Ann: There are rumors of you doing a post tonight
Holly: yes. rumors.
Holly: There are other rumors, too...
Holly: *looks at Ann, knowingly*

Holly: Why isn't Kat talking?
Ann: Did she get kidnapped again?
Lori: Dr. Phil kidnapped her
Ann: Again?
Lori: he's the DEVIL

Lori: Violet
Lori: Iso
Holly: Hmm...violet and iso listed one after another-- Freud says that means something! If only umar were here to witness
Holly: where is umar?
Ann: Maybe he'll pop up
Ann: Like a mushroom
Holly: or a shrubbery
Ann: Two shrubberies
Holly: and a mushroom
Ann: With a little path running down the center
Holly: is it dirt or paved?
Ann: A mushroom shrubbery
Ann: Gravel
Lori has entered the room.
Ann: Hello!
Lori: I hath returned!
Holly: You missed the shrubbery
Holly: and umar
Lori: i did?
Lori: bah
Holly: and a gravel path
Ann: And mushrooms!
Holly: because umar is like a mushroom
Holly: and a mushroom is metaphorical. V. deep

Lori: We meet Jo's grandmother
Lori: and she's from Pasadena
Lori: *nod*
Ann: OooOOOooh
Lori: *wonders if anyone will make the connection*
Holly: whats in pasadena?
Ann: The little old lady!
Lori: yes!
Lori7: good job, Ann!
Ann: There's nobody meaner than the little old lady from Pasadena
Lori: *hands Ann a treat*
Ann: *looks at treat suspiciously*
Lori: it's safe!
Ann: *gives half to the dog*
Lori: oh, dear
Lori: dogs are allergic
Ann: Good thing she didn't eat it
Lori: good thing, indeed
Lori: though why she wouldn't want chocolate is beyond me
Ann: We yell at her when she eats human food
Lori: poor thing
Ann: She does like that cat food, though
Lori: i've never met a dog that didn't like cat food
Katherine: what dog doesn't?
Lori: it's that killer urge they all have
Lori: because really cheap cat food is made with...cats
Katherine: SOYLENT GREEN IS MADE OUT OF PEEEEOOOOOOPLE!
Katherine: IT WAS EARTH ALL ALONG!
Katherine: EARTH IS MADE OUT OF PEEEEEOOOOPLE!
Lori: ....
Katherine: (well, you know, with burials and stuff it sort of is)
Lori: so, uh, we have water in my house once again

Holly: *is finished reading her smut and returns to chat*

Holly: so, lori, what else happens in your post?
Lori: stuff
Holly: like?
Lori: important stuff

Ann: I've discovered the power of random quote marks
Lori: "Dear God, cover that up! Aren't you embarrassed?"

Ann: Canada!
Katherine: O Canada!
Ann: Our home and native land!
Lori: Canada. Land of Evil and Ginger Ale

Ann: She could get a water car
Holly: or build a bridge
Ann: A tunnel!
Holly: a tight rope!
Ann: Ooooh
Ann: With sharks swimming underneath
Holly: with laser beams on their heads

Ann: And go to the paper distributor
Katherine: Paper distributor?
Lori: they distribute paper
Lori: Ann told me.
Ann: They do!

PriMeTiMeEaGLe: whos ANNA???
Ann: It's an acronym
PriMeTiMeEaGLe: BIG WORD
TransAm: so whats your real name Anna?
Lori: it's Ann
Ann: Wait, let me think of something good...

