “Hey! I don't even woik dis neighborhood!”

Up ahead, the doors to the next scene were closed. Mugsy worried for a second about the dead end before hitting the gas to ram through them. The doors opened at the last possible second.

“Hey, I knew dem doors would open.”

“He is really starting to annoy me,” Ann said.

“Yeah, I’ve had better gangsters before,” Roses nodded.

The vehicle enters the next scene, the interior of a spaceship from the film "Alien."

“Whoa! I dunno about youse guys, but this is gettin' kinda creepy.”

C.B. spoke up again. “This is "Alien" . You are with Sigourney Weaver aboard the spaceship Nostromo. Something has gone wrong. One by one, the crew has vanished, and somewhere in the ship, a terrifying creature waits to claim its next victim.”

“I don't like the sound of that.” Mugsy pulled out his gun again.

“Warning!” C.B. said. “Remain in your vehicle. The area you are entering is extremely dangerous. Proceed with caution.”

Warning sirens started wailing. Lights flashed.

A female announced from the spaceship spoke, “Danger. The emergency destruct system is now activated. The ship will detonate in 5 minutes. The option to override the -“

“Look out!” Mugsy shouted.

The alien dropped down from overhead, and appeared to be attacking the vehicle. Drops of water or slime fell on the passengers.

“Gross!” Holli said.

Bubba experimentally tasted the slime. “Quack!”

“Dat is the ugliest thing I have ever seen. Youse guys back dere better watch it. Hahaha! Look, dere he is again! Hey lady, I think he likes ya.”

The vehicle safely escaped and made it into the "Raiders of the Lost Ark" scene, as music from the film played. On the right, Indiana Jones and an assistant struggled to lift the ark. On the left, snakes slithered and one even appeared ready to attack.

“Ya got your good days, and ya got your bad days. Dis is definitely a bad day.”

“Here, in "Raiders of the Lost Ark," amid a thousand deadly snakes, Indiana Jones unearths a great treasure. Will Harrison Ford escape with his discovery? And what will be your fate? Beware.” C.B. cautioned.

“Snakes! Why did it hafta be snakes? I hate snakes,” Mugsy complained.


The vehicle moved further into the scene, into an area with hieroglyphics on the walls. Up a steep set of stairs, a huge, glowing red jewel was set into a stone statue. A temple guardian stood nearby, his face obscured by a veil.

C. B. was still talking. “The dust of three thousand years lies undisturbed in this ancient burial chamber. And on the chest of the great stone god, a priceless jewel!”

Mugsy looked up. “Wow! Get a load o' dat chunk of ice! Come to papa! And you, my esteemed friends, don't nobody move while I heist dat jewel. I don't think they'd notice a few extra bodies around here, if ya know what I mean. Heheheh.”

He stopped the car, climbed out, and headed up the stairs while C.B. warned the guests that the jewel was guarded by a curse. And those who dared defy that curse must pay with their lives.

The temple guardian put his hand up to the gangster. “Halt, unbeliever! Disturb the treasure of the gods, and you shall all pay with your lives.”

The gangster grabbed the jewel anyway. With a flash of light and smoke, he disappeared. When the smoke cleared, they saw that the Temple Guardian was actually John, in disguise.

He returned to the vehicle. “I told you I was just going to get some popcorn! Now let's get on with the show.”

There was applause from the guests in the front of the vehicle. The Tri-Leaders, Junior Tri-Leaders, Katherine, and the Associates all had similar looks of skepticism on their faces. John ignored them and steered the car into a small, dark area filled with skeletons.

“Oooh, I see dead people,” he said. “The horror movie is my all-time favorite genre. Some of the best horror films were produced during the 1930s and '40s, but monsters, mutants, and maniacs are still audience favorites and continue to scare us today. Hey! Look everyone, mummies! The original "wrap" stars!”

Thankfully, nothing happened in the horror movie scene and they drove into a jungle set.

“We're now entering the home of one of the most beloved movie characters of all time. No, it's not George of the Jungle! Actually, it's Tarzan, portrayed here by Johnny Weissmuller.”

An animatronic Tarzan swung by on a vine to the right, giving his classic yell, while Jane sat on an elephant to the left, Cheetah the chimp nearby.

“Okay, now he’s hot,” Tails said.

“I saw him first,” Holli argued. “Hey, Mister John, can I get out and take a picture with him?”

“Um…no. Over there, we have Maureen O'Sullivan as Jane, and the lovely and talented Cheetah as herself. While Johnny Weissmuller is probably the best known Tarzan, he faced some tough competition for the title role in the first film, almost losing the role to Clark Gable, the future Rhett Butler. Jane was originally supposed to die in the film "Tarzan Finds A Son," because Maureen O'Sullivan didn't want to play the role anymore. However, a massive fan outcry forced producers to write a new ending, in which Jane survives her fatal wounds. She went on to portray Jane in two more films, "Tarzan's Secret Treasure" and "Tarzan's New York Adventure."

The next stop was a quick look at the "Here's looking at you, kid" scene from "Casablanca." Then it was on to the Fantasia scene.

“And here is Walt Disney's biggest movie star, Mickey Mouse, in one of his greatest roles, the Sorcerer's Apprentice in "Fantasia" . The sorcerer's name in this sequence is "Yen Sid," which is "Disney" spelled backwards.”

“I knew that!” Roses said.

“I believe you,” Mr. Packard nodded.

The next room was Munchkinland, from "The Wizard of Oz" . On the right, the feet of the deceased Wicked Witch of the East, still wearing her ruby slippers, stuck out from beneath Dorothy's farmhouse. Munchkins popped up from various places and sang "Ding dong, the witch is dead" in merry celebration.

“Not more happy singing!” Ann covered her ears. “I don’t like this song!”

“Toto, I have a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore!” John said. “It looks like we're "Somewhere Over The Rainbow" in one of the most beloved movies of all time, "The Wizard of Oz."

Suddenly, there was a puff of smoke, and the Wicked Witch of the West appeared. In animatronic form, naturally.

“Who killed my sister? Who killed the Witch of the East?” she turned to John. “Was it you?”

“No, no it was an accident, I didn't mean to kill anyone!”

“Well, my little pretty, I can cause accidents, too!”

“Oh rubbish, you have no power here. Be gone before someone drops a house on you, too.”

“Very well. I'll bide my time. But just try and stay out of my way. Just try! I'll get you, my pretty. And your little dog, too!” She cackled and disappeared in a puff of smoke.

“I like her!” Katherine said.

“Okay, the sooner we get out of Oz, the better. Which way do we go? What do you folks think?” John asked the animatronic Munchkins.

“Follow the yellow brick road!”

“Follow the yellow brick road. Why didn't I think of that? Everyone sing!”

The track indeed, became the yellow brick road. As most of the car sang, Roses and Mr. Packard included, they moved past a replica of the Emerald City and into a large room with a movie screen.

“And now,” John said. “Our grand finale. The greatest stars of the silver screen, and the films that made them famous.”

The film was made up of brief movie clips. Al Jolson in "The Jazz Singer" said ‘Wait a minute! You ain't heard nothin' yet.’ The Three Stooges in one of their films, well, probably all of their films, said ‘Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck.’ Eddie Murphy in "Trading Places" asked, ‘Is there a problem, officers?’ Marlon Brando in "The Godfather" said, ‘I'm gonna make him an offer he can't refuse.’ Arnold Schwarzenegger in "The Terminator" said, of course, ‘I'll be back.’ Judy Garland in "The Wizard of Oz": I have a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore. Barbra Streisand in "Funny Girl": Hello, gorgeous. Greta Garbo in "Grand Hotel": I want to be alone. Gloria Swanson in "Sunset Boulevard": We didn't need dialogue. We had faces. Marlon Brando in "A Streetcar Named Desire": Stellaaaaaaaa! Robin Williams in "Good Morning, Vietnam": Goooood morning, Vietnaaaaam! Bette Davis in "All About Eve": Fasten your seatbelts. It's going to be a bumpy night. C-3PO in "Star Wars": Oh my. I'd forgotten how much I hate space travel.

Once the film was finally over, their car drove up to the unloading station.

“On behalf of the Disney-MGM Studios, I'd like to thank you for joining us on The Great Movie Ride. But before we do wrap this production, we still have one more scene to do...and it's called The Exit. The action begins with you remaining seated until we come to a complete stop, then you gather all your personal belongings and take small children by the hair -- hand, by the hand. When these doors open, you will rise dramatically to your feet, and make a grand exit directly to the rear of the vehicle. Oh, one more thing, when I yell "Action!", don't forget the thunderous applause for yours truly. Okay, places, everybody! And ... Action!”

The guests applauded for John.

“Thank you, thank you, and have a magical day here at the Disney-MGM Studios!”

***

“So now we’re going to take a left,” Roses referred to her map. “Yes, left. Holli, not that way, left, I said!”

“Darn,” Holli, Tyrael, and Katherine stopped trying to sneak to the right.

The walked towards Echo Lake, distinguished by the towering Dinosaur Gertie who served up snacks and desserts. Walking around the lake, they encountered the Indiana Jones Epic Stunt Spectacular.

“Live show with death-defying stunts,” Roseidous read. “Are we stopping?”

“Nope, there’s a chance for audience participation in that show, which would be bad. I just know it would be. We’re going next door,” Roses pointed.

“Star Tours”

“That’s right. We’re going to Endor.”

The outside queue wound around an Ewok village, eventually leading underneath the enormous AT-AT walker standing guard at the entrance. Once inside, they walked through the hangar area of the intergalactic travel agency "Star Tours." C3PO was there along with R2D2, while small droids were transported overhead on conveyors, and still other droids performed equipment maintenance under the watchful eye of Admiral Ackbar. An employee directed the group to their transport area.

They heard several announcements over the intercom. "Egroeg Sacul, paging Mr. Egroeg Sacul", “Mr. Tom Morrow, you need to report to the main office. Mr. Tom Morrow,” and "Will the owner of the speeder with the license number THX 1138 please move their vehicle, you are in a no hover zone." Roses thought all of these were hysterical, but offered no explanations to the jokes.

They climbed into a private StarSpeeder 3000. They spread out throughout the seats, Roses of course taking a place in the front while Holli, Katherine, and Tyrael sat close to the exit. In the front of the car was a gray shield with the Star Tours logo on it. After a Disney Cast Member made sure everyone was buckled in, the ride began.

A small TV on the right came on and focused in on C3PO.

”Hello, I am C3P0, human-cyborg relations. Welcome aboard the StarSpeeder 3000.
Please make sure your safety restraints are securely fastened at this time. To fasten, pull the strap out from the right side of the seat, and snap it into the console to your left. Galactic regulations require that all carry-on items be safely stowed beneath your seats. Oh, and flash photography and smoking are absolutely prohibited while on board. Thank you, and do have a nice flight!"

Then another droid took over, voiced by Paul Reubens.

”Welcome aboard, this is Captain REX from the cockpit. I know this is probably your first flight...and it's mine too...heh. Well, it looks like it's going to be a smooth flight to Endor, so I'll go ahead and open the cockpit shield."

The shield in front of all the seats lowered, revealing Rex in person in the left corner of the ship. In the center of the ship was window to look out of and into space. All they could currently see was the door of their hangar.

”Hi there!” Rex said. “I see they're loading our navigator R2D2 and then we'll be on our way - so sit back, relax, and enjoy the flight."

The TV showed R2D2 being loaded into the top of the StarSpeeder. Then the ship shifted, the door opened, and they started to rise up to the runway.

A control tower voice said, "Star Tours forty-five, elevator platform, commence final pre-flight check."

”Roger, control, all status go,” Rex replied.

”Star Tours forty-five, you are cleared for takeoff. Contact departure control at
one-two-zero-point four."

”Copy one-two-zero point four."

They saw another StarSpeeder ship in front of theirs going into a place marked 'To launching area'. However, their ship made a sudden, jolting left turn and headed through some doors marked 'Maintenance Bay - Stay Clear'!

"Forty-five, you're going the wrong way! Stop immediately!" the control tower ordered.

"Uh-oh, wrong way. Brakes. Brakes! Where are the brakes? Ahhhhh!"

Rex couldn’t stop and their ship fell over a sharp drop into the maintenance area. It went through a hole in the back of the maintenance bay area into deep space. Over to the right, the ship that was in front of theirs on the runway jumped to light speed and is disappeared.

”Uh - I meant to do that. A little shortcut...ha ha! R2!”

R2D2 whistled.

"Light speed to Endor!"

On the front screen, stars zipped by at light speed. They were pushed back into the seats due to the acceleration for traveling at light speed.

“Woohoo!” Mr. Packard shouted.

“No, Sally, you are not going to be sick again,” Roseidous told her. “…because I said so.”

