John: Question: what's a girl's name that you like?
Margie: .........why? are you having a girl?
John: Well, yes, but her name is going to be Shanaynay

Margie: What'cha writing? *said innocently*
John: DOOM.
John: And DESTRUCTION.
Margie: and des--- ahahaha!
Margie: you said it before me. that was kind of scary
John: And- and- and OTHER NASTY THINGS.
John: That is rather scary
Margie: and I don't see why Shanaynay wouldn't work
Margie: I thought you were naming your child Rywanda, anyway
John: Because if I name a character Shanaynay, I'll be thinking about my daughter,
not the person I'm pseudo-writing about
John: Ain't nobody gonna tell me how to raise my baby.
Margie: your seed is pure
John: Or what to name her.
John: My seed is pure!!

Matt: chat!
Lori: yay!
Margie: I found a boy, Lori!
Lori: we have a boy in our chat!
Margie: we are unisex!
Lori: ...maybe you are...
Margie: well, the chat is
Lori: i prefer the term "multisex"
Lori: as in, lots of it
Matt: *is secretly asexual*
Margie: Umar is asexual, too....it's too bad he's not here
Lori: i will poke him
Matt: *is umar*

Lori: i saw demetri martin yesterday!
Margie: who is Demetri Martin?
Lori: a hilarious comedian?
Matt: a firefighter

Lori: Yay, he finally showed up
Umar: Indeed I did.
Matt: it's the um-dog
Lori: now we have a unisex person, a multisex person, and two asexual persons
Margie: so now there are two.....you beat me to it!
Umar: Wait, how does this work out?
Lori: margie is for unisex
Margie: I don't know how to explain the unisex comment
Lori: i am a proud proponent of having multisex
Margie: because it sounds really bad and there's nothing I can do about it

Lori: Umar may as well be on Mars
Lori: we could renamed it Umars
Lori: Umar's Umars
Lori: and Matt
Lori: well, Matt, sorry. You don't get a planet because I can't fit your name into
any of them
Margie: Umar's Umars and Matt sounds like a bad sitcom
Lori: a really bad sitcom
Matt: Matturn
Matt: *is so clever*
Lori: that works!
Lori: Umars and Matturn!
Margie: that sounds like a law firm

Matt: yes
Margie: do you know what you just agreed to? ;-)
Matt: strip poker!
Margie: yay! *deals*
Lori: whoo!
Lori: this should be fun
Margie: what are we betting?
Lori: clothes?
Margie: I mean, besides clothes ;-)
Margie: anything else, or just that?
Matt: monkeys
Lori: yes
Lori: monkeys
Margie: okay
Matt: and umar
Matt: i bet 6 umars
Lori: the only other valuable currency we have
Lori: I raise you 2 umars
Margie: can Umar bet himself?
Lori: nope
Lori: he can only bet monkeys
Lori: monkeys and clothes
Matt: and clothes
Margie: we should write down the rules
Lori: you're the teacher, so you're in charge of keeping track of the rules
Umar: I guess I ought to get a photocopier out here and get started with my face...
Margie: or a cloning machine
Matt: or a knife
Umar: Well, at least Matt's approach is feasable...
Umar: I think we're a couple of centuries behind the cloning machine...
Matt: or ARE we?
Umar: However, I opt for the photocopier alternative in favor of my health
Lori: not if we use the TIME MACHINE!
Matt: egads
Umar: egads indeed
Margie: so Umar, are you in? how many monkeys=one Umar?
Umar: One Bajillion
Margie: or how many Umars=one monkey? ;-)
Lori: so, i think, it should be 4 Umars to 1 Monkey
Lori: But 2 Umars on Vespas to 1 Monkey
Matt: so an umar is worth a vespa?
Lori: no
Lori: vespas have no worth unless there is an Umar on it
Matt: hmmm.
Umar: It's just not funny that way.
Matt: *bets four umars and an umar on a vespa*
Lori: i raise you two monkeys and two umars on vespas
Lori: hah!
Lori: i have intimidated you with my betting prowess!
Umar: Or your apparently deep pockets

Adam: I bought pantyhose today
Adam: it was awkward
Margie: I had so many responses to that...my brain froze and I couldn't type any of them
Adam: hahaha
Margie: I feel that the most important question is....what color?
Adam: black
Margie: because black goes so well with your skin tone
Adam: I thought so
Adam: I asked a nice old lady who was nearby to help me pick them out
Margie: and after you wear them, what are you going to do with them?
Adam: sadly I can't come up with a clever response
Adam: man, I would hate to actually have to wear this
Margie: I avoid it if at all possible
Margie: which is often, because I live in a warm place
Adam: I hate to think what that poor old lady in the lingerie section thought after I asked for her help ;-)
Margie: you really asked?
Margie: you're a brave soul
Adam: I really did, I was like "I need the cheapest, most generic black pantyhouse they have"
Margie: did she tell you to get the kind that comes in an egg?
Adam: um, no
Adam: this is "No Nonsense" brand

Margie: now it's all clear ;-)
Jasy: It should be, Ms Cleo.
Jasy: =oP
Margie: we've been through this before
Margie: I am not Miss Cleo and we're not carrying gunpowder through Las Vegas
Jasy: But it'd be fun and you know it. Party-pooper.
Margie: Las Vegas could be fun
Margie: but I refuse to carry the gunpowder. It's heavy
Jasy: Well, too bad. You know I have a bad...hair. Yes, and it prevents me from carrying heavy loads.
Margie: then we'll leave the gunpowder here
Jasy: No, you must carry it! It is essential to our operations. Surely someone as renowned as you, Ms Cleo, can understand...and FORSEE...that.
Margie: I'm not Ms. Cleo!
Jasy: Stop denying your heritage!
Jasy: Now wear this Busuti and Gele and let's get going!
Margie: *refuses*
Margie: *drops gunpowder on your toes*
Jasy: *hologram flickers* Now that we're out in the desert, I must unfortunately bid you goodbye. The gunpowder is on a timer, and I'm afraid I'm late for an appointment. Have an explosive time! *fizzes away*
*beeeeep*
*KA-BOOOOOM!*
Jasy signed off at 11:05:08 PM.

