“Hey, this is great! Free mints!” Ann said, walking into the hotel room and setting down her suitcase. Roses, Holli, and Tails followed.

“Yeah, I guess.” Roses said, looking around the dark hotel room. It smelled funny. Possibly because the mints looked moldy.

“Well, it is only for one night. We’re all going home after the wedding tomorrow anyway.” Holli pointed out. She sat down on the bed, raising a cloud of dust.

Tails grinned evilly. “Which room are the guys staying in?”

“I think it’s three doors down. Rosey’s the one who booked the rooms, said they were the only ones he could afford. That and it’s the only hotel that would allow pets. Bubba is staying here, too.” Roses told the girls.

“Where’s everyone else going to be?” Holli asked.

Ann answered her. “Well, the guys have a room like ours. And Bubba, Billy Jo, Stan, Vic, Vinnie, Murry, and poor Al are sharing the third room.”

“Yeah, poor Al.” Tails said. “So are they here yet?”

“I don’t know. Knowing them, probably not.” Roses sighed. Then went over the closet to hang up her wedding dress. She chose a hanger, brushed off the cobwebs, sighed again, and put the dress in the closet.



~Meanwhile, somewhere on the Interstate~

“Hey! I think you missed the exit for Vegas!” Tyrael announced, as the van passed a sign saying “Las Vegas, Exit Here.”

“No I didn’t, there’s a shortcut.” Roseidous said.

“No shortcuts!” Todd yelled from the backseat. “I do not want to be lost!”

“Me either.” Nothlit agreed. He was sitting as close to the door as possible, trying to get away from Vic, who kept giving him strange, ‘I will kill you,’ kinds of looks.

“QUACK!” Bubba screamed.

“No, Bubba, we just stopped a few gas stations back. I am not stopping again until we get there.” Roseidous said, glancing in the rearview mirror.

Todd was sitting in the back seat. On his left was Vinnie, who was checking his pantyhose for any runs. On his right was a large box containing Murry. It kept rattling mysteriously and Murry would occasionally shout something like “You (edited), let me out of here!” or “When I get out of here, you will regret it! I am a demonic possessed skull from the underworld!” Billy Jo was perched on top of the box, rolling his eyes every time Murry threatened him. On the other side of the box sat Al. One head was talking into a cell phone about stock options while the other was in a trance, thinking of the gambling opportunities awaiting him in Las Vegas.

In the middle seat, Bubba was sitting on the far left, behind Roseidous. On his right was Stan, who kept typing something on a laptop, mumbling about the results, and retyping the information. Vic was next to Stan, and just sat and glared at everyone. Nothlit was on the far right, behind Tyrael.

Tyrael had claimed the passenger seat in the front and was surrounded by a variety of snack foods and empty soda cans, as well as a map, which was unused. Roseidous was driving, and many felt was this was an unfortunate thing, considering that he did not have a driver’s license.

After several hours, 7 stops for Bubba, and backtracking to the original Las Vegas exit, they finally arrived at the hotel. However, it was 2 am, and the girls were already sleeping, as were the hotel employees.

“Well, guys. Looks like we’ll have to wait until morning to get the keys to the room.” Roseidous said, walking back to the group crowded around the van after unsuccessfully trying to open the lobby door.

“What?” Nothlit asked.

“Looks like we’ll have to wait until morning to get the keys to the room.” Roseidous repeated.

“No, we heard you.” Todd said, “but there’s no point in that, considering that we’re leaving in the morning anyway. And just where are we going to sleep?”

“I call shotgun!” Tyrael yelled, jumping back in the van and reclining the seat.

“I have a better idea.” Roseidous said thoughtfully. He poked the cardboard box. “Hey, Murry! You can float, right?”

“Let me out of this box!” Murry screamed, “Then I’ll show you who can float! I am a demonic possessed skull from the underworld!”

“Okay, guess that’s a yes. So when I let you out, I want you to float past the windows of the rooms and find out which one the girls are in. Then tell them to open the window and let us climb in. Can you do that?”

“What do I get in return?”

“Um…we won’t lock you in the box on the way home.”

“Okay, fine. Now open it!”

Murry was released and he floated up to the first window and yelled “HEY! GIRLS! THE BOYS ARE STUCK OUTSIDE!”

A woman screamed and a shoe flew though the window. Murry ducked. Luckily, the girls were only a few rooms down and woke up when they heard him screaming. Before he could move to the next room, they had the lights on and were leaning out the window.

“Murry!” Roses called. “You stop that! Don’t wake everyone. We’re down this way. Now what’s the problem?”

Murry floated over to her. “Rosey got us lost, it’s too late for us to check in, Nothlit and Todd are going to hurt him, Tyrael is sleeping in the van, Vic is going to kill everyone, Vinnie needs new pantyhose, and I’ve been locked in a box for 18 hours.”

