Lori: "If you want me to stop talking b/c I'm not making sense, then raise your hand and say 'dammit Professor Ault, you're babbling. Try again."

Lori: "Rip out page 5, everyone."
Lori: "What about the page behind it?"
Lori: "To hell with innocent bystanders, get page 5 out of that textbook."

Margie: what do the equation 2+2=5 and your left foot have in common?
Jasy: My brain.
Margie: no
Margie: they're not right
Margie: ahahahaha!
Jasy: My brain works, too!
Margie: hey, it does!
Jasy: =oP

John: COUGHsexwithstudmuffinCOUGH!!
John: That's gotta screw *anyone* up
John: Ahem, I mean, because of his incredible potency!
John: Er, yeah...
Margie: potency?
Margie: he's potent?

John: Margie, as you turn 22, I want you to remember that just because you're one year over the drinking age doesn't mean you should do it to excess
John: Here to talk to you about that is Dr. Donahoe. Doctor?
Katherine: Dr Donahoe?
John: Doctor.
John: Your presentation, please!

John: Yelling?
John: YELLING!!!
John: YELLING!!!!!!!
John: EEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
John: ... That was a request, right?

Ann: I made brownies!
John: Margie, as you turn 22, I want you to remember that just because you're one year over the brownie eating age doesn't mean you should do it to excess
John: Now, for a presentation on that, Dr. Raley. Doctor?

Margie: John, you should give a lecture
John: Well, fine
John: If you insist
John: Sex is a beautiful gift, given to us by God
Katherine: Yes, Doctor
John: Therefore, we want to share this gift with someone we truly love
Lori: indeed
John: And that is why God gave us the gift of chastity
John: Now, many think that chastity means simply "not having sex", but that's not true!
Lori: John, quit reading from the pamphlet
John: That's abstinence.
Ann: John has a pamphlet?
Lori: several
Lori: *nod*
Ann: Oh dear
John: Abstinence is about what you can't do and can't have, whereas chastity is what you can do and can have... right now

John: And now, for a man who needs no introduction:
Katherine: Dr. Noor?
John: Well, since he didn't get his cue- yes! Dr. Noor!
John: Dr. Noor?
John: Dr. Noor?!
John: Oh my God! What's happened here?!
Ili: *pokes John*
John: What have you done?! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!?!
John: Dr. Noor? DR. NOOR?!?!
John: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
Ili: (he's having a coffee break)

John: ... And now, for a lady who needs no introduction:
Ili: umm... Mizz ....
John: Ahem
John: That's your cue
John: You know who you are!

Margie: "Baggins claim"
Margie: *claims a baggins*

John: ARRRRRRRRR!!!!
Ann: Arrrr!
John: Ha! My pirate noise was larger!

Zach has entered the room.
John: And now, a lecture on animal safety, from Dr. Bloom!
Zach: my computer is whacked
John: Thank you, Dr. Bloom!
Zach: see? mad cow disease is still here
Zach: I told you all to be vegetarians

John: And now, a very special song by Todd
John: ACCOMPANIED BY THE INTERNATIONAL ORCHESTRA!!!!!!!!!
John: BA DA BA DA BA DA BA BA BA BAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!

Katherine: I'm going to become a chocolatarian
Lori: ooo
Margie: yummy
Ann: I will join you
Lori: that sounds good
Katherine: Because it's yummy
Ann: Eat a birthday brownie!
Katherine: *eats a birthday brownie*
Margie: *eats brownie*
Ili: can I have one?
Ann: Of course!
John: I feast on the souls of the innocent ::nods::
John: Oh, like you guys don't!!

Todd: frodo and sam make googley eyes at each other
Todd: in lotr
Margie: lol, they do
John: Though no one seems to be at all interested in the oliphaunt # 3 - Urak Hai #65 relationship
John: I mean, *they* were checking each other out through the WHOLE MOVIE!
John: But no one gives them any credit!
Ili: ....
Lori: ...
Katherine: ...
Ann: Happy Birthday Margie!

Margie: I heard Ann was high while I was gone
Ann: I was!
Ann: I was on drugs!
Margie: I need some drugs
Ili: ................................................DUR GS
Ann: Yes...durgs
Margie: yes, thank you Ili
Ann: But I shared
Ann: I have some durgs left
Ann: *shares*
Ili: *shares durrggss*
Margie: hooray!
Margie: the white powder kind?
Ann: If you crush them they turn into powder
Margie: *crushes drugs*

Todd: mary had a little lamb
Ili: and I ATE IT
Margie: ew!
Ili: *blinks*

John: ... How is it that I've been making less that 30% of the dirty jokes in this chat?!
Margie: you need to do better, John
John: I've grown soft since freshman year, clearly!
Margie: get out the thesaurus or something
Katherine: John's grown soft!
John: And now, a lecture on that by Dr. ... uh... Johnson!
John: Doctor?
Ann: Oreos
Ann: Are good
Ann: *nod*
John: Thank you Dr. Johnson!