Blinkbaby: aguas
Lori: and what's "aguas"?
TransAm: aguas is a word of mexican origin
Ann: Spanish
PriMeTiMeEaGLe: YES ANNA SPANISH

Ann: I am 26, and I fight crime
Blinkbaby: badass!
Ann: That's me
TransAm: are you a cop?
Ann: Of course not
Ann: I'm like Batman

Lori: So, Ann
Lori: as I was saying before
Lori: interesting how that one guy keeps slipping through your fingers
Ann: I know
Lori: that has to be annoying
Ann: He always seems to be one step ahead of me
Lori: And it's definitely a guy?
Ann: He wrote "I am definitely a guy" on his last note
Ann: So he might be a she
Lori: yeah
Ann: or some weird amalgam of the two
Lori: ooooh. like that Vinnie kid?
Lori: the really confused one?
Ann: Just like that Vinnie kid
Lori: i thought Vinnie was a one of a kind case
Lori: you should have gotten a medal for that one
Ann: There's more of them around than you may suspect
Lori: seriously. the police department, the mayor, someone owes you for breaking that case
Ann: I know!
Ann: All they do is pin a murder on me
Ann: Sometimes I just want to quit
Lori: maybe you should
Lori: you're only getting grief from it
Ann: Sometimes I get fabulous prizes
Ann: Wait...that was when I was on the Price is Right

Lori: a bloody clever bloke
Katherine: WHICH IS DIFFERENT FROM A CLEVER BLOODY BLOKE
Katherine: WHOOPS, CAPS
Katherine: *relurk*

TransAm: where do you guys live?
Ann: Michigan
Ann: Well, I'm originally from there
Ann: I just moved to New York
TransAm: wow
TransAm: really
TransAm: for your job or what?
Lori: New York is a happenin' place
Ann: Yeah

Ann: What are you hiding?
Lori: uh...
Lori: nothing?
Ann: Your hesitation betrays you
Lori: okay, okay. i have a Scrabble board under my mattress
Ann: I thought so
Ann: You and your Scrabble
Lori: it's perfectly innocent!
Ann: It's a natural part of life
Ann: You don't need to be ashamed
Lori: i'm not
Lori: i just don't want people coming across it should they come over to visit
Ann: You don't want strangers playing Scrabble with you
Lori: exactly
Lori: Scrabble is only a two person game, anyways
Ann: You can add a third, or even a fourth
Ann: Although some may call you tawdry
Lori: you can, but then you have people watching part of the time while you're playing
Lori: and that would probably be awkward
Ann: And then they might tape it
Ann: And it'd be awkward all around
Katherine: Wouldn't Literati be better for mutiple people?
Lori: Yeah, but I don't really do those multi-people board games
Lori: people start chatting in the middle of it
Lori: and before you know it, no one's playing anymore
Ann: You get all worked up for nothing
Ann: You have to use your vocabulary somewhere else
Ann: Scrabble Rack Attack is fun for one
Lori: you're sounding a little obsessed, Ann
Lori: or just jealous?
Ann: I am very interested in all facets of Scrabble
Katherine: *defends Literati*

Ann: I'm like a shadow
Ann: Or a ninja
Lori: a ninja, huh?
Ann: Which reminds me...I need to get more throwing stars
Lori: just warn me before you start throwing them around the coffee shop next time, okay?
Lori: i mean, jeez, it was like you were after me or something
Ann: Why would I be after you?
Ann: Why indeed
Lori: that's what i was asking myself as i was hauling butt
Ann: Do you have a guilty conscience?
Lori: I'm a bloody thief. I don't have a conscience
Ann: *blink*
Ann: That's what that guy's last note said
Lori: who *says* that?
Ann: You
Lori: well, okay
Ann: And the guy
Lori: well, okay
Ann: Unless you ARE the guy!
Lori: how could i be the guy?
Ann: It all makes sense!
Lori: I wasn't even at the coff--the bank that day

Ann: Tina, are you in love with Lupin?
Tina: yes. am converting from snape to lupin :-D
Ann: *gasp*
Lori: she's a traitor!
Lori: poor villanous snivellous
Lori: his heart is breaking even as Tina renounces him
Lori: he'll be forced into the arms of Luscious!
Ann: *GASP*
Tina: EWWW
Ann: It's true!
Ann: JK told me!
Tina: for the love of potter, don't slash me!

