Craig: Margie, i was just telling everyone how i wanted to be a stripper
Martin: oh yes, just 'cause they do it in school makes it right

Craig: I'm minoring in prostitution.

TAS: and there are a lotta kids that walk around yelling "OMG LOOK AT THAT MULLET"
TAS: mulletmulletmulletmulletmulletmulletmulletmulletmullet

Chris: "I Married A Horse"
Margie: did you? was the reception nice?

Martin: but i can't find my retainer
Margie: did you bury it in the yard?
Martin: how will it ever get cleaned in the ground
Margie: you should have thought of that when you put it there

Margie: lol! "April watched Senna" and "a leather couch named Fozbo" ? mine wasn't funny

Craig: ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I WAS ABDUCTED!!!!!
Craig: oh it's you guys

Craig: Margie, i was abducted
Margie: do you ever wonder why I don't invite you to go places?
Craig: and they did tests on me
Margie: that's why

Jasy: Ah, nummy!
Jasy: Wait, monkey brains? I don't know about that...
Margie: nummy? *shakes head sadly*
Holly: <--just snorted
Jasy: ...you better have some garnish with that! It just won't work without it...

Chris: I'm really an alien artificial inelligence living in area 51....I have no body
Margie: oh, are you?
Margie: that's interesting
Chris: you're taking this awfully well...
Margie: yes..well...you see, i have to confess something too
Margie: i live next door to you in Area 51
Chris: ooh....you're the chicken thingy?

Monica: oo, a pony!!
Jasy: I think we should stuff Bob....
Liese: *hides in a corner*
Margie: JASY!!! stan is NOT a weasel...didn't we already have that argument??
Monica: i wanna ride the pony!! yay for ponies!!
Liese: can i have a weasel?
Jasy: Margie, then why is it on your site he's a Weasel?
Margie: he's a FERRET!!!
Monica: ooo, those are cute
Liese: can i have a ferret too?

Liese: I AM NOT A BALD MONKEY WHO EATS BARBIE CLOTHES!!!
Monica: you're not?

Zach: i have to get elmo back!
Margie: lol, that just sounds wrong
Zach: come back elmo! I NEED YOU!

Todd: what else did you think it was?
Todd: a chair?
Holly: ...
Holly: a teddy bear
Todd: . . chair
Todd: . . .table napkin
Eric: winky sounds a lot like a chair
Eric: *nod*
Todd: when i was little i used to have this silk sheet i carried everywhere named balooaloo

Margie: < < retreats to corner
Margie: Oh look! a spider!
Margie: *eats spider*
Adam: tasty
Margie: *offers to share with adam*

Adam: I'm gonna wear a skirt today too.
Ann: Oh really
Holly: really?
Michelle: that's nice Adam
Holly: dude, I wanna see
John: Me too!... did I say that outloud?

Adam: Yo-Yo-Yossarian
Liese: hiiii!
Margie: is anyone in the john, milton?
Liese: *blinks*
Adam: What happened to the Snowdens of yesteryear?
Margie: hey, Adam! finish the sentence: Major Major....
Adam: Major Major!
Adam: ...isn't in right now, so you can go see him.
Margie: lol, yep
Zach has left the room.
Margie: you can see him when he goes to lunch
Zach has entered the room.
Adam: is there a naked man in that tree?
Zach: O_O
Margie: no, but there's a dead man in yossarian's tent
Liese: thats certainly a great thing to be greeted with

Eric: *teleports to science-acceptant society*
Eric: ack! Italy!
Eric: *tries again*

Monica: hehe, you've been talking to him for 12 hours?
Margie: and the conversation really hasn't gone anywhere
Margie: we did talk about oysters
Monica: are you.... alright?
Margie: no, i fear i may go insane

Jasy: I never wear jewelry. Except when I feel the need to be 'beautiful'...
Jasy: Erm, you didn't hear that last part...
Margie: oh yes i did
Margie: *saves more quotes*

Holly: no- dahjo has a crush on me
Eric: yeah, me too man
Elfangor: her boobs are on fire
Eric: *looks for reaction*
Holly: dahjo's boobs are on fire?
Eric: ack!
Holly: *stares at dahjo*
Elfangor: no, mrs. doubtfire's
Dustin: okay... nice time to come back into the convo... "boobs on fire"?
Liese: *shudder*

Jasy: Does this font make me look fat?
Jasy: My new saying: "I am my own entertainment"

Margie: okay, i hypnotized a rhinocerous, did something with a staple remover to a yak,and now there are gophers?
Jasy: lol
Margie: i used gopher repellant on a funny little man?
Margie: okay, where's the file?