Ann: I am Saurann, creator of the One Oreo of Power!
Ann: Bwahahaha!
Lori: i'm Galoridriel!
Lori: whoo!
Ili: yeah well, I POKE YOU
Ili: *pokes*
Ann: Ack!

Margie: If you had to lose one of your five senses, what would you give up?
Margie: taste
Lori: smell
Ili: Smell
Ann: Hmm....
Ann: Taste
John: My ability to see and communicate with the dead

Ann: I answered one!
Margie: yay for Ann!
Ann: Do I get a gold star?
Margie: no
John: How about a green star?
Ili: *gives a bronze star*
Lori: you answered one question, dear
Margie: you can have a bikkit
Ann: Bikkit!

Ann: Colonel Mustard in the kitchen with the balogna!

Margie: If John could say one sentence to Margie before he left, what would it be?
John: "Dude, what HAPPENED to your EAR?!"
Ili: "cooooffffeeeeee:
Margie: "I knoowwww youuuurr seeecreeetttts."
Ann: *does the Fire Dance*
Lori: "I LOOOOOOOOVE Annie!"
Ili: "Weeeeeee aaaarrrrreeeee tttttthhhhhheeeeee hhhhhoooottttt ddddoooogggg mmmmeeeennnnnn!"
Lori: no..wait...

Margie: "If you had to imitate the strangest sound anyone ever made while having sex, what sound would you make?"...um.......yeah
Ann: *blink*
Holly: eep?
Lori: how am i supposed to know what sounds people make while having sex?
Margie: that's what I'm saying, Lori!
Katherine: "ooh, hazelnut brew"
Margie: "I got a letter on the pink tile!"
Lori: LOL!!!
Margie: "extra points!"
Lori: "Oh! Oh! Oh! Double word score!"

Margie: "If you could buy any sex toy for yourself, what would it be, what would you name it, and how much would you pay?
Margie: name it?
Ann: *blink*
Holly: there are boys in the room
Holly: i'm not answering that
Margie: I'll name my toy Teh Hot Stick........that was way too much of an inside joke
Ann: LOL
Margie: Ann got it!
Holly: mr. pointy (from buffy...nevermind)
Katherine: I would buy a wizard's staff
Ann: With a knob on the end?
Lori: i know what i'd do!
Lori: I'd buy a man slave
Margie: Zach's the only guy in here, he doesn't care ;-)
Ann: *sings "A Wizard's Staff has a Knob on the End"*

Margie: "If you came home to find your teenage child in bed with a postal delivery person, what would you say to them?"
Margie: the mailman!
Holly vvvv: Mr. packard!
Katherine: It would depend on whether or not the mailman was Mr. Packard.
Lori: "A postal delivery person? This puts "going postal" in a whole new light!"

Umar: Can online people be intimidating?
Margie: yes, they can be
Margie: *intimidates Umar*
Holly: with rope, margie?
Holly: or a chicken?

Margie: "If you could grab the buttocks (yes, it says buttocks) of a celebrity, whose would you grab?" everyone answer for Zach at the same time, now......
Martin: hee hee
Ann: Orlando!
Margie: Orlando!
Martin: the bloominator
Tina: LIAM NEESON
Tina: oh wait
Tina: Orlando!

Margie: oooookay...."If you had to have oral sex with a celebrity right now, who would you choose?" *have to* *right now*
Ann: Why would I have to?
Margie: I don't know
Zach: don't everybody answer for me at once!

Margie: If you had to involve some type of food in your next sexual experience, what do you want?
TAS: all i brought was cheetos and strip monopoly

Zach: cologne is flammable *sprays*
Lori: so Zach's flaming?
Lori: *is not surprised*
Zach: HAHAHA
Zach: *kicks you*

Margie: "The world is changed"
Margie: "I feel it in the earth"
Zach: i feel you in the earth
Zach: *nod*
Zach: *rumble*
Margie: *feels Zach*
Holly: wow...thats dirty

Lori: oh, Margie, John volunteered to strip for you party
Margie: lol, I'm sure he did
Lori: i convinced him it was a bad idea
Margie: Adam was going to come in naked and run around, but he's still not here
Holly: will he sing the lowly goatherd?

