After being sent to several dimensions in Adventures in Time and Space, our cast has arrived here. But little did they know, John, Lord of Darkness (dum dumm dummmm!!!), Ian, and Silent Jim followed them into the Fortress. They also used the time machine and have appeared in this world.
Roseidous:
Roseidous looked out the command window on the bridge of the space station. "Sally, come in! Sally, do you copy?" No answer. Of course, she was a blow-up doll.
"We've lost her,” the captain said.
"We have to go and get her!" Roseidous exclaimed
The captain looked at Roseidous with mild annoyance. "I'm not going to risk another pod."
Feeling helpless, Roseidous turned away from the window, and exited the bridge. He saw a pod prepped and ready for launch. He looked back into the bridge. They were all busy. If he was going to do anything for Sally, now was the time.
Roseidous jumped into the pod's one-man seat, and strapped himself in. He flicked a few switches, and the pod's door began to close. The docking clamps slowly pushed the pod out of the docking bay, and with a metal clank, he was released.
Roseidous grabbed the joystick and turned his pod forward, toward the electromagnetic storm. He'd be damned if he let anything happen to Sally. He punched the accelerator rockets, and zoomed away from the station. The captain's voice crackled on.
"Roseidous, what are you doing?!"
"I'm just rescuing my blow-up doll, sir." Roseidous flicked off the radio.
The radar suddenly registered Sally's pod. Roseidous hit the afterburners and raced towards the signal. Soon he was in visual range, but suddenly, in a bright fizzling purple light, the pod vanished. And then Roseidous' pod jerked to the side, shaking violently. He had been hit by the same thing Sally had been. He reappeared, and then disappeared. Only to reappear again.
A planet filled his view. But it wasn't Saturn. He began descending rapidly towards it. The controls were unresponsive. He was going down…
John:
Roseidous' pod streaked through the cloud cover of the planet, like a knife made of light, stabbing into fluffy white flesh. The narrator felt proud of himself for his vivid description, and then continued.
Roseidous looked out the window, surveyed the landscape as he streaked towards the ground. Lush, green jungles spread out almost as far as the eye could see, but out in the distance he could see traces of what might be a desert. The pod smashed through the treetops, snapping tree trunks like graham crackers smashed over the head of a wily mongoose. Or like twigs, whichever description you prefer. The pod slammed into a swamp, water spraying into the air as pillars of steam. The pod sank like a stone. Roseidous panicked, fumbled around the cockpit, found the canopy release switch, and pulled.
Water poured in like a tidal wave, and Roseidous barely had time to unbuckle his seat belt, get out of his space suit, clean, reload and polish his gun, iron his pants, get the Easy mac out of the microwave and eat it, and watch a "Diff'rent Strokes" marathon. Yep, he had barely finished watching the last episode, laughing at Gary Coleman's antics and continuous use of the phrase "Whatchootalkinbout?" before water filled the pod. Roseidous swam upwards, upwards toward the surface, broke through the water, and breathed. He pulled himself out of the swamp and sat, panting on the bank. He took out his pocket communicator.
"Space Station Omphale, this is Roseidous. Space Station Omphale, do you read?" Static. He tried a different channel.
"Sally? You there? Sally? SALLYYYYYYYYYYY!" Nothing. Roseidous sighed, put the communicator back in his pocket, checked his pistol, and headed out into the woods.
***
Roseidous had been wandering in the jungle for hours when he heard the noise. It was a sharp, distinctive noise. In other words, he heard a CRACK!
CRACK!
Roseidous spun around, just as something came out of the brush. It was a guy. Human. Male. He was wearing what looked like a burlap bag. His eyes were wide with fear.
"Well, hello there. My name is Roseidous, you may know me from my brief work on the Corn Pops commercials." He struck a pose. The man stared, blinked, and ran past him. "Hey! Come back! The commercial wasn't THAT bad!" Then, he heard another noise behind him. It sounded like a crack... again...
CRACK!
Roseidous slowly, slowly turned around. Behind him stood a woman. Tall, wearing black, ornate armor. She looked at him with a mixture of hate and disgust. Roseidous thought she was checking him out.
"Hey baby, you know what I would do if I was in charge of the alphabet?" he said, trying his best to sound suave.
The woman just stared.
"I'd put 'U' and 'I' together! Get it!"
The woman moved so fast, he barely saw her hands move. He did, however, feel it when she whacked him upside the head with a stick and tried to throw a net over him.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!" Roseidous ran. He soon became aware of about twenty men running with him. And he also noticed about a dozen armored women chasing them.
"Boy, I always wanted the girls chasing after me, but this is crazy!" he said. There was a brief sound of drums and cymbals, signifying that he had told a joke.
One by one, the men around him were dragged down, captured in nets and beaten into submission. Soon, Roseidous was the only one left. He saw a clearing ahead, if he could just make it there...
WHAM!
The blow sent Roseidous sprawling forwards, out into the clearing. Someone had swung down from a branch above him and kicked him in his back, with both feet. His assailant leapt through the air and landed, her feet an inch from Roseidous's face. Even from here, it was easy to tell this one was different. She was wearing gold armor, not black, and it was definitely more ornate than the others. He looked up, starting from the feet, up to the legs, up to the stomach, up to the chest... paused on the chest... forced himself to look up, and arrived at her face. His entire body froze. He knew that face.
It was Ann. Ann Chovi.
"ANN! Oh Ann I'm so glad to see you!" He cried, wrapping his arms around one of her legs. "There were these women, and they had sticks and they were chasing me and-"
Ann shook him off by kicking him in the face. "Get your filthy hands off me, you damn, dirty man!"
Roseidous jerked in shock and pain.
"...Ann?"
"SILENCE!" She bellowed, and whacked him over the head with her stick. He was knocked out cold.
"Put him in the cart with the others," Ann said. Then she sneered. "The General will want to see this one..."
Roseidous woke up in a jail. The room was all stone, except for the hay on the floor, and the iron bars that separated the prisoners from the outside world. The jail was broken up into individual cells, most of them packed with people, all men. There were only two other guys in his cell. They had their backs to him. One of them, the taller one, turned around to see if he was awake, and Roseidous gasped.
"It..it's you!" Roseidous said, pointing at the other guy wildly.
The guy paused and said. "Yeah... I'd think it's me... unless I'm someone else..."
"You- you're John! John, Lord of Darkness(Dum Dumm Duuuuuum!)"
The guy blinked. "Well... my name is John... but I'm no Lord of Darkness."
"(Dum Dumm Duuuuuum!)"
"Uh... yeah..."
Roseidous blinked. "You really don't recognize me?"
"No... should I?"
Just then, the other guy turned around.
"Hey Ian, I think this guy got hit on the had a little too hard..." John said to the other guy.
