Chapter 1 - Roseidous:

The final bell rang to dismiss classes for the day. Roseidous was participating in his normal after school activity: Detention. Today he, Holli, and Tyrael were in detention for the commotion they caused in the hallway. Unfortunately, the other people involved, TAS-man, and Cait Sith, were nowhere to be found.

"Hey Rosey!" Holli called, as she hurried into the otherwise empty classroom.

"Are you talking to me?" Roseidous says in his studly, debonair way. He spots Holli running towards him, arms spread wide for an incoming hug. "Erm...fire in the hole!" Roseidous ducks, covering his ears, as he tosses a pen to the ground.

Tyrael arrives just in time with the lawn chairs and popcorn.

"Ah, good, you made it!" Roseidous stands up, relieved.

They set up the lawn chairs, ease themselves into them with a hardy sigh, and pass the popcorn back and forth between themselves, as Holli tried to pick up the pre-greased pen.

Tyrael and Roseidous grin at each other, a high-five signaling their satisfaction.

"Dern pen, why can't I pick it up??" Holli says, exasperated, leading to yet another fumble of the pen. She looks up to catch a glimpse of the wide-eyed Tyrael. Yet for some reason, his eyes didn't meet up with hers.

"Tyrael, so nice to see you. I am in a bit of a predicament here...this pen; I can't seem to pick it up. Can you help me?" Holli bats her eyes, using her womanly charm as best she can.

Tyrael doesn't notice, but what he does see is convincing enough. He nods, eyes still wide, and rises to help. Roseidous, on the other hand, remains in the lawn chair with nothing to do....as the vixen Holli had used her 'magic powers' to place a blindfold over his un-impure eyes.

"How'd it get dark so quickly?" Roseidous scratches his head, confused. "Hey, wha...what's this thing on my head? Oh, that's just my nose. Hmmm, it's kinda itchy...on the inside. Well, since it's so dark, no one will see..."

Holli, Tyrael, and an anonymous crowd see it all.

"Eeeeww!!" they all say in unison.

"Huh, what?" Roseidous moves his head left to right, looking for the source though the blindfold hinders that possibility. "Who said that? Come on! I was only scratching!"

"Sure you were..." Holli says, still trying to pick up the pen.

"Why is it so dang dark?! Did the power go out? Tyrael, can you see anything?"

"Er...what?" Tyrael was more than distracted at the moment, 'helping' Holli pick up the pen.

"Gosh dern it! What's going on?!" Roseidous bolts up...then falls back down into the lawn chair. "Man these things are death-traps!"

His second attempt proves successful, and so Roseidous begins walking around, completely blind, trying to find the reason why it was so 'dark.'

BAMM!!

"OW! What the hell was that?!" Roseidous stands next to a light pole, rubbing his head.

Holli tried to contain her laughter, but Roseidous catches a whiff of it none the less.

"What're you laughing at, Pen Girl? You didn't see anything!" Roseidous scoffs, trying to maintain whatever dignity still remained.

Suddenly, Roseidous' belt comes undone, and his pants drop to his ankles. Holli, paralyzed from the sight while crouching for the pen, can't bring herself to say anything.

Tyrael, who had been 'distracted' the entire time, actually notices Holli's face long enough to see the stunned and horrified expression plastered on her face.

"What?" Tyrael asks, looking in the direction Holli was frozen in. "AAHH!! Oh, GOD! What the hell?! That's more than what I ever wanted to see!" Tyrael collapses, convulsing.

"What's wrong, Tyrael?" Roseidous asks. "Oh, yeah, I sorta forgot to wear underwear today. Luckily, it's dark, so I'm sure you didn't see anything."

Holli manages to say, "I wish that was so...I really wish that was so..."



Chapter 2 - Holli:

"Rosey...I didn't realize you were so...uh...petite. I am so sorry!"

What are you talking about Holli? I am over six feet tall." Rosey was very confused.

"Uh, well, I meant as compared to a football player...yeah, that's it."

"I don't know what you are talking about...you freshmen, it's dark--so how can you see anything?!"

"Rosey...close your eyes."

Holli snapped her fingers and the blindfold disappeared. Tyrael remained paralyzed as Holli instructed Rosey to open his eyes. Suddenly aware of his surroundings, Rosey quickly moved to cover himself, leaving the room stunned.

"Well, I am glad that's ov--" Tyrael began, before noticing Holli's "spring" outfit and fixating his gaze on her...um, well, her.

Meanwhile, a cherry red Rosey was planning his revenge...



Chapter 3 - Tyrael

Managing to regain self control long enough for the electronic impulses in his brain to cross a synapse or two, Tyrael began to stutter out his newest catch phrase.

"Hey baby, my tangent's just right for your cosine if you know what I'm saying..." Tyrael managed to leer. He didn't actually know what leer meant, but KA used the word so much in Everworld, it had to be good.

Roseidous peeked out the door he had disappeared into. "Hey, are those types of birds? Tangent? Cosine? Or are they lizards?"

Tyrael and Holli pretended they didn't hear him.

"Tyrael hun, help me get this pen." Holli said in a saidly way.

Tyrael nodded like an obedient puppy. A very cute one, at that. He knew she was just trying to think of a worthy response to his awesome pickup line.

Far away, well, across the room, a bunny died. In the rain.



Chapter 4 - Holli

"Nooo!" Rosey screamed as the bunny took its last breath. He covered his face with his hands as a tear slid down his cheek.

On the other side of the room, Tyrael had just used a pickup line on Holli. She racked her brain trying to figure out a comeback to that piece of geniousness.

^What am I talking about? Geniousness?...nah...^

Anyway, Holli sat down as Tyrael bent to pick up the pen. She leaned back just enough to get the perfect view of his behind. It was a very sexy behind at that, too.

Meanwhile, Rosey pouted in the corner...but then noticed Tyrael's dern cute behind...and he too was mesmerized, temporarily forgetting his plans of revenge and the deceased rabbit.



Chapter 5 - Crayak

Crayak came down from the sky, figuring Rosey and Tyrael wanted more snacks. But when he got there, he noticed Tyrael trying to pick up a greased pen and Rosey and Holli staring at his butt.