The TV flashed the message "Approaching Endor". Endor flew by as they drove right past it. The TV then flashed the message "Leaving Endor.”

”R2!?! We passed the Endor moon!" Rex yelled.

R2D2 beeped.

In the window, streaming particles of ice started hitting the ship.

"Now what's the matter? Comets? Comets! Ladies and gentlemen there may be some turbulence up ahead, please make sure your seatbelts are fastened!"

Rex dodged some oncoming comets, came uncomfortably close to one oncoming
comet, and then went inside another comet.

”I have a very bad feeling about this! Ahhhh..!"

The ship swerved right and left to avoid hitting the sides of any of the narrow ice crystal pathways inside the comet. It was like going through a maze. The ship suddenly came to a dead end within the comet - a solid wall of ice. Rex drove straight into it and exploded right through the ice wall and back in outer space.

"Well, you can relax now. Everything's under control, and ah, we will be on our way to the Endor moon with any further delay."

The ship gradually leaned more and more to the right as he talked, indicating that everything was definitely not under control. R2D2 beeped again. On the screen, a
huge ship, an Imperial Death Star, loomed ahead. They were pulled closer and closer to its underbelly. The TV flashed the message, "System Override.”

”Oh no! We're caught in a tractor beam!!"

Flying around in front of the Destroyer were attacking X-Wing fighters on the good side and Tie Fighters on the evil side. The TV screen changed to an image of an X-Wing fighter pilot.

”Star Tours? What are you doing here? This is a combat zone, it's restricted!
Ease off on your main thrusters."

Rex did so, freeing them from the tractor beam. Unfortunately, they were now caught in the middle of a battle between the Rebels and the Empire. They began firing on the tourist ship and Rex fired back. There was a massive jolt, and the ship
plummeted towards the Death Star. The TV flashed the message, "Malfunction.”

”Ahhhh...we've been hit! R2, get the stabilizer fixed...and hurry! We're losing altitude fast!" Rex shouted.

They hung still for a few moments until R2 restored power back to their ship. The TV said "Systems OK.”

The X-wing pilot took over again, "Red 24, Red 30, Follow me."

Rex nodded. "Okay, I've always wanted to do this! We're going in!"

He steered towards the surface of the Death Star, and almost hit the back of the X-Wing fighter.

"Yikes! Sorry!"

Rex followed the X-Wing down to the surface of the Death Star. He swerved in and out of openings, and dodged enemy shot blasts before heading to the trench.

”Yaaahooo!!!" he yelled.

“Yahoooo!!!” Mr. Packard agreed.

“I’m telling you that you won’t get sick!”

“Tyrael, open your eyes!”

“I can’t look!”

”Red 24, I'm going in!"

In the trench, Rex blasted a couple of oncoming Tie Fighters. They watched as the X-Wing fighter in front dropped two shots down the exhaust port at the end of
the trench to blow up the Death Star. An explosion started to come up from the port. Rex pulled the ship out of the trench.

"We did it!" he shouted.

Mr. Packard cheered.

”All ships - jump to light speed!” the X-Wing pilot ordered.

"Hang on back there, light speed!"

The tour ship once again traveled at light speed. When it slowed down, they appeared near the Star Tours spaceport. Other StarSpeeder 3000's taxied
along below. Rex drove into a docking bay, headed straight for a moving truck marked 'Flammable' on the side.

”Brakeeeeesss!!!!" he brought the ship to a grinding halt, and started to lower to the unloaded docks.

"Hey sorry folks, I am sure to be better next time. It was my first flight, and I'm still getting used to my programming!"

The gray shield closed and the TV came on. C3P0 said, "We hope you enjoyed your flight. When the captain has opened the exit doors, you may then unlatch your safety restraints by pressing the release button on your left. Oh, and do make sure you have your personal belongings. Thank you. Good day!"

The Star Wars music played very loudly. Exiting the ship, they walked into a hallway decorated with posters for other Star Tours destinations, like Hoth, Bespin, Endor, and Tattoine.

“That’s my favorite thing so far,” Mr. Packard said, enthusiastically.

“Yeah, I always liked it,” Roses said.

“It’s sort of like Holli’s driving,” Tails said.

“Shut up!”

“It’s true.”

“And at least it’s not like Ann’s driving,” Tyrael interrupted to stop their arguing.

Roses turned onto a street called Commissary Lane.

“Lunchtime!”

***

“These are called the Streets of America,” Roses said.

“Um…is that all?” Ann asked.

“What do you mean?”

“No more information?”

“Do you need more information?”

“No, no, just asking.”

Giant stage sets were set up along the sidewalks, creating the illusion of New York City, San Francisco, and other cities using forced perspective techniques.

“Anyway, let’s go see the Muppet Vision 3D show,” Roses pointed them into a warehouse structure.

The show was great. At least until the end. After taking seats in the theater, they donned their special 3D glasses to watch the 13-minute trip through the Muppet Laboratories. The show was really in 4D, much like the Disney Philharmagic. They were blasted with a burst of air, squirted with water, and surrounded by a dreamy shower of real soap bubbles at various times throughout the show.

The plot was that Dr. Bunsen Q. Honeydew and his assistant, Beaker, performed a demonstration with disastrous results, releasing a troublesome 3D character called Waldo. Things went from bad to worse, as the Swedish Chef commandeered the projector in the rear of the theater and Statler and Waldorf heckled from their box seats.

The grand finale was when the real disaster started. The show came to a cacophonous conclusion, with cannons exploding, fireworks blasting and penguins squawking in a tumultuous but happy ending.

“Damn! I forgot about the penguins!” Roses said.

“QUACK!!! QUACK!!!”

“Bubba, sit down!” Ann shouted. “They’re not real!”

“QUACK!!!”

Bubba headed for the stage. Kids in the audience giggled, as they thought it was part of the show. Stan also giggled happily. The actors on the stage backed away in horror. Bubba climbed onto the stage, aimed directly at the puppets. He pounced. Vinnie, who had managed to sneak up to the stage and pull the tranquilizers out of his pocket, hit him in mid-air. Bubba crashed down on top of the fake penguins. Someone pulled the curtains quickly and turned up the lights.

Roses sighed.

***

After a brief conversation with a park employee, Roses hurried back to the group, who was still sitting in the theater.

“Okay, thank goodness he believed me that Bubba was a robot and that his programming short-circuited. And the penguins he landed on were plastic, so no harm done to them. Let’s move Bubba over behind some of the fake scenery outside, if you don’t mind, Mr. Packard and Vinnie. And Al, I hate to ask you, but since you don’t have to eat or drink or anything, could you wait with him? When he wakes up, convince him that I have food waiting at the hotel. Then take him there and get him something to eat? The people at the Wilderness Lodge will recognize my room card,” she handed it over. “Just don’t let him get into the cafeteria.”

“Yes, sir!” both heads chorused.

“I knew you could handle it. As for the rest of us, we’ll be going to Playhouse Disney. We need something calm after all that excitement. Bear in the Big Blue House sounds good right about now.”

***

“Cha-Cha-Cha!
Ha-Cha-Cha!
Gonna Cha-Cha-Cha!
Ooh-La-La,
Time to Cha-Cha-Cha
The Bear Cha-Cha-Cha! “

Ann looked at Roses, who was dancing from her seat on the floor and singing along with the seven-foot puppet. “Kill me now.”

“Tell me about it,” Katherine said. “I didn’t know this was a kid’s show.”

“Now, who wants to do the Goodbye Song with me?” Bear asked.

All of the little kids cheered. Everyone in the Tri-Leader group looked at Roses and then at each other before joining in on the cheering.

***

“It’s a live stage show?” Tails asked, warily. “You know how the last one went.”

“I do know. But this one will be better.”

“I always did like The Little Mermaid,” Holli said.

“Yeah, well, you would.”

“What does that mean, Tails?”

“You know what I mean.”

“Are you trying to start a fight?”

“Girls, girls,” Ann stopped them. “Roses is leaving us outside.”

They first entered a pre-show lobby, which had low ceilings decorated with nautical accessories. One such accessory was a net. The net was filled with fake Jell-o cubes.

“Get it?” Roses asked. “A net full of Jell-o? Annette Funicello?”

“Hah,” Ann said, looking slightly confused.

The main show was presented in a large theater. The pre-recorded dialogue for Sebastian, Triton, Flounder, Ursula, and Flotsam and Jetsam came from the original film, but had been edited to better fit the stage show. Ariel spoke and sang live.

They found some seats near the front and settled down to listen to the employee talk.

“Your attention, please. Look to your left. If there are any empty seats, even if there's only one, we do ask that you please move over and fill it in. And for those of you traveling with a small child, you might want to place that child on your lap. We do use an elevated stage. Hello everyone, my name is Alex, and I'd like to welcome you to the Voyage of the Little Mermaid. Before we begin, we do ask that you please stay seated throughout the entire show. Please do not take any flash photography. You may use a high-speed film or a video camera without lights, but please no flash photography. Again, please stay seated throughout the entire show, with no flash photography. And now, the Disney-MGM Studios is proud to present the Voyage of the Little Mermaid!”

Music began to play along with sounds of the ocean. Gradually, a ship appeared on the movie screen in front, growing larger and larger as it advanced toward the theater. Finally, just as the ship seemed to travel right over the audience, a curtain of falling water draped across the front of the stage, misting those in the first few rows. Green lighting shone overhead and the mist in the theater made it appear as if the audience was actually under the sea.

Sebastian laughed. “De human world! It's a mess. Life under de sea is better dan anything dey got up dere.”

The song "Under the Sea" began to play. All of the musical numbers were performed as a black light puppet show. The stage was dark, and the puppeteers wore black clothing, so that they couldn’t be seen. The sea creature puppets were painted in bright, neon colors that stood out in the black light. It seemed that they were swimming across the stage under their own power. They danced around happily.

De seaweed is always greener
In somebody else's lake
You dream about going up dere
But dat is a big mistake

Just look at de world around you
Right here on de ocean floor
Such wonderful dings surround you
What more is you lookin' for?

Under de sea
Under de sea
Darling it's better
Down where it's wetter
Take it from me

Up on de shore dey work all day
Out in de sun dey slave away
While we devotin'
Full time to floatin'
Under de sea

Down here all de fish is happy
As off through de waves dey roll
De fish on de land ain't happy
Dey sad 'cause dey in deir bowl

But fish in de bowl is lucky
Dey in for a worser fate
One day when de boss get hungry
Guess who's goin' be on de plate

Under de sea
Under de sea
Nobody beat us
Fry us and eat us
In fricassee

We what de land folks love to cook
Under de sea we off de hook
We got no troubles
Life is de bubbles
Under de sea

Since life is sweet here
We got de beat here
Naturally

Even de sturgeon an' de ray
Dey get de urge 'n' start to play
We got de spirit
You got to hear it
Under de sea

De newt play de flute
De carp play de harp
De plaice play de bass
And dey soundin' sharp

De bass play de brass
De chub play de tub
De fluke is de duke of soul
Yeah!

De ray he can play
De ling's on de strings
De trout rockin' out
De blackfish he sings
De smelt and de sprat
Dey know where it's at
An' oh, dat blowfish BLOW!

Under de sea
Under de sea
When de sardine
Begin de beguine
It's music to me

What do dey got? A lot of sand
We got a hot crustacean band
Each little clam here
know how to jam here
Under de sea

Each little slug here
Cuttin' a rug here
Under de sea

Each little snail here
Know how to wail here
Dat's why it's hotter
Under de water

Yeah, we in luck here
Down in de muck here
Under de sea!

The stage went black. Dramatic music played, and the face of King Triton appeared, created with lasers.

“Sebastian! Sebastian! My daughter Ariel has been up to the surface again,” he said.

“Somebody's got to nail dat girl's fins to de floor.”

“She could've been seen by one of those barbarians. By -- by one of those humans! They're dangerous. Ariel needs constant supervision.”

“Constant!” Sebastian agreed.

“And someone to watch over her. To keep her out of trouble.”

“All de time.”

“And you are just the crab to do it.” Triton suggested.

“Jumpin' jellyfish! My nerves are shot. How do I get myself into dese situations? Teen-agers! Give dem an inch, dey swim all over you. What is dat girl up to?”

The lights faded out and someone pushed a rock onto the stage. Ariel was seated on it, in full costume, complete with fins.

“Ariel! Ariel!” Flounder called from off-stage.

Ariel was busy singing.

”I wanna be where the people are
I wanna see
Wanna see 'em dancin'
Walkin' around on those
Whaddya call 'em? Oh, feet.

Flippin' your fins you don't get too far
Legs are required for jumpin', dancin'
Strollin' along down a
What's that word again? ... Street

Up where they walk
Up where they run
Up where they stay all day
In the sun
Wanderin' free
Wish I could be
Part of that world

What would I give
If I could live
Out of these waters?
What would I pay
To spend a day
Warm on the sand?