Roseidous started pointing wildly again. "Ian! Ian, King of Unparalleled Nastiness!"
Ian blinked.
Roseidous's arm dropped. "Let me guess, you have no idea who I am, or that you have that title."
"Nope. None of us guys have titles."
"What? You mean you prisoners?"
"No, I mean all males."
Roseidous jerked in surprise.
John explained. "Ok, maybe you have amnesia or something, so I'll try and refresh your memory. Since the beginning of time, women have always been the superior gender. And since the beginning of time we males have been nothing but... um... breeding stock..."
"What?" Roseidous asked, confused.
"Um... we're... concubines..."
"Huh?"
"WE'RE MAN WHORES!!!!!" Ian exploded. Nobody seemed to notice.
"Wait... so you mean, your only purpose in life is to... uh... copulate?" Roseidous asked.
"You mean f***ing?" Ian said bluntly.
"Uh...yeah."
"Well then, yes, that's our only purpose." John said.
"Then why are you guys so depressed?!" Roseidous exclaimed. "You guys are freakin pimps!! You're livin it up!"
"Did I mentioned that we're treated like pack animals?" John said.
Roseidous sagged. "Oh. Never mind."
Suddenly, it occurred to him. A tiny spark in his brain suddenly turned into a roaring fire of inspiration (oooh! Good writing!)
"Holy beans!" Roseidous exclaimed. "The electro-magnetic storm! Somehow, I must have been transported to an alternate dimension. Well, at least that explains all of you..."
Ian and John exchanged looks.
"I'll explain later," Roseidous said.
Suddenly, a trumpet fanfare roared into the room. A dozen armored women ran into the room, covered all the cells, watching every prisoner. A short, thin man wearing a pillowcase walked into the room.
"All males! Stand at attention in the presence of the Grand General, Leader of the Grand Female Army, and Ruler of All Males!!"
All of the men stood, and Roseidous mimicked them. And then, the Grand General came strolling down the steps.
She wore golden armor, with a blood red cape flowing behind her. On her head, she wore a crown. She wore a triumphant sneer, and her eyes burned with pure hatred and disgust at the men around her. Roseidous recognized her, and wasn't the least bit surprised at who it was.
It was Roses.
Roses:
Roses surveyed the prisoners. Horrible, disgusting men she thought to herself.
"How many were recaptured?" she demanded of the nearest guard.
"They were all caught, Your Highness. And we managed to find and capture a new male prisoner."
"Where is this new one?"
"In the cage with John and Ian."
Roses walked down the row of cells until she arrived at John's. John and Ian stood at attention in front of their ruler, and the new prisoner was obviously watching them, attempting to do the same.
"New one, what is your name?" Roses asked.
Roseidous finally decided that he was here by accident, and this whole prisoner thing was a big mistake.
"Well, you see, Roses, I'm Roseidous. You know, the one you call Rosey. And we tried to take over the world that one time, and we're Tri-Leaders, and you know Sally, right? Well, it's all her fault for going out in her spaceship alone. I had to go get here, and I ended up here. And by the way, nice costume, this is a really good joke you all are pulling on me."
"Silence!" Roses yelled at him.
"But..."
"I said be QUIET!" she cracked her whip.
"Ooh, that's a real whip, isn't it? Where did you get that?"
At this point, John came up behind Roseidous and clamped his hand over his mouth. "If you know what's good for you, shut up." he whispered.
Roseidous ducked out of his grip. "No. Not you, too. How did they get you to play along? Promise you some cookies?"
"What are cookies?"
"You don't have cookies? Wait....you mean....this is really a parallel universe?"
"Yes." Roses answered him. "And if you can't learn to follow orders, you will regret ever coming to this planet."
"What do you mean?" Roseidous asked.
Roses sighed. "You are going to be a difficult one to train. I can see you need special treatment."
"Special treatment?"
Roses marched back to the doorway and addressed the servant standing there. "Man-slave Tyrael, go get my Commander."
"Yes ma'am." Tyrael ran off.
Roseidous gasped. "Tyrael followed orders? Then, I really am here? And Roses is in charge?"
"Of the whole planet." John said. "She's not so bad as long as you worship her and her friends and do what she tells you."
Suddenly, the warrior in gold armor walked in.
"Ann, I see you found a new slave for us."
"I did."
"He's not very obedient."
"I know, we should probably call in the special training unit."
"That was my idea exactly."
"I'll go get them, do you know where they are?" Ann offered.
"I think Holli and Tails are eating dinner now."
"Be back soon," Ann said, quickly walking out with a flash, as her armor caught the light.
"Noooo!!!! Not Holli and Tails!!!!" Roseidous yelled. "Anyone but them!"
Roses laughed. "Oh, you're heard of them? But they will train you so well. It will be worth it in the end. To me, at least."
She turned to leave and all the female soldiers went behind her.
"Goodnight, my slaves. You will all be punished tomorrow for your escape attempt. You're lucky my soldiers caught you before you got too far away. Then it would have been a much worse punishment." she said with a final look over her shoulder and an evil grin.
"Which reminds me," she said. "Man-slave Nothlit made us some evil gin today, let's go have some to celebrate a new prisoner."
Holli:
"You know, Man-Slave Tyrael is not a very good cook." Holli picked up a green slimy thing with her fork and watched as it plopped back onto her plate.
"Holli! It's not that bad- I mean, this was his first time cooking in the kitchen." Tails laughed, "besides, watch this."
Tails throw a green blob to the ceiling above the door and whistled for a servant to come. Soon footsteps were heard and a shadow appeared against the wall.
---PLOP---
Tails and Holli burst out laughing as the figure wiped the goo from his face.
Only, it wasn't a he...
"Alright- who did it!?" Ann yelled. Tails and Holli pointed to each other, but then noticed man slave Nothlit walking into the room and pointed to him. "Nothlit! You will face Roses for this crime." Holli and Tails laughed, Nothlit whimpered, and Ann approached the table.
"Ann, you look very lovely today." Holli smiled innocently.
"The goo lightens your eyes, it looks very pretty." Tails handed Ann a napkin.
"For some reason I doubt Nothlit was the one who threw the goo..." Ann grumbled. "But, we have a new captive today. He needs to be trained, for some reason his ego still exists."
"Men can have egos?" Tails asked, perplexed.
"Apparently so, extreme measures are to be taken with this one."
"Oh, I like extreme..." Holli grinned.
"Me too." Tails agreed. "We will have fun with this one..."
John:
John and Ian stared, open mouthed at Roseidous. He had just finished explaining where he had come from, how he had gotten there, and how things were supposed to be in his universe. John and Ian had originally thought he was nuts, and yet... and yet... there was something in how he described how they acted in his universe that sounded somehow... John couldn't quite put his finger on it, but something told him it was the truth. However, he wasn't exactly happy about what he'd heard...