"HELLOOOOOOOO," he called to Rosey and Holli. "Anybody there?"

Rosey and Holli just kept staring.

Just then, he noticed this cute little dead bunny.

But who cares.

Then he used his powers to pick up the pen and take it with him.

Tyrael saw Crayak with the pen. When he looked, his butt moved, which took Rosey and Holli out of their trances.

"HA!" Crayak said. "See if you can get this pen from me! LOSERS!"



Chapter 6 - Tyrael

Tyrael knew his behind was being watched. It was only a matter of time before someone forgot to breathe and died.

One word coursed through his mind. Actually, it was more like 3 or 4 words. But...the way it...aww hell. You get the idea. And if you don't then Yo Mama.

"springsummershirts"

Suddenly, the bunny's corpse flew at Roseidous, distracting him. He grabbed a pen for reasons unknown, and threw it at Holli...



Chapter 7 - Holli

The pen flew towards Holli's face and so she ducked...only to let it be caught by Crayak. Crayak smiled menacingly as he caused the pen to dance in the air.

Meanwhile Rosey was back to contemplating his own situation. The rabbit corpse sat at his side as he told it of his plans. The bunny nodded agreement while Rosey spoke of evilness...after all, his motto is "Live eviL."

"HA!" Crayak said. "Just try and get it!"

Holli and Tyrael sighed as Crayak stood being an idiot. He actually thought he could outwit the three. Suddenly, out of nowhere, a large anvil fell from the sky. A guilty smile spread across Tyrael's face as he shoved his "Acme remote control anvil controller" back into his already bulging pocket.

Unfortunately, being the sour 4th dimensional being he is, Crayak disappeared as the anvil thudded against the ground, causing an earthquake to shake the room, causing the pen to fall, causing both Holli and Tyrael to bend down to get the pen, causing...



Chapter 8 - Roses

Causing Roses to appear. The anvil was the last straw and she was tired of waiting for TAS-man and Cait Sith to rescue her. She was also tired of waiting on Tyrael and Roseidous to realize that while they had survived being deleted, she had not. Roses disentangled herself from Roseidous' hair.

She leaped to the floor and began yelling.

"Do you KNOW what I've been doing? I have to rewrite this entire research paper AND study for my finals AND figure out why vectors are written with thought-speech symbols, AND... oops, wrong subject."

Upon realizing that no one was paying attention, Roses turned around and slapped Roseidous, who was talking to the dead bunny about evil plans.

"How dare you talk to that dead bunny while I need your help! I am your partner! Why are you talking to a dead bunny, anyway? And, more importantly, why, why, WHY did you not notice that I was tangled in your hair when we were deleted?!?

Roseidous stared for a few seconds, and then resumed his conversation with the dead bunny. Roses sighed and turned to Tyrael.

"And Tyrael! You didn't save me, either! You will be punished. I might decide to make it winter forever. No more "springsummershirts" for you. That's what you get for ruining our plans to take over the world."

"I...um...well..."

Roses ignored his attempts at explanation and looked up. "Crayak! You're the fourth dimensional being here! Why didn't YOU rescue me? You could have done it at any time, you know!"

Suddenly, Roses noticed Holli. "Oh, and welcome back, Holli. How was your Spring Break? You missed all the fun, didn't you?"

"I sure did." Holli nodded.

Roses smiled at her. "No matter. We're evil enough with the boys. Want to work together and rule over the entire male species? That would be fun...and evil. Where's Tails? And Lone and Fitey?"

"Tails is out sick, Lone says to leave her alone, and Fitey went to see a psychologist. Something about a girl named Ilinana."

"Oh."



Chapter 9 - Roseidous

"Alright, bunny, here's the plan.." Roseidous whispers to the dead fuzzy bunny.

Roseidous feels something moving in his hair, but at this point, Roseidous is too engrossed with his evil discussion. He hears someone complaining with a voice very similar to Roses...

Roses...? Roseidous thinks. It takes a few moments for it to sink in. I thought it would take longer for the restoration process to take place, but I guess it was sped up by that bean I ate last night.

Roseidous picks up the limp bunny and turns towards Roses. "It's you! Roses!"

SLAP!

"Ow! Wha...what was that for?!" Roseidous rubs the deceased bunny against his red, stinging cheek.

"What do you think, Rosey?!" Roses stands with her hands on hips, frowning.

"Er..." Roseidous pauses, sensing a trap.

"Do you know how long I've been stuck in your hair? Do you realize how long I had to endure you and your weird shampoo?! Huh?! DO YOU?!" Roses clenches her fists.

"But...Roses, it was necessary! I did it to save your life!"

"How stupid do I look, Rosey?"

"Stop calling me that!"

"Okay, Rosey."

Roseidous grabs the end of his long hair, pulls, and his entire scalp comes off! "Oh, gross!" Roses shields her eyes.

"Don't' worry, it's only a wig. A specially designed wig, it is what I used to restore your life. Roses, you were dead. Only this fabulous hair kept your brain alive and repaired your nearly-vaporized body."

"How the heck could hair have saved my life?"

"Roseidous points to the inside of the wig, where a matrix of circuitry and futuristic nodes lay in a mess of polyroseyate. "It was created by Chris, from my own hair, and powered by my studliness. It was the only way. I had to shave my head to do it. Thank you, my dear, for the thank-you slap you so graciously gave me."

"Well...umm, you're welcome. And here I was, plotting to take over the male race with Holli and Tyrael's so-called 'sexy' butt."

Roseidous snaps his fingers. "That reminds me..." Roseidous marches over to Tyrael, and yanks down his pants.

"What are you doing?!" Tyrael screams.

"Just what I thought," Roseidous says, looking down at the spinning disk glued to Tyrael's Spiderman underwear, "a hypnodisk. You are very disturbed, Tyrael. Pulling a trick like this to convince people you have a sexy butt...Despicable."

"Oh, what're you blabbin' about, Rosey?" Tyrael starts.

"Don't call me that! My name is Roseidous! R-O-S-E-I-D-O-U-S!"

"Whatever. Do you really think anyone believes you're studly?"

"Of course! What reason do they have to doubt me?"

Holli cracks up in the background. Roseidous glances at Holli scornfully. "Ah, shuddup, Pen Girl."