Holly: adam stole my font
Adam: I stole your mom

TAS: 11:30
Adam: 11:17
Holly: 11:19
Adam: 11:18
Margie: 11:20
Juliet: 10:18
Lori: 10:21
Adam: your:mom

Margie: Jasy!
Margie: you declined my invitation!
Margie: *glares*
Jasy: Lol, I got, like four.
Margie: see, everyone was waiting on you to perform the required strip tease dance
Margie: because Adam isn't doing it this year
Lori: and we talked John out of it, thank God
Margie: let's see what color the speedo is for my birthday!
Jasy: Well, I need the right tune to get my groove on to.
Ann: Play that funky music!
Jasy: White boy!

Margie: have you picked a song yet?
Margie: I have to leave soon, so you'd better hurry up
Michelle: i think that Come Sail Away by Styx would be an alright song
Jasy: Has everyone been drinking plenty? I want my dance to appear as good as possible.
Umar: Just go with the Barry White theme.
Margie: I have been drinking
Umar: Wait... he's dancing??
Margie: he is
Margie: he's stripping for me
Jasy: Yes. At least, dancing as defined by me.
Umar: Oh man...
Lori: *hands Umar a blindfold*
Margie: you can close your eyes, Umar

Jasy: Leaving already?
Margie: oh, I'm not leaving until I get a dance
Margie: what do you want us to sing?
Ann: Do do do dodododo
Jasy: *rips off his Insta-Rip clothing all in one pull* I came prepared!
Katherine: gasp!
Ann: do do do do do do do dododo
Margie: *applauds*
Ann: do do do dodododo
Jasy: *shimmies his pelvis*
Margie: Insta-Rip, huh?
Michelle: wow
Jasy: Yeah, (TM)
Ann: do do do do do do DODODODO!
Holly: sounds like it's off the sims
Margie: Ann, he already did it, no more singing is required
Margie: take some pictures
Ann: *takes photos*
Jasy: *small tassle on the front end of the speedo waggles about*
Margie: oh, it's the tassel one
Margie: the gold tassel one? or a new one?
Jasy: *fireworks explode as a flag is lowered*
Ann: There's no end to the usefulness of a well-placed tassel
Michelle: ::gives margie a dollar:: (pay the man)
Margie: oh, he does this for fun, no payment required ;-)
Jasy: This kind of tassle is attached to a golden zipper.
Margie: I'm not unzipping that!
Jasy: Oh, look, body oil!
Zach: *came back in at the wrong part of the conversation*
Jasy: *lathers up* Shiny!
Margie: ooh, shiny object

Jasy: Oh, Margie...I called in a few favors, and brought along a couple friends.
Margie: oh dear
Lori: oh dear
Margie: which friends?
Ann: The homeless ones?
Jasy: May I present...Arogorn, Legalas, and Frudo, pre-oiled for your viewing pleasure.
Margie: *views*
Jasy: (lookalikes, but good ones!)
Margie: oh, in that case, me and Frudo are going in the private room, over there >>>
Margie: I shall see you later!
Lori: I bet now is when Zach claims Legalas
Michelle: can i have the elf?
Lori: ooo, and Michelle beats Zach to it!
Lori: *takes Arogorn*
Ann: *takes photos*
Juliet: Ahh! Turn my back for one second and I miss all the claiming of the strippers...

Jasy: Weevo Splash(TM)! For the man who shaves his weevos!
Margie: what are weevos?
Jasy: "Chuck, being a male dancer is hard, especially when you have to shave your weevos!"
Jasy: "That's why I use...Weevo Splash(TM)!" "Weevo Splash, you sexy mother (beeeep!)!!"

Adam: PUT TEH RING IN TEH MAGMA!
Margie: whoa
Margie: I want some of what Adam's having

Jasy: Wait...is it drafty in here, or is it just this dental floss I'm wearing?

Umar: So, did Jasy strip and did I miss it if so?
Jasy: *strips for Umar*
Jasy: This time, I forgot the speedo... *wink*

Umar: Remember AP classes in high school, Ann?
Ann: Yes
Umar: IB IS THE NEW AP!
Ann: Ack!
Umar: Just like ORANGE IS THE NEW BLUE!

Umar: We had this PE teacher... and she was a man.

Umar: Guidance?
Katherine: Yes, guidance
Umar: And what do they exactly do in 'guidance' ?
Ann: "Don't worry, be happy."
Umar: Isn't that reggae?