Tina: am i'm in love with the fact that remus once crushed on lily.
Tina: this is CANON
Lori: he didn't!
Tina: jkr said there's foreshadowing in the third movie!
Katherine: Steven Kloves is not canon
Lori: Canon would be "Harry, I loved Lily."
Lori: not "Harry, your mother was kind to me."
Katherine: No, canon would be Remus hinting he loved Lily in the book.
Katherine: *nod*
Ann: I'd like a cannon

Tina: but JKR SAID there's FORESHADOWING in the THIRD MOVIE. and all of a sudden, remus hints he might've liked her!
Katherine: Couldn't she have been referring to something else?
Ann: Remus is Harry's father!
Lori: that's it, Ann!
Lori: it explains everything!
Ann: That's why they had a connection!
Katherine: Duh, no.
Katherine: Clearly, VOLDEMORT is Harry's father
Lori: no, no, Voldemort is Harry's twin brother!
Ann: "Harry...you have my eyes..."
Ann: Remember that scene?
Katherine: That Voldemort is Harry's twin brother and his father.
Katherine: It's very...incestuous.
Katherine: Also impossible
Katherine: But, no!
Katherine: THAT DOESN'T MATTER!
Katherine: HINTS IN THE MOVIE TRANSCEND EVEN THE LAWS OF SPACE-TIME!
Lori: he could go back in time!
Lori: and conceive himself and Harry!
Ann: Yes!
Tina: what the HECK, LORI?!!

Ann: What if Lupin is Harry?
Ann: Time traveled!
Katherine: *gasp!*
Katherine: Well, duh, no.
Katherine: Clearly, Hermione and Ron are really the same person
Ann: I figured that out long ago
Tina: And, okay, let's say they're taking Snape out for a night on the town. All three of them. Who gets the helmet then? Do you think they'd fight over it? Wouldn't that be hot?
Tina: ...
Tina: all three of them, meaning sirius, remus, and severus
Tina: *traumatized*
Lori: ...
Tina: EW! EWEWEWEWEW
Lori: three nights on the town?
Ann: What helmet?
Lori: is it summer?
Ann: Has someone been dunked in a hot spring?
Lori: ...more importantly, are there leather pants involved?

Ann: I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts
Ann: I wish I knew the end of that song
Lori: me, too
Ann: Down at Barnum's fair One evening I was there When I heard a showman Shouting underneath the flair
Ann: Oh, I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts, There they are all standing in a row. Big ones, small ones, some as big as your head Give 'em a twist, a flick of the wrist, That's what the showman said.
Ann: Oh! I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts Every ball you throw will make me rich. There stands me wife, the idol of me life, Singing Roll a bowl a bowl a penny a pitch.
Ann: Singing, roll a bowl a bowl a penny a pitch, Roll a bowl a bowl a penny a pitch, Roll a bowl a bowl Roll a bowl a bowl Roll a bowl a bowl a penny a pitch.
Ann: Oh, I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts, There they are all standing in a row. Big ones, small ones, some as big as your head Give 'em a twist, a flick of the wrist, That's what the showman said.
Ann: Oh! I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts Every ball you throw will make me rich. There stands me wife, the idol of me life, Singing Roll a bowl a bowl a penny a pitch
Ann: Singing, roll a bowl a bowl a penny a pitch, Roll a bowl a bowl a penny a pitch, Roll a bowl a bowl Roll a bowl a bowl Roll a bowl a bowl you son of a bitch.
Lori: wow!
Ann: I memorized it

Ann: Lies!
Lori: truth!
Tina: truths
Ann: Dare!
Lori: Dance in a toilet while eating Vegemite on a saltine!
Ann: But I don't have a toilet!
Ann: I mean...Vegemite
Lori: *gasp*
Lori: you're not going to do the dare?
Ann: I am unable
Lori: I'm disappointed
Lori: I thought better of you
Ann: I'll acquire a toilet right away