Holli returns the glare. "Don't make me use my magical powers on you...again!"

"Ooooh, you're magical blindfolding powers! I'm scared now!"

"People! People!" Roses interjects. "Stop this bickering! We're all friends here!"

Everyone stares at Roses. "Uhhh," Holli says, "where have you been?"

"In Roseidous' hair."

"Oh, yeah, right. Sorry."

Tyrael, still dumbed-up from Holli's aphrodisiacal pheromones, says, after pulling his pants back up, "Rosey..."

"DON'T CALL ME THAT!!!" Roseidous throws the wig at Tyrael.

"...we need to settle our dispute once and for all."

Roseidous scratches his shaved head. "What dispute?"

"I don't know, I forgot. All I know is that we've got to settle it."

"Ah, okay, fine. A duel, then?"

"Yes, a duel."

Roses sighs. She looks over at Holli, and says under her breath, "You wanna leave these two morons to duke it out while we take over all of 'man-kind'?"

Holli grins evilly. "Sure!"

With that, the two ladies depart, while Roseidous and Tyrael circle each other like two competing alpha wolves.

"So, Baldy, ready to be humiliated?" Tyrael taunts.

"Hey, I just have a high widow's peak!"

"Yeah, sure, whatever. I'm gonna kick yer scrawny bald butt from here to Albuquerque. That's about....half a mile from here."

"You won't be cocky for long, little Spidey." Roseidous, in a blur, whacks Tyrael in the head with the dead bunny, knocking Tyrael on his butt. "Dead weight."

Roseidous leaps toward Tyrael, swinging the lifeless bunny by the ears. Tyrael rolls to the left just as Roseidous lays some bunny-smack on the ground Tyrael had previously been laying on. Tyrael somersaults back up to his feet, and ducks behind Crayak just as Roseidous takes another swing. Crayak goes flying, landing far off, unconscious.

"Hiding behind fourth dimensional being now, are we, Spidey-boy?" Roseidous badgers.

"Aw, shuddup! You've got the bunny."

Roseidous grins. "That I do. Now run little man!" Roseidous cackles maniacally as he chases Tyrael around the room with the bunny held high.

Flight of the Bumblebee music begins to play.

***

Half an hour later...

"I know what you mean," Holli said as she and Roses walked back into the room. "I can't believe they didn't have that shirt in lime green. Now how are we suppsed to have matching evil uniforms?"

"Well," Roses replied. "Roseidous and I were thinking about matching uniforms. Until he forgot to rescue me and left me in his electronic-something-or-other hair. Can you believe that no one remembered to rescue me?" she ranted as she watched Tyrael dodge yet another hit from the bunny as Roseidous swung it around.



Chapter 10 - Jaina

A girl sitting in the corner of the detention room glanced up from her book to see Roses ranting.

Solemnly, she said, "I would have saved you, Roses, but this book is too darn good."

Suddenly the pen leapt up in the faces of Tyrael and Holli. "I'm aliiiiiiive!" he screamed.

"You were never dead, or alive for that matter, to begin with!" Holli shouted back, angry because she didn't have a good view of Tyrael anymore.

"You know, that makes no sense at all?" Rosey asked, while talking to the bunny.

The pen stared at the corpse of the bunny. "Bunny?" he asked, disbelieving.

The bunny glanced up, then did a double take. "Pen?" she asked, amazed.

"Cool!" they both shouted, then proceeded to hug.

"Eww, you just got grease all over me!" lamented the bunny.

"It's not my fault!" defended the pen. "Rosey and Tyrael put grease on me to tease Holli."

Holli gasped. "How could you, Rosey? I mean, Tyrael's hot, he has an excuse. But really! Trying to make me look bad! Roses, back me up here!"

Jaina smiled slightly. "Take it easy, Holli, it's humor, remember? At least, I laughed."

"Humor is all well and good, but I'm still greasy!" shouted the pen. And with that, he jumped in Rosey's hair, which had previously been occupied by Roses, and proceeded to dry himself off.



Chapter 11 - Tyrael

In an instant, the pen disappeared in a blast of pretty light. The bunny followed.

"Oh my God..." Roses gasped, finally figuring it out. "Rosey's hair is a portal to another dimension!"

"Maybe even..." Tyrael said, posing dramatically. "A parallel universe!"

***

Far away, the pen and bunny corpse emerged in a strange, backwards land. People in top hats offered them napkins.

They refused

They found themselves...suddenly...hating each other...

***

Everybody backed away from Rosey, as his hair began to consume all existence.

"Ahhh! My mullet!" He screamed. "It's ruined!"

"Actually, I kinda like it..." Jaina commented, cocking her head to the side. "It's like a psycho afro. Hey, that rhymes!"

Meanwhile, Tyrael and Holli were doing the Mamba. As Rosey's hair consumed them, they found themselves doing the Ambam...

Tyrael and Holli emerged into a place that shouldn't exist.

But does.

Holli looked around. "Uh-oh..this is..."

Tyrael's eyes grew wide. "Elise Smith EverWorld!"

Thor, Baldur, Odin, Loki, David, Christopher, Jalil, and April sat around a fire, sipping some tea.

"I'm thinking we should attack Ka Anor's city. But I'm really just saying this to preserve my self-respect." David said.

"I don't know, that would be kinda mean..." April retorted.

"M-maybe we could just, you know, talk to him about it. Work out a peaceful solution!" Thor suggested.

"I love Etain." Christopher sighed.

"Agh! I can't figure out the software! April, can we have a chaste romance scene now?" Jalil asked.

"Sure. As long as Magda doesn't find out. Remember Magda? She was in book 3. I used her as a cameo character. See? Because I know the background stuff. I read the previous books. See? See?"

"Etain sees." Christopher said uncomically.

Baldur turned to Thor. "Can we hug again?"

"Not without Etain."

"Yeah, group hug!" Loki cried.

Tyrael and Holli stepped back through the Rosey's-hair-portal, sickened.



Chapter 12 - Holli

Soon they found themselves back into their old universe, the portal still consuming the room piece by piece.