Betcha on land
They understand
Bet they don't reprimand their daughters
Bright young women
Sick o' swimmin'
Ready to stand

And ready to know what the people know
Ask 'em my questions
And get some answers
What's a fire and why does it --
What's the word -- burn?

I don't know when
I don't know how
But I know something's starting right now.
Watch and you'll see
Someday I'll be
Part of your world.

Ominous music interrupted her, and Ursula's sidekicks, the eels Flotsam and Jetsam, swam in from the side of the stage.

“Poor child.” Flotsam said.

“Poor, sweet child.” Jetsam added.

“She has a very serious problem.”

“If only there were something we could do.”

“But there is something.”

Ursula, in the form of a gigantic puppet, rolled onstage.

She spoke to Ariel, “Now, now, angelfish, the solution to your problem is quite simple. The only way to get what you want is to become human yourself.”

“Can you do that?” Ariel asked.

“Oh, my dear sweet child, that's what I do. It's what I live for. To help unfortunate merfolk like yourself. Poor souls with no one else to turn to. I'll make a potion that will turn you into a human for three days. If he kisses you before sunset on the third day, you'll remain human permanently. But if he doesn't, you turn back into a mermaid, and you belong to me. Have we got a deal?”

“If I become human, I'll never be with my father or sisters again.”

“That's right. But you'll have your man. Life's full of tough choices, isn’t it? Oh! Oh, and there is one more thing, sweetcakes. No more talking, singing, zip.”

“Without my voice ... how can I -“

“You'll have your looks! Your pretty face! And don't underestimate the importance of ... body language!”

“What is this show rated? Isn’t it for kids?” Mr. Packard leaned over to ask.

Roses shrugged.

Ursula sang the “Poor Unfortunate Souls” song. She convinced Ariel to give up her voice and sent her to the beach. Scenes from the movie played to show how Eric fell in love with Ariel, Ursula tried to take over the ocean, and Eric ran his ship into her to stop her. He washed up on the beach and Ariel ran to save him.

King Triton watched from afar. “She really does love him, doesn't she, Sebastian?”

“Hmmm, it's like I always say, Your Majesty. Children got to be free to lead deir own lives.”

“Then I guess there's just one problem left.”

“And what's dat, Your Majesty?”

“How much I'm going to miss her.”

Triton magically transformed Ariel into a human. Eric began to wake up.

“Ariel?”

“Eric!”

“You can talk! You're the one. It was you all the time.”

“It was you, Eric, all the time!” Holli teased.

“Hey, I’d kiss her. She’s hot,” he said.

The two actors did kiss, happy music played, and the curtains dropped.

An announcer said, “Thank you for joining us this afternoon. Please gather all your personal belongings and exit through the doors on your left. We hope you enjoyed the show, and have a great time at the Disney-MGM Studios.”

***

“This is the Backlot Tour,” Roses said. “It’s really not that exciting, but it’s worth seeing.”

“By all means,” Ann said.

“You okay?” Roses asked.

“Oh, of course.”

“You’ve been acting weird for two days.”

“I’m fine. Really. Drop it.”

“Okay then,” Roses still looked slightly concerned.

While they waited for the tour to begin, overhead monitors showed a video on behind-the-scenes special effects and interviews from several recent action/adventure films.

They were all ushered into an outdoor viewing area and were able to see how battles and storms at sea are simulated using large water tanks and pyrotechnics. From there, the tour group boarded a long, 200-seat tram that wound its way through many backstage areas, beginning with the wardrobe and props departments and onto Residential Street. The street held the exteriors of houses from several popular television shows. The tram continued on to Catastrophe Canyon, where a make-believe crew was allegedly filming a flash flood sequence. Special effects, including flaming explosions and a rickety bridge, gave the guests a taste of what such a catastrophe would feel like, before the tram moved on to New York Street and the tour's conclusion.

The exit led them to the American Film Institute Showcase, which usually had themed exhibits relating to special effects in cinema. The current exhibit, called Villains, The Characters You Love to Hate, focused on costumes and props relating to some of the most famous movie bad guys, including Darth Vader from Star Wars, The Penguin from the Batman movies, Oogie Boogie from The Nightmare before Christmas, and the Wicked Witch from the Wizard of Oz.

“They’re selling shirts that say ‘Evil’ across the front,” Holli grabbed one. “Can I have it?”

“I think we should all have matching ones,” Roses grinned. “And wear them when we have special occasions.”

“What kinds of special occasions?” Tyrael asked.

“Well, in the future, Ty.”

“Oh. Um. Okay.”

***

“So now that we’ve made a full circle back to the sorcerer hat, we’re going to go down Sunset Boulevard,” Roses told them. “We can go right, just like you wanted, Holli. And our first stop on this street is The Rock’n’Roller Coaster Starring Aerosmith. Now, unlike the other “coasters,” this is a real roller coaster, but it’s indoors. It does have loops and inversions and all of that. Plus, it’s mostly dark. So if anyone is going to chicken out, they do have what they call a ‘chicken exit.’”

She led them all up to a large building. The doorway was a giant, red and silver guitar that they had to walk around. After showing their passes to the attendant, they went into a pre-show room. Inside they got a glimpse into the sound booth at the fictional G-Force Records. The hard rock band Aerosmith was finishing up a studio recording session. It seemed as though the band was actually interacting with them, speaking to the crowd from their TV screen. Lead singer Steven Tyler himself invited everyone to a concert.

From the pre-show area, they were ushered into what appeared to be a darkened back alleyway, where they awaited a "Super Stretch" limo. The 24-passenger limo screeched to a halt in front of them and they boarded. After a few moments of build-up, they were finally launched into the wild ride, swiftly accelerating into the imagined Hollywood night to the pulsating Aerosmith music. Their car happened to be playing “Walk This Way,” while other options included “Dude Looks Like a Lady,” “Sweet Emotion,” and “Love In An Elevator.”

The ride was, as Roses had said, so dark that they couldn’t make out what twists or turns were ahead, but they could sometimes see individually lit Southern California landmarks, such as signs for Hollywood and the famous Roxy Theatre. After just a few minutes, the car stopped at the "concert", its destination, and they disembarked into the gift shop.

“At least we finally got ride something good,” Holli said.

“I know,” Ann agreed. “About time.”

Looming ominously at the end of Sunset Boulevard was the rundown Hollywood Tower Hotel. Roses walked toward it, stopping nearby for a bathroom break.

“I cannot believe he asked me to do that!” Ann came out of the women’s bathroom and flung Sally down on a bench. “’Take her with you, please, she can’t go in the men’s room.’ What was he thinking?”

“I can’t believe you did it,” Roses grinned.

“So, um, I’m feeling a little sick after that roller coaster,” Tyrael said, staring at the tower. “Maybe I can sit this one out?”

“Scared of falling?” Holli teased.

“Well, sort of. No. Not the falling part. And it’s getting dark outside.”

A bellboy in an old-fashioned costume creeped up behind him. He was wearing an old maroon uniform and pale makeup, trying to look as if he were dead. He didn’t say anything, just waved around a prop suitcase. Roses ignored him.

“Hey, Katherine, Ty is scared of heights. And the dark,” Holli told the other girl when she came back outside.

“That’s nothing to be scared of compared to that bathroom. Just, ew.”

“Is that everyone?” Roses did a quick headcount as Roseidous and Mr. Packard re-joined them. “Good. We’re all here. Let’s go.”

Tyrael turned around to walk into the foreboding iron gates and shrieked. The bellboy, true to his job, had scared another tourist.

“Oh, just go away,” Roses waved a hand. “You’re annoying. And we have to hurry if we’re getting seats for the Fantasmic show.”

They walked through the gates towards the thirteen-story building. The line wound its way through the overgrown gardens and up to the front porch. Roses skipped the line, however, and went straight into the lobby. She waited by the library doors, tapping her foot impatiently.

The rest looked around the lobby. Cobwebs and dust covered every available surface of the antique furniture.

“Is that real?” Tails asked.

Murry floated across the rope barrier. “Nah, all @#$% fake @#$^!”

“People?” They turned to Roses, who was gesturing at the now-open door. “A little more attention, please? We are on the clock now.”

They “guiltily” hurried over, giving each other significant looks. Once in the library, the hotel concierge appeared to tell them that their rooms weren’t quite ready and would they please wait here. He left, closing the door behind him.

“And the power will go off…now,” Roses said.

The power went off on cue. Lightning flashed outside the window. People already on the ride screamed above them.

“You know, Roses,” Holli said. “You could not spoil the rest of the ride for us.”

“What?”

“Don’t tell us what’s going to happen next.”

“What’s going to happen to you now?” a creepy voice asked.

“Great,” Holli said.

The TV on one of the bookshelves turned itself on, flickered for a moment, and focused in on a man. The Twilight Zone theme song played while he explained the story of the hotel.

He stood in front of an elevator as he talked.

“You unlock this door with the key of imagination. Beyond it is another dimension. A dimension of sound. A dimension of sight. A dimension of mind. You're moving into a land of both shadow and substance, of things and ideas. You've just crossed over into...The Twilight Zone.”

The screen changed to an image of a clean hotel lobby, exactly like the one they’d walked through. “Hollywood, 1939. Amid the glitz and the glitter of a bustling, young movie town at the height of its golden age, The Hollywood Tower Hotel was a star in its own right; a beacon for the show business elite. Now, something is about to happen that will change all that.”

The scene shifted back to him. “Tonight's story on The Twilight Zone is somewhat unique and calls for a different kind of introduction. This, as you may recognize, is a maintenance service elevator still in operation, waiting for you. We invite you, if you dare, to step aboard because in tonight's episode, you are the star. And this elevator travels directly to...The Twilight Zone."

The video continued by introducing the story of the elevator. “One stormy night long ago, five people stepped through the door of an elevator and into a nightmare…”

The movie that followed showed the five people, including a beautiful little girl, step into the maintenance elevator. The guest elevator was broken and they couldn’t use it to get to their rooms. On the thirteenth floor, the elevator suddenly stopped and crashed to the ground, killing all of its passengers. They, according to legend, still haunted the building and the accident was the reason that the hotel closed.

The library doors opened again as the power came back on and the TV blinked off. The concierge explained that the main elevator was broken because of the power outage. They would have to use the service elevators to get to their rooms.

They were escorted down the to boiler room, a dirty and dark place where they awaited an elevator. When one arrived for them, there were just enough seats for everyone. The six clones climbed into the back row. From left to right, Stan, Billy Jo, Vinnie, Katherine, and Mr. Packard sat in the middle row. And across the front were Tails, Ann, Roses, Roseidous with Sally in his lap, Holli, and Tyrael. Murry floated in near the ceiling, refusing to sit in the last empty seat.

The hotel worker checked to make sure they were fastened in, gave them a thumbs-up, and closed the door. The elevator rose upwards. Halfway up, it paused, and the doors opened.

“I don’t want to see what’s in the hallway,” Tyrael said.

“There’s nothing there,” Roses lied.

He opened his eyes. In the hallway were projected, ghostly images of the hotel guests who had died in the same elevator they were currently using.

“Thanks, Roses.”

“Any time, Tyrael.”

The people disappeared and the doors closed again. When they reached the top, the doors re-opened. The elevator actually left its shaft and moved down into a pitch-black hallway. Suddenly, it stopped. Silence.

“Er…” Roseidous started.

Without warning, the cables snapped, sparks showered, and the car plummeted thirteen stories down. Tails, Holli, and Tyrael screamed, Holli and Tyrael clutching each other’s hands. All of the clones shrieked loudly. Roseidous accidentally let go of Sally, who hit the ceiling at the same time as Murry. Katherine and Vinnie looked at each other. Stan helped Billy Jo hold on to his camera. Ann glared unhappily as she grabbed onto her armrests. Roses and Mr. Packard both had their hands in the air, yelling with excitement.

The cable re-caught at the last moment and yanked them back up. Sally fell into Roseidous lap. At the top, the doors opened and they could see the lights of the park glittering far below. There was brief pause. Ann grabbed Murry.

Again, the cables released and the elevator dropped. There was more screaming. The cycle repeated two more times before it gently came to a final rest on the first floor.

“Well, that was fun,” Ann said, sarcastically.

Roses didn’t notice, “Yeah, it was! Usually, I only get dropped three times. It’s random, you know. Three or four.”

“Hooray.”

Holli and Katherine pried Tyrael out of his seat while Roseidous apologized to Sally. Ann released the cursing Murry.

“So what now?” Katherine asked.

Roses whipped off her backpack, unzipped a side pocket, pulled out a brochure, and examined it critically. “We are in luck!”