“That’s horrible!” Ann said, trying not to laugh. “And they want inside, do they?”

“I don’t know…I’m not supposed to have strange boys in my room…” Holli thought aloud.

By this time, the guys had arrived at the window.

“Oh, come on, let us in. We’ll just borrow your room key and break into our room. This is a cheap hotel, every third lock is the same. See…I planned ahead just in case we were late.” Roseidous said proudly.

“Will you shut up and let us go back to sleep if we do? We’re going to be tired tomorrow at the wedding. I have to have a good night’s sleep to look good in my pictures.” Roses complained.

“Yes, dear, we’re just passing though. You may go back to bed and ignore us.”

“Okay, fine. Hurry up.”

The guys successfully got all their luggage and themselves through the room without incident. Well, Holli’s curling iron and the ice bucket did distract Bubba, but everyone was soon settled in their rooms and asleep.

Roses opened her eyes. This was her wedding day. She looked out the window. Raining and cold. Perfect, it was exactly what she wanted. She decided to get up and take her shower first. No telling how much hot water there was in this place. By the time the hot water ran out, approximately 3 minutes later, the other girls were awake.

“What time do we have to be at the…place? Where are we going anyway?” Holli asked.

”Ah…well, that’s the surprise me and Rosey planned. We’re getting married in the Viva Las Vegas Wedding Chapel.” Roses told them.

“Oooh! Fun!” Ann said. “Will Elvis be there?”

“Of course!”

“Even better.” Tails said. “I’ll go make sure the guys are up.”

“Okay, thanks. Tell them that the limo is picking us up in an hour, and then it’s coming back for them. Rosey has to stay in his room until after I leave. You know, bad luck to see me before the wedding and all that.”

Tails walked down the hallway, and Holli, Ann, and Roses started to get dressed. A few minutes later, Tails reappeared with Vinnie, who was already wearing his dress.

“I um…need some new pantyhose.” He admitted.

Ann sighed. “Here, but this is only extra pair I have.” she said, handing them over.

Holli finished getting dressed and then grabbed the curling iron to do Roses’ hair.

“Eeewww…Bubba!” she said. “Hang on, let me go wash this, I think he was chewing on it.”

Twenty minutes later, everyone’s hair was styled perfectly and they were all dressed. Roses opened her suitcase and pulled out four small boxes.

“Here you go, girls! And Vinnie! These are your bridesmaids gifts.” She handed one box to each of them. Inside were pearl necklaces.

“Ooooh! These are beautiful!” Holli said, as each bridesmaid put on her/his necklace. “Okay, now Roses, is that *everything*?”

“What do you mean everything?”

“Oh, come on.” Tails said.

“What?”

“Do you have on something old?” Vinnie asked her.

“Yes, my shoes.”

“Something new?” Tails smiled.

“My dress..”

“Something borrowed?” Holli continued.

“Yes, she has my earrings on.” Ann answered for her and then finished, “What about something blue?”

Roses leaned over and whispered in Ann’s ear.

Ann giggled. “Yep, and now that that’s taken care of, let’s go!”

The girls and Vinnie went downstairs and met Vic, Stan, Al, Murry, and Billy Jo, who were riding in the limo with them. They all crowded in and pulled away from the hotel.



~Meanwhile in the guys’ room~

“QUACK!”

“Shut up Bubba!” four voices said.

“Wait, what time is it?” Nothlit asked. “I can’t see the clock down here on the floor.”

“I don’t know, I think Tails said the girls were leaving about an hour ago…” Tyrael answered sleepily.

“Well, that means the limo will be back for us any second now.” Roseidous said, his eyes still closed.

Realizing what he said a few moments later, he leaped out of bed. “Get up!!! We’re going to be late! Roses will kill me!”

Of course, his yelling startled Todd, who fell out of the other bed. Tyrael, still not exactly awake, sat up from his sleeping bag and put his shoes on the wrong feet.

Nothlit glanced at Tyrael. “Now how are you going to put your pants on over your shoes? And how much junk food did you eat yesterday anyway?”

“I dunno, but it was some good stuff. Ya want some leftover cheese crackers for breakfast?”

“Um..no thanks.”

After eventually getting dressed and making their way downstairs (and after stopping Bubba from eating the entire Continental Breakfast buffet) they climbed into the limousine and headed for the Viva Las Vegas Wedding Chapel.

Roses paced back and forth in the bridal room.

“Where is he?”

“You know them, they’ll be late.” Ann told her.

“When he gets here it’s OFF WITH HIS HEAD!” Roses screamed at no one in particular.

Holli and Tails thought it was a good idea to go check on how everything was going inside the Chapel. Just at that moment, the limo arrived with the guys.

“Hey Holli! Tails! I made it!” Roseidous said, running inside to avoid the rain. Then he lowered his voice, “Is Roses mad?”

