Neary Issues

Netic picked her cell phone when she got home and dialed 492-4391. Her home phone number. The portable phone in her mom’s phone rang. She picked it up.

"What?" She said in her typical drunk voice.

"I would like to speak to Cameron. This is Bejole." Netic said in her best uncle voice.

"Cammy! Pick up the phone!" her mom yelled.

"Got it." Netic pretended to talk, then went upstairs.

"Mom. Uncle Bejole wants me to come stay with him for a few months. He said we are gonna go…camping and stuff."

"Yeah, go ahead. Give me the number...he gonna pick you up?" she asked.

"Yeah. He’s outside right now! I gotta go!" Netic scribbled out her cell phone number. "Here is Uncle Bejole's home number. Bye, mom."

Netic went to the Justice League.

Some girl opened the front door. "What?"

"I am... a superhero."

"So am I."

"Can I join?"



"Do you have a costume?" Scarlett asked.

The girl opened her pack and pulled out some cool sunglasses and a sweet ass leather jacket.

"Nice." Pinzz said.

She grinned. "Yeah."

"Dinner!" Oreo called from the kitchen.

It was some sort of soup. They all sat around the huge table. A spoon floated up in the air. Scooped up some soup and flew in a steady line to Netic’s mouth. She ate her dinner like this as if it were nothing. She was reading a magazine. When she was done, she put the spoon in the bowl and it floated over to the sink. She got up and went to sit on the couch.

"She has a cool power." Twisk said. "Cool. I'm not the newest member anymore."

"Yep. Now we can rela-" the phone cut Pinzz off.

"I'll get it!" Netic shouted. She was next to the phone, and answered it.

"Hello?....Justice League, yes..... how many?.......Ok, bye."

She came into the kitchen.

"Uh. That was the mayor. A car is teetering off the edge of a cliff somewhere. And the brush is too thick to actually get a copter in there…and its on a cliff, so its gonna take some time for actual people to get up there so they want us to take care of it."

"How many people do they want?" Pinzz asked.

"Four, they said. Five, maybe."

"Okay. We better hurry. Netic, get into costume. I'll go, Twisk you go…Oreo, you come."

Twisk jumped on her cool water board and did a silver surfer thing. Netic jumped on a hubcap, and sped off. Pinzz took off like Spiderman, and Oreo flew.

Soon, they reached the van. It was indeed teetering, about to fall. There was a baby inside, a middle aged woman, and a young child.

"Hold on! Don’t move!" Pinzz yelled.

"Can we get to the door?" Twisk asked.

"Yeah. But there’s no way we could get it without the car toppling. Twisk get on your water board. Fly over to the door, and try to open it." Pinzz said.

Twisk saw that she could easily get the baby, which was on the mother’s lap. "Hand me your baby, Ma'am. It's okay,” she took the baby to safety.

"How the heck did the car get there?" Netic said.

"Good question. I can’t get the door open. It’s jammed in." Twisk said.

Netic walked to the edge of the cliff and put her hands out in front of her. Nothing happened for a minute. Then SCEEEEEEEEEE-RAP! The door flew off the hinges, got carried through the air, and landed on the ground a few feet from Oreo.

"Watch it, Netic!" she said. Dirt billowed into the air.

"Sorry." Netic said. She cracked her knuckles.

Pinzz started climbing down the hill. She hung off the edge. Her hand was a foot from the door.

"Hey, kid, grab my hand!" she said.

The kid reached out, with help from his mother. Pinzz had both the kid’s hands in her one. She lifted him up and got him over her shoulder, then crawled up the cliff to safety.

The car started wobbling. Pinzz crawled back down.

"Lady, you next!" she yelled. The car started falling. "No!"

Pinzz jumped and grabbed the car. The car started falling slower. Slower. Then it stopped. Twisk looked to Netic. Her hands were in front of her, eyes closed, teeth bared, a vein popping out in her forehead.

"Pinzz hurry! Get the lady! Netic has the car!" Twisk yelled.

Pinzz crawled down the hood, into the window, and grabbed the lady just as the car started falling again. She shot her sticky fingers to the cliff wall. The attached to something and she climbed back up. Oreo was tending to the two children, and the four superheroes managed to get all three people safely down the mountain to the rescue workers.