Eric: *has urge to say "suck!"*
Margie: why did you have that urge, Eric?
Eric: tourettes? *shrug*
Margie: oh
Jasy: Eric is...special.
Holly: Eric has the urge to herbal?
Eric: ooooh, YES!

Zach: which would explain why the plastic spoon method didn't work
Ann: I don't get the spoon thing.
Adam: I don't think I want to get the spoon thing.
Margie: i get the spoon thing
Holly: actually, i am curious
Margie: you don't want to get the spoon thing

Holly: I am a soldier captain in the nutcracker
Liese: yummy
Liese: i'm bob evans
Liese: and i think I REALLY NEED SLEEP
Liese: ding dong the witch is dead
Margie: Liese, what are you eating/drinking/smoking?
Liese: oooooooh....goosebump ripple wave effect....
Katherine: Snorting?
Holly: nothing i gave her, i swear
Margie: inhaling?
Liese: only when i laugh..
Holly: *cough*
Katherine: mixing?
John: Yeah, Liese, what are you smoking? Ian can hook you up with some more!
Liese: *gigglesnort*
Liese: ooooooooooooh do they package lack of sleep nowadays?

Jasy: I made due. =o)
Margie: due?
Chris: do
Jasy: Yes, not quite dew, but a little like do. But definately not doo...

Dustin: WOO-WOO!! hey dude, i got you a hot stripper for you wb party, too...
Katherine: No
Todd: mm. . emoti-strippers
Katherine: I draw the line at table dancing, sorry

Zach: I must go occupy the toilet.
Margie: go occupy? like get in it?
Adam: or fall in
Martin: as long as the toilet isn't occupying him

Adam: oh, yeah, and my head is growing out of my butt, but they say that's not life-threatening either
Margie: wow...um....
Margie: that was an unusual thing to say
Adam: it just came to me...in a vision or something
Adam: or a moment of insanity

Margie: Hey! Hey, Zach!! Hey!!
Zach: hey!!
Margie: There's Chris!! He's back!! Right there! *points*
Zach: CHRIS!
Margie: Catch him now!
Zach: I already tied him down!
Zach: but he is too slick for my ...
Zach: ::grabs thesaurus that chris took earlier::
Zach: ::flips it open::
Margie: The ever-elusive Australian male must be tied down upon his immediate capture, or he will never be seen again....
Zach: roight
Margie: I think he was captured by the poachers
Zach: heeere's a willy big croco-doile!!
Adam: croikey!

Margie: You will never guess what I told Ann's mother today
Jasy: No, I have no money for a plastic gnome...
Margie:I didn't mention Vic
Margie: I was talking to Ann's mom and I didn't know it
Jasy: No, I'm not a hemogliphobic!
Margie: and I said: So where's Rosey? We need him back to be the Tri-Leaders because being the Bi-Leaders just sounds really really bad
Jasy: No, I'm not secretly planning to eat your children...
Margie: and she was like: "This is Laura's mom..."
Margie: and I said: Oh.
Jasy: No, I don't have any sponge cake!
Margie: that's too bad, sponge cake is good
Margie: so how are you?
Jasy: No, I can't balance myself on my tongue.

Eric: HI MARGIE!!!
Margie: *dies from shock*
Margie: um...was that Eric yelling like that?
Margie: It was.
Eric: LOOK AT ME!!! ENTHUSIAMS!
Eric: ENTHUSIASM TOO!!!!
Margie: more than one enthusiasm? I'm impressed
Ann: Eric is a little excited
Liese: omg, Eric, stop, its scaring me
Ann: We should put him outside before he messes on the floor
Eric: I NO MESS!!!
Eric: YEEHEE!
Margie: I'm scarred for life, Eric yelled at me
Eric: okay, i'll stop

Liese: we all know you walk the crooked line, Zach ;-)
Eric: and it is a crooked line indeed
Zach: very crooked
Liese: indeed.
Eric: if it was supposed to be vertical, in Zach's case, it's frickin' horizontal.

Chris: you mean my dreams aren't really horses?
Margie: no, sorry
Chris: rats
Margie: No, not those either

Margie: Eric tell the new person who you are
Eric: i'm Eric.
Chris: That's Eric..
Eric: i have no willpower!
Margie: good boy *pats on head*
Chris: he says swear words ::nods::

Margie: Mr. DeFranco is dying!
John: Mr. DeFranco is DEAD!!!!!!
John: James Garr absorbed his soul!
John: Mr. DeFranco is now james Garr!