Umar: Because this was in middle school, and the kids were all frontin' yo!
Umar: And the teacha wasn't gonna take non o that shizzle

Umar: Here, I'll give it to you:
Umar: Somebody once told me the world was gonna...
Umar: whoops, wrong answer guide...

Ann: There's secret messages in the answers!
Ann: Beede Bad!
Ann: C, Beede bade B
Umar: (I was thinking more da ba de da ba dai from that song, Blue ;-))

Holly has left the room.
Ann: We scared her away
Umar: We can do that sometimes.
Ann: And there's that thing in the corner
Ann: That's kind of scary
Umar: Of the elevator?
Ann: It calls itself "Al"
Ann: Sometimes it sits on the ceiling
Umar: Are you sure it's not just that rabid lab monkey that escaped from the laboratory?
Ann: It could be that
Umar: You know, the one they did heroin tests on all the time?
Ann: It does tend to foam when it's exicted
Umar: Hmm... that can't be good.
Umar: The Elevator: A Microbiologist's treasure trove.
Ann: So that's why those guys in the lab coats were hanging around in there!
Umar: Yeah, with all the things that... happen... ferment... are excreted... in an elevator, those guys would be busy for years.

Umar: "But now I've covered my rear with an iron plate, so NO biting, NO falling, NO breaking!"
Umar: "Ahahahaha! What will you do now? What will you do NOW??"
Katherine: ...
Umar: "Kick your butt?"
Katherine: Umar's going to be taken away by the MIWC

Umar: So, skip to next episode, he has perfected his plan
Umar: He now wears a metal butt-plate

Umar: "Where did all the ducks go?" Holden asked.
Umar: "Away" MC said sagely.

Umar: The missing link!
Umar: The sea is quite limp when it's calm, so you *could* say that:
Umar: limp = sea
Umar: therefore: seabikkit = limpbikkit

Umar: See, I had this DVD player... but then the leperchaun told me to burn things
Umar: Oh dear... *hangs head in shame as he adds self to MIWC hit list*

Umar: "Doth the wild ass bray when he hath grass? or loweth the ox over his fodder?
Umar: See, I have no idea what that means but it sounds funny as hell
Ann: I know what it means!
Ann: You can't complain with your mouth full
Ann: So always bring cookies
Umar: Ahhh
Umar: I couldn't understand the context of "loweth" and "over"
Ann: That's why I'm here!
Ann: Super English Major!
Umar: Doesn't change the fact that it sounds funny as hell. *nods*
Umar: I mean, they could have used 'donkey' instead of 'wild ass'

Umar: Great works of art are oft done when one cannot sleep and is basking in their own deprived state
Umar: That didn't make any sense, but I like to think it did

Umar: So I guess the point of all this is that I'm like a remote control car

Umar: 2004, huh?
Umar: Time flies.
Umar: Although sometimes it flies like an eagle, other times like a chicken.
Ann: An old chicken
Umar: With malformed wings.
Ann: And one leg
Umar: Poor chicken...
Ann: It was supposed to be dinner one night
Ann: But it got away

Umar: You can also cut your hair off *nods*
Umar: Want me to show you?
Ann: Sure!
Umar: You do realize I was talking about you?
Ann: I assumed you were talking about a generalized you
Ann: And not my personal hair
Umar: *grabs scissors, machine, and razor*
Ann: Which should not be cut off in the winter
Ann: Because there's snow and stuff
Umar: Don't worry, by the time I'm done, you'll look like that chick out of Aliens 3!
Ann: That's what I always wanted!
Umar: *was not expecting this response*

Margie: I'll be back
Lori: hurry!
Umar: Post it!
Ann: Run swiftly, young Margie!
Umar: Well, as soon as you get back.
Umar: Godspeed!
Lori: Run, Margie, RUN!
Margie has left the room.
Lori: there she goes!
Ann: And she's off!
Lori: See Margie run!
Lori: Run, Margie, run!
Ann: There she goes down the home stretch!
Lori: Go, Margie, go!
Lori: Margie runs fast.
Lori: Look at Margie go!
Umar has left the room.
Lori: See Umar leave!
Lori: Umar has left us!
Ann: There he goes down the home stretch!
Ann: He and Margie are neck and neck!

Umar: A super chi-powered man and an invisible woman? How much kinkier do you need to get??
Umar: Therefore, I propose we ban The Post from all 49 states except for Tennessee.
Lori: ...why Tennessee?
Umar: Tennessee just because.

Umar: weasel headers is where the action is

Umar: I know one!
Umar: COWS
Umar: C is for Cows
Umar: O is for cOws
Umar: W is for coWs
Holly: is it just me, or has umar gone off the deep end today?
Umar: S is for cowS
Ann: He's a little sleep deprived
Umar: Unfortunate side-effect, really.