"That was weird. We usually never get those calls." Oreo said.

"Netic. Great job." Pinzz said.

"Yeah you saved that lady’s life." Twisk added.

"Thank you, thank you."

Twisk noticed a mosquito on Pinzz neck. "Pinzz, you have a... Pinzz?" She had fallen to the ground. Twisk pulled out the little mosquito. It wasn’t a mosquito. It was a small tranquilizer dart, shaped like a..."It’s a finger!"

Pinzz blinked and unsteadily climbed to her feet. “What-“

"Woah." Twisk stepped back.


"Your...eyes." I said. They had turned red. White, then red. Pinzz narrowed her eyes and walked on.


A girl knocked on the door and another girl answered. "Hey. I'm Twisk."

"Hey. I'm ecstatic to meet you."

Twisk gave the new girl a quizzical look, but allowed her inside the Hall.

"I can control and not produce fire. I can jump high... jump far... jump quick..." the girl said. “The name is Firehop and I’m a superhero.”


Xiao was washing dishes in the JL kitchen, which was in surprisingly good condition, considering. Every once and awhile, the superheroes ate real food, like spaghetti and stuff, and took turns washing dishes. Apparently it was her turn.

"I don't like all these new people coming around," She told Fred, who was standing around, doing nothing- he said he was testing his powers on Llama Boy, but nothing was happening. He thought it was because Llama Boy became less human every day, and there wasn't a human mind to manipulate. "It's weird- all these people joining at once. I don't like that red-haired girl. She's too perky. No one should be able to be that chipper."

Xiao had met Firehop and Netic early that day, and disapproved of both. Fred told her to stop being stuffy, and start to try to manipulate more JL members to his cause.

"You know, I don't have to obey you." She pointed out. "I could just ignore your every word, and-"

"-And then I would possess you and make you do unsightly things in front of X-Raytor." Fred said smugly.

"Would you like cream in that coffee?" She asked hurriedly, handing him a mug. He didn't need to eat, but he found it amusing- it reminded him of his days as a regular evil being.

"I should see if I can do that possessing thing to anyone else. It's not hard to take you over. You're weak-willed." Fred said, thinking aloud.

She bit back an angry retort, when Firehop came into the kitchen.

"Hey Xiao- Wow! How do you do that?" Firehop asked, looking at her shadow. "That's cool."

She'd forgotten to show Firehop and Netic Fred. "It's not a trick."

"What's your power, anyway? You never told me. Is it bending light? Or mak-" Firehop chattered away.

"I told you, it's not a trick. I don't have any powers," Xiao interrupted, thrusting a dish under the water angrily. It irritated her, being reminded she wouldn't be special without Fred. "He possessed my shadow. I'm not really a superhero, okay?"

"Whoa, so he's what...a demon?" Firehop poked Fred, inspecting him.

"Not technically," Fred said, taking over for Xiao, even though he usually delighted in her distress. "I'm just a very powerful and influential evil being. The name is Fred. KING Fred," he added. "Xiao actually does have a power. If you want, she can show you..."

Xiao glanced at Fred. A light bulb went on. He was playing a joke on Firehop. Her "power" was to drain people's life force, or whatever, and 'feed' it to Fred. Showing Firehop would mean killing Firehop. She didn't like Firehop, but not enough to kill her- or attempt to.

"That won't be necessary, Fred," She said, finishing the dishes. "Later," she told Firehop.

"But... What about your power?" Firehop asked, sounding sincerely interested.

The phone rang, and Xiao answered it. A bank robbery was in motion. "C'mon, if you really want to see, follow me. Actually- you'll be faster..." She gave the girl the address and promised to catch up.


Xiao caught up fairly quickly. There were two thugs, and Firehop had already taken care of them- cornering them against a wall, ready to set them on fire, Xiao supposed.

She approached the bigger one, and put a hand on his head. A second later he dropped to the ground. She took the other one out too.

"There. That's my power," she told Firehop. "I drain people's...essence, and it goes to Fred."

Firehop looked ready to speak, glancing at the guys on the ground, but didn't- Xiao had turned and started to walk back to the Hall of Justice.