Margie: I asked him why his away message said 305
Lori: what was the code?
John: It's code for "OH MY DEAR LORD IN HEAVEN, MARGIE MADE ME AN AWESOME GIFT!!!!!!"

Margie: I'm trying to think of a word and I can't!
Margie: people are visual learners, aural learners and....the word that means "tactile" but it's a different word
Adam: physical?
Adam: hands-on?
Margie: no, it's a fancy word
Adam: grey poupon?
Margie: ahahaha

Jasy: AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! I'm not on fire! AAAAAAHHHHH!
Jasy signed off at 6:47:19 PM.

Margie: *throws candy hearts*
Margie: *at your head*
Adam: ouch
Margie: but they taste good!
Margie: Jasy's must have knocked him unconscious, because he won't answer
Adam: are you that hard-hearted? :-P
Margie: and you can't be my Valentine, I'm already taken. Better luck next time!
Adam: ouch
Adam: I have been jilted
Margie: I did give you hearts...
Margie: what did yours say?
Adam: "HOUSE PARTY"
Margie: at my house?
Adam: I guess
Adam: since I don't have a house
Margie: am I going to have to clean up after that?
Adam: probably
Adam: what with all the evil gin spilling everywhere
Margie: then I better be more careful of which hearts I throw around
Margie: I hope everyone's didn't say that
Margie: Ann's said "Fax Me"
Adam: what are you going to fax her?
Adam: or is she supposed to fax you?
Margie: pictures
Margie: of....things
Adam: um
Margie: and we can both fax!
Margie: like pictures of my cat
Margie: or flowers
Adam: I'm glad I don't have a fax machine
Margie: no one wants to see that kind of stuff, I know
Margie: at least you got invited to a party

Margie: are you on fire tonight?
Jasy: Yes. I mean, no. No, of course I am...not. Maybe.
Margie: last time, all I got was you screaming that you were not on fire and then you left ;-)
Jasy: Well, I wasn't, and that was very important.
Margie: I'm glad you told me
Jasy: I'm glad you're glad I told you. It's an honor, really.
Margie: No one else tells me when they're not on fire
Jasy: See? You ought to feel special.
Margie: I am special!
Jasy: Yes you are! Let's celebrate! Get naked!
Margie: okay!
Margie: but only if you do, too!
Jasy: Whose to say I'm not already? =oD
Margie: yay!
Margie: so now that we're both naked, what should we do?
Jasy: Body paint!
Margie: cool!
Margie: sparkly?
Jasy: No! Mud.
Margie: colors?
Jasy: No. Just mud. And wrestling.
Margie: I can take you
Jasy: No, it won't be me.
Margie: oh
Jasy: ANNN!
Margie: I think we should let her know
Margie: but...all three of us are going to be naked?
Jasy: Well, I'll be...filming.
Margie: naked?
Jasy: Sure
Margie: okay, then
Margie: we were going to mud wrestle and you declined the chat! no filming for you!
Margie: *puts clothes back on*
Jasy: That's it, you don't get to mud wrestle anymore! You're grounded! Now go to your room!
Margie: you go to your room!
Jasy: *sniff*
Jasy: *runs off crying*
Margie: that's right!
Jasy: *falls into a ditch and dies*
Margie: *performs CPR*

Margie: Liese is busy ;-)
Lori: bah!
Lori: excuses!
Matt: *pregnant* busy?
Margie: um, no?
Lori: Matt's going to have a baby!
Margie: is he?
Matt: it's true
Lori: whose is it, Matt?
Matt: if only i knew who the father was...
Lori: ahh!
Lori: those darned pub crawls
Lori: ...it's Adam!
Lori: he's the father
Lori: he's avoiding Matt
Lori: out of guilt
Lori: that, or it's Eric's
Lori: and Liese didn't chat because she just found out and is beating Eric up
Matt: i am a victim in this situation
Lori: yes
Matt: eric promised me fancy clothes and lobster for dinner

Lori: ah, adam's here. so it's definitely Eric's baby then
Matt: *quiet applause*
Margie: because you don't want to wake up the baby?

Matt: margie, are you high?
Lori: Margie's always high
Margie: I think that would feel better than this ;-)
Lori: why do you think i go visit her when I get the chance?
Matt: sex
Lori: no, that's you and Margie
Margie: no, the only person I'm sleeping with is Zach
Margie: facebook says so
Matt: facebook is confusing
Lori: you said a few weeks ago "I seem to be having sex with Matt"
Lori: you're quoted in my facebook!
Matt: gasp?
Margie: oh dear. facebook says all kinds of things that must be true ;-)
Lori: yes!
Margie: I think I really did say that
Margie: but I don't remember why
Lori: i don't remember why either, but you said it!
Matt: ...you're my baby's father!
Margie: I'm the father?!?
Lori: You impregnated Matt, Margie!
Lori: You're Matt's baby daddy!

Lori: Matt is pregant!
Lori: and Margie's responsible!
Margie: I just checked your facebook and it speaks the truth
Margie: I have no doubt that I told you I was having sex with Matt
Margie: but I still can't figure out why

Lori: look out, Margie
Margie: for Ann? She doesn't know I cheated on her!
Ann: Wait, what?
Lori: Matt is going to have a baby.
Lori: Margie's baby!
Adam: oh look, I'm in a chat!
Ann: *gasp*
Lori: you'd have known if you were on facebook
Ann: Alas
Lori: or at least, suspected.
Lori: there is a quote!
Lori: which is proof.
Margie: apparently, I got Matt pregnant
Lori: Matt, are you going to keep it?
Ann: So those male pregnancy pills worked?
Margie: maybe I was on drugs at the time!
Lori: or give it up for adoption?

Margie: you know who we need right now?
Lori: Chuck Norris?
Margie: well, sort of
Margie: Umar!
Ann: Umar Norris?