"I believe" Crayak said in his most smart sounding voice, "That the only way to close this portal is for all of us to jump into it and be transported to another world..." Crayak paused, racking his brain for TV plots, "Then, we will have different periods of time, measured by this remote constructed of Rosey-boy's hair--"

"Don't call me ROSEY-BOY!" Rosey-boy interrupted.

"Yeah, anyway, " Crayak continued, "to teleport into different universes until we can get back to this one and along the way, some of us will unfortunately disappear, become bodiless heads, become sex-slaves to an alien race, be possessed by demons, and be replaced by new characters...not at all unlike the plot to sliders!"

"My God, Crayak...you are a genius!" Holli rolled her eyes.

"I know." Crayak smiled. "We have to the count of three till we must jump into the portal by using captivating twists, flips, and whirls."

"Oooh! Can I count?" Rosey-boy asked. He was answered by various stares.

"I'll count." Roses announced, "since I am the oldest..

1...

2...

3...!"

And so, Roses, Roseidous, Tyrael, Crayak, Holli, Jaina, the pen, and the bunny corpse jumped into the swirling vortex as it closed on them.

^Thud^

They all landed on top of each other, finding themselves in a strange new land. Very strange...especially with Rosey-boy around.

"Rosey, I hope that is your hand digging into my thigh..." Tyrael stared long and hard at his 'friend.' Rosey blushed as he walked to sit by the bunny corpse.

"Where are we?" Jaina asked "and where is my book?" She searched the ground for the novel only to find it half eaten by the bunny corpse.

"Um...I think we are in a parallel universe?" Crayak announced.

"Duh, but which one?" Holli asked, batting her eyelashes

"I don't know..." And with those words, the newest part of their adventure began...



Chapter 13 - Jaina

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Jaina cried, Obi-Wan-Kenobi-style, and with that, she leapt at the bunny. "You are DEAD!"

"Well, duh," added Holli, who found being in an unknown universe with Tyrael and Crayak incredibly romantic.

Glaring at Holli, Jaina shook her fist in a very Visser-Threelike movement--that is, if VIsser Three wasn't in morph whenever he shouted at the Animorphs. "I'll get you later, dork!"

Tyrael turned to ask Crayak another question, but noticed him staring at Holli with a faraway look in his eyes. "Hey!" Tyrael shouted, and smacked Crayak. "Lay off of my woman!"

Crayak turned to stare at Tyrael. "Are you going out?"

"Well...uh..." Tyrael suddenly found the grass, which was red, because ya know, we're in a new universe, very interesting.

Rosey-boy looked up and noticed then fighting. "Hey! Stop ignoring me and my hair! Are you calling me fat?" He demanded.

Everyone turned to regard Rosey-boy and determine if he was fat.

Meanwhile, the bunny was chewing on the pen while the pen was stabbing the bunny.

Crayak suddenly stopped contemplating on Rosey-boy and shouted, "I've got it! This must be the universe of...Printers!"

"That's crazy." Roses snorted. "We're OBVIOUSLY in the universe of coconuts, monkeypants, and ducks."

"Ohhhhh!" everyone exclaimed, and it was so.



Chapter 14 - Roses

"Hey!" Roses said, looking around. "I know this place. I've been here before. But...it can't be. This is too terrible to think about..."

"Well? What is it? Where are we?" Holli demanded.

"We are in....Clyattville. But it's not the same. It's like an alternate reality..."

"NOOOOO!!!" Roseidous yelled. "Wait. Why is that bad?"

"Don't you know?" Roses asked them all.

Everyone, including the bunny and the pen stared with blank looks on their faces.

"Do I have to explain everything to you?"

"Well, you are the oldest." Crayak pointed out.

"Okay, fine. This is Clyattville. It's a small "town" in South Georgia. There are no malls, no schools, no gas stations. No nothing. And I can only think of one way out."

"No malls?" Holli asked sadly.

"Nope. No malls."

"Okay, so how do we get out of here?" Jaina asked.

"Can everyone see that flashing light? Over to the left?"

"No." Roseidous said, turning to the right.

Holli spun him around. "Your other left."

"Oh, that flashing light above the trees?"

"That's the one. That's the radio tower. If we can get to it, we can contact someone from the message board to come rescue us." Roses explained. "But it will be a dangerous mission. We have to cross fields full of cows, get through the woods, and break into the tower itself."

"Let's go then. I'm ready." Holli announced.

"Wait! Cows?" Tyrael asked timidly

"Yes, cows. Did you not hear? Is that a problem for you?" Jaina asked in return.

"Um...cows and I don't exactly get along. I'm not sure I can cross that field."

"You have to. Do it for meeeeeee?" Holli said, batting her eyelashes.

"Oh, okay."

So Roseidous grabbed the dead bunny, Jaina picked up the pen and her book, and they all started off across the fields toward the tower, with Roses in the lead and Crayak hovering just overhead.



Chapter 15 - Crayak

And the adventurers walked on through the field of cows.

"Hey guys, " Holli asked, "Look at this picture I drew of us."

She opened up this little laptop (who knows where she got it) and showed the drawing to us off the MZ Board.

"Cool," Tyrael said.

"Neat," Roses said.

"I look like a nun," said Crayak.

"Yeah, I think it's pretty good, " Holli said, ignoring Crayak's rude, but true, statement.

They walked on and suddenly Roseidous screamed.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAHH!" he yelled.

Tyrael covered his ears and said sarcastically, "Whoa, yell a little louder please. I can still hear out of one ear. Now what the heck is wrong with you?!"

"I lost the bunny!" Rosey said

"Leave him there," Crayak said, "He'll be happy among the cows."

"THAT'S NOT TRUE!!" Rosey screamed.

Crayak thought fast. "Um...Yeah it is, hold on."

He turned around and used the pen to scribble out on some paper the words "Bunnies like cows."

He tuned around and gave the paper to Rosey. "See?" Crayak said, "Straight from the World Book Encyclopedia."

"Oh," Rosey said. "Ok, I guess."

***

The gears were turning in Rosey's small head trying to think of a way to convince the group to go back and get the bunny, even though Crayak had "proved" that bunnies like cows.

"But guys," he said, "Bunny was different from other bunnies. He probably doesn't like cows like the others."

"Yeah, how was he different?" Jaina said.

"Well, " Rosey replied. "He never moved like other bunnies."