Oreo Avenger sighed. "You know, you're not helping yourself by not smiling."

X-Raytor grumbled. "What does it matter? You can't even see my face under my mask. I might be smiling right now."

"But you're not."

"How do you know?"

"Because I asked you... thirty seven times to smile, and you said no every time."

"Thirty seven?!" Exclaimed Super Dude, walking by.

"In a row?!" Raven asked, sticking her head around the corner from the computer room.

X-Raytor glared at them and they went back to what they were doing, grumbling about how grouchy he was.

Oreo Avenger sighed. "Just get over it, okay! You're no fun! You're not even looking through my clothes!"

X-Raytor straightened on the couch. "You want me to?"

"No!" Oreo Avenger shrieked, putting a pillow up over her chest. X-Raytor slumped, and she said. "I mean... uh..."

Just then, Scarlett Fyre walked in.

"Ah! I meant, no, don't look through my clothes, look through Scarlett's!"

Scarlett stopped dead, like she had just walked into a trap, and set X-Raytor a warning glare. He hadn't even lifted his glare, though, and was running his gloved finger through the dust.

"What's up with him?" Scarlett asked.

"Girl problems." Eric said, walking into the kitchen and turning the handle on the sink. He shrieked as Twisk's head popped out of the faucet.

"Someone's got Neary issues!" She said, and then drained into the sink and became completely solid.

“I do not!”

Rosma walked in. “X-Raytor has Neary issues?”

“That’s what I heard…” Crystal said, coming in on the other side of the room. Super Dude and Raven re-entered, just for fun.

“Why are all of you here? What do you care?” X-Raytor exclaimed.

Violet walked in and got some food from the fridge. She glanced around at the others and then looked down.


“F*** off.”

X-Raytor blinked. “Um… anyway… do you think I have Neary issues?”

She paused. “Yes. And f*** off.”

Then she sat down and began moodily eating her lunch.

Midnight Chatter walked in. “Hey everyone.” He looked down at X-Raytor, and pounded his chest with his fist. “Stay strong, brother, stay strong.”

DragonGirl came in. “What’s going on?”

“X-Raytor has Neary issues.” Raven explained gleefully.

“I do not!”

OMEGA fell out of a closet, rubbed his head. “Wha…? X-Raytor has Neary issues?”

“I do not!!”

The Lump formerly known as Llama Boy formerly known as Neomatrix came in, still indistinct as to what his new form was. He glanced at X-Raytor.

“I don’t!”

It was then that Xiao walked in, with a somewhat frightened looking Firehop behind her. She blinked. “Um… what’s going on?”

“They think I have Neary issues.” X-Raytor grumbled.

“You do.” Firehop said.

“How would you know? You’re new here!”

Xiao rolled her eyes. “Well duh, who doesn’t know?”

At that point, Pinzz walked in. The entire room fell silent. Pinzz glanced around at all the staring Justice Leaguers, and got a glass of milk. She walked through the common room, past the couch X-Raytor was on, stopped, and glared.

“What?!” She demanded. They all continued staring. With an exasperated sigh, Pinzz stormed out of the room.

There was a brief silence. And then Violet snorted.

The entire common room erupted into laughter, and X-Raytor tried to roll himself up in a ball.

“Come on, come on, seriously,” Oreo said, trying to force down a grin. “We’re trying to help him, here.”

Raven bit down on the laughter forming. “Yeah. Yes. She’s right.”


“Ah screw it! This is hilarious!” Eric exclaimed, and everyone started laughing again. X-Raytor stormed out and locked himself in his room.

I’ll show them I don’t have Neary issues! I can get over her anytime I want, easy! There was no real attachment, she was just out of her right state of mind! Like that time you were drunk and joined the priesthood! … Which reminds me, I really should call up the parish and tell them I’m not coming back…

He shook the thought from his head. He had to think of something else. Not Neary. Not Neary not Neary not Neary.

Hmm… I wonder what Neary’s doing?

With a frustrated growl, he flopped down on his bed and pouted.


Firehop and Xiao, having already been out once, volunteered to go back out and patrol. They were walking down a deserted street, when they heard a struggle behind them, towards the alley.