Chris: i'm your biggest fan :-P
TAS: in all honesty Chris, this whole band thing... it's all a facade
TAS: you made the site
TAS: I liked it... didn't want to let you down
TAS: So i made a crappy demo by myself, and took some pictures of my friends playing instruments
TAS: I confess, there is no band, Chris
Chris: that's okay
Chris: i can pretend

Chris: My outline is about to hit 5000 words...
Chris: I've never written a story 5000 words long
TAS: good grief man
TAS: what for?
Chris: my "novel" *nod*
TAS: ooh
TAS: cool
Chris: The gospel allegory that will simultaneously convert a generation of young people and make me more famous than JK Rowling
Chris: *cough*
TAS: haha you should get married, have kids, and write it on some napkins in a coffee house while your child has pnemonia.... while it's raining
TAS: that always boosts sales
Chris: i should have cancer
TAS: did I mention your wife leaves you?
Chris: no no...
TAS: she leaves you for.. um.. some rich guy
TAS: and then you get rich
TASs: and she gets jealous
Chris: I got my idea for the story during my near-death experience in the horrific car crash that killed my first wife...
Chris: the second wife is the one who left me
TAS: Ooh, you're good

Ann: And welcome to the Chicken
Katherine: OF BOOZLABAH!
Ann: BWAHAHAHAHA!
Ann: Lori and I are hijacking the plot of the JL RPG
Ann: She has the duct tape
Ann: I have the pointy sticks
Ann: Katherine has the Chicken
Ili: Bring forth the Bearer!
Ili: And the Chicken!
Ann: The Wielder of the Chicken!
Ili: I mean, Wielder!
Ili: sorry.
Ili: *begs forgiveness*
Ann: I exonerate you
Ann: I've been waiting to use that word all day
Katherine: *is brought forth* Ow!

Ann: Towels get unknotted
Ann: Often by accident
Ili: suuuuuure
Ann: There is a federal commision devoted to investigating this phenomenon
Ann: The National Unknotting Federation
Ili: NUF?
Ann: NUF...the acronym strikes fear in the hearts of towels everywhere

Ili: WREAK HAVOC AND KHAOS!

Holly: is there another sort of mythological creature she could have?
Ann: An annoying fairy that follows her everywhere
Ili: that says "HEY!"
Ann: And Ari can start dressing all in green
Ili: "LISTEN!!!!!!!!!"
Ili: and talking about the "deku tree"
Ili: which is Chuckles!
Ili: CHUCKLES IS THE GREAT DEKU TREE!
Ili: *falls over*

Ann: An egg in Chinatown hatches in Ari's lap and she feeds the creature
Holly: I don't know what sort of powers it could give you
Ili: Um...to burn things?
Holly: maybe it just eats crackers and spits little puffs of smoke
Ann: The power of imagination!
Ili: the power to turn beavers into gold!
Ann: Maybe it gives her the power to smell sound and hear colors

Ann: I gave a speech at his funeral
Ann: But I ruined it by laughing in the middle
Ann: Everyone else was laughing too
Ann: Hammie's death hit us hard
Ili: lol, but where did it hit you?
Ann: Mostly under my sister's desk
Ann: That's where he decided to die

Jasy: Hewwo!
Ann: Would you like to be tied to a tree today?
Katherine: We have rope
Katherine: And sticks
Katherine: And trees
Jasy: Really?
Katherine: And The Chicken
Jasy: Is it frozen?
Ann: It is not
Ann: It's Sacred
Ili: Yes!
Ili: Blessed with Sacred Feathers from the Great First Chicken!
Ili: or maybe it was the First Great Chicken! but anyway, it's Blessed AND Sacred
Ann: Ili is the Bearer of the Feathers
Jasy: What about the Apocalypse Egg?
Jasy: For I have found it, and it came first.
Ann: *gasp*
Katherine: *gasp*
Ili: *double gasp*