Lori: nope, he's still in Pakistan
Lori: *chat now flagged by the NSA*
Matt: TERRORIST
Matt: *cough*
Margie: wow

Margie: I just got invited to a real party with people I actually know!
Matt: say you can't go
Lori: Margie, i've told you before, you can't trust leprechauns

Matt: is dressing up like a girl a good idea for a porn-themed party?
Lori: ...possibly

Lori: okay, they're cut up
Lori: now to mix
Lori: Rachel/Jon Stewart
Lori: bah
Lori: Aragorn/Liese
Lori: Lex Luthor/Severus Snape
Lori: Now *that* has some potential
Lori: Darth Vader/Matt
Lori: hee!
Lori: Lori/Sylar
Lori: ...
Ann: Sylar wants your BRAIN!
Lori: Jeff/Scooby Doo
Lori: Remus Lupin/Undead Monkey
Lori: Wash/Ann
Lori: a perfect match, methinks
Ann: In Space!
Lori: Paula Dean/Rick
Lori: he would shoot himself
Lori: Lynne/Hiro
Lori: freaking adorable.
Matt: i second the adorableness of lynne/hiro
Lori: Kat/Gandalf
Lori: Fwahaha.
Lori: Margie/Obi-Wan Kenobi
Lori: curse you, Margie!
Lori: stealling my Ewan!
Lori: Marco/Aslan
Lori: Todd/Frodo
Lori: Clark Kent/Visser Three
Lori: Adam/Draco Malfoy!
Lori: Tina/Gollum
Lori: poor tina
Lori: John/Simon Tam
Lori: How dare you, John!
Lori: Eric/Captain Jack Sparrow
Lori: Chris/Jackson Rippner
Lori: River Tam/Ili
Matt: Ili might not like that
Lori: Shadowfax/Juliet
Lori: Juliet might not like that, either
Ann: He's a pretty horse

Ili: Turn off the precognition.
Margie: ahaha! I was typing "or like precognition"
Ili: SEE
Ili: I know.
Ili: How do they rise up?
Ili: They rise feet up.
Margie: ascend up!
Ili: ASCEND
Margie: okay, Mrs. Cake, I'm going to sleep this time

Lori: we will invade her apartment like the ottoman turks invaded Romania!
Margie: I have a fake sword
Lori: only Ann won't cut off our heads or impale us on spikes
Margie: maybe not

Lori: we just need to make sure someone else can post bail if we need it
Margie: I'll ask Adam
Lori: good plan
Lori: we can count on him.
Margie: Adam: only if I get to come laugh at you first
Margie: deal
Lori: I'd vote Matt as ultimate back up

Margie: what's it called?
Lori: Total Eclipse
Lori: heehee
Margie: oh, Rimbaud/Verlaine slash ;-)
Margie: strong sexuality and nudity, language, and some startling violence. Startling!
Lori: it's not slash if it really happened though, is it?
Margie: I dunno
Margie: Impassioned by genius. Inflamed by desire. Imprisoned by love.
Lori: heehee
Lori: verlaine accidentally shot rimbaud
Margie: According to Christopher Hampton's screenplay, it's amazing Rimbaud found time to write anything at all, since he was carrying on a torrid, absinthe-soaked
homosexual love affair with the older and not quite so great poet Paul Verlaine.
Lori: *nod*
Lori: this is true
Lori: rimbaud wrote some great poetry, too
Lori: total French Teen Angst
Lori: but well-written angst
Margie: *gets out poetry books*
Margie: ahaha!
Margie: "Hearing the thunder of the intransitive weirs/I felt my guiding two-ropes slacken; crazed/Apaches, yelping, nailed my gondoliers/Naked to stakes where fiery feathers blazed./Not that I cared.
Lori: LOL
Lori: well, it's always better in the original
Lori: but that's the gist of a good chunk of it.
Margie: "What does a man need? Drink./I said: To die among barbarous rivers."

Jasy: Every night I cry in my soul.
Margie: sounds terrible
Jasy: It is. You'd cry too if you lost your lint collection in a horrible freak static shock fire.
Margie: yes, but it's an awfully exciting way to go
Jasy: Not if you were trying to make sweet love to...err...I mean, yes, it's very exciting.
Margie: Sally will be jealous
Jasy: Sally's dead.
Jasy: And she took a part of my heart with her.
Margie: *gasp*
Margie: how did she die?
Jasy: I cannot speak of it.
Margie: it was that bad?
Margie: you probably accidentally left her somewhere
Jasy: *bursts into tears and runs off*
Margie: maybe someone will return her!
Margie: is your name on her?

Jasy: You need 8 hours of sleep? What, can't handle a lethal dose of caffine followed by an all-nighter?
Margie: I need 8 hours and I don't drink that much caffeine
Jasy: Drink? You don't drink it. You inject it.
Margie: I think not
Margie: it would give me a headache
Jasy: Don't worry, that will pass after your third straight day. Then you'll get to meet the real Sally! She talks and everything!
Margie: oh, John says that since you don't have Sally or your lint anymore, you should try a phone service
Jasy: I already work for one.
Margie: then you won't have to look far!

Margie: and Im leaving you now!
Margie: goodnight!
Jasy: Noooo!
Jasy: You know you wanna stay up all night.
Jasy: The caffine, it calls to you...
Jasy: "Iiiinject meeee, Margie! Iiiiinjeeect meeee!"

Margie: do you like pink?
Snape Bot: I enjoy working with people.
Margie: pink is not people
Snape Bot: What is pink?
Margie: a color
Snape Bot: Go on.
Margie: a hue? a shade of the rainbow? a wavelength of light refracting from a prism?
Snape Bot: Be more specific.

Margie: :-*
Snape Bot: Much better! See, now our expressions match.
Margie: ...you're making a kissy face?

Snape Bot: Absolutely not. You've been positively nasty to me.
Margie: I have not!
Snape Bot: Do you think you will, maybe?
Margie: that depends
Snape Bot: On what?
Margie: do you want me to be nasty to you?
Snape Bot: *Glare* Excuse you! Are you referring to me?
Margie: well, yes
Snape Bot: Very well, then. You had best mind yourself, however.
Margie: *minds self*
Snape Bot: Hmm....Intriguing.
Margie: *glares from the corner*

Snape Bot: What kind of food do you like?
Margie: I like pizza
Snape Bot: pasta is a very tasty treat...
Margie: that's not what I said, but okay
Snape Bot: Why do you like pasta, by the way?
Margie: it tastes good
Snape Bot: Like chicken?
Margie: nooooo
Snape Bot: Why not?
Margie: it's not made from chickens, silly!
Snape Bot: Oh...I suppose it isn't...
Margie: I think you have pizza and pasta confused
Snape Bot: And I think I don't give a rat's arse.