"What was that?" Xiao asked.

Firehop shrugged and walked over to look. "I can’t see. Its dark." She snapped her fingers. A flame topped her finger like it was a candle. And with the small glowing light, the two girls saw some guy with his finger pointed at them.

"Finger!" Xiao yelled.

"What?" Firehop said.

"Uh!" Xiao groaned, and fell to the ground.


Two guys emerged from the shadows and picked her up, grinning. Firehop stuck her hands behind her back and slowly formed a ball of fire.

"Give her back." she said.

"No. This one goes to me." Finger said. "Tell your fellow Justice League friends that Magic Finger has this one here." He motioned to Xiao, slumped over the guys shoulder.

He started off. Firehop crouched, jumped, grabbed the roof with her free hand and swung off it. She flipped in the air and landed in front of Magic Finger. He regarded her calmly until he saw the huge flaming ball in her hands. She stepped back. Aimed for his head.

FTTT. FTTT. Puhhhhh..

"OW!" she dropped the fireball. It caught fire to the trash on the ground. Four small knives stuck in Firehop’s knee, which was now bleeding profusely. Magic Finger continued walking and got in his snazzy car. Firehop got up and walked right through the fire, collecting it up in her hands and putting it out. She watched the car drive away and headed back to the Hall.


The new girl, Firehop, came in. Her right leg was totally bleeding.

"What happened?" Pinzz said, having come back from the store. She was sitting on the edge of the couch and X-Raytor was scooting slowly closer.

"Uhh. They stole Xiao? I think it was some Finger Guy. He said his name was the Finger..."

"Oh, they stole Xiao? Well, we can all relax." Twisk said, eating a carrot.

"We have to go after her." Pinzz said.

Everyone was either sleeping or somewhere else. So Twisk, Pinzz, X-Raytor, Netic and Firehop took off in search of Magic Finger’s castle in the woods.


X-Raytor approached the castle with the others, pissed that the Justice League is so weak- they've been kidnapped, like, a million times. Also, angry at himself for being one off the weakest.

X-Raytor cautioned Netic and Firehop about fighting super villains. Pinzz and Twisk gave each other looks, clearly saying they were surprised he was actually taking some responsibility.

They snuck into Magic Finger's castle through an underground sewer, and ended up in a sort of trash room. They played in the icky trash a little and then went exploring. They eventually found Xiao's prison relatively easy, and also broke her out rather easily. Too easily. Magic Finger and the Super Model Clones entered. X-Raytor was rendered helpless by the mere sight of the Super Model Clones, and just stared.

The others fought, with the exception of Xiao, who seemed to be relaxing. Magic Finger used his finger powers to their extent, only being caught off guard occasionally, but he was coming out on top. The Super Model Clones helped as well, opening fire on the JL members with designer purses and accessories, which were, in actuality, machine guns.

X-Raytor tried move, tried to get up and fight, but he couldn’t. Magic Finger and the Super Model Clones captured the other members, and Magic Finger decided to ransom them off. Then Xiao, possessed by Fred, told him that he'd have fewer problems if he just killed them all. Magic Finger agreed, and thought about how to do so.

There was a flash in X-Raytor's mind, like a switch being thrown. A flash that he, for some reason, associated with a pale green color. Magic Finger stopped, looked dull, and blinked.

"What do we do?" He asked, turning to the Super Model Clones.

The nearest one shrugged. "I'm, like, totally clueless."

"Yeah, I know, but what do we *do*?"

"I...I don't know."

"Well," Pinzz said. "You guys could just surrender yourselves and come with us."

Magic Finger frowned. "Yeah, like hell." He blinked. "But what else are we supposed to do?"

Twisk glanced at Pinzz. "Um, aren't you supposed to be fighting us or something?"

Magic Finger nodded. "Yeah, but... but... I can't!" He slammed the wall. "What IS this?!"

"Um... so, I guess we should bring you in now?" Pinzz said.

Magic Finger shrugged. "Screw it, why not.”

They took the villains outside, and when they returned to the Hall of Justice and locked them up, they checked to see if any crimes had happened in their absence. None had.