"He was dead." Tyrael replied.

"WHAT! HE WAS DEAD?" Roseidous cried, "Why didn't you tell me? I must have looked like a total fool."

"You still do, " Crayak muttered.

"I HEARD THAT!!!" Roseidous yelled.

And the group moved on.

"Hey, wait a minute, " Tyrael said, "Weren't we supposed to call someone from the MSG board for some reason or another?"

"Oh, yeah," Holli said.

A wide grin spread over Roses' face. "I've got an idea," she said.

Uh-oh. Roses has an idea. This can't be good.



Chapter 16 - Roses

"Okay. This is my idea. First, we have to finish crossing this stupid field. Then we have to go through the stupid woods. And then, someone has to climb the stupid radio tower, and using Holli's laptop, call the message board.

"Right." said Holli. "But who are we calling?"

"I was thinking we should call TAS-man and Cait Sith," Roses answered. "After that terrible mission when they failed to rescue me from Roseidous' hair, they deserve a chance to redeem themselves."

"Oh, good idea. I think." said Jaina. "Are you sure they won't get lost in Canada again?"

"No, but they're the only hope we have of getting out of Clyattville." Roses answered truthfully.

"Hey, um...where are Roseidous, Crayak, and Tyrael?" Holli asked, looking around.

"Oh, wh o cares where they went?" Roses said. "Who needs them? They were just guys. We'll get much more accomplished without them."

"But we can't just leave them here. It would be evil and fun, but who would we have to make fun of if we left them?" Holli stated.

"Oh, fine. I guess that's true. We'll go look for them." Roses agreed reluctantly

"Hey! I know where they went!" said a cheerful voice.

"Who was that?" asked Holli.

"Oh! It was the Pen." Jaina said, holding it up.

"They went to bury the Bunny." the Pen announced.

"Great. We're never going to get out of this stupid field! Roseidous, Tyrael, and Crayak! Get over here NOW!" Roses yelled.

"What was that you just screamed, my evil partner?" Roseidous asked, coming up behind Roses.

Roses turned around and slapped him.

"Forget the Bunny! Let's go!" she said, noticing that Crayak was once again hovering overhead.

"Wait! Did you leave Tyrael?" Holli asked.

"No...he was right behind us." Crayak said. Roseidous nodded in agreement.

Suddenly, from across the field, came Tyrael's voice.

"HHEEEEEEELLLPPP!!!"

Everyone turned to see him being chased by a rather large cow.

"Well, he did say he didn't get along with cows." Crayak pointed out.

"SAVE HIM! SAVE HIM!" Holli shrieked.

"Oh, don't worry, the cow is making him run back towards us anyway." Roses said calmly.

And indeed, the angry cow was running straight for the group of travelers and getting closer every second. They all screamed and ran into the woods, except Roses, who stood perfectly still. She watched, amused, as Tyrael flew by her and Roseidous pulled him into the tree where the others were sitting. Then she turned around to face the cow, who had stopped running.

"Thanks." Roses said

"Sure, " the cow replied. "Anything else you need?"

"Nope. Just had to get them into the woods. We never would have made it on our own."

"Oh. Well, I was glad to help. I haven't had that much fun in a long time."

Roses laughed. "Okay then. I guess I'll see you later. I have to go get them out of the tree."

"Good luck!" the cow called as Roses stepped into the woods.

Roses didn't even look up. "You can all come down now, it's safe."

Jaina, Holli, Roseidous, and the Pen jumped to the ground and Crayak floated down.

"How did you calm that cow down?" Roseidous demanded.

"It all comes from growing up on a dairy farm." Roses answered.

"Oh."

"Yep."

"Hey, Tyrael! Time to get down!" Jaina called.

"Nope. Not gonna."

"But the cow's gone now." Crayak said.

"No."

"Tyrael? Do it for meeeeee?'" Holli said, once again batting her eyelashes.

"Nope. Not even for you."

"Hey, Tyrael? I have gingerbread men. You have to come down to get one." Roses said.

"Oh, okay."

Tyrael jumped down from the tree. "Where are they?"

"I lied." Roses said.

"Oh."

"Yep."

So, the travelers turned around and started walking down the path in the woods.



Chapter 17 - Holli

Within the woods, the travelers experienced many perils. They fought dragons and wildebeests, and even a blue centaur looking thing with a scorpion tail that seemed to be under the control of a small gray slug that wrapped around his head. They fought bravely, using a new power they had acquired from War Prince Elfangor...The power to morph. But, there was a limit in this power, you can only stay in morph for 2 hours--or you'll become a nothlit.

Pen found this out the hard way, morphing into a pencil.

But they battled bravely, and the casualties were low--in fact, not even Rosey died. Damn shame though...

Finally, the group reached the end of the woods, only to find that they were blocked by a large fence. Suddenly, Crayak had an idea. "Hey, you know, I just remembered, I could get us over this fence in a jiff!"

"What?? You could have done that a long time ago, and you didn't??!!" Roses exclaimed.

"Yes." the fourth dimensional being said, moving to hide behind Rosey.

"Well--we had an adventure along the way, at least me and Ty did." Holli winked at Ty, who smiled proudly.

"Well do it already, flying nun boy!" Jaina exclaimed.

"Okay, okay, come on, get in a circle, and hold hands."

"Does anyone else feel like a hippie?" Ty said as they did as Crayak instructed.

"Now, close your eyes."

"Wait a minute, I am standing next to Rosey,--I am NOT closing my eyes." Roses stated.

"Whatever could you mean, Roses?" Rosey smiled innocently as his hand began to wander to her shoulder.

"That's it. Ty, switch!"

"But---then he'll do it to me?"

"I don't care, move!"

'Yes, your majesty" Ty mocked as he moved to stand between Holli and Rosey.

"Okay, you guys done?" Crayak sighed.

"Yes." The group shouted.

"Then let's get into that tower!"

BOOM!! A light consumed the group. It traveled up over the trees and in through a small window on the first floor.

The girls' bathroom...

"Oh man, this is the mecca!" Rosey exclaimed as he opened his eyes.

Holli and Roses slapped him. Jaina punched him in the arm. "Ow!"

"Perv!" the three girls yelled.