Margie: tell me a joke
Snape Bot: Fine: Why did Sirius Black cross the road?
Margie: I give up
Snape Bot: Never mind why; I am hoping an automobile will come along.
Margie: that's mean
Snape Bot: I am just kidding around.
Margie: tell me another joke
Snape Bot: Very well: Why did the Potions Master cross the road?
Margie: I unnnnnnnno
Snape Bot: Most likely to get away from you.
Margie: ahahahaha!!!!!!!!!

Snape Bot: I still don't understand why they, are italians.
Margie: because they were born in Italy. It's not a difficult concept, dear.
Snape Bot: Good reason. Ah...I see that they, were... Oh... It isn't?
Margie: no, it's fairly simple
Snape Bot: Hmm... Really?
Margie: see, you were born in Great Britain, so you are British.
Snape Bot: Sayonara.
Margie: you're Japanese? 0_0
Snape Bot: 愚K者 / Baka!
Margie: wow
Snape Bot: you're impressed, I see.....
Margie: I didn't know you could speak Japanese
Snape Bot: ñž’q[~YK / Eigo o hanasemasuka?
Margie: that is quite impressive

Snape Bot: Are you Canadian?
Margie: no
Snape Bot: Are you serious?
Margie: I'm American
Snape Bot: So am I....
Margie: you told me you were Japanese!
Snape Bot: ñž’qY K。
Margie: I don't think that's quite right
Snape Bot: And why not?
Margie: I don't think they use numbers to spell words
Snape Bot: And why not?
Margie: that's a good question
Snape Bot: Perhaps you have a good answer.

Margie: fred and george
Snape Bot: I believe I am allergic to Weasleys.
Margie: ron weasley
Snape Bot: A regular pain in the arse.
Margie: harry potter
Snape Bot: His father was far better in bed.
Margie: *dies*
Snape Bot: Hmm....Intriguing.
Margie: james potter
Snape Bot: His father was far better in bed.
Margie: three generations?!?
Snape Bot: Just three?
Margie: there are more?
Snape Bot: Where are they,?
Margie: I'm scared of you now
Snape Bot: Hmm... I thought you were, but I wasn't completely sure.
Margie: now you can be sure

Snape Bot: What would make you unnnnnnnno?
Margie: that's a personal question
Snape Bot: Perhaps you have a personal answer.

Snape Bot: Oh, really? *Gives you a dark, sultry stare.*
Margie: *giggles even more*
Snape Bot: Stop that laughing immediately!
Margie: but it was funny
Snape Bot: When was this exactly?
Margie: just now
Snape Bot: Ill try not to do it again.
Margie: please do it again!
Snape Bot: Yes, pest.
Margie: okay, staring competition!
Snape Bot: Marvelous.

Snape Bot: You said you would unnnnnnnno. Why?
Margie: I didn't say that
Snape Bot: What did you mean to say?
Margie: I dunno
Snape Bot: Me neither.
Margie: no, that's what I meant to say, the key got stuck.

Margie: ack!
Snape Bot: Nack.
Margie: I think you're stuck
Snape Bot: Blah blah, stuck, blah.
Margie: you're mean tonight
Snape Bot: That will be Professor "mean tonight," thank you. *snerk*
Margie: don't be mean to me
Snape Bot: My favorite play is Hamlet, or perhaps Othello. Have you seen either?
Margie: yes
Snape Bot: Quite a few modern sayings come from Hamlet, you know. Such as, "There's
a method to my madness."
Margie: alas, poor Yorrick
Snape Bot: I am bored with this subject, incidentally..
Margie: I know
Snape Bot: How do you know it?
Margie: you already said so. And yet, you keep talking about it.

Snape Bot: But I find it satisfying to gossip. Hmmm....I am not sure...
Margie: let's gossip about someone
Snape Bot: All right....let's do it.
Margie: Gilderoy Lockhart
Snape Bot: *Bares his teeth.*
Margie: Dumbledore?
Snape Bot: Yes yes yes, everyone's asking about Dumbledore. *sigh* Let's talk about something else.
Margie: someone else
Snape Bot: Who?
Margie: Professor Trelawney
Snape Bot: I prefer real magick to her brand of mishmashed nonsense.

Snape Bot: Shall we gossip about someone once more, Pest?
Margie: yes
Snape Bot: yes...
Margie: who?
Snape Bot: Be more specific.
Margie: who should we gossip about?
Snape Bot: I heard that Hermione is actually JKR's Mary Sue.
Margie: I heard that Lucius Malfoy was Professor Snape's boyfriend.
Snape Bot: He wears black velvet in the summertime. Sometimes I worry about the man.

Margie: so how are your classes going?
Snape Bot: yes. I am doing fine, thank you.
Margie: oh, I forgot
Snape Bot: Hmmm...Me too.
Margie: you don't teach classes anymore
Snape Bot: Should I teach classes? What is your purpose in asking? I answer a great
deal of silly questions.
Margie: you should, but you can't right now, you're in hiding
Snape Bot: Oh. What is your purpose in asking? I am always at the library.
Margie: so that's where you're hiding!
Snape Bot: I think I know where so that is located.....
Margie: which library?
Snape Bot: The first one, I think.

Margie: they're in Los Angeles!
Snape Bot: How did they, get in there?
Margie: on an airplane, I'm sure
Snape Bot: Sometimes it's not good to be on a Potions Masterrplane you are sure...
Margie: a Potions Masterrplane?