Holli laughed. “Just a little, but luckily for you, she doesn’t have her whip.”

Roseidous looked relieved. “Good. So how’s everything out here? Have the guests arrived yet?”

“Yeah, Katherine, lone, Yoda, OMEGA, Jaina, Crayak, Pen, TAS, Cait, Fitey, John Lord of Darkness (dramatic reverb), and everyone else are here. And I haven’t seen Goober or John Lord of Darkness (dum dum duuum!) and his Hatchet men yet. Which is a good thing.”

Suddenly, they heard Bubba. “QUACK!”

“No!! Not the food!” one of Al’s heads yelled.

CRASH!

“Uh-oh.”

“Watch out!”

Nothlit, Todd, and Tyrael ran inside the chapel to see what was going on. Roseidous, Holli and Tails quickly followed.

Bubba was eating all of the food on Al’s table. Well, the food that he hadn’t already knocked to the floor. Tyrael, as best man, felt it was his duty to stop him. That, and he had been trained to handle Bubba at Camp Milk and Cookies, even if he didn’t write about it in his journal. Unfortunately, on his way over, Tyrael tripped over Billy Jo, who was showing Katherine to her seat. Todd, who was chasing Tyrael, in an attempt not to fall over them, ended up sliding across the polished floor directly into the Elvis impersonator and his hula girls. Elvis was knocked into Murry’s musical equipment, which started playing the “Wedding March” at about 27 times normal volume. Nothlit stepped in some of the cake that Bubba had dropped and crashed into Vic. He jumped up and ran to the other side of the room very quickly to avoid being killed by the gnome and tripped over Stan’s equipment, setting off the indoor fireworks. Murry laughed evilly amid the chaos as the guests got up and ran out, covering their ears. Holli, Tails, and Roseidous just stared.

“Cwap…” Roseidous said, as Al reached over and pulled the plug on Murry’s sound system. “Who’s going to tell Roses?”

At that moment, the owner of the Viva Las Vegas Wedding Chapel flew into the room, very angry.

“You!” she said, pointing at Roseidous. “You and all of your guests are officially banned from the Viva Las Vegas Wedding Chapel! Get out NOW!”

“But…but…where are we supposed to get married?” Roseidous asked.

“I don’t care, get out!”

“Fine, but I want my deposit back!”

A look from the owner stopped any further protests and they left the room. Holli and Tails went to get Ann and Roses.

Roses ran out of the Viva Las Vegas Wedding Chapel and up to Roseidous. She slapped him.

“What did you do? You ruined my wedding!”

“I did no such thing! It was Bubba! And it’s okay, we’ll just find somewhere else to get married, calm down, sweetie. And you look very nice in that dress, by the way.”

“Shut up.”

“Okay.”

“I have an idea!” Holli said. “Since you can’t get married *in* the Viva Las Vegas Wedding Chapel, why not get married next to it?”

“You mean, like in the alley?” Ann asked.

“Why not? It’ll make for an interesting story to tell everyone.”

Roseidous looked at Roses hopefully. She stared at everyone. Bubba, who was covered in cake, had managed not to forget Bunny and the rings. That was a miracle in itself. Murry and Al were bringing out what was left of the food and the sound system, with help from Stan. Nothlit, Todd, Tyrael, Holli, Tails, Ann, and Vinnie were waiting for Roses’ response, clearly willing to have the ceremony in the alley. Vic glared at everyone. The guests were standing in the parking lot, wondering what to do.

“Okay, fine, let’s just get this over with.” Roses marched off towards the back of the Viva Las Vegas Wedding Chapel.

“Yay!” Roseidous said, chasing her.

As soon as everyone was assembled in the dark alley, Vic began the ceremony.

“We are gathered here today to celebrate the marriage of Roses and Roseidous.”

“I object!” Katherine yelled. “You can’t perform wedding ceremonies!”

“This is not a courtroom, and as president of the Gnome Liberation Front, I can too!” Vic yelled back.

“Oh, okay. I just wanted to say I object.” Katherine sat back down.

“And um…so here we are!” Vic said, getting lost. “And now…we are…going to um…let’s see here…”

“Ann’s going to recite a poem she wrote just for the wedding.” Rosey told him.

Ann handed Holli her flower and walked to stand in front of everyone. She began reciting:


“I sit at home and watch TV
With my dog Bob, he's my only family
As I sit and eat my pie
Something on the screen catches my eye
I lean forward eagerly and Bob, he barks
The scene they show is in the middle of the Ozarks
There's a stage in the center with lights shining down
I bet they can see them all around town
Standing on the stage, wiggling his pelvis,
Was the owner of my dream job, an impersonator of Elvis
I could be on stage singing to everyone
Instead of cleaning pools, which isn't much fun
The wonderful hair, the sparkly clothes
I could curl my lip way up to my nose
All the old ladies, swooning in the crowd
I'd throw my scarf at them; they'd scream really loud
It's now time to forget my dream until later
Oh, I should have been an Elvis impersonator.”