“Oh, good,” Ann looked at Roseidous, who shrugged.

“That was perfect timing for us to get good seats at the Fantasmic light show. Let’s head over to the amphitheater. If we sit at the front, we’ll get sprayed by the floats, like at Sea World or something. Except those are whales, not floats. It’s too bad we couldn’t go to Sea World on this trip,” she walked off towards the theater, still talking to herself.

“Yeah, too bad,” Tails followed. “Or something.”

“Anyone else tired of her yet?” Holli asked.

There was various nodding.

“She does mean well,” Ann sighed. “Really.”

“Sometimes I wish she didn’t,” Tyrael said.

“Oh, don’t we all.”

***

“Now,” Roses settled them all into seats near the middle of the theater. “Does anyone need drinks? Snacks? Those neon light-up bracelets and necklaces?”

“Yes!” several people cried, mostly to make her go away and take her enthusiasm somewhere else.

“Okay, that’s the spirit! Mr. Packard, you and Vinnie come help me. Everyone else, stay put and save our seats.”

Holli watched her go before leaning over Tails. “Hey, Katherine?”

“Yeah?”

“Can I have a conference with you later? In my room?”

Ann leaned down from the row above them. “How about the two of you come to my room?”

“Okay!”

Tyrael, meanwhile, was talking to Roseidous. Or rather, listening to Roseidous talk.

“So then, I said, Sally, that is a great idea. I’d love to schedule a spa day for our last day here. Because it is a free day, you know. And after all these days in the sun and wind, I could use a mud bath, a haircut, and a massage. The clones won’t even have to do it. So I guess they really are on vacation, right?”

“Um, what? Right.”

“And then, Sally said I should let the clones have a spa day, too. But would the spa let me schedule all those appointments at the same time? And does it take the room credit card thing? And is that a valid use of our money? Roses might not think-“

Tyrael tuned him out, nodding occasionally.

Luckily, Roses showed up soon to save him. “We’re back! And I brought something special! Lollipops shapes like Mickey Mouse’s head! Who wants the red one?”

The lights dimmed before anyone could claim color choices. Roses took the red one and passed the rest down the line.

Two bellhops from the Tower of Terror walked down the central steps. They were carrying a 6-foot ladder, three metal folding chairs, and a battered suitcase.

“Oh, I’d forgotten about this pre-show. It’s really funny,” Roses told Mr. Packard. “And it involves a lot of duct tape.”

Spotlights illuminated the two guys, who had reached the bottom of the theater, and someone turned their microphones on.

“Where are you going?” one asked.

“Come on, Moe,” the other said. “Let's go down to the front row, and we'll watch the show.”

“Hey, we can't go down there, we gotta go change those light bulbs and take that stuff up to the hotel. What if the boss sees us?”

“Don't worry about the boss.”

“Why not, Delman?”

“'Cause the boss left early.”

“Ohhhhhhhh. The boss left early?”

“Yeah, yeah, the boss went home already. So come on, let's go over here in the front, in the middle, and we'll sit and watch the show.”

Moe shrugged. “Okay.”

“Come on, I can't wait to see it. I heard it was a great show.” Delman turned to see Moe setting up the ladder. “Oh, wait a minute, Moe.”

“What?”

We can't sit right here.”

“Why not?”

“ 'Cause people are gonna walk in front of us, and we won't be able to see.”

“Like that kid?” Moe pointed a young boy walking across the front.

“Yeah, that's what I'm sayin'.”

“What're we gonna do, Delman?”

“Wait a minute, I got a great idea.”

“What?”

“I got a great idea. Look, I'm gonna take a little duct tape here, and put it on the railing and I'm gonna go over to this guy over here, and put a little bit of tape around him, and then I'm gonna go back up to the railing like this, see?” He did so, putting the tape around another child in the audience. Then he said to the kid, “Now, your job is to not let nobody by there, okay? Alright, he's gonna do a good job too, I can tell.”

“I like them already. Duct-taping boys to, well, to railings,” Holli grinned.

“Yeah. Hey, let me see that tape.” Moe said.

Delman handed it over. “Hey, put it on the other side, and we'll have our own VIP section.”

“Good idea.” Moe wrapped his tape around a man sitting at the other side of the steps, effectively blocking anyone from climbing up them or walking directly across the bottom of the theater. He raised his arms while addressing the man, “Hey, go like this.”

The man played along and did so.

“Good.”

Another guest ducked under the tape on Delman’s side. “Hey, hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, hey! You don't see the tape, Mister? Hey, no running!”

“Hey Delman, how many times did you wrap tape around that kid over there?” Moe asked.

Delman watched two other visitors duck under it to get through to their seats. “Not enough. No, no, just one time, Moe. What're you doin' to the guy?”

Moe wrapped the tape around his guy a few more times. “Don't let anybody go by!”

“Alright,” Delman took the tape and wrapped the kid again. “Now don't let nobody else by, kid. Alright.”

Moe set up the ladder and climbed it to look at the audience. “Whoa!”

“What?”

“Look at all these people!”

“That's almost as many people as just walked by here.”

“I bet there's a hundred people in here. Oh, I got an idea! Everybody on this side over here, HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY!!!!”

“HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY!!!!” replied the left side of the audience.

“I just wanted to say hey.” Moe waved.

“Hey wait, let me try something. I wanna try something,” Delman climbed up the other side of the ladder. “Everybody on this side over there, are you ready?”

“YEAH!” the right side of the audience shouted.

“Oooooh. Listen, listen ... Hey, HEEEEEEEY!!!!”

“Hey, HEEEEEEEEY!!!!”

“Ooh, that's a double hey right there, did you hear that one, Moe?”

“Yeah. Okay, all the people on this side over here again, Hey - ey- ey!!”

“Hey - ey - ey!!” the left side repeated.

Delman laughed. “Okay. My side. Ooh - OOOOOOOH!!”

“Ooh - OOOOOOOH!!”

“Listen, Moe, did ya hear all the oohs?”

“Yeah. Okay, this one's for the people in the middle,” he cleared his throat.

The center section of the audience cleared their throats, too.

“That wasn't it.” Moe said.

“That wasn't it.”

“No! That's not it.”

“No! That's not it.”

Moe blew a raspberry at them. They blew one back.

“If you do that one right, it feels like it's raining to the people sitting in front of you.” Moe suggested.

“Eeeeeeew!” Delman said.

“It's a water show, Delman.”

“It’s disgusting. Okay. Alright, this one's for all the peoples on that side over there,” he performed a Tarzan yell.

The left side of the audience echoed it.

“Ooh-hoo-hoo. They're animals, baby.”

“Yeah. Like the Animal Kingdom. Okay, this one's for the entire group. I'll do it first, then you do it. Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey,” he started to wind down, as if he were going to stop, but pulled up his jacket collar and kept going. “eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeyyyyyyyyyy.”

There was much applause from the audience.

“Thank you, thank you. Now it’s your turn.”

The whole audience tried to yell for as long as Moe did.

“I think you could've went on all night,” Moe applauded for them.

“Hey Moe, that was great,” Delman said.

“Yeah. Hey, where you at, Delman?”

“I'm up here at the top of the steps. Don't you see me? I came up here while you all were yelling.”

“Oh. What're you doin' up there?”

“I wanna try something.”

“What?”

“I'm gonna do a stunt.”

“What kind of stunt?”

“A super-duper stunt, but I gotta make sure that everybody can see me. Everybody, wave to me if you can see me. Does everybody see me? Can you see me okay, everybody? I'm right here, right here. Alright, this is gonna be great, this is gonna be great, this is gonna be great. I need everybody to clear out this aisle though, okay? So get your feet and your legs and your small children out of the aisle, and hey, slide over, would ya, make some room for him. I need the aisle clear.”

He noticed a vendor standing on the steps. “Hey, clear out the aisle. Run to the bottom! No, don't run, but go ahead, come on, I need the aisle clear. El move-o out-o aisle-o, thank you. Okay. It's okay, I'm bilingual-o. Okay, now I need everybody to remain seated, remain seated. You're gonna love this. Just stand back now! Here we go. Ready? A one, a two, a go.”

Delman did a handstand. He had red, flashing lights attached to his ankles. He began walking down the stairs on his hands.

“And we're off! Eeew! Eeew! Eeew! Gross, gross, gross, gross.”

“What happened?” Moe asked.

“I stepped in gum.”

“Oh.”

“Hey, am I almost to the bottom?”

“Not quite. We'll count down when you get close.”

“I better hurry. My batteries are runnin' low.”

The audience, with Moe’s help, counted down the last five steps. Delman stood up to applause and cheering. He held up his dirty hands. And threatened to wipe them on another guest. “Hey, wasn't that somethin', Moe?”

“Wow, that was somethin'.”

“Yeah.”

“Too bad the people on the ends didn't like it very much.”

“Whadda you mean, the people on the ends didn't like it very much?”

“Well, they weren't clappin'.”

“The people on the ends weren't clapping?”

“Maybe they didn't see it.” Moe suggested.

“They didn't see me do that? Wait, wait, wait, let me ask them, let me ask them. People way over there on the end over there, and people way on the end over there, did you see me do that?”

“Noooooooooooooo!” the audience yelled.

“No, you didn't - ? Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Was your eyes open?”

“You're gonna have to do somethin' else for them,” Moe said.

“But what else could I do that's gonna be more gooder than that?”

“I don't know.”

“Hey, wait a minute, Moe!”

“What?”

“I got a great idea.”

“What's that?”

“Okay, this is what we're gonna do.” Delman ducked under the tape, and turned to the guest who was supposed to keep people out. “I'm allowed by. I got the outfit on. Okay. This is what we're gonna do, Moe. I am gonna climb over the railing here.”

“Where the water is?”

“Yeah, but I ain't goin' in the water. I'm gonna stand on this ledge, and you move the ladder.”

Moe picked the ladder up and moved it over a few inches, while Delman climbed over the railing.

“Alright, this is gonna be great. I'm gonna,” he noticed the ladder. “No, Moe, you gotta moooove the ladder. Okay, this is gonna be great.”

Moe moved the ladder a few more inches.

Delman sighed. “Alright, Moe, just put it down.”

“What?”

“Put the ladder down.”

“Put it down?”

“That’s what I said. Put it down.”

Moe looked at the ladder and started yelling. “You are so ugly! And you're tall, and skinny, and you're a loser! Loser, loser, loser! Lo -“

“Moe!”

“What?”

“What're you doin'?!”

“You said put it down.”

“I don't mean insult the ladder! I mean, put the ladder flat on the ground.”

“Oh. You shoulda said so.”

“I did say so. Now listen, uh, do me a favor, get me that chair over there. I need it for the new and improved stunt. Come on, gimme the chair. Gimme the-“ Moe accidentally hit Delman in the head with the metal folding chair.

A stunned Delman started talking like Rocky Balboa. “Yo, Adrian! Adrian! Yo, Adrian ... hey, I - I didn't hear no bell.”

“Ding ding ding,” said Moe, helpfully.

“Wha- what happened? What happened?”

“You didn't see it?”

“No. What happened?”

Moe gestured toward a guest in the front row, and put the chair in front of him. “Well, that guy grabbed the chair and hit you in the face with it!”

“That guy back there hit me with the chair, huh? Hit me with a chair, huh? Well, mister, you better watch out!” he paused. “Hey, he's a big guy, isn't he?”

“He's like a Ninja.”

“Yeah, well you're just lucky, pal!” Delman grabbed Moe's arm and placed it on his chest. “You're just - you're just lucky he's holding me back! You're lucky he's holding me back! Otherwise, pow! Oh yeah! Alright, Moe, go get the chair from Stone Cold Front Row over here.”

Moe walked over and whispered to Stone Cold Front Row, “Don't tell him I did it.”

“Now do me a favor, Moe, get me another chair too. Here's what I'm gonna do for the new stunt. I'm gonna put that chair right there, you see? And I'm gonna put this chair up on top of this one, like this way up in the air just like this right there, way up high. Come on. Now give me another chair, Moe, I got a great idea. Alright, now what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna put the legs of this chair up on top of the legs of the other chair...”

“Yeah?”

“And then I'm gonna get up there,” Delman gestured at the three chairs, which were now stacked on top of each other on the small ledge between the theater and the lake.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Moe suddenly realized what Delman is proposing to do, “Oh hey, that's crazy! And dangerous.”

“No, no, no, it's okay. It's okay. It's okay.”

“Why is that?”

“'Cause I seen this on the TV.”

“What kind of TV show?”

“It was one o' them cartoons. Okay, I'm gonna get up there, Moe. Here we go,” Delman succeeded in standing up on the top chair, and the crowd applauded. Moe backed away as Delman almost lost his balance. “Moe, where are you going?”