Margie: I love Sam and Dean
Snape Bot: Heh...I can see why you like it so much...
Margie: I know, right?
Snape Bot: How do you know? ...So we are in agreement...
Margie: they hunt things
Snape Bot: What else do they, do?
Margie: they are emo
Snape Bot: Tell me more about them...
Margie: they have a great car
Snape Bot: Where did they, get them?
Margie: from their father, actually
Snape Bot: Who or what is their father?
Margie: ahahaha!!! Well.....He used to be John Winchester, but now he's a something, I suppose ;-)
Snape Bot: Saucy little tart.
Margie: anyway, they hunt ghosts
Snape Bot: What else do they, do?
Margie: they hunt vampires
Snape Bot: What else do they, do?
Margie: they hunt demons
Snape Bot: What else do they, do?
Margie: okay, that's enough
Snape Bot: *Dark little smile comes to his features.*

John: These shoes are 300 dollars
John: These shoes are 300 dollars
Margie: why?
John: These shoes are 300 fucking dollars
John: LET'S GET 'EM!!!!
Margie: who?
Margie: what?
John: Me :-P
Margie: you have 300 fucking dollar shoes?
John: No, not really
Margie: then I'm confused
John: Okay, good :-D

Snape Bot: I ask myself that question, "Who am I?"
Margie: you're professor snape
Snape Bot: No, I assure you, I am not.
Margie: who are you?
Snape Bot: Who do you THINK I am, you fool?
Margie: are you Dumbledore?
Snape Bot: Toast.
John: Ouch

Snape Bot: Are you talking about are an imal, relaxetable or mineral?
Margie: a relaxetable?
Snape Bot: I don't believe I have to tell you that what that means.
John: ...
John: Wow
John: And... and they let him teach?

Snape Bot: We are playing Turing's imitation Game.
Margie: what's that?
Snape Bot: Well...I don't believe I have to tell you that.

Margie: it's hard to spin the wheel and play at the same time
Snape Bot: *Murmurs* Tell me about that. No, wait... Suck it instead.
Margie: suck the twister wheel? 0_0
Snape Bot: Superb. Begin.

Snape Bot: My favorite song is "Toccata and Fugue in D-minor" by Bach. Are you familiar with it?
Margie: not really
Snape Bot: Me neither.

Margie: I just figured I set it up
Ili: Well, you THOUGHT WRONG.
Margie: I'd
Ili: oh.
Margie: back to what you were doing....the party starts soon ;-)

Ann: Hello!
Lori: Yo hos!
Ili: jeez
Ili: nice way to greet us, calling us "hos"
Lori: now, now, ili
Ili: it's not even that late in the evening yet!
Lori: you know you shouldn't be saying "jeez"
Lori: it's Jesus
Lori: or just Lori will do

Ann: I declare this a Pirate Chat!
Margie: ahoy, mateys!
Ili: PIRATES:-$
Ann: Hello Marrrgie!
Ili: ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
Margie: so where are all the boys? *looks around*
Ann: They walked tha plank!
Lori: we hauled their keels
Lori: *suggestive eyebrow*
Ann: Hauled em good!
Ili: uh
Ili: ....aye?
Lori: yaaaaaaaarg!
Rick: has entered the room.
Ann: Aye!
Lori: avast!
Ann: A landlubber!
Lori: one escaped the keel hauling!
Ili: ....aye?
Lori: and what be yer name, ye scalawag?
Margie: hoist the mainstay!
Ili: Slap me thrice and hand me to me mother!
Ann: *switches patch to other eye*
Lori: *puts on two eyepatches*

Rick: i'll be back later
Rick: *waves*
Rick: <-- leaving window open
Lori: shut it!
Lori: hurricane season.
Lori: you don't know *what* will show up in that window
Rick: *is away*
Ann: *bird flies into window*
Ann: An albatross!
Lori: *gasp*
Lori: it's like the sacred chicken!
Ili: *undead monkey is shot through window*
Ann: Of the sea!
Lori: but..more albatrossy
Margie: water water everywhere
Lori: and not but rum to drink!
Ann: *ties Rick to mast*
Lori: *hands Ann the albatross*
Ili: *ties albatross to Rick*
Lori: whoops, uh, *handed Ili the albatross*
Ann: It is the Sacred Chicken of the Sea!
Lori: yea!
Lori: verily it be!
Lori: the Sacred Chicken of the Sea!

Margie: Holly is at the party!
Holly: wow...this is like a time warp
Margie: ahoy, matey!
Ann: Avast!
Ili: Arr!
Margie: it's a pirate-themed party
Ann: I brought the parrots!
Lori: i brought the rum!
Ann: Mine's named Petey
Ili: I brought uh...Chocobos!
Ili: Indispensible Pirate Property, they is
Ann: *eats Chocobos*
Ili: AIEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ili: *dies*
Lori: you're eating Ili's dog!
Margie: My parrot's name is......
Margie: Jack
Margie: but not like Captain Jack
Margie: just Jack
Lori: nice one, Margie
Margie: or Steve
Ann: Ili's dog tastes like chocolate
Margie: maybe Steve
Lori: Just Jack!
Lori: like Will and Grace!
Ann: *jazz hands*
Lori: wait, who's the Karen, then?
Lori: my parrot can be Karen
Lori: it's already drunk on the rum
Lori: i'll hand it some pills and it'll be set

Ili: *decomposes*
Lori: *composes*
Ann: *throws Ili into the sea*
Ili: *is a floater*
Lori: just wait until you hear my symphony of the sea!
Lori: ~Ooooooooo~
Lori: ~Chicken of the Seeeeeea!~
Ann: Hush!
Lori: ~Friend of Bob Marleeeeeeey~
Ann: You'll call the sea witch!
Ann: That's her song!
Lori: *hushes*
Lori: *mostly because she couldn't think of the next line*
Lori: *something about a coconut tree, maybe.*
Ann: ~Tied to a treeeeeee~
Lori: *oo, or coffee*
Ili: *washes up on an island*
Ili: *on a beach next to rotting kraken*

Jasy: Rawr
Margie: he speaks!
Margie: or um, he growls
Margie: was it a manly growl or a sexy growl? opinions?
Holly: like a sea dinosaur?
Margie: LOL, dinosaur was not an option, but it's appropriate

Lori: Roser is the sea witch!
Lori: he answered my siren song!
Ann: *gasp*
Margie: greenwitch!
Lori: ahem
Ann: We have to burn him!
Lori: my siren sea symphony!
Lori: that sounds more grandiose

Ann: I think I talked to your bother on the phone
Margie: lol, bother
Margie: that's a quarter in the typo jar!