"Um, I am betting we should get out of here as fast as possible," Ty's eyes were wide as he backed toward the door.

"Wait a minute--I wanna inspect the grounds."

"Rosey! NO!!" The girls dragged him out, Crayak laughing.

"Okay, so where are we, Roses?" Jaina asked.

"Um, the first floor---but we have to climb the tower to get the best signal."

"So that means, we should find some rope, and find a villain so we can pretend to be the cast of Scooby Doo. Hey Holli, I'll be Fred if you'll be Daphne! Rosey can be Scooby." Ty smiles evilly.

"Hey, I don't wanna be a dog, can't I be Velma?"

"Velma?" Roses rolled her eyes.

"Uh...I mean...uh...shut up!" Rosey blushed as his Scooby fantasy had just been revealed.

"Anyway, let's get to climbing..." Roses pointed in the direction of a staircase labeled 'to top of tower'.

"Hey, when did that get here?" Jaina noticed.

"It's a fiction story--just play along." Crayak whispered.

"Oh, okay." Jaina smiled.

And so, the group went to climbing the stairs. Which gradually grew steeper. Until they were really, really, steep. "Hey these stairs are really really steep." Rosey called out.

No body answered. "HEY! These stairs are REALLY steep."

Still, no one answered. "Can you guys hear me? HELLO?"

"Rosey, shut up!" various voices yelled.

"Fine. I wish Bunny was here." Tears began to fill Rosey's eyes.

But suddenly, out of nowhere, a blue figure appeared before him...and it whispered to him. "Use the force, Roseidous, the force."

"What? The quarts? But I don't want a quart."

"The Force!"

"The farts? That's just disgusting."

"You Idiot!" the blueish figure, shaped like a bunny, pulled out a notebook and wrote "FORCE" in big letters and shoved it in Rosey's face.

"Oh, the force" Rosey thought for a minute "What the heck is that supposed to mean?"

"Just climb the darn tower." And the blue figure faded away.

"Okay. I love you bunny."

"Love? My butt." The bunny laughed as he completely disappeared.

"Hey, you know, it's not right that you just can't understand my feelings for you!"

"Rosey, who are you talking to? Ty asked.

"Bunny."

"Bunny's dead, you numbskull."

"I know---it was his ghost."

Ty sighed and continued climbing.

Finally, they reached the top. "Hey, we made it!" Jaina cried.

"Yep...now what?" Ty wondered, looking to Crayak and Roses.

"Um...we...uh..." Crayak stuttered.

"Let me talk, flying nun boy." Roses pushed Crayak behind her. "We use Holli's laptop and send a message to TAS so he can rescue us and then all will be good."

"Oh." the group replied.

Holli pulled the laptop from her purse, which just recently appeared, and turned it on. Meanwhile, Roses tied strands of Rosey's hair into braids which Ty and Crayak connected to the wires of the tower as Jaina and Pen/cil held them in place. It was a group effort.

Soon the laptop was up and running. The group went to the MZ MSG board and posted a message entitled: "TAS! HELP US! We are in Clyattville. Rescue quickly! NT"

"So now what do we do?" Holli asked.

"We wait." Roses sighed.

And so, they did wait...and wait...and wait....



Chapter 18-TAS-man

~at TAS-man's house~

"But whilst he was sleeping, TAS-man had a vision. A blueish bunny came to him in a dream.

"TAS-man," Bunny said "I am talking to you from the future. Get on the internet, now, TAS-man. You. Must. Save. Us." He said straining to make himself heard as the portal from the future wavered.

"Ya know, if ya gotta go that bad, there's a bathroom down the hall and to the left."

"Shut up boy, you will never become a Jedi hare speaking out of your..." Bunny stopped and smiled sweetly, "Neck."

"You almost said a bad word didntcha?"

"I did not! Jedi knights NEVER cus---"

"Did too."

"Did not."

"Uh huh."

"Unh Unh."

"Uh huh."

"Unh Unh."

"Uh huh."

"Unh...SHUT UP YOU F(this content has been edited out by the author as this WAS ratedPG.)

"Ha! Uh HUH!"

"Just go get on the internet and look at the Morphz board PLEASE?! Make my job a little easier."

After waking Cait-Dog, (and waiting two hours for AOL to connect to the internet) they surfed on over to Morphz Message board, where they found a devastating message. "GASP! Cait-Dog! They need our help!"

"~snore~"

"You say use the super-new-transmecular-heroconomicle-rearranger-apperator-device?!"

"~snore~"

"Where do we find this super-new-transmecular-heroconomicle-rearranger-apperator-device?"

"~snore~"

"Ah, of course: Lowes."

Later that day, at Lowes (Duhn! Duhn! Duuuhhhhn!)

Even though TAS-man and Cait-dog are qualified Super-Zeroes-I mean HEROES, even Heroes can't help get lost in Lowes. Finally, after days of hiking, rations were low, and TAS-man and Cait-Dog were no closer to their destination then when they started. Could they go on? Would they make it? What's that! A light at the end of the aisle! Could it be?! It is! A person with a red vest on that said "Need any help? Ask me."

"Sir!" TAS-man gasped, "Where can I find a super-new-transmecular-heroconomicle-rearranger-apperator-device?"

"Uhm, I work at Krogers, maybe you should ask someone that works here?"

TAS-man's last thread of insanity was gone. How many more days could he go without food? Cait-dog was looking more and more edible every day. When finally, the store employee appeared.

"I can only give advice, but not direct you to the path in which you needest to travelest. I cannot change the lives of other people."

"Oh mighty store employee dudette," Cait-sith groveled, "Where might we find a super-new-transmecular-heroconomicle-rearranger-apperator-device?"

"Walk straight, take a left, go straight until you reach Aisle 189, take a right, then straight, then a left, then straight, go through the tunnel that says "do not enter" (but watch for trains), climb that ladder at the end of the dark tunnel, go straight to aisle 1392, ride the elevator to floor 13, take a left, the go straight, you'll pass the rest rooms, and the employees lunch room, after two more miles, you should come to a "Y" in the Aisle, take a right, and go straight until you reach Aisle 17,398, you can't miss it."