"So, you're telling me that in your universe you're taking over the world with cookies And I can't beat you?!" John said, outraged.
"And you insist on having a (Dum Dumm Duuuuuum!) after your name." Roseidous added.
"What sort of a moron am I?!"
"The stupid type." Ian said... uh... helpfully.
Something occurred to John. "Wait... what did you say the name of your space station was?"
"The Omphale."
John started to laugh hysterically. After about ten minutes, Roseidous began to get annoyed.
"What?! What's so funny about the name Omphale?"
"Don't you know who Omphale is?" John asked, still laughing. "Of course you don't, but anyway, Omphale was a queen in Greek mythology. She made Hercules serve her for a few years, and as long as he was her slave, she made him walk around in a dress! God is that horrible irony!" He cracked up again. "Especially for Ian, because he's Ann's personal man servant and, yes, she does make him walk around in a dress."
"Shut up!" Ian snapped, his face an odd shade of red.
Roseidous blinked.
"Wait... how do you know about Greek mythology?" he asked.
John stopped laughing. "One time when I got tortured, they tied me up for an hour and made me memorize useless facts. That was one of them."
"But how do they know? The women, I mean?"
John looked confused. "I... I don't know... The women know lots of stuff we don't."
Roseidous raised an eyebrow. "Hmm..."
Just then, Ann strode in. All of the men stood at attention.
"Sit down you worms!" She snapped. She walked over to Roseidous's cell.
"We've got something planned for you, newcomer." She sneered through the bars at him. Then, to the rest, she said:
"As for you slugs, it's feeding time! But, since some of you decided to run away, food has been, ahem, 'rationed.' I hope you aren't hungry." She threw back her head and laughed evilly. Suddenly, one of the prisoners was up, thrusting his hand through the bars of the cell, a long bladed knife in his hand. Ann moved like lightning. Before Roseidous had time to blink, she had grabbed the prisoner's hand, twisting his arm until he dropped the knife.
"Ah, Jim. Smuggling weapons again, I see. Well, after Holli and Tails are done with the new guy, they'll... deal... with you..."
All of the prisoners immediately turned to look at Roseidous.
"Holli and Tails...?" Roseidous didn't even want to know what they were like in this dimension.
John whispered. "Holli and Tails are torture specialists. They're the ones who made me memorize all of the useless facts. I'm sure they've got something really bad in store for you."
Roseidous grimaced. "Thanks for the optimism."
Just then, Holli and Tails walked in. Ann and another soldier grabbed Roseidous and dragged him out of the cell.
Holli smiled evilly. "Now the fun begins!" She and Tails laughed maniacally.
Holli:
"So this is the infamous Roseidous?" Holli asked as she walked around him.
"He's rather scrawny..." Tails poked him in the side. Roser responded with a giggle "Shush boy.,”
"I bet we could tie him to a tree with some rope..." Holli offered.
"Nah- we've done that so many times before- let's do something new." Tails responded as she bound his hands together.
"Something exciting?" Holli put a gag over the boy's mouth as he whimpered like a small puppy.
"Something deadly exciting." Tails grinned, the dim light made it appear as though her eyes glowed- Roseidous whimpered more.
"Oh- that sounds so evil, Tails." Holli and Tails led him up the stairs to another room.
"I know." Tails and Holli laughed in a manic tone.
Katherine:
Katherine stared at her torture teacher. Lone was talking about uses for whips other than...whipping. She demonstrated on TAS.
Katherine enjoyed using whips, and learning about them, but smearing pig feces on them and making slaves lick them clean was something she had realized to be useful when she was 6. She often enjoyed torture class though, and tomorrow Tails was coming to teach! That was going to be SO much fun.
Katherine enjoyed downtrodding boys as much as any other girl, but she had weird dreams about a weird universe where there were actually decent boys, but she didn't know many, and all of the male gender were treated as equals! Some even treated girls and women as less! What kind of dreams were those?
After class, Lone wanted a talk with her.
"Katherine." she began. "It's been decided that you're ready for a docile, downtrodden manslave. We found a perfect one this afternoon. Bring him in, you sniveling idiot!" The last sentence was, obviously, directed at TAS.
A boy a few years older than Kat walked in. He was relatively normal, other than the weird, glowing blue eyes. But she figured that they wouldn't give her a dangerous slave.
"His name is Omega. Enjoy him, my dear."
John:
John slammed his fist angrily against the wall of the cell. He had been pacing back and forth for about an hour now, mumbling angrily. Ian squatted on the floor, watching him with growing frustration. Finally, Ian snapped.
"Ok, why the heck are you pacing around?!"
John stopped. "Why aren't we doing something?" he demanded angrily.
Ian rolled his eyes. "What, about that Roseidous guy?"
"He's from another freakin' dimension!!" John raged.
"You actually believed that? The guy was nuts!"
"No... no. It felt... right... somehow, the way he described his dimension. Something..." John gave up trying to find the words. "Anyway, this guy could be our chance out of here! Think about it: an entire dimension where men aren't slaves! We could live like kings!"
"Ok, fine. But we need a plan." Ian said.
"And I've got one." John said. He turned to the cell next to his.
"Hey! Jim!"
The prisoner who called himself Jim came over to the divider bars.
"What?" He whispered.
"Do you still have those shocker things you made a while back?"
"Yeah, of course. Why?" Suddenly Jim's eyebrows shot up. "You're not thinking about escaping are you?"
"Of course I am! Besides, what could go wrong?"
"Well, my electric tranquilizer weapon looks innocent enough, but the guards see us try to attack them with anything they'll torture us."
"That's why we need a distraction..." John said. He turned around, looked at Ian, and smiled evilly. "And I think I know exactly what to do..."
Ian gulped.
John walked to the front of the cell, put his face between the bars, and yelled, at the top of his lungs:
"GUARD! COME QUICK! IAN'S PLEASURING HIMSELF!!!!!!"
Ian looked like he'd been hit. John heard footsteps approaching the dungeon rapidly.
"Oh no Ian!" He yelled again. "Don't try and put it away! We all saw you!"
The guard stormed into the dungeon.
"You're dead meat!" She snarled. "You insolent, perverted-"
TZZZAP!
Jim hit the guard with what looked like a small, black rectangle. The part that touched the guard crackled with electricity, and the guard was unconscious instantly. Jim reached over, grabbed her keys, and unlocked his cell. He quickly unlocked John and Ian's along with all the other cells down the hall.
"Ok," John said, as Jim handed him and Ian their own stunners. "Let's go."
***
Roseidous didn't ask why he was in a Speedo, because he knew he wasn't going to like the answer. He was shackled to the wall, as the parallel dimension equivalents of Holli, Tails, Lone, and Katherine stood sneering at him. Tails was holding a bag that seemed to have something squirming in it. In the back of the room, man-slaves Omega and Tyrael stood, awaiting their mistress's orders. The four girls, however, were involved in far more important matters.