“Right over here.”

“No, no, no, no! You gotta stay close so if I fall you can catch me.”

“Yeah, right.”

“Okay, alright. Now you're really really really gonna dig this next part, but hold on, I gotta get loosened up for this part. You're gonna like it, though, this,” Delman started to remove his jacket, and the ladies in the audience started whistling.

“Take it all off!” Holli shouted.

“Hey! Ladies, please, settle down,” he pulled off his jacket and started twirling it around like a Chippendales dancer. Then he decided that it was enough and threw the jacket down on Moe’s head. “Alright, now I gotta make sure that the lights is on.”

“Lights?”

“Yeah, make sure the lights on my ankles are goin'. Okay. Woo, okay. And now, I need everybody to goes like this,” he began a rhythmic clapping, and the audience joined in. He noticed a guest in the front row who was not clapping. “Ahem! Everybody! There ya go!”

Delman performed a handstand on top of the stack of chairs, as the clapping got faster. The crown cheered, and Delman safely returned to a sitting position on the chair.

“Wooooo-ooo-ooooo!” Delman said, nervously.

“That was somethin'!”

“Wasn't that somethin', Moe?”

“Yeah. Hey, what're those little lights on your feet for?”

“Oh, them lights on my feet is very very very important.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah, yeah. I wear the lights on my feet so that airplanes don’t crash into me.”

Moe looked up. “It must be working.”

“So far, so good. Ooooh, hey, that reminds me of that safety announcement.”

“What's that?”

“Do not try that at home.”

“Oh, no.”

“Nooooo! Go to Grandma's house. Bust up her place.”

“Her furniture is probably old anyway.”

“Do they remind you of anyone?” Ann asked Roses. “Because they remind me of Ian and Silent Jim. That is, if Jim talked.”

Roses giggled and nodded.

“Hey Moe, ya know what?”

“What?”

“There's only fifteen minutes 'til show time!”

“Hey, you know, that reminds me, there's another safety announcement. This is a non-smoking theater!”

Delman looked out into the audience. “I think somebody's breakin' the rules.”

“Yeah. But there's no smoking in the theater.”

“Why is there no smoking in the theater?”

“ 'Cause there's a low ceiling.”

“Ohhhhhhh,” Delman looked at the night sky. “It looks so real!”

“Yeah, it really looks like the sky, doesn't it?”

“Especially that moon up there.”

“Yup.”

“Hey, that must be that Disney Magic they're always tellin' us about.”

“That's it. Also, when the show's over, and you're leaving, don't walk on the bleachers, use the aisles. We don't want anybody to fall down, so don't walk on the bleachers.”

“Oh yeah. And during the show, it's gonna be dark in here, so don't get up and start walking around and mingling in the darkness.”

“Yeah.”

“Wait until the very very end of the show, when the lights come on like they're on now, and then you'll know it's time to get up and mingle.”

“Right. Hey, Delman, tell 'em about the little laser thing.”

“Oh yeah. And if you got one o' those little red dot laser pointer things, you cannot use them things in here.”

“Nooooo.”

“Nooooo.”

“Tell 'em why.”

“You see, there's a lot o' real technical stuff out there on the mountain, and if you hit the wrong spot at the wrong time with your laser thing…”

“BOOM!”

“Kaboom!”

“No show.”

“No one has one of those, do they?” Roses demanded. “Holli? Ann? Tails?”

She received negative answers, but looked suspiciously at them anyway.

“No show. They gotta cancel the whole show. 'Cause you blew up the mountain. Yeah, I know, it'll be upsetting if the whole show gets cancelled. But it's okay, 'cause we're gonna know who it was with that laser thing, and we're gonna make that person stand out back and say good night to the rest of us leaving early.”

“Yeah. Which won't be a good thing.”

“No. So don't use your laser pointer thing…”

“No.”

“Don't get up in the darkness...”

“No smoking.”

“No smoking, don't walk on the bleachers, and unless you're at Grandma's house, don't stack up chairs and do a handstand.”

“Right. Hey, ya know what, Delman, I wanna do somethin'.”

“What do you wanna do?”

“Listen, listen, let's do somethin' big together.”

“Something big and together, huh?”

“Yeah,” someone in the crowd pointed a laser pen at them. “Hey, there's one of those laser things. Somebody's got one. We weren't kidding about the laser thing, gang. If the laser hits the wrong spot, they'll cancel the show, so if you've got a laser thing…”

Roses glared at her group.

“Hey, it wasn’t us!” Ann protested.

“Don't play with the laser dot thing there. No, no, no, no, no.”

“Yeah.”

“Alright.”

“Hey, let's do something together! Something big.”

“I got it, Moe, I got a great idea.”

“What?”

“Put the ladder back up, right over here. I'm gonna move the chairs out over here, this is gonna be great. Hey Stone Cold, catch me.” He jumped down with no help at all from the audience member. “You didn't even try! Hold this chair for me, will ya? No, no, you’ll hit me again. Moe, move the chairs over.”

“Where do you want 'em?”

“Put 'em right there, right there,” he pointed.

“Like that?”

Delman noticed the laser pointer again and storms up the aisle. “Oh hey, there's the laser thing! I see it. Alright. Wasn't that fun? Hey, you with the laser thing! Right over here. Somebody right over here. The guy trying not to smile, was it him? Who was it? Was it the lady over here with the laser thing? Are you sure? Alright, don't do it no more. I won't be so nice next time I come up here. I'd hate to have to see you go home early, 'cause you played with your laser thing. Okay, now, Moe, here we go.”

“Right.”

“This is what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna get up here on the chairs,” Delman stacked the chairs right in front of the first row and climbed up.

“Wow, you're awfully close to the people with those chairs.”

“Yeah, Moe, the chair trick is better close to the people.”

“Why is that?”

“'Cause people is softer than concrete.”

“Oh yeah.”

“Yeah, it's true, it's true.”

“I believe it.”

“Okay. Alright now, Moe, it is true. Okay. See, four out of five dentists agree, Moe. Alright now, Moe, you open up the suitcase there.”

“What's in the suitcase?”

“Get out them throwin' up things.”

“Throwin' up things?”

“Yeah, the throwin' up things. Oh, not like that! No, the things they throw up in the air.”

Moe pulled juggling clubs out of the suitcase, “Oh these things! Aha!”

“Yeah, give me three of the throwin' things. Okay. Alright, now, I got three of them, I'm on the chair, and you get three of them, you get up there on the ladder, and then we'll chuck 'em at each other.”

“Oh yeah, this'll be good,” Moe climbed up on the ladder, which was only about a foot away from the stacked chairs.

“Nice and windy. Okay, ready and…we are way too close.”

“Yeah, we're like brothers.”

“Not like that! I mean, look, I could just hand it to you,” Delman demonstrated and the crown cheered.

“That's a lot easier than throwin' 'em.”

“Yeah, yeah, give it back, give it back. Hey Moe, ya know what?”

“What?”

“I really really really like all o' these people.”

“Yeah? Why is that?”

“They got no expectations. Hey Moe, ya know what?”

“What?”

“There's only 10 minutes 'til show time!”

“Hey, maybe this whole thing would be better if I moved the ladder back.”

“Hey, now you're thinking.”

“You might watch your feet there,” Moe warned the front row and moved the ladder by hopping up and down while he stood on it. As he hopped, the ladder made a rhythmic sound and the audience clapped along. Moe finally stopped moving, but the crowd kept clapping.

“Hey Moe, I like the clapping. Maybe if I hop back a little bit too, they'll clap for me.”

“Hey! Hey! Hey!”

“What? What?”

“You can't hop back.”

“Why not?”

“If you do, they're not gonna be going "clap clap clap clap clap."

“What're they gonna do?”

“They're gonna go "clap clap SPLAT! SPLAT! SPLAT!"

“Oh, well let's not do that then.”

“Okay, we count to three, and throw 'em at each other.”

“Three, then we throw 'em at each other. Got it.”

“Ready?”

“Ready.”

“One ...”

“Three two one…”

“Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!” Moe stopped him.

“What?”

“You're goin' the wrong way.”

“Oh, okay, sorry about that. Wrong way. Okay,” he turned around with his back to Moe. “Ready? Three, two…”

“Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey, Delman!”

“What?”

“Turn around.”

“Oh, turn around. Okay, turn around. Okay. You wanna do it the hard way. That's fine by me,” Delman turned around in a complete circle and ended up facing away from Moe again. “Okay, ready? And three, two …”

“Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!”

“WHAAAAAT??”

“Turn halfway around.”

“Oh, just halfways. Okay, halfways, alright,” Delman turned just the upper part of his body around to face Moe.

“How 'bout the bottom half?”

“Oh, oh, okay, the bottom half. Why didn't you say so? Hey, you should be doin' the turnin', these things are wobbly.”

“Those front row seats are not so good anymore, are they?” Moe said to the audience.

“Okay, ready?”

“Hey! One, two -“

“Three, two -“

“Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!”

“What?”

“It's not three two one, it's one, then two, then three.”

“Oh, okay. Got it, got it. Okay.”

“One...”

“THEN!”

“Two...”

“THEN! THEN!”

“Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!”

“What?”

“Why are you saying then?”

“'Cause you said then."

“You don't say then."

“Oh! That is like so unfair! If you said -“

“There's no "then"!! One, two, three!! One, two, three!!”

“Okay!” Delman paused. “Onetwothree!”

“Hey! Slow down.”

“Ohhhhh-kay!”

“One, two - “

Delman started in ultra-slow motion, “Oooooooooooooooone ........... twooooooooooooooooo ............ threeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.”

“Delman. Delman. Delman!”

“Stop callin' me names.”

“That's your name. Delman.”

“Oh yeah, that's right, that's me. Okay.”

“You don't say nothin'.”

“Nothin'.”

“Don't say anything.”

“Don't say anything or don't say nothing?”

“Don't talk. I'm gonna do the counting.”

“You're gonna do the counting?”

“Yeah. I'm gonna count to three and throw these at you.”

“What?”

“I'm gonna count to three and throw these at you.”

“What am I doin'?”

“Nothin'.”

“Wait a minute, that don't sound like fun, or very entertaining.”

“It will be to the audience,” Moe encouraged them to applaud and they did so. “They wanna see it.”

“Don't make me go down there! But okay, you ready?”

“Ready!”

“Wait, wait, who's countin'?”

“I am.”

“All by yourself?”

“Yeah.”

“That's no good.”

“Why not?”

“You're way over there, I'm way over here, I'll never hear you.”

“Maybe I'll get all the people to count with me.”

“There you go thinking again!”

“Hey, people!”

“Oh, look, Moe, they couldn't hear ya. If they would've heared ya, when you said "hey people," everybody all together like would've said, "Hey, what?" Like this, I'll show ya. Hey, people!”

“Hey, WHAT?” the audience shouted.

“See what I'm sayin'?”

“Yeah. Wait'll I say "Hey, people," though.”

“Hey, WHAT??”

“When I'm ready and I say "Hey, people," you say it.”

“Hey, WHAT??”

“Okay, wait'll I say "Hey, people" and I'm ready -“

“Hey, WHAT??”

“When I say "Hey, people" and I'm ready -“

“Hey, WHAT??”

“Hey, wait'll I say "Hey, people" -“

“Hey, WHAT??”

“Stop it! They're testing me, Delman.”

“Are you passing or failing?”

“I think I'm failing.”

“Why don't you get Hooked on Phonics? Worked for me!”

“HEY, PEO-PLE!!”

“HEY, WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT??”

“Will you help us count?”

“Yes!”

“When I raise my arms, you go "One, two, three," okay?”

“Okay!”

“Okay. Are you ready, Delman?”

“I am so ready that now there's only 5 minutes 'til showtime!”

“Okay, here we go!” he lifted up his arms to wipe the sweat off of his face.

“One, two, three!”

“Hey hey hey hey, I was just gettin' the sweat outta my eyes. Wait'll I go like this,” he raised his arms, “and then you -“

“One, two, three!”

“Hey! We're not ready.” He raised his arms to stop them.

“One, two, three!”

“We're not ready!” Behind him, Delman was raising his arms up and down.

“One, two, three! One, two, three! One, two, three!”

“Stop it!!!!”

“One, two, three! One, two, three! One, two, three!”

“I'm not raising my arms!”

“One, two, three! One, two, three! One, two, three!”

Moe looked over at Delman, who lowered his arms and tried to look innocent.

“I have a better innocent look than that,” Tails said.

“Wasn't me, I didn't do anything. It was Stone Cold, he did it, that guy! He's been nothin' but trouble since we got here.” Delman lied.

“Are you ready, Delman?”

“Yeah, I'm ready.”

“Are you ready, people?”

“Yes!” the audience shouted, clearly getting tired of this act.