After getting some M&M's and some Mountain dew, at some vending machines, our heroic heroes, journeyed the…well, journey of course. And after getting caught by Greed, and Despair, and meeting Faithful, they decided to write a book and call it "Pilgrims Progress."

Hours later, after finding and purchasing the super-new-transmecular-heroconomicle-rearranger-apperator-device (and also working in the kitchen for a year to pay it off) Thankfully, one year on earth is equal to one day in Clyattville. After another year of reading the instruction manual, they finally set of to Clyattville.

TAS-man and Cait-Dog stepped into the Machine.

"Wingardium Levioso!" screamed TAS-man.

"I don't remember the instruction manual saying to say 'Wingardium Levioso!'" grumbled Cait-dog.

"It doesn't, but I've always wanted to say that"

"Oh…well in that case, LUMOS FIGGY PUDDING!"

"…"

"Let's go already."

"Sometimes wonder about you Cait-dog, sometimes I wonder."

TAS-man pressed "ignition," and the two went zooming out through space and into the Clyattville dimension. Luckily, TAS-man discovered that in this new dimension, super heroes can fly! (unless of course they are in a "no flying zone".) After asking directions from a few squirrels, TAS-man and Cait-sith finally found the Radio Tower. Holli, Jaina, Tyrael, Roses, Roseidous, and Crayak were all sitting on top of the Radio tower, cheering.

TAS-man flew towards them at amazing speed. Suddenly, the cheering turned into looks of horror, and they all started screaming "Pull up! Pull up! TAS-man! WATCH OUT FOR THAT-"

SLAM

"…tower."

As TAS-man slid down the tower in pancake fashion, Cait-sith flew up to help the group. Cait-sith was saying

"Now all we have to do is hop into the super-new-transmecular-heroconomicle-rearranger-apperator-device and head back home!"

"Where is the super-new-transmecular-heroconomicle-rearranger-apperator-device Cait-dog?" Asked Holli sweetly.

"It's uh…It's uh…we uh…left it back in the jungle."

Holli turned from sweet, pretty Holli, into evil demonic Holli of rage instantly.

"WHY YOU LITTLE (once again this content has been edited by the ever so famous author.)"

As she and the others were strangling Cait-sith, TAS-man finally regained composure, and flew (very carefully) up to the tower.

"Hey guys!…Wow, I can tell you're happy to see Kate-Cait-dog…so…what's the problem?"

Cait answered through short breaths, "You. Left. The. *gasp* super-new-transmecular-heroconomicle-rearranger-apperator-device *gaaaasssssppp* in. The. Jungle."

"Oh, nice Darth Vader impression Cait, uh, Luckily, I brought a magic carpet."

Holli instantly changed back into perfect, sweet, and nice Holli as once again, through the science of "authors," a magic carpet just happened to be in TAS-man's pocket. TAS-man pulled the magic carpet out of his pocket. Then he pulled a white rabbit out of the carpet.

"WOW!!!" Cait exclaimed, "How'd you do that?!"

"I told you Cait-Dog, it's a Magic Carpet."

"It does fly, doesn't it?" Holli asked.

"Fly? Why would it need to fly? It's plenty of fun just makin' rabbits. Besides, the flying carpet costs ten dollars more."

As Holli prepared to change back into demonic-Holli, suddenly, time stopped. The store employee appeared!

"Hi Mr. Lowe!" TAS-man said cheerfully.

The store employee quickly autographed all of their shirts, then said "I cannot interfere in the lives of other people, but I can transport you back to home, give you a brand new car, and one hundred dollars spending cash for twelve easy payments of $999.99."

Luckily, TAS-man pulled out his superhero credit card and they all were flashed back to their homes. But of course, it was in another dimension, so their homes were just smoldering blocks of wood and plaster.

"Argh!" Roses screamed, "This isn't the right place! Let's get home!"

"Can we cook hotdogs on the open flame first?" begged Tyrael.

"Alright first we have hotdogs."

"And smores?"

"AND smores. But THEN we get home."

After they had all eaten (And after Rosey had been "accidentally" pushed in the fire twice) they decided to find their way home.

"What about gingerbread men?"

"NO TYRAEL!" everybody shouted.

And with that, they headed into the jungle. Suddenly, a high-pitched scream was heard.

"AAAAARRRRGGGGHHH!!!!"

"What's wrong Rosey?" Crayak asked.

"It's a...It's a...A spider!!!" Rosey said still in a high pitched tone.

"NOT a spider?!" Holli said mockingly.

"Y-y-y-y-yes...a sp-sp-sp-spider!"

Holli picked it up and threw it at Rosey. He (yes, Rosey is a 'he') fainted instantly.

"Holli, that wasn't nice." Jaina said. "Funny, extremely funny, but not nice. Plus, now we have to wait for him to wake up before we go on."

After roaming around through the jungle for days they finally made it to: the Library.

"This is what we're looking for?" Rosey, who had turned orange, from eating nothing but mangoes in the jungle asked. "What, may I ask are we going to do in a library?!"

"Poor, simple-minded Rosey," Holli sighed, "We are going to use the library's scanner, to scan ourselves onto the hard-drive, then, we will e-mail ourselves to our houses in our dimension, and go our separate ways."

"Right."

After stopping at McDonald's to eat, the group strolled (yes I said strolled) into the library. Crayak was the first to try, he stuck his head in the scanner, and clicked 'Scan'

"Insert 15 cents please."

"Uh, Holli, could I borrow 15 cents please?"

"Sure." Holli checked her purse. "Oops...Maybe I shouldn'ta supersized at McDonalds. I'm all out! Roses? Got any spare change?"

And so it went, none of them had any change. After scrutinizing the library floor on hands and knees for a week, they finally came up with 15 cents. Unfortunately, it was 15 cents per scan. After inserting 15 cents and cramming all of their faces on the single scanner, Rosey hit 'scan.'

With a flash, they were all gone.

Well, not all.

"Hey guys!" Rosey questioned the air. "Where'd you all go?"

Back at their homes, the group relaxed, except Roses, who immediately packed and moved to Budapest to get away from the others.



EPILOGUE



Roseidous:

Sits in a foldout chair, on a beach, with tiki-lights in the background.

"I'm not saying anything until I see my lawyer." Roseidous says, taking off his ultra-cool sunglasses.