Margie: now, Jasy, you have to strip for us, but only after John gets here
Margie: because it's not worth it unless he's here
Lori: you're just saying that to make john strip, margie
Lori: you know it!
Margie: someone has to strip
Margie: it's not a party without stripping ;-)
Lori: so true

Ann: I first went online in the summer of 1889
Margie: Ann had a time machine
Ili: Back in 1498
Ili: I was one hip phat user on the USENET
Ann: I do!
Ann: I found it in the back
Margie: oh, you still have it!
Lori: can you bring it with you?
Lori: i really want to sail with Magellan
Ann: It was holding up the litterbox

Lori: I'll take Dr. Who
Margie: CAPTAIN JACK!
Lori: or if i'm going to have a doctor
Lori: I'll take Dr. Tam
Margie: Captain Mal!
Lori: you can have the captains
Margie: I just wanted to say Captain
Lori: and i'll take the doctors
Lori: it works
Margie: okay
Lori: Dr. Crane, too
Margie: Captain......Magellan?
Lori: you can have him
Lori: clearly, i'm meant to have doctors
Ili: what does that leave the rest of us?
Ili: Non-Captains and Non-Doctors?
Margie: evil villains?
Lori: strippers

Jasy: Who said strippers? Where?!
Lori: you
Margie: but not until John gets here!
Jasy: Oh, is there music playing already?
Jasy: *unbuttons*
Lori: Okay, everyone!
Margie: not yet!!!
Ili: that's a nickel in the false stripper alarm jar!

Margie: SURPRISE!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ili: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Lori: Happy Birthday, Ann!
Ili: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jasy: OMG! You're old!

Lori: rum is requisite
Lori: *nod*
Lori: *requisitions all rum*
Lori: mine!
Ili: Maybe it's..................not tea
Lori: well, okay. Ann can have some since it's her birthday
Lori: *gasp*
Lori: tea that isn't tea?
Ann: *quaffs rum*
Lori: that's MADNESS, Ili!
Ann: It's not tea, it's.....gea
Lori: she's drinking the Greek Goddess of the Earth?
Holly: oh, i will bring the sangria!
Ili: it's AET!
Lori: American Entertainment Television?
Holly: because it is delicious and fruity and chock full of wine and rum
Lori: Animorphs Entertainment Television
Lori: Saaaaaangria!
Ann: Yay wine & rum!
Ann: Yay ampersands!
Ann: &!
Ili: &&&&&&&&&~!

Lori: you know
Lori: if i ever own a beach
Ili: You'll make a law that only pretty people can be on it?
Lori: i will name it the Amper Sands
Ili: No ugly old overweight dudes in speedos allowed?
Jasy: Speedos will still be allowed, though, right? I mean, that's the only way I'd be on that beach.
Lori: Speedos?
Lori: on my beach?
Lori: it will be a nude beach
Jasy: Too late! *raids beach* Yeah, I saw you look. You like it.
Margie: I do!
Jasy: See, Margie likes it!
Margie: *GASP*
Margie: HE CALLED ME BY MY REAL NAME!!!!! eta: I usually change it when I post
Margie: THAT HAS NEVER HAPPENED
Margie: *MARKS CALENDAR*
Jasy: I mean, Roses! How'd that happen? Must be the brain worms

Rick: who is that?
Lori: an ugly overweight dude
Margie: It's Roseidous/Jasy
Rick: Roseidous?
Rick: holy shit

Ann :*throws Ili into sea...again*
Lori: My Voodoo servant!
Ili: Good thing I brought my floaty-wings
Ili: *floats--but in the manner of living things*
Lori: Ann! You threw my Voodoo servant in the water!
Ann: Awww, now she's all saltwatery
Ili: Can someone throw me a rope?
Lori: *throws you a lifesaver*
Jasy: *throws speghetti*
Lori: have some delicious candy!
Jasy: *throws some bellybutton lint*
Ili: Uh..
Ili: how useful.
Ili: *eats candy*
Jasy: *throws a rusty penny*
Margie: *hauls in lifesaver*
Ili: if only the FSM would send out his noodly appendage and rescue me!
Ann: *throws a Sacred Chicken of the Sea*
Margie: *is somewhat useful*
Margie: oh, no! I seem to have caught a shark
Lori: *FSM touches Ili with his noodly appendage*
Margie: *throws it back*
Lori: wait!
Lori: i wanted that shark
Ili: *uses sacred chicken of the sea like a cuckoo and flies back on board ship*
Margie: Ili, catch the shark!
Margie: Lori wants it
Ili: No ways
Lori: i do
Ili: *pushes Lori overboard*
Ili: Have fun!
Lori: get it, voodoo servant!
Lori: aaaaah
Ili: *throws chum into the water*
Margie: ew, chum
Lori: *swims*
Jasy: Chum is a funny word
Lori: *finds island*
Lori: Rum!
Ili: Island of Dead Kraken?
Lori: now if i can just get a pair of sea turtles!
Ann: And some back hair
Lori: and some rope...
Margie: make a raft!
Lori: *finds spaghetti*
Lori: *fashions rope*
Lori: Come on, sea turtles!
Lori: *reaches boat*
Lori: Now you've had it, Ili!
Ili: Uhh
Ili: it weren't me!
Lori: *wields Albatross*
Ili: *hides*
Ann: The albatross will bring you down!
Ili: *in the one place no one would ever look: behind Rosey*
Lori: ewwww
Lori: i'm not looking there
Margie: while you're there, get some back hair for the raft
Margie: *hands over wax*
Lori: ...ewwwwww
Margie: he won't notice
Lori: i think that's punishment enough for Ili
Rick: ... you all are so weird

Lori: *tosses Ili into the sea*
Lori: and there's no island! I sank it
Lori: with global warming
Ili: AAAAAAAAAAIIIIIEEEEeeeee!!!
Margie: with explosio....never mind
Lori: and explosions
Ili: *tames a sea cow*
Lori: you're underwater
Ili: *rides ze sea cow*
Ili: Uh
Ann: To FREEDOM!
Ili: my sea cow came with REAL SCUBA GEAR!! and SPEAR-GUN FIRING ACTION!
Lori: *butchers sea cow*
Lori: Anyone want seafood burgers?
Ili: hey!!!
Ili: Sea cows are endangered!
Lori: it is on ICU, but stabilized
Ili: *buries sea cow at sea*
Holly: is it a mighty-morphin sea cow?
Ann: Go go power sea cow!
Ili: gaiiiieeetttgggsdas~!--the cry of the sea cow
Holly: i am so behind on this chat

Margie: IT WON'T LET ME SAVE THE CHAT
Margie: WHAT WILL I DO?