“Oh wait, there's an airplane.”

“Airplane! Airplane! Hold on!” Delman lifted one leg in the air to ward off the airplane with his warning light. “There's an airplane up there. It's okay, I got the lights on here. Is he gone? I'm cramping up.”

“Yeah, he's turning.”

“Okay. Alright.”

“Okay, people, here we go!” he raised his arms.

“One, two, three!”

Delman and Moe finally began to juggle. The six throwin' up things flew through the air between the ladder and the stacked chairs. The crowd cheered, and many people started taking pictures.

“Whoa! Whoa!” Delman said.

“What's wrong?”

“Man, I love that flash photography.”

“Yeah, it helps me see better for about an eighth of a second.”

“Hey, it's kinda like juggling in a disco, you know?”

They both starting singing. “Ha, ha, ha, ha, stayin' alive, stayin' alive! Ha, ha, ha, ha!”

They stopped, but some members of the audience keep singing "stayin' alive, stayin' alive."

“I didn't know the 70's came back.” Moe said.

“Sounds like some of these people didn't know the 70's went away! Alright, Moe, are you ready for a fancy one?”

“Give me a fancy one!”

“Okay, here it is!” They attempted some fancy trick and dropped some clubs.

“Hey, they didn't notice! They didn't notice!” Delman said. “Just throw somethin'! Throw something! They didn't notice yet! Just throw something!”

Moe threw his hat. “Oh, good idea, good idea, throw something! Throw something to me!”

Delman started to take off his suspenders and lower his pants, and the crowd whistled. He froze. “I was gonna throw the pants, I was gonna throw the pants! I think they noticed!”

“Well, they noticed that!”

The final fireworks from Epcot's IllumiNations show flashed in the air, clearly visible from the Fantasmic! Amphitheatre.

“Oh quick, don't look away, Moe! There's Fantasmic right behind you.”

“Oh yeah.”

“Thank you, that was the show. Thanks for coming. Good night. Bye.”

“Oh wait! There's only like a minute or two before the show starts!”

“Uh-oh.”

“We gotta do that whole thing over, but faster.”

“Do the whole thing over but faster? Okay, ready?” Delman repeated everything that they had just down in fast-forward, which sounded like, “Threetwoonenoyou'regoin'thewrongwaygoin'thewrongwaythree
twoonenoturnaroundturnaroundyou'regoin'thewrongwayturn
aroundturnaroundyou'regoin'thewrongwayturnaroundyou'regoin'
thewrongwaythreetwooonethebottomhalfdothebottomhalfwhoa
threetwoandthenonethentwothenthreeoooooooooooooooooone...
twoooooooooooooo...threeeeeeeeeeee...heypeopleheypeople
oohthere'sanairplanethere'sanairplaneoopsIthinkthey
noticed!”

The audience clapped for him.

“No, Delman, I meant we're gonna juggle faster!”

“Alright. Oh wait, I got an idea, Moe, I got an idea. Hey, people!”

“Hey, WHAT??”

“Instead of counting "one, two, three," how 'bout if everybody counts down backwards like from ten all the way down to one, whadda you think?”

“Yeah!”

“Say the word. Ready?”

“Ready!”

“Ready, and…” they started juggling again while they counted. “Ten, nine…”

The audience joined in. “Eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one!”

At one, Delman and Moe stopped juggling, and the crowd cheered.

“Moe, Moe, Moe, Moe!”

“What?”

“Look back there in the back. Is that who I think it is?”

“I don't see anybody in the - oh, it's the boss!”

“The boss is here!”

“Get off those chairs!”

“We are so fired if the boss catches us.”

“You said the boss went home.”

“I thought the boss did go home! Okay, hurry up. I'm gonna just straighten up the railing.” Moe folded up the ladder as Delman removed the tape from the railing and gave it to the boy. “Here, you can keep that. That's a tape of the show. You enjoy that. Okay. Moe, hurry up, get outta here before the boss sees us.”

“Oh, wait a minute, we can't leave the people like this. Good night, everybody!”

“Good night!”

“Hurry up, I'll get the chairs.”

“Alright.”

“Don't tell the boss we was in here! Enjoy the show! Bye bye, everybody!”

“Come on, Delman, let's get outta here.”

They ran out of the theater to much applause. Delman tripped up the stairs on the way out.

“I’ll admit, that was actually funny,” Ann said to Roses.

“I haven’t steered you wrong yet on this whole trip!” Roses nodded. “Now, the Fantasmic show, that’s good, too.”

Fantasmic began its 25-minute extravaganza with a dreaming Mickey Mouse on a darkened island. Dream Mickey acted as a conductor as music filled the air and the waters surrounding the island started to dance with colored lights. Suddenly, screens of water shot up from the lake and a multitude of images were displayed upon them: Sorcerer Mickey in his famous "Sorcerer's Apprentice" scene from Fantasia, Simba and Nala romping from the Lion King, and the undersea creatures from The Little Mermaid.

The mood shifted when, on a screen, a frantic Jiminy Cricket became trapped in a large bubble, and was then pursued by Monstro the whale. Monstro lifted himself out of the water and landed with a crash, which splashed unsuspecting front row guests with real water.

The waters calmed, but a cannon blast erupted. Live characters re-enacted battle scenes from the movie Pocahontas on the island. John Smith and Pocahontas danced and sang to Colors of the Wind.

Mickey's dream continued on its nightmarish journey as eerie music played and an animatronic Evil Queen from Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs emerged from a cave on the island and concocted a spell amidst pyrotechnics and other special effects. She invoked some of the most infamous Disney Villains; Ursula, Cruella de Vil, Scar, Frollo, Jafar, Maleficent, and Hades each made an appearance, cackling menacingly. But these bad guys were no match for Mickey - not even Jafar, who turned into a writhing black cobra and surrounded the island.

Maleficent unexpectedly transformed into a 40-foot-tall fire-breathing dragon that actually set the waters ablaze. Guests as far as halfway back in the theater could feel the heat. Mickey managed to create a wall of water around the island, smothering the flames and defeating the dragon.

Finally, a celebratory atmosphere prevailed amid a flurry of fireworks. Beloved Disney characters glided past the audience aboard the Steamboat Willie River Boat, as Fantasmic concluded with a triumphant Mickey rejoicing at his victory over evil.

“That was um, sort of cool,” Roseidous admitted. “Good special effects.”

“The best,” Roses said. “Now, let’s all try to stick together in the crowds leaving the park and go back to our rooms. I’ll see you all in the morning.”

***

“You think she saw us?” Holli asked.

“Nah,” Katherine said. “Her boat was here before our bus, anyway. She didn’t see us leave the bus stop and get on the monorail.”

“Good. Do you think Tails will say something?”

“I doubt it. Are you still fighting?”

“I dunno.”

Katherine knocked on Ann’s door. Ann quickly opened it and pulled them inside. “Does she know?”

“I don’t think so.” Holli said.

“Good. So what is this secret meeting about?”

“You tell me.”

Ann raised her eyebrows. “You wanted to have one, didn’t you?”

“So did you.”

“Mine’s about Roses.”

“Oh, good, so is ours.” Holli and Katherine sat down on Ann’s bed.

“What are we going to do about her? I know we only have two more days on this trip, but I’m going to go insane. Why do I always have to hang around with her and why does she have to go on every single ride, including the kids’ rides?”

“She loves it here,” Katherine nodded. “That’s why.”

“Yes, I know,” Ann sighed. “And she wants us all to love it like she does. She genuinely wants us to have fun, and she doesn’t realize that we’re not.”

“It doesn’t help that we keep pretending, either,” Holli pointed out.

“You’re saying that we tell her we’re not having fun?”

“No, that would hurt her feelings,” Tails said, coming out of the bathroom. “And I’m not mad at you, Holli.”

“I’m not mad at you, either.”

Tails joined them on the bed. “Tomorrow, she’s promised us that we don’t have to stick together as a group. Unless she does something really drastic, we should make the best of it and have fun. Animals are fun anyway.”

“Yeah,” Holli giggled. “Let’s make Roseidous go on the safari and throw Sally off of the truck thing into the rhinoceros area.”

“That’s all good for you,” Ann said. “But I can’t leave her on her own.”

“Leave her with Mr. Packard!” Katherine said. “He seems to be having a great time!”

“I know,” Holli said. “Who would have thought he’s a Disney fan?”

“That is an idea, though,” Ann considered. “They would have fun together.”

“Yeah, and you can come with us,” Tails offered.

“Maybe she can be ready to go on a ride and we’ll have to go to the bathroom and you can say for her and Mr. Packard to go ahead, that you’d be fine staying with us.”

“It could work.”

“It certainly could.”

***

“Good morning everyone! As for announcements today: Vic is still missing. If anyone hears anything, let me know. You do not have to stick with the group today, as I’m sure you’ll be glad to hear. However, there has been a change of schedule. We will be meeting at the exit to the Animal Kingdom at five o’clock this afternoon. That is five o’clock. I have arranged for us to have dinner reservations at the Rainforest Café next to the main gates. We will then go over to the Magic Kingdom to see the fireworks show. Any questions?”

“What time?”

“Five o’clock, Rosey.”

“Got it!”

“Okay, now into the park with you. Enjoy!”

After walking through the Animal Kingdom gates, the girls and Mr. Packard headed for the central area around the Tree of Life with its more than 325 animal carvings.

“There’s a ride in the tree,” Roses told them. “A show, really. It’s based on A Bug’s Life, if anyone else wants to go.”

“Sure,” Holli shrugged and walked towards the entrance. “But wait. I have to go to the bathroom.”

“Me, too!” Tails said.

“And me,” Katherine added.

Roses hesitated. “Okay, but the show is starting in like, two minutes.”

“Oh, you go ahead.” Ann waved her towards the employee handing out 3D glasses. “I’ll wait for them. If we can’t find you, we’ll see you later.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. You and Mr. Packard go ahead.”

“Well, okay then.”

“Yeah, come on!” Mr. Packard, still wearing his sunglasses and Goofy hat, grabbed her arm and pulled her towards the tree.

“Did you know that they attached every leaf on that tree by hand?” Roses asked him.

“Really? That’s amazing.”

“I know.”

Behind them, the girls were celebrating to themselves.

“I’m free!” Ann said.

“Yes, but not so loud.” Holli said. “Now, come on. Let’s find Rosey and Ty. And then let’s find that Safari ride.”

***

Roses and Mr. Packard walked through the lobby of the theater. On the wall were posters of movies such as, "A Stinkbug Named Desire," "Web Side Story," "Beauty and the Bee" and "My Fair Lady Bug."

They found some seats in the crowded theater and sat down. An announcer reminded the audience to refrain from buzzing, chirping and stinging throughout the presentation. “Oh, and by the way, no pollinating, either!"

“They love the theme,” Mr. Packard said.

“Of course,” Roses put on her 3D goggles, which were made to look like bug eyes. “The theme is everywhere.”

The show told a story about Flik, Princess Atta, Hopper, and other insects from the animated movie. There were scent and water effects as well as bugs that jumped out of the ceiling. Several kids screamed and cried when Hopper yelled at the audience.

“Don’t you know it’s scary for kids to see this? There are warning signs outside and everything,” Roses complained. “Take them outside, people.”

“Tell me about it,” Mr. Packard agreed.

***

Over at Camp Minnie-Mickey, Bubba, Al, Vinnie, Stan, Billy Jo, and Murry found themselves at the Festival of the Lion King stage show. It was a Broadway-caliber stage show with elaborate costumes and stage sets.

“Greetings, everyone! Habari!” the lead actor said. “And welcome! We have been expecting you. We are here to welcome you, one and all, to the Festival of the Lion King!”

They sang a song with lyrics in Swahili.

“Now that’s a @#$* language I don’t know any @#$* curses for,” Murry complained. “Or I’d @#$8 say them.”

Vinnie frowned while Stan giggled.

“Sshhhh. Everyone, listen. It is time,” the lead actor said, while African drums began to play. The rest of the cast chanted in Swahili.

Nants ingonyama bagithi baba
Sithi uhhmn ingonyama
Nants ingonyama bagithi baba
Sithi uhhmn ingonyama
Ingonyama
Siyo Ngoba
Ingonyama
Ingonyama nengw' enamabala

“Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you…the king!”

A giant stage set rolled out with a fourteen foot tall Simba. It’s face was controlled by puppeteers who moved it while the music played.

“Well, I just can't wait to be king.”

The first section of the audience, also known as the giraffes, repeated these lyrics.

“Oh, I just can't wait to be king.”

The warthog section echoed it.”

“Oh, I just can't wait to be king.”

The elephants and lions sang together.

“Let every creature go for broke and sing.
Let's hear it in the herd and on the wing.
It's gonna be King Simba's finest fling.
Oh, I just can't wait to be king!