Everyone applauded, even Tyrael, who looked slightly lost. Elvis, standing in the background, wiped his eyes and went back into the chapel.

Vic, meanwhile, was completely confused. “I have no idea what comes next,” he admitted.

“We’re going to say our wedding vows.” Roseidous announced.

“Yeah, that’s it.” Vic frowned. “At least, I think that’s next.”

“If not, it can be.” Roses said

Roseidous grabbed Roses’ hand and they stared deep into each other eyes. Then they started laughing at each other.

“Okay, okay, hang on.” Roses tried to catch her breath, “I’ll go first.”

“Rosey, I love you. You make me laugh. And you let me make fun of you. And um….I promise to not torture you too often, and I promise to not force you to be serious for more than five minutes every day. I think I want to spend the rest of my life with you, as long as the clones aren’t there every day. And….um…yeah, that’s it.”

Roseidous turned to look at Tyrael.

“Where are my vows?” he whispered.

Todd grabbed a piece of paper out of his pocket. “I have them.”

Roseidous turned back to Roses, unfolded the paper and began to read.

“Roses, you are the prettiest girl I’ve seen so far today. That makes me want to stay with you forever. You are what I think about when I walk my dog. You are better than Sally. You’re sometimes better than the clones. You have hands. And feet. And eyes. And hair. And I really, really like you.”

“Okay, now it’s time for the rings.” Vic said.

Roseidous reached out to take them from Bunny, who was being held by Bubba.

Suddenly, Ian and Silent Jim jumped from atop the Viva Las Vegas Wedding Chapel. They reached out to grab the rings. And missed. No one noticed.

“Curses!” John, Lord of Darkness, (dum, dum, duuuum!) yelled from his viewing point behind the wall, as Ian and Silent Jim landed in a dumpster.

Roses and Roseidous exchanged rings, engraved with the date and the Tri-Leader symbol. And the ceremony reached its conclusion.

“You may now kiss the bride.” Vic announced. Everyone laughed.

Roses and Roseidous stared at each other.

“Well…why not?” Roseidous said, and leaned over and kissed Roses.

Silence.

“What?” Roses demanded.

“It’s just weird, that’s all.” Ann said. “I mean, whoever expected the ceremony to actually make it this far?”

“No one. That’s the surprise.” Roseidous said.

“Time for the reception…with whatever food’s left.” Al announced to the guests.

Murry turned up the sound on his music system. Nothing happened.

“What’s wrong with it?” Tyrael asked.

“I don’t know! But I will kill whoever broke it!” Murry screamed.

Adam opened the CD player and took out a broken CD.

“Um…oops. Guess that broke when Elvis fell on it.” Todd said, wondering if anyone would blame him for knocking Elvis over.

“Oh, well, it’s not our CD anyway.” Al’s responsible head told them. “Looks like it’s by someone named ‘Yoko.’”

“Yeah, here’s the Tri-Leader CD.” Tyrael said, handing it over. Murry hit play and the Tri-Leader Theme Song began to play.

After tango-ing around the alley, Roses and Roseidous decided to make their escape in the newly decorated (thanks to Tyrael, Adam, and Todd) van.

“Yay! Time for the honeymoon!” Roseidous said, looking at Roses as she tried to find somewhere to put her feet among all the empty cans and junk food wrappers.

“Yay! Time for Disney World!” Roses said, throwing her bouquet behind her, not looking to see who caught it.

“Um…yeah…about Disney World…” Roseidous began, as they drove off into the rain.



~Back in the Alley~

Roses’ bouquet fell apart as it flew through the air. Tails, Holli, and Ann each caught part of it.

“You know what that means, don’t you?” Todd asked Ann.

“No, and neither do you.” she responded.

“It means that all three of you are getting married next.” Katherine pointed out, as the other guests stood up to leave.

Nothlit and Holli, Tails and Tyrael, and Ann and Todd looked at each other. An hour later, all three couples were married.

“So where are we going for our honeymoons?” Tails asked.

“I think we should go to the same place Roses and Roseidous are going.” Tyrael told her.

“Disney World?” Ann asked.

“Weeeelll…no. Rosey isn’t taking her to Disney World.” Nothlit said.

“Does she know that?”

“Probably by now.”

“Where are they going?” Holli wondered.

“I heard something about the Newlywed Game.” Todd said.

“Cool! Let’s go and see which couple can win! I bet we can!” Tails said, poking Tyrael.

“Wait, who’s the host?”

“Doesn’t matter, as long as it’s not John, Lord of Darkness (dum dum duuuum!)” Ann said. “He’d probably try to break up all of our marriages.”

“Yeah, probably.”


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