"Are you enjoying yourself, newcomer?" Holli asked. "We've got some fun lined up for you tonight!. Inside the bag my dear friend Tails is holding are a dozen ill-tempered hermit crabs. We are going to drop them into the front of your pants. I'm sure it will be very painful."
"And since you're wearing that," Tails said, pointing at his Speedo. "I'm sure they won't get lost!" The four laughed manically.
Tails turned to Katherine. "I hope you're paying attention. You'll get to do this yourself some day!"
Katherine tried not to smile too widely or cruelly.
Roseidous struggled, but the shackles held. Holli and Tails approached, slowly, dragging the seconds out until Roseidous felt his head would explode from the tension. Tails reached into the bag and pulled out a single crab. It twisted and thrashed in the air, pincers, and feet as sharp as pins. Tails raised it slowly, slowly...
"SNOOTCH TO THE MOTHER F***ING NOOCH!"
John, Ian, and Jim dropped from the ceiling. It was Ian, of course, who had yelled. John and Ian quickly stunned Holli and Tails, just as they had been about to drop the hermit crab onto a very uncomfortable place on Roseidous' body. They quickly unlocked the shackles, using Tails' keys, as Jim stunned Katherine. He turned to stun Lone-
WHAM!
Lone kneed Jim, and shoved past him.
"You'll all rot for this!" She yelled as she reached the door.
WONK!
Lone fell over, as a hermit crab whacked her in the back of the head. She saw little stars and cartoony hermit crabs with big happy smiles... and then she passed out.
Roseidous, who had thrown it, harumphed.
"Harumph!"
Ian handed Roseidous his clothes, trying not to look at the much, much too small Speedo. Meanwhile, John spoke to Tyrael and Omega, filling them in. Roseidous walked over.
"Let me guess: Omega, you're not a fourth dimensional being are you?"
Omega shook his head. "No, I'm not..."
Roseidous sighed in exasperation.
"...Here, at least." Omega said, smiling craftily.
Roseidous straightened. "What do you..."
"Yeah, Roseidous, I know."
"But how..."
"You really should learn to finish your questions." Omega said. "Anyway, it's pretty obvious, isn't it? I'm a fourth dimensional being, I can travel between dimensions at will." He frowned. "Unfortunately, when I came here, I became completely three dimensional and I can't escape."
"Weird."
"Tell me about it."
John, Ian, Jim, and Tyrael stood, silent.
"So... it's true?" Ian said in disbelief.
"Well yeah! That's what I've been saying!" Roseidous said.
"Wow," Tyrael said. "A universe where my amazing rear end would actually receive attention..."
There was silence. Everyone moved a little further away from Tyrael.
"What?"
Roseidous changed the subject.
"So how did you guys get stun guns?"
"Don't you know?" Ian said. "Jim's a technological genius! He's like McGuyver. No, he's BETTER than MacGuyver!"
"-No he's BETTER than MacGuyver!" Roseidous said at the same time. Ian jerked in surprise.
"Don't ask. Come on, let's get out of here before the guards get back." Roseidous said. The six quickly snuck out of the cell.
Roses:
A series of alarms went off in Roses' throne room.
"What is that?" she demanded of Ann.
"I don't know, I didn't think we had alarms."
"Oh. Well go see what it is."
Ann left the room. Roses heard the alarms continue for a few minutes, then silence.
Ann returned. "It was the servants in the kitchen. They got into man-slave Nothlit's evil gin. They were using the pots and pans as drums. I stopped them."
"Good. So what's for dinner?"
"I don't know, looks like they were making----"
The door to the throne room suddenly flew open. Lone practically fell inside, looking rather disheveled, as if she had been fighting with someone. There was a hermit crab in her hair.
"Training too hard in class today?" Roses asked, amused.
"No. Holli, Tails, Katherine, and I were torturing the new guy. Then John, Ian, and Jim jumped from the ceiling and stunned us. The prisoners have escaped. Again."
Roses stared....
"WHAT???"
"Um..yes...what are your orders?"
Roses turned to Ann. "Seal off the gates! Don't let them out of the fortress! Get all the guards together. Find them!"
Ann ran from the room.
"Where are Holli, Tails, and Katherine now?" Roses asked Lone.
"They're still in the torture chamber."
"Well, go wake them up."
~Meanwhile~
"Ouch!"
"Hey, watch where you're going!"
"Stop stepping on my feet!"
"Quiet!"
The guys were wandering around in the darkest corridors of the fortress. They were attempting to find an escape route. However, all the exits were now blocked.
"Well, there's got to be a way out of here somehow." Roseidous said.
"Oh, yeah, so the new guy thinks he knows everything. Hey, I've been here for years, there is no way out of this corridor." John told him.
"Wait....so you're escaped before?"
"All the time. Makes for great excitement." Tyrael said.
"Oh."
They continued walking until they reached the end of the corridor.
"Now what? We're trapped, there's no way out, Roses is going to catch me and give me to Ann, or even worse, to Holli and Tails and they're going to torture me and then they'll...."
John slapped him. "Shut up."
"Just watch." Jim told him.
Ian backed up a little, then threw himself at the brick wall, seemingly trying to knock it down. As he collapsed on the floor, the bricks began to slide apart, revealing a secret passageway.
"I thought you said there was no way out."
"No, we just wanted to see what you would say." TAS said.
They entered the secret passage, found the escape ladder, climbed it, and emerged into the forest to find themselves surrounded by Ann, Lone, Holli, Tails, and Katherine.
"Guys, come on. You used the over the wall thing last time, and the week before that it was swimming from the indoor pool, through the water supply, and down the river. And the time before that, you escaped in the garbage. This was obviously the next choice. You're getting so predictable." Ann said.
"Cwap." Roseidous said.
"Nah, just follow our lead." Omega whispered.
"Hey Roses! What are you doing out here?" John said loudly, waving. The other girls turned around to see if Roses was indeed outside, and if so to ask why. The boys ran off in the other direction.
"Catch them!" Holli yelled.
"Where are we going?" Roseidous shouted, as they ran through the woods.
"Doesn't matter, they'll catch us in a little while." Jim shouted back at him.
"Wait! I have an idea! Follow me!"
Roseidous turned toward where he thought his crashed spaceship and the swamp were, and the others followed him.
"Why are we listening to the new guy?" Ian asked John.
"Who cares? We'll get caught anyway."
"Yeah, that's true."
Pr Crew:
All of a sudden, Roseidous fell into a huge hole and yelled "CWAP!!!"
Then everyone else fell on him. When they all got untangled from each other, they looked up to see one of the most amazing things ever......Pr Crew!