The Simba puppet moved away and a giant set with animatronic Pumbaa and Timon filled its place.

“Hakuna matata!
What a wonderful phrase.
Hakuna matata!
Ain't no passing craze.
It means no worries
For the rest of your days.
It's our problem-free philosophy.
Hakuna matata!”

Actors dressed as monkeys interrupted the song and performed an acrobatic display while singing.

“Yes, we have no bananas!
Hakuna matata today!”

The lights went out and an actor playing Scar walked onto stage along with some actors played the hyenas.

“I know that your powers of retention
Are as wet as a warthog's backside.
But thick as you are, pay attention.
My words are a matter of pride.
It's clear from your vacant expressions,
The lights are not all on upstairs.
But we're talking kings and successions.
Even you can't be caught unawares.
So prepare for a chance of a lifetime.
Be prepared for sensational news.
A shining new era
Is tiptoeing nearer.
And where do we feature?
Just listen to teacher!
I know it sounds sordid,
But you'll be rewarded.
When at last I am given my dues.
And injustice deliciously squared.
Be prepared!
So prepare for the coup of the century.
Be prepared for the murkiest scam.
Meticulous planning,
Tenacity spanning.
Decades of denial
Is simply why I'll
Be king undisputed,
Respected, saluted,
And seen for the wonder I am.
Yes, my teeth and ambitions are bared.
Be prepared!”

For the next song, Can You Feel the Love Tonight, actors performed an aerial ballet with ropes and wires. In the background, a beautiful stage set with a waterfall and some elephants rolled into view.

There's a calm surrender
To the rush of day.
When the heat of the rolling world
Can't be turned away.
An enchanted moment,
And it sees me through.
It's enough for this restless warrior
Just to be with you.
And can you feel the love tonight?
The peace the evening brings.
The world, for once, in perfect harmony
With all its living things.
And can you feel the love tonight?
You needn't look too far.
Stealing through the night's uncertainties
Love is where they are.
The world, for once, in perfect harmony
With all its living things.”

The host of the show came back onto the stage. “The world, in perfect harmony with all its living things. That, my friends, is a time for a joyous celebration. For when all things exist in balance, it is said we are all connected in the great circle; the circle of life.”

The entire cast came back onto the stage to sing the final number.

“From the day we arrive on the planet.
And blinking, step into the sun.
There's more to see than can ever be seen.
More to do than can ever be done.
There's far too much to take in here.
More to find than can ever be found.
But the sun rolling high
Through the sapphire sky,
Keeps great and small on the endless round.
It's the circle of life.
And it moves us all.
Through despair and hope.
Through faith and love.
'Til we find our place
On the path unwinding.
In the circle
The circle of life.”

“That was okay,” Vinnie said. “Kind of childish, but the music was good enough.”

He looked over at Bubba, who was eating his program.

“Stop that.”

“Hey, Mister penguin, can I have your autograph?” asked a young boy. His parents smiled behind him.

“Um,” Vinnie said.

But Bubba had already taken the autograph book with his wing and grabbed the pen with his beak. He quickly scribbled a line onto the page and gave it back.

“Thanks! Can I have a picture, too?”

“Quack!”

“Hey, that’s a good impersonation,” the dad said. “Now, put your wing around him, just for a second.”

“Um,” Vinnie said.

Bubba carefully put his right wing on the kid’s shoulder and the man snapped the picture. With another thank you, they headed off to the park.

“Um,” Vinnie said.

Bubba smiled. Sort of.

“Apparently, he’s been doing that every @#$% day,” Murry said. “The kids @#$%^ love it.”

“Yes, we’ve been with him the whole time,” one of Al’s heads nodded. “They do love him.”

“And there haven’t been any Bubba Bad Touches?”

“Have you heard screaming?” Murry asked.

“No,” Vinnie regarded the penguin. “You’re strange.”

“Quack.”

***

“Are you sure this is a good ride?” Roseidous asked. He and Sally had bought matching safari helmets. Sally was also wearing a leopard-print tank top.

“It’s supposed to be,” Tyrael nodded.

“Safaris are not my thing. Or Sally’s.”

“It’ll be great,” Tyrael climbed into the jeep.

Once everyone was seated and fastened in, their driver took over. “We have reports of poachers out on the reserve. So we’re going to drive around and see if we can find them.”

A pilot radioed in some coordinated to the truck. The driver acknowledged them began driving. The jeep was a real vehicle and did not follow a track. The driver was actually responsible for keeping it on the road. There were also no fences between the riders and the animals.

Bongos were hiding around the first bend and black rhinos surrounded the first watering hole. The guide pointed out the rare okapi on the right and the hippos at the base of the cascading waterfalls.

The Vehicle emerged from the thick vegetation into the vast savannah grasslands. In this area they could see giraffes, sable antelope, Thomson's gazelle and ostriches. Real termite mounds rose up to twenty feet high. Ancient baobab trees also rose from the tall grasses. On the left was a huge rock formation where the Mandrill Baboon family lived. Around the next bend were the elephants.

“Sally likes elephants,” Roseidous said.

“Right,” Tyrael had managed to produce a camera from somewhere and was taking pictures.

“Does anyone else know you have that?”

“Um…no. And if they did, they’d take it away from me, do bad things to me, and then use it.”

“Oh. Will you take a picture of me and Sally?”

“Sure.”

“Make sure you get the safari hats. And try to get an elephant in the background.”

The radio contact picked back up as the pilot searched for Big Red and Little Red, two missing elephants. More watering holes passed by and they saw white rhinos wallowing in the mud. Other hoofed animals: the kudu, scimitar-horned Oryx and the long-horned eland, along with the beautifully patterned cheetahs sat among the rocks.

Coming around the last bend, the guide directed their attention to the high rock formation on the left, where the King and Queen of the Savannah resided--the Kopje Lions.

Some warthogs scurried from the bushes and rambled across the field when the radio came on again to alert the driver to poachers in the area.

The driver hit the gas and the jeep sped quickly down the bumpy road. They heard gunshots and saw a smoldering campfire. Finally, in the middle of some trees, an airplane with an animatronic pilot waved at the jeep. The poachers in the van next to it were in custody and the elephants were safe.

The rest of the tourists in the jeep cheered. The driver rejoined the main roads and the Park Ranger Station came into view.

“That was exciting,” Roseidous said. “You chose a good ride.”

“I’m glad. Did Sally have fun?”

“Yes, of course.”

***

Ann, Tails, Holli, and Katherine jumped off of the train and started climbing up the hill.

“They didn’t say you had to walk to get there,” Katherine complained.

“No, they left that part out.”

They passed by a small outdoor pen where an employee was talking to some families. “These goats, for example, are San Clemente goats, a species just about bombed into extinction at their native home on San Clemente Island. The sheep are descendants of those dropped off by early European explorers, to grow and reproduce in North America and be a source of fresh meat when the explorers came back. These sheep evolved to having less wool, and just about became extinct when they were needed for food and didn't have any wool that was available for sale. We’re working here to increase their populations. Who wants to pet them?”

“I live with animals,” Holli said. “I don’t need to pet these.”

At the top of the hill they entered a building with a brightly colored animal mural painted on the outside along with the words “Rafiki’s Planet Watch.” Inside, they waited in a short line for the “Song of the Rainforest” attraction.


An attendant directed them into a cool, six-person, round room, where they put on headphones. The lights went out. The voice of Grandmother Willow, the talking tree from Pocahontas, spoke in their ears.

“We will now explore the rainforest through our sense of hearing only.

Cricket chirping sounds.

“There is a spirit that lives within the rainforest ... a spirit of life that surrounds you.”

Frog and monkey sounds. Then thunder, and rain begins to pitter-patter on the leaves of the trees.

“Rain nurtures the life that lives beneath this wondrous canopy.”

“I feel like I’m in a séance or something,” Katherine said.

Holli laughed. “Yeah, or a meditation group.”

Heavier rain began to fall. Then the rain stopped, and birds sang.

“Many creatures live here, both big and small.”

Insect buzzing sounds, then a lion roaring in the distance.

“Hold still.”

Another lion growled, sounding much closer.

“Each animal has its place in the rainforest. Each knows the rules of survival.”

More animal sounds.

“But the rules are changing.”

Sounds of heavy equipment and machinery.

“The rainforests are being destroyed.”

Chainsaw noise, and then the sound of a tree falling.

“The song of this rainforest has been silenced. But, there is still hope.”

The chirping and monkey sounds came back.

“You can change the path we follow, and save the beauty and richness of these places before it's too late for all creatures, both small and great.”

The lion roared.

“Listen with your heart to the song of the rainforest, and you will understand.”

Calm woodwind music played for a few minutes.

The attendant opened their door again. They took off their headphones, placed them on the holders, and went back into the main lobby.

“That was really weird,” Ann said.

“Very weird,” Tails agreed.

“You want to watch the videos about how they care of the animals here? Or you want to go find another ride?” Ann asked.

The vote was unanimous. “Let’s go!”

***

Mr. Packard and Roses crossed over the bridge from Africa to Asia's mythical Kingdom of Anandapur, complete with crumbling ruins of an ancient village, temples and even a maharajah's palace.

“This is beautiful,” Mr. Packard said.

“Yep. I love it,” Roses agreed. “Did you know that Anandapur means Place of Delights?”

“Nope, but now I do! What can we do here?”

“Want to see the Flights of Wonder show?”

“Of course!”

The show began with an overview of birds, and a variety of species gracefully swooped down from the set and over the audience's heads to the stage.

After this introduction, a trainer walked on stage and demonstrated the natural abilities of a number of birds, such as macaws, a crowned crane, and different types of hawks.

The arrival of silly "tour guide" Guano Joe injected some humor into the show, and he, along with the audience, gradually learned the importance of mankind's conservation efforts. Certain birds also performed some stunts, including a singing parrot named Groucho and a hawk that had been trained to snatch paper money from an audience member's extended hand. At the end of the performance, the handlers brought out an American bald eagle and other rare birds.

“That was educational,” Mr. Packard said as they left the theater, “but isn’t there something more exciting to do here?”

“Kali River Rapids sound good to you?” Roses smiled.

“Woohoo! Bring it on!”

They used the FastPass lane to wander through the waiting area, which was also themed with birds and artifacts from Asia. While they were walking, Roses pulled rain ponchos and a large, plastic garbage bag from her backpack.

“Unless you want to be wet all day,” she offered a poncho to Mr. Packard.

“Oh, good idea,” he put it on over his new Mickey Mouse shirt that he’d found in his hotel gift shop.

Roses put hers on and then put her backpack into the garbage bag to keep it and its contents safe. At the end of the line, they stepped onto the moving platform and into a twelve-person, floating raft. They sat down next to each other and fastened their seatbelts just in time for the boat to be set adrift on the Chakranadi River.

Mist and scents of jasmine greeted them at the start of the ride. The raft then headed upwards and splashed down a short waterfall. They drifted back and forth in the channel as the currents pushed them quickly through a rainforest and temple ruins. The raft occasionally floated under waterfalls, soaking the passengers. It finally climbed up a hill to safety and the unloading station.

“Much more exciting,” Mr. Packard said, pulling off his poncho and tossing it in the nearest trashcan.

“Yep,” Roses rescued her backpack from its plastic bag and tossed both the bag and her dripping poncho in the same trashcan.

***

“Dinoland, USA,” Tyrael read the sign.

“Dinosaurs aren’t very girly,” Roseidous nodded. “Do you mind, Sally?”

Tyrael waited patiently.

“Good, I didn’t think you would. Come on, Ty.”

They walked past the children’s playground known as The Boneyard and headed for the thrill ride, Dinosaur. They wound their way through the entrance of the Dino Institute past fossils, lab notes and photos. They walked around the rotunda with large murals, fossils and dioramas of the early days when dinosaurs inhabited the earth. At various intervals, parts of the diorama would light up, showing how scientists believed a fiery asteroid slammed into the earth and devastated all known life forms.

Next up was the Dino Institute's Briefing Room. A live video conference was in progress hosted by Dr. Helen Marsh , as played by Phylicia Rashad. Dr. Marsh introduced them to the Time Rover, a transportation vehicle to the past.
Dr. Grant Seeker, Wallace Langham, told the guests that he needed them to travel to the end of the Cretaceous period to find the Iguanodon.

The doors open and the group descended into the loading area. Sally, Tyrael, and Roseidous found seats aboard the twelve-passenger, all terrain vehicle, fastened their seat belts, and waited for the show to start.

A computer voice said, “Please put loose items in the pouch in front of you, and securely buckle seatbelts. Time travel commencing in T minus 10 seconds and counting.”