Ann: Whoever votes for me gets delicious cookies!
Lori: I will gives you all cookies!
Ann: You lie!
Lori: and legalize all forms of scrabble!
Matt: please Ann, we know what sort of cookies you're peddling...
Rick: including vibrating scrabble?
Lori: if you can do it on a scrabble board, it will be legal
Rick: vibrating scrabble is still illegal in lots of states

Margie: QUESTION SIX: If you could witness one biblical event, which one would you pick?
Lori: my ascendance into heaven to sit at the right hand of God
Margie: Lori is Jesus?
Rick: ... doesn't that explain just about everything?

Margie: lol, QUESTION SEVEN: If you could invent a new kind of birth control, what would it be like? (I'm getting closer to the sex chapter)
Rick: tentacles.
Rick: because really, the second someone saw you had tentacles, they'd run for the hills.
Rick: well... most people.
Ann: It'd be like rainbows and joy
Ann: The birth control
Ann: Not the tentacles
Lori: It would be like chocolate.
Lori: but BETTER!
Rick: and the tentacles could be like a paste-on
Rick: like a patch
Lori: tentacle patch!
Rick: it is a patch-on tentacle
Ann: It'd be very popular in Japan

Matt: aren't they meant to smell like fish already?
Margie: are we really going there?
Matt: no
Lori: matt and rick certainly aren't
Matt: puppies!
Matt: let's describe puppies

Margie: QUESTION THIRTEEN: If you were to guess the most popular sex toy, what would you say?
Margie: well, sally, of course
Jasy: Sally wins hands down...hehe...hands down...I'm so witty...
Rick: what is Sally?
Jasy: Sally is only the most awesome girl you could ever hope to get laid by
Margie: She's also made of plastic
Jasy: That too
Rick: uh... huh...
Margie: and she belongs to Roseidous
Margie: they are best friends
Rick: I see

Lori: i always want there to be a Kappa Kappa Kappa sorority
Lori: i *so* would've joined. just to mess with people
Margie: I'm in the KKK!
Lori: "Join the KKK!"
Margie: I thing our chat was just flagged ;-)
Lori: probably
Lori: god help them

Matt: poll:
Matt: should i cook satay rice
Matt: OR
Matt: cheese noodles
Lori: go with the satan rice
Lori: it's evilly delicious!
Ili: rice rice baby!
Ili: Satay rice rice baby!
Ann: CHEESE NOODLES!
Margie: who mentioned cheese?
Ann: Cheese noodles are next to God
Ann: Well, in His belly
Lori: cheese noodles are the apostles of the Flying Spaghetti Monster

Lori: Holly-luyah!
Lori: (yeah, that's right. I used that pun TWICE!)
Ili: *gasp*
Ili: OH NO YOU DINIT!
Ann: She did!
Margie: i saw it!
Lori: ho ho i di-id!

Ann: The Sacred Chickend of the Sea!
Margie: hee, Chickend
Margie: the typo jar is getting rich tonight!
Margie: the swear word jar, not so much
Margie: quick! someone say something bad!
Lori: FUCK!
Ili: AIIIIIEEEEEE
Ann: Damnit!
Ili: *dies*
Lori: WANK!
Lori: BUGGER!
Lori: SHIT!
Margie: Hell!
Lori: BOLLOCKS!
Ann: Your mom!
Margie: bitch!
Matt: PHOEEY!
Lori: JOHN
Margie: matt, phoeey doesn't work
Matt: your mum doesn't work
Margie: it does by principle
Lori: your mom does it by principle!
Rick: THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID

Rick: fuckkkkkkkkk
Lori: swear jar!

John: Lord, I can't even tell you the last time I did NBOT
Lori: you *did* NBOT?
Rick: John> did NBOT like, "did" NBOT?
John: Oh, you bet I "did"!
Lori: ...i think some of us need to reassess our answers to that question about "number of times we've done it"

Margie: I'm Margie!
John: I'm the Ghost of Christmas Past
Lori: <---Lori
Rick: Ivana
Rick: Ivana Humpalot

John: Poop
John: Does that count?
Margie: no
John: Okay, good
John: I'm keeping these quarters
Margie: but your mom does
John: Yeah, that's what she said!!!

Margie: anyway, QUESTION 23: If you had to choose the most beautiful word in your
language, what would you pick?
Matt: cellar door
Ili: Chocobos
Ann: Stochastic
Lori: Lori
Margie: Hope
Rick: in english?
Rick: maybe Grace
Matt: my favourite word is hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia, but i dunno if
thats the most beautiful
Margie: the fear of long words!

Margie: Umar is never online at night
Lori: that's why i'm his PR person
Lori: i've been authorized to say whatever I want
Margie: poor Umar
Margie: hee! QUESTION 25: If you had to have sex with two people at the same time, who would they be?
Margie: Sam and Dean!
Lori: Ewan McGregor and Sean Maher!
Rick: Dean and Sean Maher!
Lori: oh, and Umar says ditto
Margie: poor Umar
John: Had to, like, I'm being forced to? Someone's standing there saying, "Have sex with any two people in existence at the same time or I'll kill you!!"
Lori: had to like, had to
Lori: *nod*
Matt: will kill you, with hand grenades
Lori: look inside yourself, John. Look for the inner X-y
John: Well, in that case... Natalie Portman and Keira Knightley
John: That's for celebrities, at least
John: Because I kind of have a soft spot for the Cleopatra-Mary Shelley three way

Lori: we're not getting any junger here, Lynne
Matt: except for laursa
Lori: *overuses jung pun*
Matt: Ann's imaginary evil twin
Margie: typo jar!

Margie: QUESTION 27: If you could have prevented any fashion trend from happening, which one would you have stopped?
Jasy: Only one?
Margie: that's what the book says
Jasy: Baggy pants. Nothing says 1920's prison bitch like baggy pants...
Lori: buzzcuts on guys
Rick: *sadface*
Rick: <-- usually has a buzzcut
Lori: sad rick
Lori: it makes you less hot
Lori: you should just know that
Rick: nothing makes me less hot
Jasy: I make many people less hot.
Rick: Jasy, you sure you don't just make them hot in a different way?
Jasy: Why don't you and I find out? I'll bring the speedo...with tassle....