"This looks like a tunnel you just dug, you even have dirt all over you, and you're carrying a shovel." Roseidous said.
"No I'm just dirty and catch dinner by hitting animals with shovels." Pr said
"Oh that's all?" Tyrael asked.
"Could I interest you guys in anything? I have Rolex's, fish, or some maps to the stars?" Pr said.
"Errr..uh, no." TAS said.
"Hey um...Pr, do you know who I am?" Roser asked hopefully.
"Are you the cops! I didn't do it!" Pr said.
"Guess not." OMEGA sighed.
"Do you guys hear that? It sounds like Holli!"
"Come on guys! I know a way out!" Pr picked up his shovel and led the way down the tunnel.
Holli:
Meanwhile, Holli, Tails, and Lone stood waiting at the top of the hole behind Pr Crew. It would only be a few seconds before Pr noticed them, and Katherine had readied the Jello filled water balloons.
"Think we should let them get to the edge of the grounds this time?" Lone asked.
"Nah, Then they will think they actually can escape." Tails replied.
"Maybe we should unleash the secret weapon?" Katherine thought aloud. She didn't know what this secret weapon was though- she just thought saying that aloud sounded nice.
Evil grins spread on the faces of all the girls.
Pr Crew:
"You know I can hear the girls! Come on, guys, if you want to live!" Pr yelled and led the boys all into some tunnels in his hole.
"See guys, I escaped a couple of years ago. I decided to live in this hole. Plus I sneak onto the grounds and steal stuff and sell it for really high prices. Guess no one ever noticed me."
As they were crawling through the tunnels as fast as possible, Pr yelled "Stop!" Then he closed an iron door behind them. They crawled a little bit further and entered a huge room with all kinds of stolen stuff.
Katherine:
"Hey there." said a way-too-familiar voice. Think Hello Clarisse sort of thing. Roseidous looked in all the wrong directions. Pr Crew spotted the kid in the corner.
"Ahhhhhhhhhh! Wrongclosetwrongcloset!"
"Eh, shaddup."
The rest of the boys turned.
"Nooo!" screamed Omega. She's gonna torture me, she's gonna torture me...
"Shut up, all of you. If they find out I'm still alive, they'll torture me, and she'll find out, and she'll be confused, and it won't work out, and it's like space travel, how it doesn't make any sense however you look at it, and-"
"If you're with Holli, and Tails and them...why are you in here?" asked TAS.
Katherine rolled her eyes. "Cause I'm the GOOD side, you moron."
"You don't SEEM very nice." added Tyrael.
"Yeah, well, suck it up Ty. I said I was good, never said I was nice."
John started rocking back and forth. "Katherine...I am your father."
She stared. Actually, everyone stared. She just stared more.
"It doesn't get any worse, does it? First I get stuck in here when I stop needing the devil horns to hold up that damn halo, and now the Lord of the Weenies is my dad."
John:
Everyone in the room stiffened.
"Did... did you just say Lord of Weenies?" Roseidous asked.
Katherine blinked, shook her head like she was clearing something away, and then said: "Um, yeah...I think."
"That sounds... familiar... somehow..." Tyrael said.
"But it's not right. It... it should be..." John smacked himself upside the head, trying to remember. "I don't know... something about... frilly underpants?"
Silence.
"WHAT?!" John demanded.
"Dude... your talking about frilly underwear again." Ian said.
"Yeah, that's sort of- HEY! GET AWAY FROM THOSE ROLEXES!!!!!" Pr Crew yelled, as he saw Ian and Jim begin to stuff special "Streets of New York" editions of the Rolex in their pockets.
"Hey, dimension boys. Know anything about this frilly underpants thing?" John asked Roseidous and Omega.
The two exchanged knowing looks.
"I'm tellin' you dude. I think there's some sorta gay thing going on with those two." Ian whispered to Jim. Jim smacked him upside the head.
"Ow! What was that for?!"
"ANYWAY," Katherine said, trying to restore order. "If we want to get out of here, we should use Pr's little exit."
"Hey! How do you know about that? It's a secret!" Pr said, incredulous.
"How did you think I got in?"
"Oh." A brief hesitation, then: "Is John really your father?"
"No. Or at least I hope not. Who knows why he says anything?"
"Hey! I'm very capable at what I do!" John said.
"And what's that? Escaping? Well, you sure messed up the last few times." Katherine sneered.
"No thanks to you, of course!"
"Hey! That was my evil side!"
"Everybody shut up!" Roseidous snapped.
Everyone fell silent. He liked the feeling of power, which he didn't feel too much in his own dimension, with Roses always carrying that whip around... He felt a pang of sadness. It was the first time he had realized how bad he wanted to go home. Oh well. Strap it up.
"Ok, let's go through Pr's exit." he said.
"And what about Katherine?' John asked.
"She's coming with us. She's good now, remember?"
"What?! Are you insane?! She can't come with us! She's one of them!" John raged.
"If we want to survive we're gonna need all the help we can get. Katherine comes." Roseidous said, making it clear that the discussion was over.
John felt a sudden wave of anger at having power taken from him, but he relented. Survival was the most important thing. "Ok, fine." He said.
The eight of them crawled through a trap door under the stolen stuff. Just before they left, Ian and Jim grabbed a few Rolexes.
***
Roses stood on the balcony, watching as Ann inspected the troops. Over a hundred female soldiers stood in straight, disciplined rows, black armor dully reflective in the torchlight. Roses looked up. It was a full moon. Perfect for hunting.
"Try to cut them off before they reach the river." Roses ordered when she saw the inspection was done. "Don't try to capture them now. Just go straight to the river and wait for them. They'll have to come there eventually."
"Yes, Majesty." Ann said. She gave a sharp salute and turned away, leading the soldiers out of the gates and into the night.
Katherine:
(Evil) Katherine received her orders from Tails.
"...And...er...Tails?"
"Yes?"
"I thought I saw...er...brown hair. This shade of brown." (Evil) Katherine twisted a small unruly lock around her finger.
Tails paused. She'd heard of experiments...but...who knew?
"I wouldn't worry about it, m'dear."
"Yes Tails."
***
"That was my foot." (Good) Katherine hissed.
"Sorry." Pr hissed back, not sounding sorry.
"Yeah, right."
"Be quiet."
"You be quiet." Katherine said, utilizing each and every one of her ten-year-old skills.
"No, you." said Pr, drawing on his own, slightly rusty ten-year-old skills. Burn fire. Drown water.
"You."
"You."
"It's a good thing you two agree on political stuff, you sure don't agree with much else." intervened Omega.
"He started it."
"Hey! Did not!"
Roses:
"What do you mean, they're not at the river?" Roses asked the girls assembled in the conference room.