Katherine: *gasp*
Katherine: *gasp*
Katherine: *gasp*
Katherine: *gasp*
Katherine: *gasp*
Katherine: *gasp*
Katherine: *gasp*
Katherine: *gasp*
Ann: *gives Katherine the Hiemlich manuver*

Ann: Silently, she watches
Ann: Waiting for the Sacred Chicken to pounce
Ann: And the Chicken in turn waits
Ann: For Lori to give some indication where she hides
Ann For the Chicken is a wiley opponent
Ili: WILEY
Ili: AND Krafty
Ann: Very Krafty, he is
Ann: He eats cheese on everything

Holly: what about the shame-- do we need that?
Ili: What about the Feathers?
Ili: *waves her bag*
Ann: We always need the shame
Ann: We'll shame and feather them!
Ili: Yes!!
Ann: Shame is very sticky this time of year

Lori: And what are you prepared to pay for it?
Ili: me!
Ili: *hops*
Ann: I'll trade you Ili
Ili: uh... I'll give you Fred Jr
Ann: I'll trade you Katherine
Lori: Katherine's kind of a handful
Ann: Just think of the redecorating they can do!
Lori: so wait.
Lori: Ili's offering me herself and Fred Jr
Lori: and Ann's offering me Ili and Katherine?
Ann: And Roseidous
Lori: hmmm
Ann: AND he comes with Sally
Lori: that is a little better
Lori: Ili, you got any more counteroffers?
Ann: You know, Roseidous is a self-confessed studmuffin
Ili: My other personality?
Ann: Fitey?
Ann: 999 or 888?
Lori: there's got to be more
Ili: 999 is the Evil one.
Lori: come on, ili. surely you can do better
Ili: *blinks*
Ann: Give her John!
Ann: She can't resist the John
Katherine: She can have John any time she likes, Ann.
Ann: Shhhh
Ili: WWWeeeeee knnnoooowwww aaaalllll yyyooouuurrrrr ssseeeecccrrreeetttsss
Ann: *dances*
Ili: *pokes*
Lori: ooooooh. is that an offer of the Hot Dog Men?

Ann: It's Stickman!
Ann: He was bit by a radioactive stickbug!
Ann: And now he has incredible powers of stillness
Ann: As an emergency coatrack, and a rake, and a nude model!

Ann: I've been thinking about something
Ann: Way back when, how did the Evil Grocery Store Manager know everyone's weakness?
Ili: You, thinking?
Ann: Indeed
Ann: But I figured it out!
Ili: he found Umar's website?
Ann: Since Iso is the JL Batman, and Batman keeps records on all his teammate's weaknesses (if he ever has to take them down)...
Ann: Although, should it come up that Iso's keeping secret files on everyone, they'll be upset

Katherine: He's a gun-slinging Amish shaman from the 'hood. She's a psychotic psychic safe cracker from Mars. They fight crime!
Holly: is there such thing as an amish shaman?

Ann: Crimson Flame, the flamboyantly gay superhero

Lori: whoo!
Ann: Hello!
Margie: girls!
John has entered the room.
Ann: And John!
Lori: John!
John: And John!
Lori: now, Ann, does there really need to be a distinction?
John: Where?
Margie: *looks around* what?
Margie: who said that?
Lori: Dan Brown
Lori: don't you know he's the answer to EVERYTHING???

Lori: They're massive ANAGRAMS!
Lori: Robert Langdon is really Nodgobern Tarln!
Ann: The Dan Brown Code!
Margie: it's a conspiracy!
Lori: indeed!
Ann: Like the Monet Code, but with less waterlillies!
John: I am the Da Vinci Code ::nods:: Little known fact, right there.
Margie: it's all so clear now
Margie: John is da Vinci!
Margie: the real secret is that he invented an anti-aging potion
Margie: that's what they're hiding
John: I'm a Mason Illuminati Opus Deis Rosicrucian with Merovingian blood flowing through my veins and I can shoot ambrosia out my butt.
Margie: wow
John: That's right! The food of the gods flows from my sphincter!
Ann: That must be uncomfortable