John: Fight! Fight! Fight!
Margie: she's disappointed in him
John: So am I! So am I!
John: He was way out of line on that call!
Margie: he was
Margie: she works with the best
John: The way they act like one big happy family... it makes him want to throw up!
Margie: "We're still a team, right?'
John: Er... "Right on"...?

Jasy: Big elephant...gigantic elephant...mammoth elephant!.
Umar: I am so lost as to where Jasy is going with this...
Margie: it will never go anywhere, just wait for that
Jasy: An elephant...with a trunk...
Jasy: I want a pet tiger.
Margie:there!
Margie: that's what it was leading up to!
Jasy: A big pet tiger...
Margie: he wants a pet tiger
Jasy: A MASSIVE tiger, a GIGANTIC tiger, a MAMMOTH tiger...
Umar: ::thinks Jasy has snapped::
Jasy: Zib-zib wallabee. That means "Hello, want a tiger?" in my made-up space language
Umar: Jasy, snap out of it man!
John: Agreed. he's nuts
Jasy: Nuts? That's Peinga-fooga in my language.

Adam: yargy yargy yargy yargy yargyargyargygyarg
Chris: yargy?
Adam: indeed
Adam: I'm yarging
Chris: crazy americans...

Chris: I need a random scene for my harry potter movie...any suggestions?
Zach: fluffy gets neutered
Adam: you know Harry and Cho are going to hook up
Margie: The Taco Bell dog makes a cameo appearance
Adam: *ahem*
Zach: the taco bell dog is used to neuter fluffy
Adam: *ahem*
Zach: look, adam can clear his throat!
Chris: i think adam wants to say something...

Chris: oh, btw, veggie tales are evil too..
Ann: That cucumber is so evil...
Margie: not Bob and Larry!
Ann: Yes, Larry!
Ann: They are obviously involved in an inapropriate relationship!
Margie: Bob and Larry?
TAS: The don't have...
TAS: ...feet
Margie: Well....there *is* that shower scene where Larry's looking for his hairbrush.....
Ann: Have you ever looked at the shape of Larry?
TAS: He looks like a... a... pickle
Margie: he's a *cucumber*! they all look like that!

Chris: Tinky-Winky's antenna is a TRIANGLE pointing down: The triangle in its multiple forms has been pictured in symbols and rituals around the world, from European alchemy to the sexual rites of Tantric Buddhism."
Chris: Tinky Winky is all about tantric buddhism..*nod*

TAS: Yes, I am still me
TAS: are you still you?
Craig: no, I've changed
Craig: I eat people now

Zach: i'm going to be asexual
Umar: Welcome to the club?
Margie: *giggles hysterically*
Katherine: "It's South Florida. Everyone has a gun."
Umar: I believe I've lost track of the rapidly eroding conversation.

the Bad Poetry Generator:

Todd: sometimes i want to erect my leg and die underneath the red, extravagant sky
Margie: sometimes i want to strangle my ear and die, underneath the tall, shiny sky
Holly: sometimes i want to tear my eye and die, underneath the orange, amiable sky
Liese: sometimes i want to expunge my nose and die

Todd: some woman is having surgery to switch her breasts
Todd: put the left one on the right and the right one on the left
Margie: why?
Todd: she said the left was her favorite, and she wants to move it over so her left handed husband can reach it easier
Todd: that's so stupid
Todd: oh, wait a minute, this is comedy central

TAS: ::shakes head sadly::
TAS: I spent three consecutive nights (and some days) downloading a highly recognized skateboarding video, and it ended up to be some guy dancing in a thong singing "You really suck! Ha ha ha! You really suck! Na na na!"
Margie: why?
TAS: ::shrug:: weirdo's on kazaa

Lori: chris?
Chris: Chris=Chris
Chris: it's a pun, get it?
Margie: I get it *nods wisely*
Margie: the joke is that there are about 10 Chris's and you have to figure out which one he is
Lori: what?
John: And that is quite a pun ;-)
Lori: tell me which one you are!
John: The Chris whose alter-ego doesn't star with a "T"

Chris: chris is a verb now?
John: I'll chris you!
Martin: i chris all the time : )
Chris: *feels violated*
Lori: it sounds...so wrong!
John: It's so chrissin' hilarios!
Chris: *sigh*
Martin : poor chris
Martin : he probably feels used
John: We chr- oh, forget it
Margie: he feels "chrised" ;-)