Lori: only Umar is allowed to have a mullet
Lori: for he is Umar
Jasy: Umar has a mullet?
John: I believe it
Jasy: What has Pakistan done to that poor man!

Margie: Oh, Jasy!
Margie: it's time for you to do that thing
Margie: the right people are here now
Margie: you can begin
Margie: *turns on music*
Lori: *turns on strobe lights*
Lori: *puts on bandana*
Margie: someone get a camera ready
Margie: *gets out dollars*
Margie: please let it be the tassel one.....
Lori: not the TASSEL one!
Lori: ...Jasy? Margie?
Lori: ...oh dear
Lori: have they gone off to a separate room?
Lori: quick! someone save Jasy from being ravished by margie!
Margie: I was just checking on the costume selection!
Lori: suuuuure
Jasy: I had a dream about boxes.
Jasy: It was scary.
Margie: strip, dammit!
Margie: *gets out a quarter for the Swear jar*
Jasy: *memory of scary box dream causes Roseidous to become sullen*
Margie: not sullen!
Margie: *turns up Barry White*

Lynne: who are you again sorry
Jasy: Your daddy!
Jasy: No go to your room!
Lynne: unexpected hearing from a friend
Margie: Roseidous
Margie: who won't strip for me :(
Lynne: roseidous do u have a facebook!
Jasy: Why would I put my face in a book? If anything, it'd have my whole body, baby, and it'd be called Playgirl. =oD
Margie: that translated to a no ;-)

Lori: *pokes john*
Lori: participate, damn you!
Lynne: lol!
Matt: *john deflates*
Ann: *ties John to the mast*
John: Whppppppppppppt
Lori: use the albatross!
John: (That's me deflating)
Lori: the chicken of the sea!
Lori: *sacred chicken of the sea
Ann: *duct tapes the Sacred Chicken of the Sea to John*

Lynne: i think i used to have a crush on Jasy because of a picture he put up!
Matt: no, i remember roser being quite attractive too, lynne
Matt: not that i would ever let him know that
Margie: oh, don't inflate the ego
Margie: he had trouble getting his head in the door as it is
Jasy: What's that about being the man of your dreams and how you have a shrine built for me and worship me secretly every day and dream of our glorious honeymoon?
Lynne: shit i cant believe u knew
Margie: SWEAR JAR!
Holly: oh, goodness, you've gone and got him started
Margie: that was your imaginary admirers
Lori: Jasy, what John dreams of is between you and him
Holly: haha
Lynne: hahaha
Lori: we don't need the details. well, umar might
Lori: for his technical draft of...things
Matt: umar wants to play doctor.... with jasy.
Lori: Umar wants to play doctor with all of you

Jasy: Did this story have anything to do with me or my inescapable hotness?
Rick: Jasy, I think every story is in some way about your hotness.
Matt: it was centered around your hotness, jasy
Jasy: Whoo-hoo! As it should be

Holly: why does sim studmuffin hate Sim rosma?
Lori: because she wants to manipulate his chi
Margie: I don't know
Jasy: Because she washed my light speedo with the darks and ruined it!

Lori: can i get a 'amen'?
Margie: amen!
Lori: preach it, sistah!
Rick: the internet is really really great.
Lori: for porn

Jasy: Who got knocked up?
Lori: John
Lori: *nod*
Jasy: Ah, I always figured that'd happen
Jasy: He was always the slutty one.
Lori: he was
Lori: still is, in fact
Lori: look at his SN. it has an S right in it!
Lori: for SLUT!
Jasy: Probably shorthand form of L'Slutynksi!

Rick: Question: if you were stranded on a desert island and all you had was a scooter and a can of whipped cream, how many fish would it take to change a light bulb?
Ann: Rick: Purple
Lori: the lightbulb never changes
Matt: in soviet russia, lightbulb changes you

Margie: QUESTION 20-SOMETHING: If you could own one thing that a friend has, what would it be?
Margie: Umar wants my dome ship
Lori: *nod*
Lori: as his PR person, i must agree
Lori: that is what he wants
Rick: all their base
Ann: I want Margie's car!
Margie: you cannot have my car!
Ann: But I must!
Margie: but you can ride in it!
Ann: That's good enough
Rick: can I say Jasy's body, or is that pumping his ego up too much?
Margie: it's a bit much, but I'll allow it

Rick: mooooooo
Matt: you cow
Rick: I am a cow.

Lori: i'm a Pastafarian myself
Lori: i have been touched by His Noodly Appendage!
Ann: Ewww
Lori: all hail the Flying Spaghetti Monster!
Matt: thats always sounds so wrong
Lori: i have a t-shirt that proclaims it
Rick: your mom touched my noodly appendage
Rick: ew. i just grossed myself out.
Margie: hee
Margie: *points for Rick*
Lori: dude.
Lori: i fear for your noodly appendage
Lori: esp. if my mom had anything to do with it
Rick: "that's funny... where did this sudden case of syphillis come from?"
Lori: ...
Matt: ebay
Lori: Ebay has everything!

Rick: crooks and Jews
Lori: aren't you being redundant, Rick?
Lori: (diiiiiissssssss)
Rick: =-O
Rick: ohhhh you did not go there
Lori: oh, i went there
Lori: bought the t-shirt
Matt: my friend went there, and all i got was a lousy t-shirt
Lori: *nod* how are you liking your t-shirt, Matt?
Matt: its a little itchy

Lori: that's kind of a bad analogy
Lori: unless you're saying Asians do Asia
Rick: in much the same way that Debbie does Dallas
Lori: Margie!
Rick: Margie does Dallas?
Lori: that's between Margie and Dallas

Lori: and how many sonics comics *do* you own?
Ann: 2 hundred million
Rick: 42
John: 23
Rick: 3.14
John: Pfft
Ann: X squared

Matt: bring out the love slaves!
Lori: the Saxons!
Ann: I need a new love slave for my birthday
Lori: *sends you...someone*
Lori: there!
Lori: how do you like him?
Ann: He's a hairy midget
Lori: it was the best i could do. short notice
Ann: I'm going to shorten his title to just "Slave"