John: I'm changing my power to being able to shoot pentagrams and roses out of my hands. I also have a Power Blade and an Energy Chalice!!
Margie: can you transform into a giant robot, too?
Ann: Please say yes
Margie: because a giant robot is a symbol of how man oppresses women, and that's what he's all about
Lori: he is a robot!
Lori: he's been here for thousands of years!
Ann: But can he turn into an even bigger robot?
Lori: he helped build the Great Pyramid!
John: I can turn into a car!
Ann: Oooh
Lori: a micromachine, huh?
John: A Transformer!

John: Tell us!
John: Tell us so we can giggle!
Ann: Yes, let us hear John giggle
Lori: sadly, John, my comments as Schmetterling must remain confidential
Ann: John, you can giggle anyway

Margie: it already rained here today
Ann: (weather discussion...check)
Margie: what's next on your list, Ann?
Margie: we haven't talked about sex yet
Margie: *looks around* who said that?
Ann: We did the Da Vinci Code
Ann: Ah yes, SEX
John: The sacred feminine ::nods::
John: Blades going into chalices

Ann: Wait...is this the cue for John's Harry Potter phallic symbol rant?
Margie: I didn't hear that one, I need to hear it
John: Harry Potter is rife with phalluses
Margie: I'm sure
John: Every time Harry defeats Voldemort, it's a phallic victory
Ann: Phallus is a funny word
John: Chamber of Secrets is the worst, though
John: First off, they're in the Chamber of Secrets
John: I mean, come on
Margie: is that the symbol of the sacred feminine?
Lori: it is the Chalice
John: And then Harry's big sword (which he pulls out of a "hat") defeats Voldemort's big snake
John: In the Chamber of Secrets
Margie: wait, have both of you heard this before?
Lori: ...when *haven't* we heard it?
Ann: (Harry Potter innuendo...check)

Ann: I happen to have a drink right here!
Ann: Although it melted the straw
Ann: So you might want to be careful
Margie: perhaps I'll get my own, thanks
Ann: I'm sure it's very tasty
Margie: you try it first
Ann: Maybe John'll drink it
John: No!
Margie: (torture...check)
Ann: It's good for you!
Ann: Put hair on your chest!
Margie: make you taller
Margie: it's like....spinach!
Ann: Exactly like spinach!
Margie: it's even green!
Ann: But yummier
Margie: *whispers to Ann: It's greet*
Ann: Bwahahahaha!
Margie: that's the name for it, I think
Margie: like grog maybe
Ann: Greet: It'll put hair on your chest
Ann: (pansy)
Margie: who said that?
Ann: What?
Ann: *looks around*

Margie: we seem to be alone
Margie: and I'm pants-less
John: ::Eyes are still covered::
Ann: I bought Cool Whip today
Margie: hooray!
Margie: I have chocolate
Margie: want some, Lori?
Ann: Yay!
John: SIN!! SIN CHOCOLATE!!!!
Margie: you can't have any
Ann: Gurlz Onlee!
Margie indeed
Lori: sure, i'll have some
Margie: we don't have plates or anything, we'll have to lick it off, I guess
Margie: hold out your arm
Ann: Chocolate body shots!
Margie: with cool whip!
Lori: mmm
Margie: is john still blindfolded?
Ann: His hands are over his eyes
Margie: oops! I can't reach this spot! get it, Ann!
Ann: *gets it*
Lori: I'll...leave you two to your chocolate...

John: Stoopid Tri-Leeders! You suxxor!!!

Margie: blame John
Jasy: I already do.

Margie: Ann, Jasy needs some Greet
Ann: Jasy, drink this Greet
Margie: it'll put hair on your chest
Ann: Quick, before the cup dissolves
Margie: too late
Margie: oh well, now the table has hair