Umar: Because you're out of the loop?
Umar: Although I could never really figure out what 'the loop' was or if I was ever 'in' it....
Lori: the Fruit Loop
Ann: The Inner Circle is just a myth!
Umar: the Fruit Loop, eh? Which one? The yellow one? Because lemon is very tasty...

Margie: *is back*
Lori: Mwahahahahahahahahahahah!
Umar: She's back.
Margie: ahahahahahahahaha!
Umar: And now she shall post!
Umar: Post Margie, Post!
Katherine: ahahahahahaha
Margie: I have to edit it slightly because many things have changed since I wrote it ;-)
Umar: Edit Margie, Edit!
Lori: Edit, Margie, edit!

Katherine: and I don't really like peanuts
Katherine: OTHER kinds of nuts don't PERMEATE the entire can with their nasty, nasty taste!
Katherine: OTHER nuts can SHARE the can
Katherine: BUT NOT PEANUTS! WHY IS THAT?!?!
Umar: See, if you said that about the plasma protien Albumin, which permeates your blood, you'd be swelling up due to all the fluid leaving your vessels and entering your interstitial spaces.
Lori: *blinks*
Lori: eeeee! it's Dr. Noor!
Umar: Much as peanuts, the smaller nut, permiate around the larger nuts such as the walnut.
Lori: *hides*
Katherine: That's why nuts are salted.
Umar: That... just didn't sound right.
Katherine: to keep the fluid from swelling and stuff.
Umar: That sounded worse, Kat.

Umar: Because supposedly, the dance floor is on the second deck... yet the party can be accessed through a glass sliding door leading opening into the upper deck
Ann: It goes through both legs of the Trousers of Time!
Lori: no!
Margie: it does!
Lori: that's a separte pool!
Margie: *gives Ann points for reference*
Lori: a hidden area!
Ann: A hidden area accessed only when you defeat both bosses and at least three levels!

Umar: You're cursed.
Umar: By that witch.
Ann: Yeah, that one
Lori: witch?
Umar: The Sand Witch
Lori: ...the Sand Witch?
Lori: oh dear.
Lori: that was just...lame.
Ann: Yep
Lori: beyond belief.
Umar: That was the point *nods*
Lori: wow. I mean, that was...painful
Lori: batman-esque
Umar: Then I have served my purpose *nods sagely*

Ili: two words.
Ili: HIII
Margie: Yaaaa

Ili: MYG RULES!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ili: sorry. I had a twitch

John: TROGDOOOOOR!!!
Holly: burninating the peasants
John: That's all I have to say
Holly: *Trogdor burninates John*
Margie: thanks, John

John: Yes, Pakistan is truly a party town

Margie: "If you had to guess which person, among everyone with you, is the kinkiest in private, who would it be?"
Lori: *ponders*
Margie: *looks at list*
Margie: I'll go with John
John: Tina ::Nods::
Lori: Margie
Margie: so Ann picks Lori and Tina picks Ann
Margie: we got it covered ;-)
John: Umarr!
Lori: it's Umar!
Margie: it is!
Ann: With two Rs!
John: I bet he's kinky like a fox!!
Ann: Doubly kinky!
Lori: kinky like inky w/ a k!

Margie: "If you could have one thing installed by your bed, what would it be?"
Margie: a refrigerator
Lori: coffee maker
Ann: A lamp
John: A computer
Ann: Wait...an escalator

Margie: "If you wanted to nonverbally signal to your lover in public that you wanted to make love, how would you do it?"
Lori: snap my fingers.
Lori: that should work.
Ann: A paper airplane!
John: I'd bust a move
Margie: Hey, Ann? *does the hokey pokey*
Lori: hokey pokey, huh?
Ann: That's what it's all about!

Margie: Umar, we're still here!
Ili: STAY AWAY FROM ME YOU LAZY EYED PSYCHO!
Ili: *hides behind roses*
Margie: who are you hiding from?
Umar: Hmm... since when did I become a 'lazy eyed psycho' ?
Ili: I'm not telling
Ili: in case they attack
Ili: O.o
Margie: oh
Ili: o.O
Ili: *hysterical laughter* I seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee you!

Adam: and now I think I'm going to go swimming
Margie: have fun!
Adam: it's cold
Adam: I might not survive
Adam: so before I go, I should say just one thing...
Adam: great googly moogly
Margie: right
Margie: we shall put that on your tombstone if you don't return