Another voice spoke up. “This is Grant Seeker. Listen up. We've gotta get in, track the iguanodon, grab it, and get out before that asteroid hits. Let's roll!”

Sirens wailed as their car passed over a bumpy track in a pitch-black room. This was supposed to be “time traveling.” When they emerged into the light, they were in a tropical, primeval landscape.

“Okay,” Grant Seeker said. “Now, let's go get that dino. Computer, what're you tracking?”

“Beep. Styracosaurus.”

“Not our dino.”

The car traveled rather quickly over a rough dirt path. Robotic dinosaurs would occasionally peer out from the jungle.

“Beep. Beep. Beep. Warning. Meteor shower in range.”

“Just little ones.” Grant Seeker assured the riders.

“Beep. Alioramus. Beep. Hadrosaur. Beep. Raptor.”

“Time to get serious. Locking autopilot on homing signal ... now! Hang on! I'm tracking a big dino on the scope. Could be ours. Computer, full stop. Identify.”

A Carnotaurus crashed through the bushes and roared.

“Beep. Carnotaurus.”

“Definitely not our dino! Go! Go! Go! Another big guy comin' up. Computer, slow and identify.”

“Beep. Sauropod.”

“Still not our dino, but at least this one's a vegetarian,” their car almost crashed into it. “Whoops!”

“Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Asteroid impact in 90 seconds.”

“We'd better move it!” the car sped up even more, flying around corners.

“Beep. Pterodactyl.”

“Incoming!” the guests ducked at the pterodactyl swooped over their heads.

“Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Asteroid impact in 60 seconds.”

“We can't stop now! Keep going, keep going!”

“Beep. Compsognathus.”

The car skidded around a corner, almost out of control. Guests shrieked.

“Computer, what's happening?”

“Loss of traction.”

“Four-wheel drive! Kick it!”

“Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Warning. Meteor strike.”

Fake rocks started landing around the vehicle, which dodged them.

“Evasive maneuver! Right! Left! Right! Left!” They narrowly missed a meteor. “That was close.”

“Beep. Beep. Beep. Carnotaurus.”

The Carnotaurus roared loudly.

“Ack!” Grant Seeker shouted. “Again?! That's it. Abort mission. Abort! Abort!”

“Beep. Iguanodon.”

“Forget it! Get them out now!”

“Asteroid impact. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeep.”

“Brace yourselves! This is it! They're not gonna make it! They're not gonna make it!” Grant Seeker shouted as their car time traveled again through a dark, bumpy room.

“Mission accomplished. Beep.”

“You made it! I knew you would. And guess who made it back with you? The Iguanodon! He latched on to your car! I better find him before security does. Thanks for everything!”

“Please gather personal belongings from the pouch in front of you, and remain seated until the Rover comes to a complete stop,” the computer said. “And enjoy your day.”

Roseidous and Tyrael looked at each other.

“So. I don’t know about you, but after all of this, I’m about ready to go back to my Fortress,” Roseidous said.

“Yeah, I’m tired of my vacation, too”

***

“Did everyone have a good time today?” Roses asked the group assembled at the exit.

There were some vague positive responses and some more mumbling.

“No? Well, this is my least favorite park, too. I guess you’d only enjoy it if you liked animals and such. But no matter. It’s dinnertime.”

She led them over to the Rainforest Café. A giant red rock rose up behind it, glowing faintly at the top. Inside, they were quickly seated in the elephant room at several different tables. This was truly a themed restaurant. Each table sat near a plant or tree that extended up into the ceiling. Large leaves created the illusion of a canopy overhead. In the center of the room, the leaves opened into a clearing, showing a night sky with sparkling stars. Various-sized fish tanks filled in spaces between the tables, too. Bright, tropical fish swam around the diners. The bar was a huge orange mushroom. Rain cascaded off the top of it and into planters.

Then there were the elephants. Robotic elephants sat in displays in corners of the room. Every few minutes, the lights would flash, thunder roared, and the elephants trumpeted.

“It’s great, right?” Roses asked.

“Can we just eat and leave? I think I’m getting a headache,” Ann said.

***

“Okay,” Roses addressed the group now standing in front of the main gates to the Magic Kingdom. “We just have to wait for Holli, Tails, and Katherine, who are in the bathroom again, and we can go watch the fireworks! Finally!”

“Yay,” Ann said, without any trace of enthusiasm.

No one else said anything. At all.

“Weren’t you listening? Fireworks! With music!”

Again, silence. Even from Murry.

“Okay. While you’re being that way, remember that we get to sleep in tomorrow. Then we’re going to Downtown Disney. There are some paddleboats, great shops, and LegoLand, which is always worth a visit. And remember to check your pickup times for Sunday because I most likely won’t see you on Saturday. I know some of them are early, but that’s no excuse not to be ready. If we get to the airport on schedule, we can-“

“Roses. Just stop. I’m sick of this.” Ann interrupted.

“What?”

“Yes, please stop.” Roseidous nodded.

“I wasn’t even going to say please,” Ann said.

Roses looked confused. “What’s wrong?”

They hesitated.

Finally, Murry spoke up. “Well, to be honest, we’re all @#$%* tired of you.”

“What?”

Ann sighed. “We’re tired of your plans, your schedule, and your clock. We are not having fun.”

“Um. Yeah,” Roseidous added helpfully.

The three missing girls had arrived to hear the last part of this conversation.

“Besides,” Tails said. “This whole vacation has sort of been all about you, anyway.”

“No, it hasn’t! Everyone has had a good time! It was for everyone!”

“Which is why we’ve only been to places you wanted to go? We ate where you wanted to? We got on the rides you wanted to be on?” Katherine pointed out.

“But…”

“You had every second of our days planned for us. In fact, you always do. And we hate it.” Holli told her.

“It’s for your own good!”

“Ha!” Ann said. “My own good would be to sleep until I want to get up. Definitely not waking up to fly everyone home when you say I should. And I hated the rides you made me wake up and go on!”

“Ann, come on! Without a plan, what would we have?”

“Um…fun?” Roseidous suggested. “You can’t always plan everything!”

“Yes, I can!”

“I’ll bet you didn’t plan this one!” Ann took her schedule out of her pocket and ripped it into tiny pieces. She tossed them in the air and they rained down to land at Roses’ feet. “I am getting up whenever I feel like it and I will call you when I do!”

Roses looked horrified. “You can’t…”

“Can’t what? Ruin your plans like you ruined my vacation? Guess what? I just did. And I am NOT watching your stupid fireworks show!” Ann stormed off towards the monorail station. “Come on, Al! Stan!”

“Yes, sir!” Al and Stan followed her, Stan giggling to himself.

Roses watched them go and then turned back to the group. “And everyone feels this way?”

There was a general chorus of yes and some nodding from Vinnie.

“Just give it up,” Holli said. “We don’t need you to organize our lives anymore.”

“You mean, you don’t need me anymore. Isn’t that it?”

Roseidous shrugged. “Maybe.”

“Right then,” Roses took a deep breath. “Fine. Then I don’t need you, either. See how far you get without me. You’ll all be lost. And hey, maybe I’ll go work with John. He could sure need the help.”

With that, she turned around and walked through the ticket gate.

“…she didn’t mean that, did she?” Tails looked almost worried.

“Nah. She’d kill him after one day. If even that. But, in the meantime,” Katherine produced her schedule from somewhere and tore it up. “We can do whatever we want!”

“Right!” Holli said.

The rest of the group ripped up their schedules, too, Mr. Packard a little reluctantly. They gathered up all the pieces and threw them away.

“Only, the problem is…now I don’t know what I want to do,” Roseidous said. “How about you Sally?”

The doll’s face remained in its frozen expression.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought.”

***

Roses wandered aimlessly down Main Street. It just figured. She would finally get to see the fireworks, but she wouldn’t enjoy them. Didn’t they realize? Her schedule was to make the best use of the time they had. Without a plan, they wouldn’t be able to do all of the things they did and would waste time on unimportant stuff. She just wanted everyone to have a good time, but apparently she was the only one having fun. Well, not anymore. And no more schedules, either. They could do whatever they wanted, whenever they wanted. They’d made it perfectly clear. They didn’t need her.

She found a spot on the steps near the Ice Cream Parlour and glanced at her watch. Five minutes until show time. She didn’t even notice she was crying until a teardrop splashed onto the watch. Angrily, she wiped it off and brushed the others tears away. This was Disney World, after all. Happiest Place On Earth.

A hand waved a Kleenex in front of her face. Surprised, she took it and looked up to see its bearer.

“They’re all being stupid, you know,” Tyrael sat down next to her. “Everyone knows that nothing would ever get done if it wasn’t for you forcing us to stick to your plans.”

“Forcing, huh?”

He grinned. “Yeah, pretty much. No one wants to face the Whip of Retribution.”

She laughed. “It is frightening.”

“Indeed.”

They waited in silence until the first firework exploded overhead and the music started. It showered down blue and green sparks.

“Oooh, pretty,” a voice said behind them.

“Explosions are always pretty.”

“Fire. Works. How could I miss anything with fire involved?”

“Hey, Tails. Katherine. Holli.” Roses moved over.

“Hey,” Tails said.

“We didn’t mean that we don’t need you,” Holli clarified. “Just that we don’t always need you to run our lives for us.”

“Although you are remarkably good at it,” Katherine watched a purple firework.

“I’ll have to work on that.”

“Just a little,” Mr. Packard sat down on another step. “And I want you to know that I had a fantastic vacation.”

“I’m glad.”

“Yeah, it wasn’t as bad as we’re making it seem,” Roseidous sat down behind Tails, placing Sally in his lap.

Tails grinned evilly, spun around, and jabbed the doll with a safety pin.

“Tails!”

Katherine rolled her eyes, grabbed Sally, and tied up her leg again.

The rest of the associates crowded around as Jiminy Cricket narrated the show. Fireworks exploded in time with classic Disney songs. The grand finale was the song “When You Wish Upon A Star.” In the middle of it, while white fireworks spun like pinwheels in the sky, someone new sat down next to Roses.

“Sorry,” Ann told her.

“Took you long enough.”

“Yeah, the monorail broke down.”

“Thought something like that had happened. You did it, didn’t you?”

“I would never!” Pause. “Okay, so I would, but I didn’t.”

“Can you believe that ride?” asked a woman, rather loudly, as she stood behind them.

“I know!” her companion said. “I have to make a complaint or something. Last time I was here, the rides weren’t insulting!”

“Who would have ever imagined they’d add a talking dwarf to Snow White’s Adventures?”

“Yeah!” he said. “And that it would call you names! Or threaten you with a penguin! What was that about, anyway?”

They walked away. In silence, the Tri-Leader group turned to stare at each other. After a short pause, each person leapt to his or respective feet, and ran towards Fantasyland.

***

Yes, yes. And they all lived happily ever after. The end.





Author’s notes: This was a lot longer, but I took out an entire day of the vacation. I didn’t feel like writing it all. ;)

Now, as for people to thank:

All of my family members who ever taped a show at Disney World. I used your tapes to transcribe the scripts. Who says family movies are all that bad? ;)

Julie, for obliging all of my research at Disney World. You know it was fun.

Mommy, for paying for our tickets!

Umar, for Mr. Packard’s “first name.”

Lori, for the use of her brain as my thesaurus.

Ann, for numerous suggestions and advice.






If you read this far, here’s a bonus, deleted scene from the Universal Studios day that I cut out of the novel:



“Men In Black, the Interactive Ride.” Tyrael read the sign.

“Yeah, you ride around a shoot aliens with lasers. Who wants to go on this one?” Roses asked.

Every hand shot up. Whether they really wanted to go on it, or whether they just wanted to make her happy, she didn’t know. Probably some of both, but at least they were going.

Inside, Vinnie, Katherine, Holli, Tails, Ann, and Roses climbed into the six-person car. It drove forward, into another room. The man on the television explained how the laser guns in front of each person worked. Aliens had infested the city and the goal of the interactive ride was to kill as many aliens as possible.

“Oh, like we couldn’t figure that out,” Katherine said.

The car went into the next room, which was set up to be a fake city. They grabbed the laser guns and got ready. Aliens of various shapes, sizes, and colors sprang up from behind the buildings as the car followed on a track. Each time one appeared, they aimed and shot it. At the end of the ride, the giant bug “ate” them, but they pressed the red button, as instructed, and “escaped.” When their car pulled into the unloading dock, the attendants stared at them.

Finally, one said, “We’ve never had a car get a perfect score. You shot all the aliens.”

Roses looked at the group assembled in the car. “Of course we shot them all. With the six of us, how could we not? How did the car behind us do?”

He looked at the screen. “About half. That’s normal.”

“Indeed.” Roses watched Tyrael, Roseidous, Mr. Packard, Al, Sally, and Bubba get out of the next car.