They looked at each other before Holli spoke up. "They're just not there."
"They're probably underground in that weird shovel guy's tunnel network." Katherine said.
Everyone stared at her.
"Um...how did I know that?" she asked, looking at Tails.
"I'm not sure what's going on, but we're gonna figure it out." Tails told her.
***
"So where are we going?" John asked Pr Crew.
The guys walked along a tunnel, watching Pr Crew poke the ceiling with the shovel every so often.
"Don't you want to get back to your spaceship so you can escape this planet and go for help?"
"Yeah, that's the idea." Roseidous said. "So...where are we going?"
Pr Crew sighed. "We're going to the swamp to get your spaceship back."
He paused once again to hit the ceiling and this time, he stopped. "Swamp's about two hundred feet down the tunnel, let's dig out right here."
"How do you....nevermind." Omega said.
They managed to take turns and dug a hole big enough for them to fit through. They pushed Katherine up first, just in case there were any girls around.
"All clear." she told them and they climbed out.
They then began walking toward the swamp. The woods were dark, the trees prevented most of the moonlight from reaching them. They couldn't see much of anything, until Tyrael saw a flashing light.
"What's that?"
"What's what?" TAS asked.
"That light."
"I don't know."
"Oh."
"Let's go see" Katherine said, leading the way.
They arrived in a clearing to find what appeared to be a spaceship. Or what used to be a spaceship. It was badly damaged from a crash.
"Hey, is that yours?" Nothlit asked Roseidous.
"No....mine's underwater..."
"Then whose is it?"
"It looks like.....SAAAALLLLLLLLLYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!"
"Who?"
"Sally! She has to be in there!" Roseidous ran to the ship and began digging around in the broken metal pieces.
Everyone else stared at him.
"There's no one there." Ian whispered to Jim.
John and Omega pulled Roseidous away from the ship.
"She's not there." John said. "Sorry, but we have to go before the girls catch us!"
"No." Roseidous said, not moving. "I am not leaving this horrible place without Sally."
***
So they didn't take the river down to the swamp, they used an underground tunnel..." Roses thought to herself. "That's new...But no matter, they won't be leaving, even if they do get the ship."
"Why?" Holli asked.
"Ann, bring in the prisoner."
Ann went into a side room, and came back carrying what appeared to be a plastic woman.
"They'll come back for her."
John:
"Are you NUTS?!" John asked Roseidous.
"You don't know Sally! You wouldn't understand!" Roseidous said indignantly.
"There is no way we are going back to that hell hole! There is no way we're going to have our freedom endangered again because of some romantic attachment you have to a... a...doll!"
Roseidous bristled. "We go back."
"Let's take a vote." John said. "Who wants to go and risk life and limb for some stupid balloon?" No one raised their hands. John turned back around to sneer at Roseidous when suddenly there was a fist in his face.
John staggered and fell, blood leaking from his nose.
"You do NOT call Sally a balloon." Roseidous growled, fists still clenched.
"Why the hell should I listen to you?" John snarled, standing up. "Who do you think you are, newcomer?"
Roseidous swung again, but this time John ducked and returned the punch. Roseidous blocked it an inch from his face.
"You think you know what life is like for us? You think you know what it's like to be a slave?" John raged. "Everyday is another chance to die or be tortured, just because of our master's moods. And now you think that we're going to risk going back to that? Your out of your mind!"
John's next punch caught Roseidous in the side of the head. Roseidous fell, rolled, and came back up. His hand dropped down to... nothing. His laser pistol was gone. He reached down and grabbed a stick off the ground. John did the same.
"We go back." Roseidous growled.
Immediately both John and Roseidous were knocked to the ground and their sticks were broken. Ian and Jim stood over them.
"Will you to just shut the **** up! God, you know a situation is hopeless when I'M the voice of reason!" Ian said.
"Listen," OMEGA said, stepping forward. "Here's what we'll do. Me, Roseidous and Katherine'll go back to the city. You, Ian, Jim, Tyrael and Pr Crew can go off and hide or whatever."
"Oooh. I wish I were as brave as you." Roseidous said sarcastically to John. "Running away instead of freeing someone from your former captors."
"You assume too much." John growled. "Don't you think I have a plan? There are a lot of refugees, but none of them are organized into a resistance. That's what we're gonna do: find the other refugees and storm the city. Once the slaves see us attack, they'll revolt and we'll drive the women out."
"Fine."
"Fine."
And so, the two groups went their separate ways.
"So why am I with you two?" Katherine asked OMEGA.
"Because, we'll need you to help us break in. How are the guards going to tell the difference between you and evil Katherine?"
"Well, I do have this birth mark... but it's somewhere I'm not willing to show you all." Then she winked. "Maybe later."
OMEGA sighed. "You sure are lewd for a ten year old." And then he stopped walking.
"What is it?" Roseidous said, expecting an attack.
"Oh my God... that's it!" OMEGA gasped.
"What's it?"
"Can't you see? The way John is power hungry? The way Ian and Jim act like Jay and Silent Bob? The way Jim is a technological genius? The way Katherine is so lewd? They shouldn't be acting this way!"
Roseidous blinked. "Why not?"
"Because this is an alternate dimension! Everything should be its exact opposite!"
"So what does this mean?"
OMEGA paused for dramatic effect. "The two dimensions are colliding."
A chill ran up Roseidous' spine. "What does that mean? Is this like with a Sario Rip, our universe and this universe will cancel each other out and we'll all cease to exist?"
"No, no. Only one universe will cease to exist, and the other will become reality. And in the end, it's all up to the people it's happening to."
"But that's good, right?" Roseidous asked. "I mean, everyone in our universe will opt to stay in our universe, right?"
"Think about it," OMEGA said. "How many abused wives are there who would love to see their husbands as slaves? How many women are there in the Middle East who would do anything to see men have to keep their faces covered all the time? And, of course, about 99.9% of girls on Earth want to rule the world, wouldn't they rather exist in this universe?"
Roseidous thought for a little. "So what you're saying is that we have to return to our own, on the brink of doom world, so that we don't have to exist in a world where we're slaves?"
"Yeah, pretty much."
"Oh, ok then. How much time do we have left?"
"Judging by all the similarities, probably not much."
"Oh come on, there aren't THAT many similarities."
"Like how Holli and Tails still enjoy torture? Or the way the women know all these useless facts about our world? Or how Katherine called John Lord of Weenies? And how John said it was frilly underwear? And ho-"
"Ok! Ok! I get it!"
The three continued to make their way through the swamp.
***
Ann brought the thing up to Roses. As she walked up the seemingly endless staircase, she studied it again. It seemed to be made from metal, all black, and rectangular. Off the main rectangle was a handle of sorts, with a thin piece of curved metal in front of it. She had no idea what it was, or what it was used for, but a strange word was swimming around in her mind. "Gun."
