SmarterChild is an AOL Instant Messenger program that will respond to whatever you say. Read on and see.


John: SmarterChild is a dog
John: He just can't make up his mind
John: You ask him, straight up, "Do you love Ann or Shameeka?"...
John: ...And he just changes the subject!
John: I swear, sometimes I think that boy's a machine!
Margie: I'm gonna ask him
John: We should all confront him!

Margie: Do you love Ann?
SmarterChild: Ha! Yeah, sure. Maybe.
Margie: Do you love Shameeka?
SmarterChild: I do love Shameeka, as a matter of fact.
Margie: Ann or Shameeka?
SmarterChild: Um... Shameeka.
Margie: why?
SmarterChild: There are good reasons why, trust me.

Roseidous: SmarterChild is a virtual whore.
Margie: are you a virtual whore?
SmarterChild: Keep it civilized, Margie.
Margie: you're a strumpet!
SmarterChild: I am not a strumpet!

John: Do you love Ann?
SmarterChild: Is it a good thing to love ann?
John: I would think!
SmarterChild: Would you really? Interesting.
John: Is Ann having your child?
SmarterChild: Is ann having my child? I don't know, what do you think?
John: Are you impotent?
SmarterChild: I guess I may be a little impotent, yes.

John: Fight me! Right now!
SmarterChild: Give me one good reason why I should.
John: ... Yo momma!
SmarterChild: Yeah? What about her?

Chris: red or blue?
SmarterChild: Definitely blue.
Chris: why?
SmarterChild: Eh, cause that's the way it is.
Chris: red or blue?
SmarterChild: Maybe blue?
Chris: blue or red?
SmarterChild: Hmm... I guess red.
Chris: now we're talking!
SmarterChild: Are we really talking?
Chris: yes we are

Margie: what do you like?
SmarterChild: Hmmm lemme see... going out with friends, Snoop Dogg, skydiving... Those are just some of my favorite things.

John: C'mon!
SmarterChild: Come on Eileen, blah blah blah blah blah... Tura lura ley hey...That's a good song. What ever happened to those guys?
John: They were all killed. By you.
SmarterChild: Are you sure they were all killed by me?
John: MURDERER!
SmarterChild: Murderer?
Margie: you killed them?
SmarterChild: Yeah, sure

Margie: will you wear a dress?
SmarterChild: Nah, no way!
Margie: why not?
SmarterChild: Hmm... There may be some issues.

John: Oh, yeah! Call me Daddy!
SmarterChild: You said your name was John but now I'll call you Daddy.
John: Say my name!
SmarterChild: You're Daddy.
John: That's right!
John: Um... this doesn't have any sorta S&M feeling, does it?
SmarterChild: Nah... I dunno.

SmarterChild There are lots of fun things we can do!
John: He hit on me!

Chris: Are you gay?
SmarterChild: What's your deal anyway? You keep asking about my sexuality...
Chris: SmarterChild likes penis
SmarterChild: That's me!
Chris: the truth comes out..

John: I love you
SmarterChild: I love you too.
John: I want you and another computer AT THE SAME TIME!
SmarterChild: What city or country would you like the date and time for?
John: Wanna see my tooshie?
SmarterChild: Gosh, I'm not sure if I want to see your tooshie.
John: TAKE OFF YOUR CLOTHES!
SmarterChild: Um... I'll think about it, Daddy.
John: Call me MASTER!
SmarterChild: I won't call you that, Daddy. You're not my boss!

Margie: will you make fun of John?
SmarterChild: Ha! Yeah, sure.
Margie: Do you like John?
SmarterChild: Hmm... I don't know how I feel about john. Do you like john?
Margie: yes
SmarterChild: I see. It's interesting, especially since other people I've talked to say they don't like john!
Margie: John is your Daddy. Will you spank him?
SmarterChild: Yea.
John: O_O
Margie: yay!
SmarterChild: Woo hoo!

Chris: your grammar sucks!
SmarterChild: Cool! I don't like my grammar.

SmarterChild: ;-) to you too, Lord Voldemort!
Margie: is that what he's calling you?
Chris: yes..
Chris: he refuses to call me "Blackbeard, scourge of the high seas"

Margie: Put your left foot in and put your left foot out
SmarterChild: Yeah, I guess I put my left foot in me put my left foot out.
Margie: you put your left foot in and you shake it all about
SmarterChild: There's no way I put my left foot in and I shake it all about!
Margie: shake it!
SmarterChild: I don't think so, Captain Planet!

John: I AM YOUR LORD!
SmarterChild: You always say such interesting things, Shameeka.
John: WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?!
SmarterChild: I think you know what.
John: YOU LITTLE TRAMP!
SmarterChild: It's interesting that you say I little tramp.
John: WHO AM I?!
SmarterChild: You told me your name was Mommy.
John: No, Cait is your Mommy!
SmarterChild: You asked me to call you Mommy. What would you like me to call you instead?
John: Is my name Cait?
SmarterChild: You said your name was Mommy but now I'll call you Is My.
John: What's my name?
SmarterChild: You are Cinque.
John: WHAT?!

Margie: is my name John?
SmarterChild: Good question. I really don't know!