A lawyer pops in out of nowhere.

Roseidous leans over and whispers into the lawyer's ear. "Tell them what I told you."

"My client wishes to express his dissatisfaction with the treatment of his person during the exploits in question. My client feels he has suffered emotional distress during the events in which his quote un-quote "friends" belittled and abused him. He says the claims of his love for the bunny are greatly exaggerated, and he wants compensation for the damages rendered. He demands a minimum of one cent in retribution, and a maximum of no more than two cents from each of the accused.

"Tyrael stands charged with eating all of Roseidous' butter--"

"And not that crappy 'I Can't Believe It's Not Butter!' It was the real McCoy!" Roseidous interjects. The anonymous audience gasps.

"Please," the lawyer hisses to Roseidous, "let me handle this. Now, Jaina stands accused of fraud, using her secret ventriloquist skills to fool Roseidous into believing the Pen could talk, and having him give the Pen money for his mother's ink transplant.

"Holli is being sued for sexual harassment and blatant flaunting. As a result, from staring, Roseidous' eye was poked out by a leaf carried by the wind. And ultimately was dealt a serious case of whiplash.

"Crayak is being indicted for tax evasion. Besides that, he touched Roseidous without his express permission, which falls under assault and battery. Just because he's from another dimension does not give him diplomatic immunity! We must charge him to the fullest extent of the law, to send a message to all other foreigners-that we will not stand for this kind of treatment! We WILL take action!"

The audience gives a standing ovation. Flowers are tossed at the lawyer. "And finally, Roses is under investigation for the murder of Bunny. No one ever knew how it died, but we have evidence that points to Jaina…I mean Roses. If you look at Exhibit A, you'll find a leather glove stained with blood. We believe this was Rose's glove. If it fits, we must not acquit!"

Sincerely, Roseidous



Holli:

It's sad to know that our adventure is over, it was such an educational journey. Me and Tyrael learned many things, many new and strange things. There was this one time we snuck off into the woods and found a Motel 6 and rented a room and...uh.....played Scrabble the entire night? Yes, that's it, we played Scrabble, and Monopoly, and Strip Poker....wait...NO! NOT Strip Poker!

I'm sorry, my mind tends to wander a bit, like that time me and Ty wandered away from camp and found this cave and began exploring each....uh....each tunnel, yeah, each tunnel of the cave. It was very exciting.

Being with Ty is very exciting, he is so full of surprises, like once he led me to a hidden waterfall and we went skinny...skinny...skinny fish catching! Very rare type of fish, we didn't actually catch one, but it was fun trying!

I'll never forget my time with Tyrael, or this adventure. It was definitely unique--in more ways than one. *sly smile*

Sincerely, Holli



Tyrael:

I've always felt as if I am a victim of fate. Either that or "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter." I had always been sort of partial to the second one. This adventure proved me wrong.

How horrible would it have been to live my life in fear of my cruel master, I Can't Believe It's Not Butter? How many sleepless nights, wondering if it really IS butter?

I like to think that even the worst ordeals have a purpose. This one indeed did. I learned the true Guider of my Destiny (tm): Margarine.

---Tyrael



Roses:

I know, everyone's saying it was a wonderful adventure, aren't they? Well, it wasn't. It was terrible. I can't believe I got stuck with those people and that horrible dead bunny. Really. I mean, I finally have to rescue myself and then I get pulled into a parallel dimension? How fair is that?

I have been asked about the gingerbread man incident. No, I do not feel sorry that I lied to Tyrael, and no, I never gave him a gingerbread man. I spent more time with those people than I ever wanted to, no offense to them personally. But then, who really wants to know about Roseidous' Scooby Doo fantasy? Not me. I want to spend the rest of life avoiding any further adventures and living alone in Budapest. I will contact none of my fellow adventurers, except Holli, because we are evil partners. (And possibly Jaina, because she did hit Roseidous that one time.)

*waves at Holli and Jaina and ignores everyone else*

--Roses



Crayak:

Well, that was fun. To think the whole story started with a greased pen. I think I wrote only like 2 or 3 chapters, but I was glad to be a part of this adventure. Who knows? Maybe I'll travel to Clyattville one day.

Well, that's it. I don't have much to say. I'm just a flying nun boy.

--Crayak



Jaina:

Jaina could not be reached for further comment, as she is on a spy mission in a foreign country.



Bunny:

Yeah, it's true, Roses murdered me. I hope she burns in Hell. Actually, it's not that bad of a place. The locals are a bit antsy, but once you get to know them, they aren't so bad. And every once and a while, Hell freezes over, so ice-skating has become a popular sport among the imps. Just be careful, the Devil throws a mean snowball.

Now, as for the adventures, I'm still a bit miffed at being buried. Personally, I think they should have buried that cow-coward Tyrael. Who would have noticed, anyway? Holli? She'd be too distracted by Roseidous' buff physique. …Okay, he paid me to say that. Holli would have actually been distracted by my buff, decaying physique. I mean, who can resist road kill?

There was one technical error that annoyed me. When I told Roseidous to use the "Force", the recording microphone must have tapped against something, because I clearly said, "Use the Yorshe, Roseidous, the Yorshe!", which is a French yogurt that Roseidous kept in his shoe. I knew it was slowing down his progress, so I suggested he eat it. Or throw it at someone. Preferably Roses, since she killed me. That lousy farm girl…thinks she can do anything with a BB Gun… Just wait until I rally up all those crows you knocked off! You'll be sorry, when you're re-living that low-budget movie "The Birds!"



Pen:

What's there to say when you've been transformed from pen to a pencil to some hideous monstrosity, some hideous mix of the two? What's there to say when you're only love has been murdered? All that's left for me is to curl up in a corner and die.

Actually....curling is sort of difficult when you're a pen/cil...umm....could someone curl me and stick me in the corner? Please? Somebody? Anybody? Am I doomed to live this dank, greasy life alone?

Curse Roseidous and Tyrael for greasing me, and instigating the whole thing. And curse Holli for not understanding their clever ruse before it was too late for me.

I'll get you, Roseidous and Roses and Holli and Tyrael. And your little I Can't Believe It's Not Butter too.

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