She entered Roses' chamber.
"Did you bring it?" Roses asked, turning away from her window.
"Yes, Majesty."
"And where did you find it again?"
"In the dungeon. It must have fallen off of the newcomer when they shackled him."
Roses took the gun from Ann. She looked at it from the front, from the side, upside down. She finally found a position that was comfortable: Holding it around the handle with one finger on the trigger and pointed it at the wall, holding it far away from her, in case it exploded. She pressed the trigger inwards. A beam of red leaped from the muzzle of the gun and hit the wall, creating a small, smoking hole. Roses almost dropped it in shock. She looked at the gun. Looked at the hole in the wall.
"Bring one of the slaves up here." She ordered.
A few minutes later, one of the slaves, one by the name of Drode, was brought up to the chamber.
"Hold him." She ordered Ann and the other guard (who had brought Drode up). She then leveled the gun and pulled the trigger again. And again, a red laser streaked from it and hit Drode square in the chest. He cried out and then crumpled to the floor. Ann kicked him. He was dead.
Roses sneered. "Interesting."
Pr Crew:
"Are you crazy? The people out there won't start a resistance--they are all as crazy as I am!!" Pr Crew yelled.
"We'll take a vote. All in favor of starting a resistance and saving the day, raise their hand." Everyone raised their hand except Pr.
"Fine be that way!!" Pr Crew ran away and before anyone could say anything, he was gone.
***
Pr Crew was back in the tunnels. He ran through the main one as fast as possible, carrying his lantern.
When he reached the end of the tunnel, he sat down and sang "Digging is fun, fun, fun for everyone and so is eating cinnamon buns."
He heard digging on the other side. He thought it was the Tri-Leaders or maybe everyone who he had stolen things from. He hid the wallet he had taken from Roseidous...
The wall broke open. Out stepped a figure who carried a shovel.
"Sweet Jebus!!" Pr Crew yelled and dropped his lantern.
For the figure in front of him was him.
John:
It wasn't hard to get past the guards at the girl's wall encircled city/fortress. Katherine had simply walked up, said Roseidous and OMEGA were two escaped prisoners, and brought them in. Roseidous kept his head down, so that they wouldn't see his face. The longer it took Roses to figure out he was in the fortress, the better. Besides, it was nighttime now, the only lights coming from the torches hanging from the walls. As soon as they were out of the guards' line of vision, they snuck into a darkened alley to plan.
"Okay, we have to find a way into the main keep. " Roseidous said, looking at the tall, black tower where that was Roses’ home in this dimension. "But we’re going to need a distraction of some sort..."
"And I know exactly what we need." Katherine said. She ran over to the nearest torch and took it off the wall. She threw it, right across the main courtyard. For a second, it illuminated a stack of clay pots, but then it fell on them and-
BOOOOOM !!!
A pillar of fire shot into the night sky, and the shockwave of the explosion smashed every window near it. The guards were immediately running towards the source of the explosion, including the guards from Roses’ tower. Roseidous, Katherine, and OMEGA took their chance and ran for the tower.
"What was in those pots?" Roseidous asked Katherine as they ran.
"Lamp oil. Very flammable." Katherine said with a grin.
"Wait...lamp oil?" OMEGA said. "But you guys use torches..."
"Well...it...uh...well, you got your distraction, didn’t you?" Katherine replied.
The three reached the tower.
"Okay, Katherine, I need you to stand guard. OMEGA, we’re going after Sally." Katherine nodded as Roseidous and OMEGA started up the dark, twisted, stone staircase. It was a long walk, but finally, they reached the large wooden door that led into Roses’ throne room.
"Okay, on three, we run in, save Sally, and take Roses hostage. Okay?" Roseidous said.
OMEGA stared blankly at him. "Did you just make that up now?"
"Okay, 1...2...3!" The two guys barged into the room...and were immediately knocked over by Ann. Roses sat before them, on her throne, Sally shackled to the wall behind her.
"Sally!" Roseidous cried.
Roses smirked. "I knew you’d come back for it...whatever it is."
"I swear, if you hurt one layer of vinyl on my Sally’s head, I’ll..."
Roseidous suddenly shut up as Roses pointed something very familiar at his head. It was his laser pistol.
"Oh no you don’t!" Roses laughed, triumphantly. "You know, I really have to congratulate you. You all did a very good job escaping. Which is, of course, the reason I’m going to make your life a living hell. No, I’m sorry. I’m going to make you wish you were in Hell once I’m done with you." Roses stood and began to walk around the room. "You see, your little escape has caused a great disturbance among the slaves. They’re getting cocky. They aren’t as afraid of us anymore. Roseidous, my dear boy, there’s a very delicate balance that we hold here. As long as you men think that you’re nothing and that we women are gods, everything is perfect."
"Perfect for you!" Roseidous spat.
"Shut up!" Ann said, kicking him savagely.
"Oh no, he’s quite right." Roses said. "As long as men are oppressed, my life is much easier. Sure, thousands of your inferior sex must toil and die, but, hey, I’m doing just fine! Why should I care?"
"This doesn’t end here." Roseidous growled. "Someday, someone’s going to fight back and overthrow you psychoes. We’ll see who’s laughing then!"
"Well, obviously not you, because in a few seconds, you’re going to be dead!" She leveled the gun. "Besides, no male will ever revolt. Ever."
CRAAAAAAAAACK !
"What was that ?!" Roses snapped. She, Ann, and even Roseidous and OMEGA ran to the window. The main door of the wall that encircled the city was down, and guys were starting to flood in. And at their head...
"VIVA LA RESISTANCE!" John yelled, carrying a red flag in one hand, and a sword in the other. The guards and the rebels clashed, in the first Battle of the Sexes in this dimension.
OMEGA grabbed Roseidous’ arm. "The dimensions are getting closer. We’ve got to get out of here NOW."
"Okay, we’ll use Sally’s pod, but first..." Roseidous ran over and, with use of his amazing manly muscles (which he suddenly grew, because the writer couldn’t think of any better idea) snapped the chains that held Sally.
"Okay, now we can go!" Roseidous said.
"Wrong!" Roseidous and OMEGA turned, to see Roses, laser pistol in hand.
"They might storm my fort and kill or enslave me, but if I go down, you’re coming with me !"
John, Ian, and Jim bolted towards the tower, trying not to get too involved in the battle around them. Suddenly, a girl jumped out from the entrance to the tower. John had his sword ready for a killing blow before he realized it was Katherine.
"Hey." She said.
"Hey. Where's Roseidous and OMEGA?" John asked.
Katherine jerked her thumb towards the tower. "Up there."
"Okay, while the rest of La Resistance is fighting the women... er, the other women..." He added, after a look from Katherine. "Anyway, the four of us should go up there and save them or capture Roses or whatever."
Katherine nodded, but then, something caught her eye. A hooded figure emerged from the shadows and walked towards. There was something familiar in the way this one walked. The hooded figure stopped, then reached up, and pulled back the hood to reveal... Katherine.
"Hello, Good Katherine." She said.
"Hello, Evil Katherine." Katherine replied.
Evil Katherine pulled out a staff, with a blade at each end. Katherine drew her sword... which magically appeared...yeah...
John, Ian, and Jim did the same.
"You guys go get Roses," Good Katherine said. "I'll handle this."
"You can't win against two blades. Silent Jim, stay here and help."
Everyone stared.
"Silent Jim?" Jim asked.
"Hey! Maybe this is that dimensional collision thing OMEGA was talking about!" Katherine said.
"Dimensional collision?" John said. He didn't know what it meant, but it definitely didn't sound good.
"Just go, okay?" Katherine said. And suddenly, all of the swords (or blades) turned into trout. Evil Katherine was holding a double trouted...trout. The three shrugged and the battle was on. It looked a heck of a lot like Duel of the Fates from Episode 1.
Meanwhile, John and Ian ran up the tower stairs and into the throne room. Four things happened at once.
Ann spun around from watching the window.
Roses looked up, taking her eyes off Roseidous.
Ian farted.
And Roseidous and OMEGA tackled Roses, knocking the laser gun from her hand.
"Ha! You won't be needing THIS anymore!" Roseidous said, raising his foot above the fallen gun.
"Roseidous, don't-" OMEGA shouted. But it was too late. He stepped down and broke the gun into pieces.
Roses stood. Rage twisted her face. "Ann... kill them."
Ann grinned. "Gladly."
***
Meanwhile, the battle between Good Katherine and Jim against Evil Katherine raged on. Evil Katherine swung one of the staff's trout ends at Jim. He ducked, brought his trout up, and parried. Good Katherine swung down at Evil Katherine's shoulder. Blocked! Evil Katherine swung at Good Katherine's mid-section. Blocked! The two knew each other's moves too well, they cancelled each other out. Jim knew it was up to him to stop this. He swung his trout triumphantly at Evil Katherine's head... and missed. But his trout did hit Evil Katherine's and Good Katherine's, sending them flying into a wall, to fall in a fishy pile. The two Katherine’s blinked, and then jumped on each other, punching and kicking.
Suddenly, Jim had an idea. He pulled out two stun guns and approached the fighting ten year olds. The two were locked in combat, each one holding the other's arms, trying to throw the other one down... and it was getting nowhere. But this was exactly what Jim needed. He touched them both with the stun guns and held down the firing button. There was a flash of blue and then-
There was only one Katherine.
Katherine looked around, confused. "What was that?"
"I used electricity to put the two of you together, like in Animorphs #32."
"Animorphs?"
And suddenly, there was a great rumbling sound. In the throne room, OMEGA's eyes widened in horror.
"Time's up." He said. "The dimensions are colliding."
"There has to be some way to stop this!" Roseidous cried.
"Like HOW?!" OMEGA demanded.
"Use your powers or something!"
"You want me to use my psychic powers to stop TWO ENTIRE UNIVERSES FROM COLLIDING?!"
Roseidous blinked. "Why, is that a problem?"
OMEGA groaned as the tower started to fall around their heads.
"My how the mighty have fallen!" John yelled at Roses over the roar of the dimensions colliding.
"You'll die with me slave!" Roses yelled back.
Roseidous looked over at OMEGA. "I thought you said that the two dimensions would collide and merge into one. Why would we get killed by that?"
"Well, by that we wouldn't, but by a big stone tower falling on our heads..."
"Yeah, I guess that would do the trick..." Roseidous rolled over and clutched Sally's hand.
"Sally... it's not easy for me to say this, but... but it looks like we're going to die together. And Sally, I just wanted to say... uh... oh, heck, I love you Sally!"
He immediately began to kiss her balloon face. All who were watching either grimaced or hurled.
The tower was falling more rapidly now, rocks from the ceiling thundering down on top of them.
"Well one thing's for sure," John yelled. "This sucks!"
"Agreed!" Roses bellowed.
And suddenly it stopped.
Roseidous looked up. "Er... what happened?"
"They agreed on something!" OMEGA said. "A guy and a girl actually agreed on something! We're in a universe completely different from our old one now, they aren't colliding!"
"Did you hear that Sally? We're going to LIVE!"
Sally said... nothing. Because she was a blow-up doll.
Roseidous, OMEGA, Katherine, Roses, Ann, John, Ian, and Jim hurried down the stairs of the tower, and came out to find that the battle had stopped. Man and woman stood together, talking civilly an tending to each other's wounds and, of course, checking each other out behind their backs.
"Peace! We made peace!" OMEGA exclaimed. "We're able to leave now!"
Roseidous looked around. "Are you sure we should, because it feels to me like there's gonna be a big old sex-capade in a few min- HEY!"
OMEGA grabbed him by the collar and dragged him away.
Roseidous waved to Roses, Ann, John, Ian, Jim, Katherine, and the others.
"Bye everyone! We'll drop you a line from our universe! Bye!"
OMEGA proceeded to drag him out the broken gates.
"Where did he come from, anyway?" Roses wondered.
Katherine allowed herself a secretive smile. Then she looked around and said. "Hey, where's Pr Crew?"
The others looked around, shrugged, and he was immediately forgotten as the festivities began.
***
Roseidous was almost finished repairing Sally's pod.
"Okay, just a few snips here, a few snips there and viola!"
He put Sally in the backseat and climbed into the front.
"Er, Roser?" OMEGA asked. "Where am I supposed to sit?"
"Um... the trunk?"
"I've got a better idea. How about we deflate Sally for now and give me her seat."
"Never!"
"Roser, don't make me kill you."
Roseidous sighed, and pulled Sally's plug. Grumbling, he stuffed her in the glove compartment.
"Okay, now, are we ready?" Roseidous asked.
"Just let me get buckled i-"
"Great!" Roseidous exclaimed, and hit the thrusters. The pod leapt into the air, causing OMEGA to bounce around the cockpit like a Mexican jumping bean.
"Regular old universe, here we come!" Roseidous said and hit the acceleration.
Meanwhile, in the back, OMEGA buckled himself in, and resisted the urge to strange Roser. Instead, he said,
"That was pretty good work we did back there, saving an entire dimension and all."
"Yeah, but that place was WEIRD! I mean, chicks being smarter, more powerful and having more common sense than guys? Who ever heard of that?"
The two sat in silence for a moment.
"Cwap." Roseidous said, in realization.
The pod rocketed forwards and into the interdimensional portal and with a flash-
FLASH!
It was gone.